I Came Back from the Dead, Quit Being a Holy Hero, and Just Wanna Shake My Hips in a Harem - Chapter 30: Fate Just Won’t Give Up on Me

Chapter 30: Fate Just Won’t Give Up on Me

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about “fate.”

I’m perfectly happy jerking my days away with my own life, thank you very much—

But my past-life fate keeps grabbing my ankle like, “Oh no you don’t, you’re not getting away.”

No matter how many times I trample it, no matter how many times I kick it aside, fate always finds the perfect dramatic moment to swing back and slam me with its so-called “fate power.”

Case in point: the Holy Armor Flora.

I thought I’d finally cut ties for good…

But that cursed thing still tried to attach itself to me.

Even after I dumped it in a great river, I knew it would probably come back if I smashed it—

So I decided to unleash a special move I’d been saving for emergencies: The Naked Hip-Thrust Swinging Dance.

“Begone, goddess! Begone, goddess! Begone, goddess!!”

Right there on my bed, in front of the armor sitting in all its holy glory,

I wiggled my hips while making one very specific part of me swing up-down-left-right like a possessed metronome.

And to my shock—

The armor went fwoosh… and vanished without a trace.

Guess even the armor was so disturbed it had no choice but to disappear.

…Of course, there’s a little epilogue to that.

Later, the innkeeper mistook me for a heretic cultist and I got in a lot of trouble.

But anyway—

Even though I’d successfully banished the goddess’s armor,

I could still faintly feel its presence.

Like it was lurking somewhere, waiting for the perfect chance to pounce again.

Word around the church was there’d been an “Incident of the Goddess Armor’s Disappearance,”

and Lily straight-up asked me about it.

I just went, “Nope, no idea~” and played dumb.

Judging by her eyes, I’m pretty sure she figured out at least part of the truth.

But my current problem was this—

The first-floor dining hall of the adventurers’ inn.

I was sitting at a window table, arms crossed, deep in thought…

When Filio strolled in, radiating pure sunshine.

“Morning, Haruya.”

“Yo—morning, Filio.”

Filio pulled out a chair and sat down across from me.

“You’ve got a pretty serious look on your face.”

“Say, Filio… do you believe in fate?”

“…That’s a bit out of nowhere.”

“I was just wondering—was it fate that we met?”

“Oooh, asking something embarrassing, huh? …Yeah, I think it was fate. You don’t just bump into such wonderful companions every day!”

She said it without a single hint of embarrassment—bright and breezy, classic Filio.

“What about you, Haruya? What do you think?”

“…Maybe… I do feel a little like it’s fate.”

“Huh, I’m surprised. You don’t seem like the type to believe in that stuff.”

“I don’t want to believe in it, but… it’s stubborn. Like it refuses to break up with me.”

“Hee~?”

Filio blinked her big eyes, clearly waiting for me to say more—

But seeing the way I frowned in thought, she let me be.

Meeting Lily again. Meeting Filio again.

It was hard not to feel like fate was messing with me.

Even if I ran, even if I tried to dodge it, fate just kept popping up, toying with my life.

Which meant I might as well brace myself—

For the reappearance of my past-life comrades.

“…Haah.”

I let out a heavy sigh.

Lily and Filio are already a handful in their own ways… but there’s another troublesome one out there.

Kikino Jukai—the Dancing Maiden.

A dancer from a town that worships spirits, her performances inspire her allies.

Basically, she’s a buffer. But what makes Kikino truly dangerous is something else entirely.

The Dancing Maiden… also known as the “Divine Descender” priestess.

By raising her mysticism to the absolute limit, she can commune not only with spirits—

But with the gods themselves.

Once she takes on a god’s perspective, her dance transforms into the Divine Dance.

With that added to our power, we’d be nearly unbeatable.

The problem is…

“…Haaah.”

“Haruya, want me to make you some tea?”

“I’d rather have boobs~…”

“Mou, you perv. Well, at least you sound alive.”

Yeah—because the “Divine Descender” can connect directly to the goddess Flora.

Which is way too dangerous. She’s the last person I want to meet.

I quietly checked into her hometown, Kamunkotan, but so far there’s been no news about Kikino Jukai.

In my past life, she only performed the Divine Descent Rite to become a Dancing Maiden when we needed to fight the Demon King, so I guess there’s no urgent reason for her to do it now.

Still… with high-level monsters running amok lately, I have to be ready.

I don’t think she’ll come to the trade city Granule.

Not because I’m being careless, but because she’s always been… a bit detached from the world.

Makes sense, I guess—when you can let spirits and gods literally possess you, you end up wrapped in a constant air of mystery.

She always felt a little… out of sync with reality.

Hardly ever had what you’d call a normal conversation with her.

In fact, here’s the one exchange with Kikino I can actually remember—

“…Mm.”

“…Right.”

“…I’ll dance.”

“…Yeah.”

A couple of words, and that was it.

And yet, right after that, she could deliver the most graceful, breathtaking performance imaginable.

Honestly, Kikino felt like someone born for the sole purpose of dancing.

In day-to-day life, it was Lily who helped her get by.

I met Kikino sometime after Filio officially joined the party.

A mystical dancing maiden stepping in as the priestess to support the Hero—

That’s how she became part of the team.

…Though really, she felt more like a support member than a core comrade.

I wasn’t planning to set foot in Kamunkotan anytime soon, but…

I had this nagging feeling—like fate was playing tricks again—that something would happen to force us into contact.

And sure enough, that feeling wasn’t wrong.

The front door of the adventurers’ inn swung open, and in walked Lily.

Looked like she’d been out since morning.

“Good morning, everyone.”

We all replied with a “Morning,” and she smiled, taking a seat next to Filio.

Then she straightened her posture, just a bit.

“Lily, where were you so early?”

“I was asked to assist with an investigation at the church…”

There it was.

That wasn’t just a hunch—it was practically instinct.

And yeah, I was betting this was Kikino-related.

Fate… I don’t deny you anymore.

“An investigation? Into what?”

“The sacred city of Kamunkotan. …Apparently, they’re planning to hold the Divine Descent Rite, and they want me to investigate.”

“The Divine Descent Rite? But I heard there weren’t any Dancing Maiden candidates?”

“That’s part of what the investigation is for.”

See? SEE?! Totally smells like a Kikino situation!

Hah! But joke’s on you, Fate—I knew it!

And because I knew it, I already came up with a rock-solid plan to deal with it!!

“So… I was wondering if I could ask both Lord Haruya and Filio to accompany me.”

“I’m fine with that, of course!”

Filio agreed instantly.

But even if I fussed and dragged my feet here, Fate would still rope me in.

Run? Won’t work.

Dodge? Won’t work.

Which means—

I lowered my head right onto the table and told them straight:

“I’m sorry! But there’s no way I can go to Kamunkotan!”

“…May I ask why?”

“I can’t tell you the reason… but I have a reason! And it’s strange! It’s weird! I know it’s bizarre not to explain, and I’m truly sorry for that! But—BUT—I absolutely, positively cannot go to Kamunkotan!!”

I rubbed my forehead into the table, pouring every ounce of sincerity into my plea.

Yes… this was my plan—my pure, honest, righteous approach!!

Because they walk the path of justice, if I’m completely upfront—even without explaining why—they’ll understand! They have to!

Come on, let this work! Please, please work!!

“…I understand. Please raise your head, Lord Haruya.”

Lily’s voice carried calm acceptance, so I looked up.

She had an expression that said she understood.

Y-YESSS! Take that, Fate! How do you like me now?! HAHA—eat it, Fate!

I was basking in pure relief when Lily locked her gaze on mine—her eyes unwavering.

“If Lord Haruya insists that strongly, I won’t force you… However, could I ask you to hear the circumstances first?”

“…? Uh, sure.”

Lily lowered her voice, her tone growing heavy and serious.

“…Please keep this between us, but there’s a possibility that Demon King Chronova is moving in the shadows. Kamunkotan apparently learned of this and decided to hold the Divine Descent Rite.”

“HUH???”

“EH???”

Both Filio and I blurted out in shock.

That’s insane. I know I defeated Demon King Chronova.

I can still remember the exact feeling of the Holy Sword slicing his soul to pieces.

These days, he only exists as “Lord Chronova,” the imaginary conversation partner in my head…

Okay, maybe my brain’s a little messed up, but the fact remains—I definitely took him down.

“I won’t question your reasons, Lord Haruya. I assume you have some deep circumstances of your own.”

“Ugh…

“I also think it’s more likely that the one acting in the shadows is a high-class monster, not the Demon King himself. But there’s always the small chance. And it’s because I trust your skill that I’ve been honest about this and, once again, ask you to accompany us.”

Lily bowed her head deeply, asking us with complete sincerity.

When you come at someone with the honest, straightforward approach… you get the honest, straightforward approach right back.

No tricks here—Lily really meant it.

And yet… I could almost hear Fate chuckling at me, ohohohohoho.

Ughhh… the possibility of Demon King Chronova, huh.

“Now, Hero… what will you do?” asked Lord Chronova (in my imagination).

For a man like me—dedicated to living the carefree, irresponsible harem adventurer life—the answer was obvious.

〇○○

“Wheee~! Look at me, visiting Kamunkotan just for fun!”

Dear Fate,

Let me make this very clear—this is not me losing to you. Absolutely not.

I simply, truly, came here because I felt like it.

So don’t get cocky.

In the grand scheme of things, my life is on top, and you’re at the bottom.

Please remember your place and act accordingly.

Sincerely yours.