I Fell in Love with Someone I Shouldn't Have Fallen in Love with - Chapter 32 ~END

More than Siblings, Less than Lovers

As I’m sitting on the swing, gazing at the ground and sighing for what feels like the umpteenth time today, someone comes up to me.

“Ami-san, let’s head back together. I’ve cooked some soba noodles for lunch. Let’s all eat together.”

Souji-kun with his gentle smile, reaching out his right hand.

I look at Souji-kun’s hand and mutters to myself.

“I’m the one who led Mama to her death. I’m the one who killed her. I made her kept drinking and made her into an alcoholic, I kept giving her money, and never took her to the hospital. I kept giving her money because I wanted her to die. I’m even worse than Mama or Papa. I’ve killed my own parent…I’ve strayed too far from the path of humanity that I don’t deserve to be happy anymore.”

As I murmur these words, Souji-kun kneels down before me, putting his right hand on my knee.

“Ami-san, your actions may be unforgiveable. However, I’m grateful, I’m truly grateful for what you’ve done. You helped both me and my mother to get over our disappointments and regrets. For me and my mother, you are our saviour. I’m truly grateful from the bottom of my heart.”

“It’s not like I did it for your sake, Souji-kun…I truly hated Mama…I hated Mama for giving birth to me…”

“Even so, you are still my saviour. You’ve always been that way, Ami-san. You’ve helped me more than you can imagine. You brought me Onigiri and sandwiches late at nights, made cookies and donuts for me, and when I first started living on my own, you used your own hard-earned part-time job money to buy me all the things I needed. Do you remember? Back then, I made a promise to you that I would repay you someday. Until this day, I still haven’t able been able to fulfil that promise. And yet, you went away by yourself and helped me more than I can ever repay you. It’s my turn now. I want to repay you for everything you’ve done. That’s why, please give me that opportunity to do so.”

“…no, I can’t.”

“Ami-san, I need to clear some things up with you. You’re misunderstanding something, you believe that I’m unhappy and suffered because you were born, but that is not true. Even though my mother and I had a modest life, I was never lonely. Even after my mother passed away, I met you and Emi-san, because of the two of you, my life became more enjoyable. Please don’t assume that I’m unhappy and suffered because of you. In fact, I feel sad about my current life without you by my side, Ami-san. That’s why, from now on, please stay by my side.”

“……”

No matter how many excuses I come up with, I can’t deny my wish to be by Souji-kun’s side any longer…

“…is it really okay for me to stay by your side, Souji-kun? I’m sure that I will feel happy if I stay with you.”

“Of course. Yeah, you’ll definitely be happy. Both Emi-san and I will do our best to make you happy. We’ll make you so happy that you might get nosebleeds.”

“But, I can’t call you ‘Onii-chan’ like Emi does, though.”

“The way you call me doesn’t matter. Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay…then, from now on, please allow me to stay by your side, Souji-kun…”

I say so and hesitantly place my hand on top of Souji-kun’s right hand.

“Thank you.”

Souji-kun says so with his usual gentle smile on his face.

Then, he stands up while holding my hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After I decided that I’m going to live together with Souji-kun, I submit my resignation letter at work and plan to return to my hometown exactly one month later.

When I go to tell my grandparents about it, they say,

“It will be lonely without you, but it’s for the best. Be happy, Ami.”

When I return to my hometown, we move to a slightly larger apartment since Souji-kun’s old apartment is too small for the two of us.

Since the rent is quite expensive, I immediately started looking for a job and managed to get a job as an office worker.

While working hard at my job, I also do my best to take care of the household chores.

On the other hand, Souji-kun attends university while working part-time, he usually helps me with the household chores as well.

Every weekend, Emi comes to stay over with us.

Emi always gets attached to me whenever she comes over, wanting to take baths together, cook together, and even sleep in the same futon together.

I think my current relationship with Souji-kun now is more than siblings, less than lover.

Whenever we go out together, we always hold each other hands. At home, we often give each other lap pillow and clean each other’s ears.

We even kissed once.

Unlike our middle and high school days, we are not so reserved towards each other anymore. We are able to speak frankly and honestly with each other, we even have arguments sometimes.

I usually can’t win the argument with my words, so I pretend to cry in front of Suji-kun and he finally apologizes.

It seems that Souji-kun is still weak against my tears. Fufufu.

By the way, I never called him ‘Onii-chan’.

I don’t know what lies ahead for us, but I’m truly happy as it is now.

Then during the Obon holiday, Souji-kun takes me and Emi to his mother’s hometown for the first time. The three of us, Souji-kun, emi and I go to visit his mother’s grave.

At his mother’s grave, Souji-kun introduces us.

“Mom, I brought my little sisters with me. These two are my precious little sisters. Thanks to them, I’m able to fulfil my promise to you.”

In my heart, I convey my feelings of apology and gratitude.

‘Nice to meet you, I’m Ami. I’m truly sorry about my parents. Also, thank you for bringing Souji-kun and me together.’

The cicadas which had been so noisy just a moment ago, has suddenly gone silent.

Then, a gentle breeze starts to blow.

“Souji-kun, it’s been a while since the last time I hear you sing. Can you sing for us here?”

“Hmm, all right.”

Souji-kun holds both Emi’s and my hands, closes his eyes and begin to sing gently.

Tate no ito wa anata

yoko no ito wa watashi

Orinasu nuno wa itsuka dareka no

Kizu wo kabau kamo shirenai

Tate no ito wa anata yoko no ito wa watashi

Au beki ito ni deaeru koto wo

Hito wa shiawase to yobimasu

(TN: the lines above are song lyrics from “Ito” by Miyuki Nakajima)