I Fell in Love with Someone I Shouldn't Have Fallen in Love with - Chapter 31
- Home
- All
- I Fell in Love with Someone I Shouldn't Have Fallen in Love with
- Chapter 31 - Shaken Thoughts
Shaken Thoughts
When I open the door, Emi is standing at the entrance with a carry-on bag.
“Onee-chan! I missed you!”
She says so as she hugs me.
The last time we met was on the day of Mama’s funeral. She was in the ninth grade at the time.
It has been almost two years and a half since then, Emi now is already in her second year of high school, she has become much more mature and beautiful.
She has grown taller, her hair is longer, and her appearance has become more feminine.
She sent me pictures of herself frequently, but seeing her growth in person is truly remarkable.
“What are you doing here, Emi!? What are the both of you thinking!? I’ve told you that I’m not going back!”
I say so as I push Emi back.
“Well, well, let’s just calm down for a moment okay, Onee-chan? I’m going inside, okay?”
Saying so, Emi slips past me and enter my apartment without permission.
“Fufufu, Onii-chan, that apron doesn’t suit you at all!”
“Well, without my apron my clothes will get wet. Besides, I didn’t bring any spare clothes, so I have no choice.”
“Eh? You didn’t bring any spare clothes?”
“No, I came here impulsively.”
“Geez, if you had told me, I would’ve brought some of Onii-chan’s change of clothes.”
“But you didn’t tell me that you were coming either, Emi-san.”
“Then, why don’t you just borrow Onee-chan’s?”
I let out a sigh at the entrance before going back inside my apartment with my grumpy aura. To my dismay, they continue to have such a friendly sibling talk with each other, they seem oblivious of my irritation.
I somehow can’t believe it.
While I have been struggling and suffering alone with the burden of our parents’ sins, my little sister and my first love has become really close as siblings during my absence. Even though I want that kind of relationship with them myself. I don’t know why I’m feeling like this, but looking at the two of them, I feel frustrated, envious and bitter.
“So Emi, what did you come here for? Travel expense aren’t cheap, you know?”
“I came to see you, Onee-chan! Don’t worry, I squeeze my monthly living expenses from Papa, so I’m good.”
“Well, there’s no helping it since you’re already here, but you’re going back tomorrow, okay? You have school on Monday, don’t you? Souji-kun, you’re also going back with Emi tomorrow. You have to go to college too, right?”
“I won’t go back until you agree to live together with me, Ami-san. So, I’m not leaving.”
“I’m tired of hearing that already…can’t you just give up and forget about it?”
“Onee-chan, Mama isn’t here anymore, so what’s the point of making yourself suffer like this? You don’t have to bear Mama’s sins all by yourself, you know? I’m her daughter too, so I’ll share the burden with you.”
“Emi, you should just think about your own happiness.”
“No way. Unless Onee-chan is with me, I don’t want to.”
Talking to these two is giving me a headache.
“Ami-san, do you know why I’m so persistent about us living together?”
“No, I don’t want to hear about it.”
I shouldn’t listen to it.
The last thing I want to do is to hear it. If I do, I might end up getting too happy and rushing into Souji-kun’s arms, wagging my tail.
I get up, go to the entrance, put on my slippers, and go outside alone.
I walk to a nearby park.
I sit on the swing and start to let my mind wander.
Unlike in the past, both Souji-kun and Emi have become more assertive about entering my heart.
I feel both annoyed and happy about it.
Despite me leaving and pushing them away, they still care for me. They even persistently ask me to live together with them.
How can I not feel happy about it?
Of course, I feel really happy.
This is not good—
I’m starting to feel like I want to go back with the two of them.
If I go and live together with Souji-kun, I’ll surely be happy, right?
There is no way that is allowed.
I have lost my right to be happy.
Besides, I can’t act like a true sister like Emi does.
No matter how hard I try, I’m just a woman who loves Souji-kun.
My heart is in turmoil. On one hand, I constantly remind myself that I shouldn’t be happy because I carry the burden of Mama’s sins. On the other hand, after spending two lonely years by myself, I’m starting to feel worn out by the loneliness, I’m longing to be together with them again, just like in the past. However, I’m shaken with my anxiety because I don’t have the confidence to be able to act like a sister to Souji-kun like Emi does.