My Popular-as-Hell Best Friend Is Annoying, So I Want to Get Him a Girlfriend and Shut Him Up - Chapter 65 & 66 & 67

Chapter 65: Uryu’s Request

“So, what’s up? You got something for me?”

With newfound resolve and wishes in my heart, I asked Uryu why he came here.

To barge into that unapproachable atmosphere, it must be something important.

“Nah, nah~ I never would’ve guessed Yukiya-kun would stick around this late, so I thought, why not walk home together for once, haha!”

“…”

What’s with this creepily casual tone?

The “-kun” is gross, the polite speech is weird, and that “haha” at the end gave me goosebumps.

If he weren’t a cool guy, the cops would already be on their way.

This is bad—he’s definitely up to something.

“Huh? What’d you say?”

“No way you didn’t hear me. Want me to clean your ears for an hour?”

“Sell me that right for 200 yen. I’ll flip it to some girls for 500.”

“Who’s buying that? Anyway, I said let’s walk home together.”

“Tch.”

I tried to dodge with fake deafness and a business pitch, but he dragged me back to the point.

Also, Uryu, your ear-cleaning voucher would sell out instantly.

Put it on an auction, and it’d fetch 20 times that price—remember that.

“No big deal, right? We’re going the same way. It’d be weirder to walk home separately.”

Uryu’s right—our routes home are exactly the same.

I just get off three stops later, so it’s not unnatural to walk together if the timing works out.

“Come on, let’s go. The school’s closing soon. Oh, want me to treat you to a drink? As thanks for everything~.”

But every nerve in my body is screaming not to let my guard down.

He’s never bought me a drink before, and “thanks for everything”? Never heard that either.

How much more obvious can a red flag get?

Was he always this bad at acting? It’s painfully clear he’s hiding something.

“Alright, spit it out. What’s your aim?”

In the boys’ changing room with Uryu, I cut to the chase as he started changing.

Listening to this amateur-level acting any longer will make me stupid.

“Oho, oh? Getting curious, are we? If you’re that curious, I guess I’ll have to tell you~.”

Seeing his smug grin, like he’d planned this, I belatedly realize my mistake.

Damn it, he was waiting for me to ask.

That’s why he was laying it on so thick—he played me.

“Fine, I could just give you the short version, but it’d be fun to see how long it takes you to figure it out.”

“Stop stalling and talk.”

“Fair enough. Yukiya-kun’s got such a kind heart, he’ll listen to anything, right?”

Uryu kept dragging it out, but after changing into his uniform, he finally seemed ready to explain why he’s acting like a lunatic.

His creepy buildup is annoying, but I just need to stay firm.

If it’s something dumb, I’ll shut it down and bail.

“So, yesterday, the renovation on our house’s entrance was finished.”

For some reason, Uryu starts talking about his family’s home out of nowhere.

If you didn’t dig deeper, it’d just sound like small talk.

—But I figured it out. Or rather, I remembered.

I can’t believe I didn’t consider this possibility until now—it’s almost baffling.

“It started four days ago, but—”

“No way.”

“Whoa, as expected of Yukiya-kun. Already figured it out and shutting it down, huh?”

“Obviously. I’m not going to be your guinea pig every time.”

“I get it, I get it. I used to be in your shoes. That’s why I can’t let you off the hook.”

With that, Uryu leaned in close to my ear.

“Yukiya-kun, you owe me one, don’t you?”

Pulling back, Uryu flashed a smile that could easily charm any girl.

A shiver ran down my spine for all sorts of reasons.

“W-What’re you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb. You’re the one who dragged me on that date a while back, right?”

“…”

“I said it was a favor, didn’t I? No way the great Yukiya-kun would go back on that, right?”

“Guh, grrr…!”

I’m screwed…!

It’s true—for Kirita Akari’s date, as part of my “Uryu Trace Strategy,” I went on a date with this guy.

I remember him saying it was a favor, but since he never brought it up after, I assumed he forgot.

“You’ve been holding onto this the whole time?”

“Of course. I figured it was about time, and then I got a Line message before practice. You being in the gym was perfect—strike while the iron’s hot.”

“…Just curious, was I requested by name?”

“By name, by name. Glad they lost interest in me, haha.”

“Don’t ‘haha’ me, you jerk.”

Knowing I can’t escape, Uryu’s in a great mood, slapping my back cheerfully.

This is bad—I’m not getting out of this.

If I try to run, he’ll use this debt to corner me even worse.

I let out a resigned sigh.

“Alright, alright. Yukiya-kun’s being cooperative, and I’m thrilled.”

“You bastard… exploiting my weakness like that…”

“Hey, hey, I’m not trying to mess with you. It just ends up that way.”

“It’s the same thing if it ends up that way!!”

I slap my forehead and hang my head.

Ugh, I can’t live positively like this.

I just escaped the hellish conversation with Natori Mayoi and Rando-dono—why do I have to walk into another death trap?

Seeing me wallow in despair, Uryu happily continued.

“So, tomorrow after school, skip club and come straight to my place. They’re looking forward to it—my older sister and little sister.”

Chapter 66: The Aoyagi Household

The day after Uryu’s proclamation that I’d be visiting the Aoyagi household, we left school right after classes ended.

At our school, where joining a club is mandatory, you’re supposed to stay on campus until club activities are over.

But since I’m not exactly passionate about my club, sneaking out with the third-years who’ve quit for exam prep is surprisingly easy.

“You sure it’s fine to skip club?”

Still clinging to a faint hope of escape, I probe Uryu.

The basketball team’s star player missing practice has to affect team morale, right?

“No big deal. We lost in the inter-high prelims anyway.”

“What!? You lost!?”

Uryu’s casual admission catches me off guard.

I’d heard that last year, thanks to superstar rookie Uryu, our mediocre school made it to the block’s top four in the inter-high prelims.

To hear they already lost this year makes even me doubt my ears.

“We got matched against a powerhouse that missed the super seed in the second round. Man, their defense was tight. It was close, but we lost by five points.”

“Five points is a solid fight, but they really studied you, huh?”

“Can’t help it—I went too wild last year. Honestly, this is about our team’s usual level.”

“You’re awfully chill about it. Not pissed?”

“Sure, it stings, but dwelling on it won’t help. If I was dead-set on winning, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Fair enough.”

Riding the train with Uryu, we chat as we head home.

Noticing the women’s gazes on him, I’m reminded that his good looks stand out not just at school but in general.

“Wait, does that mean the third-years already retired?”

“Most of them, but some still show up to practice when they feel like moving.”

“Tell them to focus on exam prep instead of club.”

“I’d love to, but fewer members makes things tough, so them showing up actually helps.”

“Alright, then quiz them during practice. If they get it wrong, make ‘em run as punishment.”

“I’d rather just tell them to skip club than do all that.”

Uryu shoots down my suggestion with an exasperated look.

No, no, moving while studying helps you absorb info faster.

For people who ditch studying to show up at club, that’d be the ultimate upperclassman kindness.

As we keep talking, we reach the station closest to Uryu’s house.

From three months ago, I recall it’s about a seven- or eight-minute walk.

I’m starting to feel gloomy.

“Don’t look so down. Compared to last time, this’ll be tame.”

“Let me ask you—do you think your big sister would scale down her antics?”

“…”

“Don’t go quiet!! You’re making me nervous!”

Does this guy even want to reassure me?

His pointless back-and-forth is tanking my mood even more.

“Hold up, let me hit the convenience store first.”

“Hey, you’re not stalling after coming this far, are you?”

“Idiot, you said your sister had two things she wanted, didn’t you?”

“Oh, right, I did.”

Yesterday, on the rare occasion of walking home with Uryu, he told me that if I was coming, I’d need to fulfill his sister Hisame-san’s requests first.

He didn’t specify what they were, leaving me to figure it out and present them—a vague, impossible task.

But I had a guess about one.

Last December, during my third forced Aoyagi house visit, I learned Hisame-san’s birthday was that month.

I didn’t have a gift prepared—obviously, since I’d just found out.

She didn’t get mad, which was fine.

But in March, during my fourth forced visit, I got an earful from Hisame-san for not bringing a birthday gift.

I hadn’t expected her to demand one three months later, so I completely overlooked it.

Thanks to that, I can prepare this time.

I’m not enduring VR-induced nausea again.

The second request, though, I couldn’t pin down.

The only thing Hisame was mad about last time was the gift, and I can’t think of anything else.

She’s not the type to make unreasonable demands, so there’s probably something logical if I think hard enough.

I recall what Uryu said in the boys’ changing room yesterday.

“So, tomorrow after school, skip club and come straight to my place. They’re looking forward to it—my older sister and little sister.”

—Oh, that’s it.

I was so focused on Hisame that I missed it, but Uryu’s words had the hint all along.

I figure out the second request and start preparing.

If I’m wrong, I’ll offer up Uryu as a sacrifice.

He’s not getting away safe while I’m stuck in the danger zone.

“Whoa, you bought a lot.”

“Gotta butter her up, or who knows what she’ll do.”

“…You’re gonna win Nee-san over with this?”

“Absolutely. I’ve met her three times—I know what I’m doing.”

“I’ve lived with her for over 16 years, and I’m this nervous.”

Ignoring Uryu’s muttering, we leave the station’s convenience store and head to the Aoyagi house.

Armed with my purchases, I’ve got nothing to fear.

I’ll stride in with confidence.

Five minutes later, in a quiet residential area, a massive building catches my eye.

It’s got a plot four times the size of the neighboring houses, with a parking area and a stone-block wall in front.

Past the iron gate is a grassy lawn, and beyond that stands a grand mansion, as if declaring itself the local landlord.

No matter how many times I see it, the Aoyagi household is terrifying.

“What’s up, Yukiya? Don’t just stand there—let’s go in.”

Uryu’s voice snaps me out of it, and I follow him as he opens the front iron gate.

My heart’s pounding—I feel like if I’m alone for a second, some hidden security guard will nab me.

I can’t stray from Uryu’s side.

The landscaped garden calms me a bit as we reach the entrance.

Looking at the front door, I swallow hard.

Uryu said yesterday they renovated the entrance.

If Hisame-san’s set something up, it’ll hit the moment we step in—I can’t let my guard down.

“What’s the holdup, Uryu? Not going in?”

I’m tense as hell, but Uryu’s just standing there, fiddling with his phone.

What’s with him all of a sudden?

Then, muttering “I see,” he steps aside to let me go first.

“…What’s this about, Uryu?”

A bad feeling creeps in as I ask, and, as if confirming it, Uryu flashes a refreshing smile.

“From Nee-san: ‘The door’s unlocked, so Yuki-kun should come in alone.’”

It was a merciless death sentence.

Chapter 67: A Grand Welcome

With no other choice, I had to move forward.

Hisame-san’s orders are absolute—Uryu wouldn’t budge an inch.

Apparently, since childhood, his instincts have screamed never to defy his sister.

What kind of family dynamic is that?

I take a deep breath and stand in front of the door.

I’m not Christian, but I make the sign of the cross twice with my right hand.

Somehow, it feels like God might save me.

The moment I touch the door handle, a jolt shoots through my fingertips.

I yank my hand back, my mind spiraling into panic.

“Hey, Uryu! Electricity! I’m under attack by electricity!!”

My momentum shattered, I turn to Uryu, who’s standing behind me with his arms crossed.

“Calm down, Yukiya. It’s just static, right?”

“Like hell it is! How does static happen in this humid season!?”

“You kept wiping your hands, so they got dry.”

“That wouldn’t cause static! Hisame-san must’ve rigged the handle with a stun gun or something! That’s why she made me go first… Is this what sibling bonds are!?”

“That makes no sense, and don’t casually paint my sister as a supervillain. She wouldn’t do that.”

“Come on, Uryu, come with me. I’ll get electrocuted to death like this…!”

“Seriously, chill. You’re starting to sound kinda cute.”

“Cute!? I’m a man!!”

“Right, and a man can pull a door handle alone, yeah?”

“Of course! Watch my heroic figure and burn it into your memory!!”

“Have a good trip~.”

Pissed off by Uryu’s tone, I step back to the door and reach for the handle again.

I wait a moment—nothing happens.

No electricity.

I feel a bit let down.

Haha, what’s that? Piece of cake.

Did they think a little shock would slow me down?

That’s so naive it’ll give me diabetes.

“Look, Uryu, I’m gripping the handle!”

“First time I’ve seen someone so proud of holding a door handle…”

Uryu gives me a pitying look.

He clearly doesn’t grasp the magnitude of my achievement—poor guy.

Now all that’s left is to step inside and face Hisame-san’s traps.

That’s the part I dreaded most, but with this momentum, I might breeze through.

I pull the handle and open the door.

The spacious entrance, big enough for two kids’ rooms, is oddly dark.

The only light comes from the door I’m holding open.

If I close it, the darkness will swallow everything.

Did they change the wallpaper or put up blackout curtains?

The entrance renovation seems real.

I slowly close the door.

If it’s this dark, something’s bound to start once it’s shut.

No choice but to accept it—there’s no escaping Hisame-san.

The door closes.

As expected, darkness engulfs my vision.

No sound reaches me, making it feel like I’m isolated in another world.

What’s going to happen next?

The moment I think that, mournful music starts playing from the ceiling.

The electronic tone sends chills down my spine.

Suddenly, a night mountain road appears before me.

A forest faintly visible in the pitch-black scene, and a tunnel with no end in sight.

The image projects on three sides—front and both walls—making it feel like I’m really there.

Is this… projection mapping?

The sound of footsteps on gravel mixes with the music, and the view gradually fills with the tunnel.

A few seconds later, I’m fully inside.

The music shifts from slow to a fast, anxiety-inducing tempo.

At the same time, a rhythmic drip, drip of water starts.

Is there a leak somewhere in the tunnel?

About ten seconds in, the tunnel flashes yellow and goes dark again.

A single sodium lamp seems to be flickering on and off.

Better than walking in total darkness.

I play along as a pedestrian, waiting for the next flicker.

“Huh?”

That’s when it happens.

In the brief moment of light, I see a figure in white robes with long hair standing ahead.

There was nothing there before, but now something’s definitely there.

The pedestrian stops.

Obviously—who’d keep walking with some unknown thing ahead?

Fully immersed as the pedestrian, I crouch slightly, heightening my guard.

But when the next light flickers, there’s nothing there.

It’s a classic horror trope, but the pedestrian seems reassured and moves forward.

The light flickers a few more times, but the figure doesn’t reappear.

The pedestrian glances back—nothing there either.

No way it just ends with walking through the tunnel, right?

That’s when I notice something.

—The interval between the dripping sounds is shorter.

What was a slow, leaky drip is now louder, more frequent.

No, the sound is definitely getting closer.

The pedestrian stops again.

Straining to pinpoint the sound, a single droplet splashes onto the image.

The pedestrian frantically looks around, and I realize it’s staged as if water hit them.

Another droplet hits the screen.

The pedestrian, hesitantly, looks straight up.

“Gah!!”

Right then, the sodium lamp flashes, and the white-robed figure, clinging to the ceiling, lunges down at the pedestrian.

Its ghastly face zooms in, and I instinctively dodge, stumbling and falling.

The dripping was apparently the figure’s drool.

It lured the pedestrian to the tunnel’s center to devour them.

Orchestral music swells with a crunching bone-like sound, and the projection ends.

“…”

Sitting on the floor, I can’t move.

I don’t believe in the occult, but jump scares like this? I’m terrible with them.

If someone’s good at this, bring them here now.

I was terrified—absolutely freaked out.

The visuals and music were intense, but the moment I looked up and that thing dropped with its face zooming in was too much.

I couldn’t help dodging—it’s proof of how immersive it was.

What do I do? That’s definitely showing up in my nightmares.

Calming down a bit, I think: What the hell was that?

Visiting someone’s house, getting scared by a horror show, and falling on my ass—what is this?

Right then, the entrance lights flicker on.

Still dazed with my hands on the floor, I see a shadow dart out from a door on the left.

A woman with yellowish-brown hair, the same shade as Uryu’s, styled in waves around her face.

With beauty and a figure to rival Kamishiro Haruka, she looks down at me with a satisfied smile.

“Good day, Yuki-kun. As always, you’re delightfully ridiculous.”

This woman, throwing out an absurd greeting from the start, is Aoyagi Hisame—the eldest daughter of the Aoyagi family, whom Uryu claims he can never beat.