My Online Friends Turned Out To Be the Ultra-Beautiful Girls in My Class and They Were Yandere - 32-33

Chapter 32: Discussion, and Then

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【Side: Hara Kamitsuru】

Before I knew it, it was the next morning. I didn’t even understand what had happened myself. I got into bed. And then I thought about the discussion. Before I knew it, it was morning. Naturally, no one was there. Not Muna, not Haruna, not Rin-nee. No one was there. Well, of course.

“…It’s a little lonely.”

I found myself muttering that. Suddenly, the morning felt quiet. Somehow, I couldn’t settle down. It was strange. Right then, the doorbell rang. Ding-dong.

“Yes, this is Kamitsuru.”

“Heyyy Haracchi, you good? Let’s go together!”

When I looked at the monitor, Nonoa was there. 

I don’t remember telling her where I live though? What’s this? Did she hear it from Muna and the others?

“Nonoa? How do you know where I live?”

“I heard it from Misaki. Anyway, let’s go already.”

So she heard it from Misaki, huh. Somehow, that felt complicated. Because I knew the one in front of me was Misaki. Still, it might have helped. It didn’t change the awkwardness though.

…Why was Misaki putting on an act like this? Wasn’t it painful for her? No matter what I thought, my anger, my hatred, wouldn’t disappear. She should have known that.

“You’re having a discussion today, right?”

“Yeah. I got the courage from you, Nonoa.”

“That’s a nice thing to say!”

We arrived at school. That too felt like it happened in an instant.

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After school. Because I had been thinking about so many things the whole time, none of today’s classes stayed in my head. It felt like I had been asleep, like my consciousness was gone. By the time I realized it, the sun was already starting to set. Only a few people and I remained in the classroom.

Muna and the others were probably already behind the school building. I had to get going too. I stood up and headed toward the back of the school. My legs felt heavy. Like chains were wrapped around them, they suddenly grew heavier. Even so, I kept moving them, walking step by step. There was one thing I realized.

“…We’ve been waiting, Hakkun.”

“Muna, Haruna, Rin-nee, and… Misaki. Sorry for making you wait.”

The eyes that had been purple when she was Nonoa were now shining jade. So those were colored contacts. Come to think of it, in the photo too… yeah, they were jade-colored.

“So you noticed, Haa-chan.”

“I noticed when we were at the karaoke. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I just happened to hear you talking.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to deceive you.”

“You don’t have to worry about it. It’s true that I got the courage to have this discussion today because of you.”

The atmosphere suddenly grew heavy. The wind, the swaying trees, the voices from club activities, everything, all of it, felt disgusting.

“And Haruna, Rin. You even came all the way to the infirmary, but I pushed you away. I’m sorry. I didn’t actually intend to act like that.”

“Why are you the one apologizing? I’m the one at fault. Please, don’t apologize.”

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t mind. But you shouldn’t worry about it either.”

Finally, the discussion began.

“I think you’ve already heard everything from Misaki. I remembered… what happened before I jumped. The anger I felt toward all of you.”

“…Yeah.”

“Can I ask? Why didn’t you help me back then? Tell me honestly.”

Right now, I didn’t feel angry. It was just a simple question. So I asked in a gentle voice, so I wouldn’t scare them unnecessarily. After a moment of silence, Muna spoke.

“No matter what I say, it’ll just sound like an excuse. Will you forgive us?”

“Do you think I will?”

“Yeah… I figured. Um… there are a lot of reasons, but first. We were being threatened.”

According to Muna, Tanaka and… one of his associates, a girl named Urara Matsumae, had been threatening them. Matsumae was the administrator of the school’s underground rumor site, basically the source of those rumors, and this was the threat:

『If you go near him, I’ll keep spreading rumors, making him the abuser and you girls the victims.』

“Huh? What is that? Are you kidding me?”

“And Matsumae was bribing the school too, so they were in on it. It felt like we were being watched the whole time at school. We couldn’t talk to you. I’m sorry.”

That made sense. My irritation didn’t go away, it actually got worse, but I decided not to dwell on that part. If anything, my anger was toward that Matsumae girl. Muna and the others were victims too.

“Outside of school… no, that’s not it. I just didn’t go out much.”

“The second reason. It’s a stupid one, but it’s because it hurt to look at you.”

“Huh?”

Haruna said it. The second reason. It hurt to look at me. Apparently, Matsumae liked seeing me completely broken. They thought showing that side would only encourage her. And more than anything, they couldn’t stand seeing the look in my eyes, like I had given up on everything.

“…That’s just selfishness.”

“Yeah. I know.”

The third reason was tied to that. They were happy talking with me online, where I seemed cheerful. Honestly, it was a ridiculous reason. Everything except the first was just selfishness. So that was why I was abandoned?

“I see.”

“Hakkun…”

“You’re the worst.”

Even I was surprised at how low my voice sounded. What kind of face was I making right now?

“None of you actually expect me to forgive you, do you?”

I could tell just by looking at their faces. I was not some psychic. But somehow, I knew. Their expressions were filled completely with self-loathing. I heard a strange hallucinated voice.

『Don’t forgive me. Push me away.』

“Yes, that’s right. We understand better than anyone how awful, selfish, and disgusting we are. There’s no way we could hope for forgiveness.”

“Haa-chan. If you’re going to reject us, then say it clearly. Just saying ‘Don’t get involved with me anymore’ is enough.”

There was one thing I realized.

“Muna. Haruna. Misaki… I’ll probably never forgive you. I’ll hate you forever, and I’ll never be able to forgive you.”

“…Yeah.”

“But I don’t want to pretend the whole past never happened. I haven’t remembered everything yet, but even so, to me, all of you are irreplaceable friends.”

“Eh…”

I was twisted. I had depended on them to the extreme too. I was pushed away, abandoned… I even attempted suicide.

I can’t forgive them. I hate them. I really hate them. I resent them. This anger will probably never disappear. But even so… I’m deeply dependent on them.

As my old feelings slowly came back, I understood it clearly.

No matter how rotten they are, no matter how awful they are… I can’t imagine a life without them.

“So, until I remember everything. Until then, let’s keep things as they are. After that, the me at that time will decide what to do next.”

“Is that… really okay? Hakkun. Can I… still be with you?”

“For now, yeah. I get it. I’m just as disgusting and selfish as you are. We’re the same kind of people, so I understand. But don’t get the wrong idea. I haven’t forgiven you. I hate you. I really hate you.”

Seriously, you’re disgusting. You’re just heading for hell. I know I’m going to keep carrying this anger that won’t disappear.

“But still. You stayed by my side just now, didn’t you? It was right after I remembered everything, so it came out like that, but I was happy that you came to check on me. If no one had come, I probably would’ve tried to kill myself again. Anyway, that’s it. Sorry for dragging this out. Let’s go home.”

“Hakkun. Did I even need to be here?”

“Rin-nee… well, you just wanted to apologize. But it really helped that you were here. Thanks.”

I don’t know whether this decision is right or wrong. Or rather, I don’t really care. If there’s one thing I can say, it’s that I’m probably wrong. I’m probably just a twisted person.

…Dependence really is a scary thing.

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Chapter 33: Bad End

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【Side: Hara Kamitsuru】

“By the way. Rin-nee, you knew about this too, didn’t you?”

“……Yes. I think I understand what you’re trying to say. I was looking for ways to take action. I thought it wouldn’t be right for me, as a graduate, to get too involved, you see. Though it turns out it was all meaningless, and the best answer would have been simply staying by your side. I’m sorry, Hakkun. I couldn’t even manage to keep you all connected.”

“If I said I didn’t care, I’d be lying, and I am a little angry with you too, Rin-nee. But don’t worry about it so much. I mean, I should have just asked for help myself.”

On the way back, the thought occurred to me, so I decided to ask Rin-nee. Rin-nee was the same as the others in that she knew about my situation. However, she truly hadn’t interfered at all. That was true. Well then, wouldn’t that count as a legitimate reason for what happened in the nurse’s office?

Rin-nee’s grip on my hand tightened. Then, with a trembling voice and tears falling, she asked me in a soft voice that sounded as if it might fade away.

“Hakkun… Hakkun, why are you… why are you being so kind to us?”

Whoa, whoa? Wait a second? Uh oh, did I do something bad? Why is the “real” Rin-nee coming out right now!? Oh, this is bad, this is bad!

“I don’t intend to be kind. To be honest, I’m incredibly angry. I’m at the point where I could push you all away right this second. It’s just… I ended up remembering a lot of things, I guess. I just can’t imagine my days without everyone in them.”

“Hakkun…… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry.”

It had the opposite effect. I ended up dealing an extra blow to Rin-nee. 

Doesn’t she seem even heavier than before!? Why!?

It was while I was trying to soothe Rin-nee like that. A screeching sound of a car sliding reached my ears. Shortly after, I saw a car clearly heading straight toward Muna and the others.

This is bad, at this rate a crash is certain. Everyone’s going to die without exception! What are you going to do, Hara Kamitsuru!!

“Mu-Muna!!”

“Eh, Haa-kun!?”

Before I could even think, my body was moving. I shoved Muna and the others out of the way, and I collided with the car. Naturally, I was sent flying. I didn’t feel any pain.

However, I couldn’t even open my eyes. Voices… I could hear them.

“Hakkun!? Hakkun!”

“Haa-kun!”

The last things I heard were the screams of Muna and the others. Every one of them was screaming my name until their voices went hoarse and dry. Eventually, gradually, I couldn’t hear anything anymore. The sensation of the ground, the warmth of the hands that were there just a moment ago. Everything was growing distant. I didn’t even need to realize it.

Am I going to die? Truly, what a shitty life through and through. If I had to die, at least I wish I could have been alone. Well, I guess it’s fine. At least I managed to escape from hell. I’m satisfied with just that.

…Afterward. As expected, I died. Shortly after that, the four of them committed suicide as well. And so this story comes to an end, a bad end. That’s all, folks.

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“……”

That was incredible. I just had an absolutely disgusting dream. I had a total piece-of-shit dream. 

Ugh, I feel sick. Seriously, a nightmare on the very day I’m supposed to die? Give me a break.

“Alright then, let’s go. Time to jump.”

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