My Popular-as-Hell Best Friend Is Annoying, So I Want to Get Him a Girlfriend and Shut Him Up - Chapter 68 & 69 & 70

Chapter 68: Discussion, and Then…

“It’s been three months, hasn’t it? Long time no see.”

I stand up, brushing the dust off my backside.

Getting spooked and falling on my butt in the shoe area might’ve been a bit undignified.

“Seriously, it’s lonely when you only show up when I call you.”

“You’re not exactly free all the time either, Hisame-san. It’s rare to catch you here.”

“Well, sure. I’m a blossoming college girl, after all. Don’t I want to live near my university?”

“Then go bond with some college guys. With your charm, Hisame-san, you’d have them lining up.”

“Sometimes I just want to see your face, Yuki-kun. That’s quite an honor, isn’t it?”

“…Sure.”

I agree for now, since arguing is scary.

Hisame-san’s presence is definitely easy on the eyes, but dealing with her is even more exhausting than Uryu.

For starters, she calls herself a college student, but does she even go to university?

According to Uryu, Hisame-san made a fortune in forex trading and invests as a sponsor in a small-to-medium video production company.

The Aoyagi family runs a major corporate group, but instead of getting involved there, she focuses on another company.

No wonder Uryu says he can’t beat her.

“So, what’d you think?”

“About what?”

“The projection mapping just now. The visuals, the sound—I think it’s pretty polished.”

“Oh…”

Hisame-san waits for my response with an eager grin.

This is her thing: she tests her projects on me, using me as a guinea pig.

Apparently, Uryu used to be her test subject, but for some reason, she switched to me.

The joy on Uryu’s face when that happened is hard to describe.

How much hell did he go through?

But why doesn’t she explain things beforehand?

“Seeing is believing,” sure, but without context, I don’t know what to focus on.

Maybe she doesn’t want to narrow my perspective with info.

If she wants my raw, unfiltered reaction, I’ll give it to her.

But if it’s a scare tactic, warn me first!

Thanks to last time’s trauma, I was dreading this visit.

And, of course, it was horror-themed again.

It’s bad for my heart, so please, just stop.

“It’s a good piece, but commercially, it won’t sell.”

“Figured…”

Hisame-san visibly slumps her shoulders.

What, she knew it too?

“Just to check, this isn’t for home use, right?”

“Obviously. No way a regular household could afford this.”

“For commercial use, maybe a horror attraction at a theme park entrance?”

“What about setting up a booth in a shopping mall to draw crowds?”

“No repeat customers. It’s a one-and-done experience.”

“Of course I thought of that. The content changes based on the walker’s speed.”

“Neat idea, but is it profitable? It can’t run permanently, so as a two-week event, development costs would outweigh the revenue.”

“…What if we sell the content to an owner to operate?”

“Good luck finding an owner that enthusiastic.”

“Ugh, all you’ve done is complain!!”

“Ow, ow!!”

Unable to handle my relentless critique, Hisame-san puts me in a headlock.

It hurts, it hurts—why do both siblings resort to headlocks when things go south?

But amid the pain, I feel the soft pressure of her ample chest against my cheek.

Could this headlock secretly be a reward?

I decide to hold off on tapping out.

“Didn’t you want my feedback?”

“I didn’t expect you to tear into the marketing like this!”

“I can’t just say it’ll sell because the tech’s cool—that’s irresponsible.”

“Fair, but as the developer, I wanted a bit more praise.”

“The visuals and audio are great, but I don’t know if it’ll sell. That’s it.”

“Sigh, same as me. This one’s a bust.”

Releasing me, Hisame-san pulls out her phone and makes a call.

Wait, is she disbanding the dev team?

“Hey, Hisame-san, isn’t that a bit hasty?”

“I told you, I had the same thought. I figured if Yuki-kun’s take was negative, we’d scrap it. No point making something that won’t sell.”

That ruthless pragmatism is why she doesn’t seem like a college student.

She’s never swayed by sentiment and cuts her losses without hesitation.

I don’t know her role in that company, but in a few years, she might be running it.

“Still, talking to you was helpful, Yuki-kun. Uryu wouldn’t cut it.”

“Why not teach him? He’d pick it up fast.”

“He’s useless if he only does what he’s told. I don’t need that in my team.”

Yourei High’s top talent, declared useless.

I can’t even guess what’s in her vision.

“I’d love to tap the Aoyagi Group’s resources, but I don’t want to deal with Dad.”

“You really don’t get along with your dad. As an outsider, that’s hard to imagine.”

“He’s so annoying—‘Don’t mess with shady contractors,’ ‘Join the family business and go to college properly.’ I earned my own money, so I’ll choose my own path. No way I’m riding his rails.”

With a prestigious family company, she doesn’t want to work there but aims to join as a business partner.

I respect Hisame-san’s determination to forge her own way.

“Why not wait until Uryu takes over the Aoyagi Group?”

“That day’s never coming. Aren’t you too soft on him, Yuki-kun?”

“Uh…”

I can’t help but feel bad for Uryu, shot down so mercilessly.

Hisame-san’s expectations are sky-high, but her bluntness feels less like hope and more like a guillotine.

“Why don’t you just join the Aoyagi Group as an executive, Yuki-kun?”

“That’s decades away talk.”

“Ara, I love that you don’t say it’s impossible. That’s so you.”

“If time’s not a factor, there’s nothing I can’t do. But Uryu’s got a better shot.”

“Don’t be silly. There’s an easy way to become an executive.”

“Huh?”

When I ask, Hisame-san raises her right index finger as if it’s obvious.

“If you marry Tsuyu, Yuki-kun. Tie the knot with the president’s daughter, and you’ll climb the ranks in no time.”

“…”

My jaw drops.

This woman just offered up her own sister to secure ties with the Aoyagi Group without a hint of hesitation.

“You’re giving me that ‘she’s saying something awful’ look, aren’t you?”

“…I won’t deny it.”

“Don’t worry. Tsuyu likes you, Yuki-kun. She’s been so excited for today.”

“That’s just her being friendly, not liking me.”

“Details, details. Just marry Tsuyu and help me out.”

“That’s absurd…”

Her usual outrageous, pushy talk.

It’s classic Hisame-san, but for the one getting dragged in, it’s a lot.

I’m ready to change the subject when I hear hurried noises from the second floor.

“Speak of the devil.”

Hisame-san, clearly in on it, crosses her arms and smirks.

Oh, I get it.

She’s been absent this whole time because she was waiting upstairs.

Soon, I hear rapid footsteps descending the stairs.

Reaching the first floor, a girl in a sailor uniform looks at me and gives a shy, delighted smile.

Her beauty rivals her sister’s, with shoulder-length brown hair.

Unlike her sister, her slightly downturned eyes enhance her soft, gentle vibe.

“Hello, Yukiya-san! I’ve been waiting for you!”

Greeting me with a cheerful voice, this girl is none other than Tsuyu, Hisame-san and Uryu’s younger sister, who’s been the topic of conversation—Aoyagi Tsuyu.

Chapter 69: Before I Knew It’

Tsuyu flashed a smile at me first, but then puffed out her cheeks in dissatisfaction when she saw her sister standing next to me.

“Hey, Onee-chan, why didn’t you call me right away?”

“Why? Because you told me not to bother you while you were doing your homework, didn’t you?”

“That’s obviously less important than Yukiya-san!”

“Yes, yes, your Onee-chan was wrong. Anyway, Tsuyu, you got home early but still haven’t changed?”

“Ehehe, I switched to my summer uniform, so I wanted Yukiya-san to see it. What do you think, Yukiya-san?”

With that, Tsuyu spread her arms and did a light twirl on the spot.

Her semi-long hair and skirt, slightly above the knee, fluttered like flower petals.

I stared at her and voiced my thoughts.

“It suits you, but it doesn’t look that different from your winter uniform, does it?”

I’d seen Tsuyu in her winter uniform the first time we met, and aside from the sleeve length, there wasn’t much change visually.

It looks cooler, though.

“You remembered! Yeah, it’s pretty much the same look.”

“Saves on design costs, I guess?”

“Haha, whose perspective is that, Yukiya-san?”

“The CEO’s, of course. Getting to decide girls’ uniforms? That’s the ultimate job.”

“Eh, you’ve got a uniform you want me to wear, Yukiya-san? Just tell me, and I’ll order it and change into it!”

“No, no, you don’t need to go that far.”

“Really? Don’t hold back—just let me know, okay?”

Tsuyu says things that could easily toy with a guy’s heart without a hint of hesitation.

She’s a natural-born bombshell.

If a younger girl let me treat her like a dress-up doll with uniforms, I’d be an irredeemable pervert.

I’m glad she goes to an all-girls middle-high school.

If she were in a co-ed school, she’d have guys wrapped around her finger in a completely different way from Hisame-san—without even realizing it.

“Oh, by the way, where’s Onii-chan?”

Noticing after our exchange, Tsuyu checks on her brother’s whereabouts.

She probably doesn’t realize I came ahead alone.

In truth, Uryu’s waiting outside until I survive Hisame-san’s ordeal.

“Whoops, forgot. Yuki-kun, could you call Uryu in?”

“…Got it.”

It’s not that hot yet, but I feel bad for Uryu, forgotten and left waiting outside.

What a contrast between the brother-loving little sister and her indifferent older sister.

“…Huh?”

I open the darkly coated front door to fetch poor Uryu, but he’s not right there.

He was supposed to be waiting while I got tormented by Hisame-san—what’s going on?

There’s no sign of him in the calming front garden either, so I tell the two and step out through the gate.

Maybe he went to the convenience store, but I find Uryu standing just outside the gate.

—For some reason, with a girl in a school uniform.

“Uh, um! This is sudden, but it’s love at first sight! Would you like to grab some tea together!?”

“Sorry. If I said yes to every offer, it’d never end.”

And right after, Uryu’s getting confessed to by this girl.

Hold up, what the hell happened in the last ten minutes?

Chapter 70: Surprise

“Man, you saved me.”

“Saved you, my ass. How do you even end up in a situation like that?”

I watched for a bit, but since the girl wasn’t backing off, I stepped in as a rescue boat.

Spotting me, Uryu whispered something to her, and she looked stunned before promptly leaving.

What happened to all that energy she had?

“I was watering the flowers out of boredom when I heard someone calling for help from the street. Went out, and that girl was there, asking me to find her dropped contact lens. I thought it was impossible, but I found it quick. The moment she put it in and looked at me, that happened.”

“You stumble into storybook-worthy scenarios like that? I’m floored.”

“Really? Doesn’t everyone have stuff like this happen?”

No way.

Even if I helped a girl in a school uniform, getting a love-at-first-sight confession is straight out of a fairy tale.

If that happened to everyone, the world would be a much more peaceful place.

“By the way, what were you gonna do if I hadn’t shown up?”

“Hmm, worst case, call her a stalker and dial 110.”

That’s harsh.

You’d turn someone who likes you over to the cops just like that?

Then again, for Uryu, dealing with stalkers is probably a daily occurrence.

In a weird way, he might be buddies with the police.

Being a hot guy isn’t all sunshine—quite the lesson.

Back at the Aoyagi house with Uryu, Hisame-san waits with her arms crossed, while Tsuyu stands with her hands clasped at her knees.

“You’re late. Something happen?”

“Uryu got confessed to by a girl, so I had to handle it.”

“Eh, Onii-chan got confessed to on the street?”

Tsuyu’s a bit taken aback by the unexpected news.

I get it—my eyes were practically dots when I saw it.

“Why’re you acting like it’s someone else’s problem? Didn’t you just get a love-at-first-sight confession recently?”

“That was when I was waiting at the station platform—totally different from you, Onii-chan.”

Listening to the siblings bicker, I’m struck by the terrifying Aoyagi DNA.

From their stories, getting confessed to must be an everyday thing.

Not jealous at all.

“Okay, okay, enough of your misery bragging.”

Hisame-san claps her hands, cutting off their argument.

Misery bragging, huh?

For these siblings, getting confessions isn’t even a happy thing.

Maybe they’re so used to it their sense of it is warped.

Denying someone’s feelings outright is just too sad.

“Anyway, Uryu, you told Yuki-kun about the requests, right?”

“Yup, Yukiya prepared in his own way.”

“Ara? Let’s see it then.”

Finally, it’s time to fulfill the requests Uryu told me about yesterday.

I pull something out of the supermarket bag Uryu’s holding and hand it to Hisame-san.

“Six months late, but happy birthday.”

“Ara~ Ara~ wanting to give it even this late? Such a noble spirit~.”

Hisame-san smirks as she looks over what I gave her.

Yeah, right—you were gonna nag me forever if I didn’t.

Of course I’d get noble about it.

“…And these are?”

Hisame-san shifts her gaze to me, a bit skeptical.

No surprise—I handed her plain, undecorated snacks from the convenience store.

But I picked them with her in mind.

“I got snacks for you to enjoy, Hisame-san. Use them as you like.”

I say it with a confident smile.

I bought three things: a candy with one-in-three super sour gums, 99% cacao chocolate, and pop rocks candy that fizzes in your mouth.

I chose these because they’re fun beyond just taste.

The gum’s great for a game of guessing who gets the sour one.

The chocolate’s bitter enough for a penalty game.

Hisame-san would appreciate snacks with entertainment value.

Truth be told, I didn’t have time or money, so I’m hoping she’ll let this slide.

“I see. It’s obviously thrown together, but I’m way happier with this than some overpriced gift. Thanks, Yuki-kun.”

Hisame-san eyes me and the snacks for a bit before thanking me with a happy smile.

Uryu lets out a relieved sigh next to her, and I’m secretly feeling the same.

It’s rude to feel more relieved than happy at her thanks, but not pissing off Hisame-san is my top priority.

She’s the last person you want as an enemy.

“And, Yuki-kun, I believe there was one more request?”

Even though she’s pleased with the snacks, Hisame-san isn’t letting the second request slide.

Her smiling eyes radiate a “You prepared it, right?” pressure.

The second one’s pure guesswork—I didn’t confirm anything with Uryu.

But knowing Hisame-san, there’s meaning to calling me here today.

I snatch the supermarket bag from Uryu.

Then, I set off a party cracker with full force.

—Toward Tsuyu, who’d been watching my exchange with Hisame-san with amusement.

“Tsuyu, happy birthday… Did I get that right?”

I meant to say it boldly, but my nerve falters, and my voice trails off.

If I got this wrong, it’s beyond embarrassing, but I can’t help it.

“Y-Yes, that’s right, but, uh, eh? Did I ever tell you my birthday, Yukiya-san…?”

Tsuyu, who’d been smiling calmly, panics as she tries to process the situation.

Good, good—I got her birthday right.

Then this must be Hisame-san’s request.

I had no clue about the second request, but Hisame-san kept emphasizing birthdays, and Tsuyu was excited for my visit.

So I figured it was “Celebrate Tsuyu’s birthday too.”

Looks like I nailed it.

The surprise was that Tsuyu had no idea I’d be celebrating her birthday.

“Just so you know, neither I nor Uryu told him about Tsuyu’s birthday. He figured it out and acted on his own, this Yuki-kun.”

“Don’t say that! I wouldn’t have thought of it if you hadn’t mentioned the requests, Hisame-san.”

“But you still figured it was Tsuyu’s birthday, right? That’s an act of love.”

“Yeah, yeah, say whatever you want.”

Brushing off Hisame-san’s words, I step in front of Tsuyu.

I hand her a convenience store pack with a shortcake and chocolate cake, along with a spoon.

“It’s cheap, but cut me some slack. I’m still broke.”

My wallet’s been tight since I haven’t gotten any extra cash from Natori Mayoi.

Buying gifts for both of them has left me completely broke.

I was hesitant to give Tsuyu, who’s probably used to fancy cakes, something from a convenience store.

It was all I could think of, but I hoped she’d like it for the sweetness.

“E-Ehehe… Oh no, what do I do? I’m so happy I can’t stop grinning, ehehe…”

As if blowing away my worries, Tsuyu’s face lights up with a huge smile.

It’s so unguarded it’s almost embarrassing for me.

Getting this excited over cheap cake? She’s so easy to please it’s worrying.

“Hey, Uryu, she looks happier than when we celebrated her birthday this morning.”

“Well, the surprise worked, so it makes sense.”

“Really just that~? My adorable Tsuyu isn’t pulling away from her Onee-chan, is she?”

“No way. Hey, Tsuyu, you still love Nee-san right?.”

“Yukiya-san… birthday… present… ehehe…”

“No good, Nee-san. She’s completely in her own world.”

“I lost… My 15 years of love, defeated by some random monk…”

Before I know it, Hisame-san’s on her hands and knees, head bowed.

Her usual dignity’s gone, replaced by pure tragedy.

Uh, I think I heard “random monk,” but that’s not about me, right?