She is Reading My Thoughts Again Today - Chapter 45
Walking Down the Stairs Day
The bell rings and the teachers return to their office. The classroom is filled with cheerful voices of students as the morning class came to an end. The male student who seats in front of me apparently forgot his bento, so he quickly got up and his chair bumped into my desk. Sounds of people lightly bumping into each other can be heard.
“I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
A strong voice interrupts him.
“Shouldn’t you hurry up and buy some food in the cafeteria?”
“Ahh yeah, I’m sorry.”
I actually recognize the owner of the voice, but I do not dare to look up. I can feel her gaze staring directly at me but I decided to ignore it. I put away my textbook and take my bento onto my desk. Her bento is just a few centimetres away from mine. When I look up, I meet Kisaragi’s eyes who seems to be slightly angry.
“You’re such a terrible person to ignore me.”
Then she borrowed the chair next to me and sat right beside me.
“Itadakimasu.”
She politely put her hands together and began to eat. I watch her eat silently without asking any questions.
“What’s wrong? That’s unusual, you don’t usually eat in class.”
Mikinori’s voice and the sound of a chair being pulled in front of me brought me back to myself.
“I just feeling like it, am I a nuisance?”
“No, you’re not a nuisance.”
I know that she is fed up when she said ‘ore wa’. Well, it’s nothing new.
(‘Ore wa’ means ‘I am’ in Japanese. Girls usually use ‘watashi wa’ instead of ‘ore wa’ because its more formal and polite.)
“Yeah, I don’t think you’re a nuisance.”
“Really?”
I was just a little surprised.
“Yeah, really.”
I also put my hands together and say ‘itadakimasu’ like she did and open my bento. I have to eat something anyway. I’m really hungry.
“Nao-chan was really amazing today at PE. I can’t believe she made that shot from there.”
“Eh, you were watching? That’s embarrassing. That was just a coincidence.”
“Even if that was a coincidence, it’s still really amazing. I think everyone were watching you, you know?”
“Ahh, maybe.”
I just listen to their conversation beside me as I gazed at the sky. No, I actually don’t remember what they’re saying, it’s more like I ignored them.
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The next day and the day after tomorrow, she also spent her lunch break talking with Mikinori. If they are fine with it then I shouldn’t say anything about it. Even though I had convinced myself, but I can’t help but to have some doubts about her sudden behaviour. Didn’t Kisaragi like being near me because I can supress her ability?
“Why did you suddenly come down the stairs?”
Her eyes are blatantly averted, it’s really easy to understand.
“Why, can’t I go down the stairs?”
“No, that’s not what I meant. I just thought that something is wrong.”
“It must be your imagination.”
“So, it’s just my imagination that you’ve always followed me around all this time?”
Her lips which seemed going to say something slowly closed without uttering a single word. She probably hasn’t realize, but there is no room for argument when it comes to it.
“…please wait.”
At that moment she looks depressed. She sat down in her seat and stare at the clock on the wall. I had no choice but to sit back at my seat and stare at the clock with her. At this distance she won’t be able to read my thoughts. There must be a reason since she asked me to stay for a while and wait. The first thing that comes in my mind is that my range for supressing her ability has shrunk, but there is no need for her to hide it. If that’s not the case then something must’ve happened to her.
Kisaragi finally broke the long silence. She stood up and picked up her bag. Her face is really hard to look at, it’s as if she is trying desperately to make up a smile.
“Let’s talk about it on our way home.”
I grab my bag and follow a few steps behind her.
Eventually, when we left the school gate and there is no sign of anyone around, she begins to talk again.
“I’m really afraid of people’s malice.”
Her voice was really small, I need around three seconds to finally understand what she said. It took me another five seconds to eventually realize the true meaning of those words. I stood in front of her and look into her face with worry. Her eyes are really red. She noticed I’m looking at her and she cover her face with her hands. All I can hear is the sound of her sniffing. She is crying, I made her cry, I made her cry. it’s my fault. It’s because I introduce her to peace and serenity, it’s because I supressed her ability. If I’m not around in the first place she would get used to her ability.
“It’s not Hokuto-san’s fault.”
Even if she said it’s not my fault, I think it’s all my fault.
“It’s because I was around.”
“I was the one who approached you. It was also me who wanted to be near you. So, I don’t want to use Hokuto-san as an excuse.”
When I see her crying, I actually want to pat her back and tell her not to force herself. But I stopped myself.
Instead, I pull out a pack of tissue from my pocket. The tissue has lost it shape because it has been there for so long. She took it silently and began to wipe her tears.
“I wish I don’t know what people are thinking, I wish I can’t read their thoughts.”
She muttered such words resentfully through the tissue. She just wants to have a normal life. That is her sincere wish.
I truly hope I can make that wish come true.
“…as long as it’s gone for a few minutes, right?”
She looks up in surprise. It’s as if her eyes are asking me ‘can you, do it?’
“Of course, I can’t do it. But if you ask Mikinori, he might be able to introduce you to someone who is experienced in it.”
The possibilities are unknown. It might be zero.
“Now you need to tell me what’s going on with you.”
I have a feeling that Mikinori already know everything. As far as I know, I haven’t explained anything clearly to him. But there’s a chance that he already understands the situation after all.
“Well, whether you want to laugh at the idea of asking help from Mikinori or look at the possibilities is all your choice.”
She nodded at my words. I threw the pack of wet tissues into the trash. After she stopped crying, I walked her home and I went back to my house.