My Online Friends Turned Out To Be the Ultra-Beautiful Girls in My Class and They Were Yandere - 31

Chapter 31: The Ugly Side of Us

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【Side: Nonoa Tsurumaki/Misaki Hanado】

I parted ways with him. Once I confirmed that he was gone, I headed toward a nearby restroom. With every single step I took, that dark, wriggling thing inside me persistently made me feel like vomiting.

How long did I spend throwing up? Ten minutes, fifteen minutes—probably something like that. After I finished, I pulled out my phone and placed a call.

“Muu-chan.”

“What is it, Mii-chan?”

“Is it okay if I head over to your house now?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I was just about to call you. Haru-chan and Rin-chan are here, too.”

“Thank you. I’ll head over there now, then.”

I tucked my phone into my pocket and started walking toward Muu-chan’s… Muna-san’s house. How did things end up like this? I knew everything. It was my fault. It was mine—it was our fault. Not a single thing I told him today was a lie. We were being threatened, and we couldn’t get close to him. I still remembered it. Even though I never, ever wanted to remember it again.

These messy, disgusting emotions. I wanted to help him. I didn’t want him to suffer. I wanted to repay him. I wanted to be by his side. It felt good. I was being useful. I wanted to hear more… It was truly, truly a twisted love, so nauseating it made me sick.

Why didn’t we support him outside of school? That was simple. Because I was afraid of being rejected by him. Even though that was nothing more than my own selfishness. I hated it. I hated myself. I hated Rin-san. I hated Muna-san. I hated Haruna-san. I loved Haa-chan.

Everyone, everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone should just die. The pieces of trash who framed Haa-chan, and us, who could do nothing but watch Haa-chan for our own selfish reasons. Every single one of us should just die. I wondered what kind of face I was making right now. I wondered what kind of feelings I was carrying.

“Muu-chan. It’s Mii.”

“The door is unlocked. Come on in.”

Before I realized it, Muna-san’s house was right in front of me. It was as if I had teleported. I had to put on a front again today. I had to hide it. For the sake of everyone I loved and hated. For my own sake.

“Misaki. Thank you for going and listening to all that. I’m sorry, it must have been painful, right?”

“No, Mii is okay. More than anything, I’m glad I could be of use to everyone.”

“…It’s scary.”

Haruna-san, who had been crouching alone, finally spoke. Her face was bright red and terribly swollen from tears. I could tell just how much she had been crying. She was the most delicate one among us. I knew it would turn out like this.

“It can’t be helped, Haru-chan. It’s our fault. We got what we deserved.”

Right now, there wasn’t a single person in this room with light in their eyes. Everyone expressed a powerful loathing for themselves and everyone else with those lifeless eyes.

“I wonder why I was satisfied with just that much.”

“Muna-chan, could you get me the box cutter?”

“Sorry, Haru-chan. I used it while you were in the bathroom earlier and the blade got nicked.”

“I see. Are there any spare blades?”

“None. I’ll go buy some next time.”

We found ourselves so disgusting and ugly that we couldn’t stand it. The reason we had been watching him all this time was a simple story. We were satisfied. Satisfied with hearing about him over the internet.

The old him was extremely shy, and he would tell us almost nothing about what he thought of us. But, to us—the people he didn’t know—he would tell us everything. What he thought of us. What was painful for him. How much he had come to depend on us. I heard it all. That was why I tried to talk to him properly.

Then, that piece of trash Tanaka appeared. That guy was “in love.” With me, with Muna-san, and with Haruna-san. I suppose Haa-chan was in his way. So he tore him away. That evening, I tried to go talk to him. But again, that trash got in the way, and I couldn’t refuse him. Because that guy… he used Haa-chan as a hostage to threaten us.

The rumors about Haa-chan currently flooding the school—that he raised his hand against people to force them to stay by him, that he threatened someone into becoming his girlfriend, that he beat up male students—it was all the opposite. Those were things that trash had done.

That guy said this to us: 『Is it really okay to do something to me? It’ll only result in Kamitsuru being backed further into a corner.』

I thought about killing him. I even brought a kitchen knife once. Rin-san stopped me.

“What if, you know. What if Haa-kun really rejects us? What will we do?”

“What are you saying, Haruna? Is there even an option other than suicide? Oh, no, that’s not right. Let’s kill that trash… and then we can all commit suicide together.”

“That sounds good.”

I didn’t want to think about tomorrow. The more I thought about it, the more nauseated I became. But we had to think about it. Because it was our sin.

“Is that okay? Rin-chan.”

“I won’t say I’m uninvolved. If I had that kind of nerve, I would have slit my own throat long ago. Because I’m the same as you. I knew, yet I did nothing.”

“It’s my fault. It’s mine, mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine…”

We were uglier than anything else in this world. We held selfish, contradictory emotions that were so sickening they induced vomiting. Whose fault was it? It was our fault. We were all nothing but trash who would be better off dead. I thought about it over and over. If only I could have died back then. If only I had been stronger.

“Anyway. Let’s talk tomorrow. Everything, every single thing. Regardless, we can’t keep doing nothing.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Once this is over, let’s kill that trash. Right after the tests or something.”

“Yes, let’s do that. Haru-chan, are you okay?”

“I’m… okay.”

We are such ugly creatures.

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