My Popular-as-Hell Best Friend Is Annoying, So I Want to Get Him a Girlfriend and Shut Him Up - Chapter 62 & 63 & 64

Chapter 62: A Chance Encounter

When I turned around, there stood Natori Mayoi, holding a badminton racket, dressed in a gym uniform.

Her striking, waist-length blonde hair, usually a bold statement, was tied back like Kamishiro Haruka’s, and her nails seemed neatly trimmed, giving her a calmer vibe.

Completely different from the impression I had of her before, she was now the epitome of a sporty girl standing before me.

“Just running an errand. I’m heading out.”

“An errand? In the gym?”

“Some guy wanted Kamishiro Haruka to teach him basketball, so I brought him here. That’s it.”

I pointed with my thumb at the two practicing passes.

I’m not mentioning anything about his crush—don’t want to get dragged into a mess later.

“Don’t recognize him. Who’s that guy?”

“You’re brutal, forgetting the face of someone from our class last year. Guess that’s proof a class is just a forced, fake community with no real bonds, huh…”

“That line doesn’t come right back at you?”

It doesn’t.

I don’t forget classmates’ faces.

It just… takes me a bit to recall them.

“Whatever, doesn’t matter.”

“Still, you’re like a different person. Didn’t you say clubs were a drag?”

Taking another look at Natori Mayoi, I nod approvingly.

Especially her nape, exposed by her tied-up hair—it’s fantastic.

It’s a spot you don’t usually see, so the way it glistens with sweat is irresistibly alluring.

Nice sweat.

“Your stare’s kinda creepy. Wanna get blasted?”

B-Blasted?

That’s an odd phrase, and I tilt my head.

Then it hits me.

Is this one of Natori Mayoi’s signature greetings, like her “Wanna die?” thing?

It’s so toned down I almost didn’t catch it.

Is this a positive change, or is the comedian in me complaining that it lacks punch?

“Oh, right. Tell Misono she’s an idiot for picking basketball.”

Having thrown out her “blast” greeting, Natori Mayoi suddenly vents about Misono Izumo.

“Was basketball a bad choice?”

“Obviously. Any other sport would’ve been fine, but basketball’s that boob monster’s domain.”

“Boob monster?”

“You know, her.”

Like I did earlier, Natori Mayoi points with her thumb toward the court.

I had a hunch, and sure enough, there’s Kamishiro Haruka practicing bounce passes with Horimoto Shoki.

Hmm, her chest might indeed be bouncing with each pass.

Worth a look.

“You’re one to talk, you’ve also got those boobs.”

“Excuse me? Don’t lump my boobs with that vulgar pair. It’s not just about size—my proportions are perfectly balanced and beautiful.”

“Uh, sure…”

Natori Mayoi, like a switch flipped, places a hand on her chest and starts talking passionately.

What’s with her? Does she have some grand philosophy about boobs?

She’s probably just obsessed with her overall figure, but from my perspective, it looks like she’s fixated on her chest.

To be fair, she’s got reason to be confident—her figure’s great.

According to my boob scouter, she’s got about the same combat power as Kirita Akari.

Also, her legs are subtly long.

She’d probably get scouted as a model in Harajuku—if she didn’t glare daggers at the scouts.

“Did you finally understand? The charm of these beautiful boobs of mine”

“I got it, but don’t keep saying ‘boobs’ so much. What if I get horny?”

“Hah, who cares? You can stew in it till you get home.”

“That’s harsh…”

Natori Mayoi flashes a wicked grin, and I feel a chill.

She’s the type who’d enjoy getting guys all flustered on purpose.

In that sense, she might strike a sexy pose if I ask at the right moment.

I’ll try it when the timing’s good.

“…Oh, right. Didn’t you say you were so into my body you wanted to ravish me?”

“You’ve got some nerve bringing that up.”

Five days ago, I laid into Natori Mayoi for going too far with a younger student.

I said something harsh enough to make even bold Natori Mayoi cry her eyes out, something that could’ve left her traumatized.

But here she is, smirking and teasing me about it like it’s a joke.

What kind of guts does this girl have?

“About that, Have you properly—”

“—reflected. Of course I have.”

Before I could finish, Natori Mayoi cut in.

The smirk had vanished from her face.

“After you chewed me out, I cried like an idiot and realized how awful it feels to be on the receiving end. Thinking back on how I was laughing while doing it made me sick to my stomach. I’m done with that. If it comes to that, I’d rather face things head-on, fair and square.”

Looks like I underestimated Natori Mayoi.

I’d heard from Rando-dono that she apologized, but hearing her say it now makes it clear.

Natori Mayoi genuinely reflected, changed her ways, and decided to move forward.

“So my teasing’s my way of processing it. I’m not making light of it. It lets me remember, and I get to mess with you—two birds, one stone, right?”

“Hey, that makes me the bird, not the stone.”

“Works for me. Your life’s basically getting pelted with stones, isn’t it?”

“What kinda life is that!?”

When I protest, Natori Mayoi laughs cheerfully.

She might face Rando-dono head-on, but she’s always ready to stab me in the back.

Well, that’s fair—I’m the one who started this give-and-take.

I’ll just have to accept it.

If we’re playing by these rules, I can strike back too.

“Anyway, you’d better listen to what I—”

“Hm?”

Natori Mayoi, who’d been rambling, suddenly stops.

She glares past me, her face blatantly annoyed.

Before I can turn to see what’s up—

“Hirose-senpai, hello!”

Another familiar greeting rings in my ears.

Chapter 63: Catfight

The one who called out was Rando-dono, dressed in a gym uniform with a whistle hanging around her neck.

She might’ve come over at a break after finishing her stretches.

“It’s rare—no, this is the first time I’ve seen you in the gym, Senpai.”

“Had some business about the sports festival. It’s done, so I was about to head out.”

“Mufufu, you’re using casual speech.”

“Yeah, I heard you prefer it, so I’m sticking with it.”

“Yes! Keep it up forever!”

Rando-dono responds with a dazzling, sun-bright smile.

Having recovered from the Natori Mayoi incident, she seems even brighter and more energetic than before.

As expected of my admirable underclassman.

“Speaking of rare, Natori-senpai’s here too, right? I’ve been seeing her at the badminton club since yesterday.”

With a picture-perfect smile, Rando-dono tosses the conversation to Natori Mayoi with a slightly sharp tone.

Let me say it again—her expression is adorably beaming.

“Well, duh, I’m in the badminton club, so of course I’m here. You okay in the head?”

Natori Mayoi counters with a never-before-seen, top-tier smile of her own.

I’m getting the feeling their words and expressions don’t match. Is this okay?

“Oh, really? I didn’t know second-year clubs start in June~.”

“Yup, I’m so talented I can catch up even two months late. Glad you learned something today~.”

“Yes! I totally thought you were just eager to show off to Aoyagi-senpai~.”

“What’re you talking about? No way Aoyagi’s checking out the badminton club. You’re quite the romantic, aren’t you, kouhai-chan~?”

“Oh, really~? But when a senpai who’s been gone for two months suddenly shows up, it makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Especially after declaring herself a rival to a certain someone~.”

“Arara~ Are we getting a bit full of ourselves now? I only restarted badminton to work on myself—nothing to do with that~.”

…Oh no, this is bad. Really bad.

A terrifying verbal sparring match is unfolding right in front of me.

What’s going on? Didn’t these two make up?

Why are they trading soft jabs with smiles on their faces?

And what’s this about a rival declaration? There’s way too much new info for me.

Should I just stay quiet and watch? Also, can they not do this with me stuck in the middle?

I try to step back so they can face each other more easily, but Natori Mayoi grabs my left wrist, and Rando-dono grabs my right.

I freeze in terror.

They’re smiling at each other—how did they grab my wrists so precisely?

Then, like robots, both their heads turn toward me.

Their smiles haven’t changed, but I’m sweating buckets.

I’d like to think it’s just the gym’s heat.

“Senpai, were you trying to escape just now?”

“No way, not at all. Must be your imagination.”

“Good. Then stay right here and watch.”

With that, they let go of my wrists and face each other again.

To an outsider, it looks like a wholesome scene of a senpai and kouhai chatting with smiles—a perfect slice of youth.

But if you listen to their words, the tension’s so thick even a sumo grand champion would cut his topknot and run.

What exactly am I supposed to be watching here?

Rando-dono’s scarier than usual, and Natori Mayoi’s oddly casual.

I really don’t want to get involved.

“I think people don’t work on themselves without a reason. Did something happen~?”

“Do I need to tell you? Isn’t it rude to pry like that~?”

“Come on~ I thought a big-hearted senpai like you would share.”

“Sorry~ My heart’s too small to tell you~.”

“Oh, really~? But aren’t you appealing to the wrong person by working on yourself~?”

“Huh~? What’re you talking about~?”

“You went straight to talking to Hirose-senpai the moment you saw him, didn’t you~?”

“Oh my~ You were watching me pretty closely, weren’t you? Slacking off during club time, huh~?”

“That was after club time~ No problem at all, right~?”

“You’re not denying you were watching me~? Got your priorities mixed up, don’t you~?”

“Of course I was watching~ I have to protect my precious senpai before Natori-senpai bullies him~.”

“As if I’d do that~ Now that you know, you can go back, okay~?”

“Eh~ Is there some reason I shouldn’t be here~?”

“If you’re interrupting our conversation, it’d be better if you weren’t~.”

“Got it~ I’ll wait, so go ahead and finish your talk first~.”

“It’ll take another two hours, so why don’t you head home for today~?”

“—Enough already!”

“”OW””

I couldn’t take it anymore and gave both their heads a simultaneous chop.

I’m honestly impressed they can keep smiling while sniping at each other like this.

“You, don’t keep firing back when you’re the senpai. Learn some generosity like me. And Rando-dono, cool it—this sarcastic tone isn’t like you.”

I immediately start lecturing the two as they clutch their heads.

Sigh, how did it come to this?

This is way beyond unexpected.

You could say their ability to argue like this shows they’re close, but making the air this tense isn’t great.

People nearby are getting spooked by the weird vibe and turning around.

Also, why did they start fighting?

Halfway through, it stopped being about Uryu.

“Oi, you (Senpai)!!”

Recovering from my chops, both of them glare at me with teary eyes, their voices perfectly in sync.

They might actually get along pretty well.

“Whose side are you on, huh (Senpai)!?”

I can’t cheer for either of you right now. Sorry.

Chapter 64: Tacit Understanding

After that, the two, having calmed down a bit, told me that during their reconciliation, they declared themselves rivals for Uryu’s affection.

Natori Mayoi threw down the gauntlet, and Rando-dono accepted.

This is excellent news.

Natori Mayoi, starting late, is desperately trying to close the gap with Uryu, while Rando-dono pushes herself even harder.

It’s a cycle—they bring out each other’s best, charging full speed toward winning Uryu.

For me, this is the ideal scenario.

Yet, what unfolded before me was a terrifyingly cheerful verbal rally.

They’re so focused on their rivalry that it devolved into low-level sniping.

If they’ve got time for that, they should be making moves on Uryu instead.

And now, they’re arguing over something even more pointless: “Whose consultation I should hear first.”

“Shorty-chan? You know what order means? I talked to him first, so I get priority, right?”

“That’s not fair, rule-breaking senpai. If it’s about who consulted first, I was earlier. Why don’t you, the newbie, step aside and come back later?”

“You’ve got some nerve calling yourself the veteran just because you consulted a week or two earlier. I can already see you getting called a fossil.”

“Oh, please. If I’m a fossil for being younger than you, then you don’t even exist in this world~.”

“Haha, picking a fight~?”

“Ehehe, you’re the one starting it, senpai~.”

This is hopeless.

No matter how many times I try to fix it, their bickering won’t stop.

The sight of these two smiling while radiating dark auras is definitely not something you’d show to little kids.

It’s just not good for their education.

“So, I’ll listen to both of you properly.”

“Shut up (please), you (Senpai)!”

“Ugh…”

And then there’s my sad treatment.

This isn’t how you treat someone you want to consult to, right?

“In the first place, it’s your fault for not making it clear whose side you’re on.”

“Huuuuh!?”

Natori Mayoi’s ridiculous claim makes me let out a deeply exasperated sigh.

Hey, you two, do you really think I’d be that indecisive?

I said it, didn’t I? I said I’d hear Rando-dono first, right?

And what did you say, Natori? Remember?

“Ugh, what a creepy lolicon. So gross I wanna puke.”

You hurled that baseless, ultimate curse at me, so I kindly offered to hear you out first instead.

And then what?

“In the end, it’s all about the boobs huh… No value in living as a flat-chest… I see…”

What am I supposed to do with that!?

No matter how you look at it, I’m not the bad guy here.

If you’re gonna complain that much, figure it out yourselves!

I tried to wash my hands of it, but there’s still no sign of resolution.

At this rate, waiting for them to sort it out will take until midnight.

I have to get home before dinner, or my dad will worry himself sick—that’s absolutely not allowed.

“I’m first!!”

“No, I’m first!!”

“I’m not giving in!!”

“I won’t lose either!!”

But there’s no way these two are listening to me.

Is being first that important?

I don’t get why they’re so obsessed with it.

I’m hearing both of them anyway, so what does the order matter?

If it were me, I’d pick later—you could even pick up hints from the earlier consultation.

I’m starting to think I’ll have to resort to double chops to shut them up when—

“Uh, sorry to interrupt when you’re busy…”

A guy awkwardly steps between Natori Mayoi and Rando-dono.

Like magic, their argument stops.

As expected of Yangling High’s living legend (or something like that)—perfect timing.

“I’m fine waiting until you’re done, but could I borrow Yukiya for a bit? Got something to talk about with him.”

Aoyagi Uryu, the rumored next captain of the boys’ basketball team, says this with an apologetic look.

Hey, you idiot, why are you being so polite?

If you give them an inch, this fight won’t end.

Just drag me out and escape, or you’re stuck in the gym all night too!

I’m deeply disappointed by Uryu’s spinelessness.

How am I supposed to fix this mess?

“Uh, sure, you can have him, Aoyagi-senpai. We’re heading out anyway.”

“Yeah, we were just chatting in front of him.”

“R-Really?”

Whaaaaaaat!?

What’s with this sudden unity!?

Weren’t you obsessed with being first? What was all that arguing about!?

“See ya later, Senpai!”

“You better listen when I call you.”

And just like that, they actually leave, each starting to pack up to go home.

I’m left behind with Uryu.

“…Sorry, did I mess something up?”

“No, your timing was perfect.”

I’m free from the fear of being stuck here forever, but I’m not satisfied at all.

The fact that Uryu’s arrival solved everything in an instant is driving me up the wall.

“Uryu, apologize to me.”

“That’s sudden. You mad I interrupted?”

“I said your timing was perfect, didn’t I?”

“Then what am I apologizing for?”

“For being born a perfect superhuman.”

“Thanks, Mom and Dad.”

“Apologize to me!!”

Damn it!!

Next time, I’ll smooth-talk those two myself!

But please, don’t come back next time! I’m begging you!!