My Popular-as-Hell Best Friend Is Annoying, So I Want to Get Him a Girlfriend and Shut Him Up - Chapter 4: Freedom of Expression

Chapter 4: Freedom of Expression

“You’re late. Ten minutes late.”

Waiting at the same rooftop landing as yesterday, Kirita Akari finally showed up.

What kind of nerve does she have to keep me waiting? Normally, I’d demand she grovel, but lucky for her, I’m in a good mood. I’ll let it slide with my magnanimous heart.

“Sorry, homeroom dragged on a bit… Wait, are you okay?”

“What?”

“No, it’s just, the bags under your eyes are pretty intense.”

“…Kukuku, only the perceptive would notice, I suppose.”

“I think anyone would notice when you look like a panda.”

“Don’t mess with me. Comparing a ferocious tiger like me to a panda?”

“E-Eek, actually Hirose-kun is more like a cute little hamst—OWOWOW!!”

“Hm? What was that about a ferocious tiger like me?”

“T-Tiger-san! The tragic man from ‘Otoko wa Tsurai yo’! That one!”

Wrong tiger, lady. I’m not going for that old-school rugged charm.

Well, if she gets my gallant spirit, that’s good enough. Let’s handle this calmly.

“Ugh, my cheek hurts…”

“That’s what you get for touching on someone’s delicate physical traits.”

“Those words? I’m throwing them right back at you.”

Huh? I don’t recall doing such a thing though.

“Anyway, I rewrote the letter, so please take a look—”

Kirita Akari held out what looked like a freshly written letter, but I stopped her.

“Hold on. Before that, let me show you my masterpiece.”

“Masterpiece? Also, I’ve been wondering—why do you have a laptop?”

“Hahaha, you finally noticed, huh? Since you’ve spotted it, I’ve got no choice but to explain.”

“You were basically waving it around…”

“No need to get impatient. I’ll boot it up right now.”

I powered on the laptop I brought just for today. Once the home screen loaded, I double-clicked a file.

“Text-based information relies too much on the reader’s imagination, so there’s a chance it won’t convey things accurately. You wouldn’t want your letter’s message to get lost, right?”

“Well, yeah.”

“That’s why I arrived at a solution. A way to convey your feelings through visual information.”

Before diving in, I launched a piece of software from the file.

“This is Nico Nico Dance, or NND for short—a 3DCG creation tool. I used it to bring out your feelings for Uryu to their absolute limit. Man, the sleep I sacrificed for this…”

“…Sorry, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Simply put, instead of words, we’ll convey your feelings through video and voice. That’s clearer, right?”

“…Still not getting it. I’m pretty sure it’s not my fault that I can’t understand it either.”

“My bad, I didn’t explain the voice part. This is Norono Voice, a tool that reads out typed text. Its downside is the lack of emotional inflection, but still.”

“…Something’s off. Are we even on the same wavelength?”

What’s with this girl? She’s muttering questions at the ceiling now. The acoustic tiles might absorb your voice, but they won’t answer, you know.

Oh, I get it—she’s so moved by my sincerity that she’s praying to the heavens. Kirita Akari, you’re not half bad. Fine, I’ll get to the point.

“Looks like I kept you waiting. Behold, the fruit of my labor: Love-Struck Shuri-chan!”

“!?”

The moment the video started, Kirita Akari’s eyes widened to their limit.

And no wonder—there was a character that looked exactly like her, moving on the screen.

『Uryuu-kuuun(→), I’m Shuuri-chaaan(→)』

Shuri-chan lightly bends at the waist, right hand to her mouth in a cute self-introduction.

Perfect. The motion, the texture of the uniform—damn, I hate how talented I am.

Guys get swept away by a girl’s subtle gestures. My idea to use a video? Absolutely genius.

『Uryu-ryu-ryu-ryu-ryu-ryu-ryu-kuuun(→), your smile is so wonderful, Uryu-kuuun(→)』

“See that hip sway and the curve of her chest? You have no idea how long it took to nail this!”

“…”

“But I didn’t give up. If I couldn’t make use of your assets, I wouldn’t be able to face you.”

“Uh, yeah.”

Her response was flat. Weird—could she really not grasp the brilliance of this cutting-edge creation?

…No, that’s not it. She’s so overwhelmed with emotion that she’s speechless. Kukuku, if that’s the case, enjoy the full experience, my blood-and-sweat masterpiece.

『When are you coming to pick me up? I’ll be waiting in the D-cup zone』

After one minute and twenty-two seconds, Shuri-chan poured her heart out with her whole being.

“Shuri-chan… you did so well… You’re such a good girl…”

God, I’m getting teary-eyed. As her creator, her performance was so perfect it’s bringing me to the brink of tears.

Whoops, can’t get too sentimental. Gotta hear the star of the show’s thoughts.

“So, what do you think? Personally, I think this’ll hit Uryu like a truck.”

“No, I’m good.”

Huh? Did I just hear some English-style rejection? Must be my imagination.

“…God, I didn’t know confessing was this hard…”

For some reason, Kirita Akari started muttering to the heavens again. When she finished, she turned to me with a bright smile.

“Thanks for all the help. But really, just passing the letter is enough.”

“What!? You’re saying this video isn’t good enough? Tell me what’s wrong—I’ll fix it right now!”

“No, it’s not about fixing it, more like rethinking the whole approach. If people think I can dance that well, it’s gonna be a problem.”

Damn. She’s right—I got carried away and had Shuri-chan dancing like crazy at the end. A disconnect between the tech and the real person. How did I make such a mistake?

“You’re right, you never said you could dance. If I’d accounted for that…!”

“No, even if you’d fixed that, it’s not like it’d be perfect.”

“How about you learn to dance? Lucky for you, this school has a dance club.”

“Hirose-kun, you really love that video, huh…”

For some reason, Kirita Akari’s giving me this pitiful look. And her tone’s been oddly flat for a while now. Is she trying to mimic Norono Voice or something?

“No, never mind. You can toss that letter, too. It’s not like I’d end up dating him even if I confessed.”

“That’s why I’m giving you advice. This video’s perfectly tailored to handle Uryu—”

“No, that’s not it. I just… I feel this huge wall when I think about having to go this far just to get him to notice me. I can’t do it.”

“…”

As I searched for the right words, Kirita Akari gave me a refreshed smile and bowed her head.

“Sorry for all the trouble I caused. Thank you, I’m okay now.”

Somehow, without realizing it, I’d been dumped by Kirita Akari. What the hell?