My Mental Choices Are Completely Interfering with My School Romantic Comedy - Volume 2 Chapter 1.3:

Volume 2 Chapter 1.3:

The next day, during the second-year Class 1’s long homeroom session—

“Alright, if anyone has any ideas, please raise your hand!”

The class rep (a beautiful girl with glasses) projected her voice across the room.

Today’s discussion was about deciding on the class’s performance for the New Student Welcome Party happening at the end of May.

The timing felt a bit late for a welcome event, but apparently, the goal of this tradition was also to strengthen class unity once everyone had settled into their new relationships and roles.

These days, people complain that young folks have lost their passion for things, so I expected a general lack of enthusiasm, but—

“Ooh! I wanna dance!”

“What about a play? Sounds fun, right?”

“Nah, if we’re acting, let’s do a comedy skit!”

“Takoyaki stand!”

“Dude, that’s impossible for a stage performance…”

Our class, 2-1, was shockingly lively.

Actually, it wasn’t just our class—Seikou Academy students in general loved festival-like events. The school had a ton of these throughout the year.

“Okay then, Yukihira-san, do you have anything you’d like to do?”

Once the initial flood of ideas settled, the class rep turned to Furano Yukihira for her opinion.

After a brief pause, Yukihira, still expressionless, coolly replied—

“How about… a choral performance?”

…A choir? That was surprisingly normal for Yukihira.

“Oh, singing together sounds fun!”

“Singing? What are you talking about?”

“Huh? But Yukihira-san, you just said ‘choral performance’…”

“Ah, I see the misunderstanding. Allow me to clarify.”

Yukihira placed her hands together in front of her, palms pressed tightly.

“Yukihira-san… that’s…?”

“Let’s practice… Gasshou (合掌).”

…Yeah, and?

“The real twist here is that it’s a spot-the-difference game. Everyone on stage will be passionately clasping their hands in prayer, except for one unbeliever whose palms are actually just stuck together with glue! The audience will have to figure out who it is!”

…Too groundbreaking for anyone to follow.

“The title of the event shall be… ‘Find Norisuke’!”

“That’s stupid.”

“Oh, but Norisuke himself shouldn’t be saying that, should he?”

“I’M Norisuke now?!?”

“Ahaha… Well, I’ll write it down for now.”

Despite her clear bewilderment, the class rep went ahead and scribbled “Find Norisuke” on the board.

She was the type who was kind to everyone, even when dealing with nonsense like this.

Her glasses were slightly old-fashioned, which limited her status to “classroom beauty” rather than a full-on school-wide contender. However, rumors said that if she switched to contacts, she could easily make it to the top rankings.

“Ooh! Ooh! Me, me!”

From behind me, Yuuouji shot her hand into the air with boundless energy.

“Yes, Yuuouji-san?”

“Uhm you see, if we use this invention I’m working on, we can make something super fun happen!”

With absolute confidence, she held up a pair of glasses.

“If everyone in our class wears swimsuits on stage, and the audience puts these on, then—”

“Uh-huh, and then what happens?”

“They’ll be able to see… internal organs!”

…Excuse me?

“S-sorry, Yuuouji-san, I don’t think I heard that right. Could you repeat that?”

“Oh! These glasses let you see just a person’s internal organs!”

…I heard her just fine, but I still didn’t get it.

“You see, they use a top-secret technology that hasn’t been released yet! When someone applies a special gel to their skin, that part becomes transparent, and their insides become visible!”

“That’s way too grotesque!”

I couldn’t help but shout back.

“I personally recommend the heart! Oh, but you know, the liver is surprisingly beautiful too.”

“NOBODY ASKED!”

“Since the girls’ swimsuits wouldn’t show much skin, they could just apply the gel to their foreheads and expose their brains instead!”

“That’s not even just pointless, that’s insane!”

“Class rep, let’s go with the title 『Organs Exhibition Miyabi』!”

“Why are you making it sound elegant?!”

“O-Okay, got it.”

—No, you don’t have to write that down, class rep…

“Yes!”

“Oh, Chocolat-chan, go ahead!”

Wait, for real? You actually have a suggestion?

“I think it would be fun if all the boys wore swimsuits and wrestled!”

…Absolutely not. Do not force your questionable personal interests onto others.

“What does everyone think?”

Chocolat, her fluffy tail wagging enthusiastically, looked over at the boys with sparkling eyes. No, no, nothing’s happening. Who in their right mind would—

“W-Well, what should we do?”

“If Chocolat-chan says so, I guess I could do it…”

“If it’s a request from Chocolat-chan, there’s no way we can refuse!”

“Honestly… I’ve never been against that kind of thing.”

“No, everyone, what the hell?! And who even said that last part!?”

…Seriously, how is Chocolat this popular?

“Thanks for your suggestion, Chocolat-chan~!”

—No, class rep, just reject it! Don’t write it down!

…Wait, why are you putting 『Uhoh! Wrestling』 on the board?!

You were hesitant with Yukihira and Yuuouji’s ideas, but now you’re just casually rolling with this? Are you into it too?!

Now we had:

Dance

Theater

“Find Norisuke”

“Organs Exhibition Miyabi”

“Uhoh! Wrestling”

Those last three were standing out way too much.

“Uh, Amakusa-kun, do you have any suggestions?”

Class rep, I appreciate you trying to move on, but why do you look so scared asking me?

“Hmm…”

Honestly, as long as everyone had fun, I didn’t really care what we did. I was about to give a safe, neutral answer when—

“Tch. Outta my way.”

The classroom door suddenly swung open.

“Oh, you guys were discussing the welcome party? Perfect timing.”

The guy who strolled in with his hands in his pockets took one glance at the blackboard and smirked slightly.

“No way…”

“Is that…?”

“S-Shishimori-sama!”

Gasps filled the room.

Standing by the teacher’s desk, surveying us like he was evaluating our worth, was Shishimori Souga-senpai.

The student council vice president and undisputed number-one ranked guy in the entire school.

Or to put it in simpler terms—Seikou Academy’s most popular man.

His piercing gaze wasn’t quite like a lion’s. If anything, he had the air of a solitary wolf.

“H-He’s even more intense in person!”

“I’ve never seen him up close before…”

“Even his waistline is slimmer than mine!”

All the girls were staring, some even blushing dreamily.

I had to admit—even as a guy, I could objectively call him cool.

He gave off a rugged, wild aura, but there was an unmistakable charisma and presence to it. Not just roughness, but a refined edge, a stylish sort of toughness.

His dress shirt was unbuttoned at the top, giving him a relaxed, almost delinquent look. At first glance, you’d never think he held the title of student council vice president. Then again, that contrast was probably part of his charm.

…But this guy—he confessed to me yesterday.

Well, it wasn’t really his fault. It was just another one of those damn Absolute Choices messing with my life. Still, I’d rather not remember it. Not like he has any recollection of it, thanks to the usual weird rules of this whole thing… and more importantly, for the sake of my own mental well-being.

“Hmph… I see.”

After scanning the classroom, Shishimori-senpai lazily shifted his gaze to Utage-sensei, who was lounging around as usual.

“Oi, Ane-go. Mind if I borrow some time?” (T/N: Kinda like Bro, but for a woman. Also it has a sense of respect to it too.)

At his words, Utage-sensei narrowed her sharp eyes and glared at him.

“How many times do I have to tell you, bastard? Don’t call me ‘Ane-go,’ or I’ll strangle you.”

…What the hell is up with these two?

And Utage-sensei, please. You’re a teacher. Maybe avoid throwing around words like strangling in front of an entire class?

Apparently, back in the day, she was known as “Utage the Strangler.” By who, and where?!—I had so many questions, but none of them made that title sound any less concerning.

As I was contemplating my very normal and justified concerns, Shishimori-senpai casually walked over to me, hands still stuffed in his pockets.

“You’re Amakusa Kanade, right?”

“Eh? Oh, yeah, that’s me…”

…Why is he glowering at me?

“Do you have any idea how many complaints the student council has received over the past year because of you?”

…Ah. So that’s what this is about.

“…I’m sorry.”

A flood of unpleasant memories came rushing back. Back when I wasn’t used to Absolute Choices, I’d caused even more chaos than I do now…

“Well, the really serious ones, I just threatened the chairman into covering them up.”

That’s… helpful, I guess? But also—Utage-sensei, who are you?! And why would you admit that here?!

“Hmph. You should be grateful to Ane-go.”

“I told you to cut that out, you little shit!”

While their dangerously Yakuza-esque exchange continued, Yuuouji suddenly raised her voice.

“Ah! It’s the handsome lion-senpai!”

“L-Lion…?”

This girl—she doesn’t hold back regardless of who she’s talking to.

Before I could even think about stopping her, Yukihira smoothly stepped in.

“I’d like to see it just once~ A woman’s secret stash, hidden away like a lion. …I’m Furano.”

…Why are you channeling Utamaru-san’s comedy skits?!

And what do hidden savings and lions even have in common?! That wasn’t a pun—it was just random nonsense!

“Yuuouji Ouka and Yukihira Furano… huh.”

Faced with two members of the “Reject Five,” even Shishimori-senpai looked slightly taken aback.

“Oh? You didn’t like that one?” Yuuouji tilted her head. “Then how about… ‘Ikemen + Lion = Ikeon-senpai!’”

It was probably meant to be a shortened version of “Ikemen Lion,” but Ikeon was an absolutely terrible name. No creativity whatsoever—elementary school level at best.

“Oh my, that actually sounds kind of nice. If you write it in hiragana, like 『いけおん！』 it kinda gives off big-hit vibes, don’t you think? Senpai, would you mind grabbing some castanets and saying 『Untan♪』 for us?”

“LIKE HELL HE WOULD!”

I ended up shouting out in his place. No matter how ridiculously handsome a guy is, there are some things men just shouldn’t do.

“…Oi, Amakusa. What the hell is up with your friends?”

For some reason, I was glared at again. …They’re not my friends, okay?

“Are they always like this?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“And you always have to deal with them?”

“Yeah, most of the time.”

“…Man, that’s rough.”

A kindred spirit. Finally, someone understands.

“Y-Yes, exactly, Senpai! The only weird ones here are these two! I’m just a completely normal person!”

Before I knew it, I had gripped Shishimori-senpai’s hand firmly in mine.

“Oyah, are we in the way, perhaps?”

“Indeed, Yuuouji-san. We shouldn’t interfere any further. Let’s leave the rest to these two young ones and quietly withdraw.”

“WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS SOUND LIKE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE?!”

“E-Eternal Archive Edition!”

“STAY OUT OF THIS, YOU TOO!”

“T-These guys…”

Shishimori-senpai let out an exhausted sigh, looking both exasperated and drained by the antics of Yuuouji, Yukihira, and the plus-one (whatever the hell that meant). I completely understood that feeling.

“Anyway, Senpai… What did you come here for?”

There was no way he’d gone out of his way just to check out the “Reject Five.”

“Tch. You lot were screwing around so much I didn’t even get the chance to say it. Whatever, the reason I came here today is—”

Before he could finish, the classroom door silently swung open.

“Perhaps… I should be the one to explain that~?”

A woman glided into the room without a sound.

“──!”

Almost everyone, regardless of gender, instinctively held their breath and stiffened.

Her tranquil yet regal smile.

Her flawless, almost unnatural facial features.

Her perfectly sculpted bodyline.

The Student Council President.

A woman who had reigned supreme at the top of the female rankings for three years in a row.

The Empress of the student body—Kokubyakuin Seira.

“My apologies for being late, Shishimori-san~”

Her tone was leisurely, yet possessed an inexplicable commanding force that gripped the hearts of all who heard it.

“Tch, seriously though… This whole thing should’ve been left to the event committee. Why the hell did we have to personally come down here?”

“Because… doesn’t it sound interesting?”

“Tch… Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.”

“Yeees~”

There was one more notable feature about Kokubyakuin-kaichou’s appearance. (T/N: Kaichou -> President.)

Her absurdly long hair.

Yuuouji and Chocolat both had waist-length hair, but the president was on a completely different level.

If she so much as tilted her head back slightly, her hair would brush against the floor. It was grown to the absolute limit of what was physically possible.

“Douraku-sensei~, I apologize for causing such a disturbance.”

Even in the simple act of bowing to Utage-sensei, every movement of hers was graceful and refined.

“Don’t worry about it. My class is always noisy as hell anyway.”

…Was that really the issue here?

“Everyone in Class 2-1, I’m sorry for the interruption as well~. Our purpose here today is to invite Kanade Amakusa-san, Ouka Yuuouji-san, and Furano Yukihira-san to participate in the Taikousen.”

“…Taikousen?”

I tilted my head in confusion, and Shishimori-senpai stepped in to explain.

“Same thing as last year’s welcome party finale. Five mixed-gender participants from the official rankings and five from the “Reject Five” face off one-on-one on stage.”

Ah… that.

Events like “Belt Whipping Battle” and “Scalding Hot Water Endurance Match”—completely ridiculous, as if they were straight out of a variety show.

I distinctly remembered sitting in the audience watching the Reject Five go completely wild, wondering, “Who the hell are these lunatics?”

…Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I’d one day be one of them.

And now, they wanted me to participate?

Absolutely not. That was just a one-way ticket to public humiliation.

“By the way, the official ranking team has already been selected by lottery.”

“Oh, and both Shishimori-san and I were chosen as well, so we’ll be participating~.”

A wave of murmurs spread through the classroom.

Both first-place ranked students—the top male and female—competing in a large-scale event like this? That would definitely make things interesting.

…If I were just watching.

“Uh, I think I’ll pass—”

“Alright, then! Let’s proceed with the lottery~.”

Before I could even finish my sentence, Kokubyakuin-kaichou cut me off and pulled out a mystical-looking box and sticks—the kind fortune-tellers use.

“Now, please draw one~. If you get a winning stick, you’re officially in~!”

She held it out to us with a cheerful smile.

I absolutely despised this situation, but… something about the atmosphere made it impossible to refuse.

I had no choice but to draw.

“Jaka jaka jaka jaka… hai!”

“In my dictionary, the word ‘losing’ does not exist.”

“…Please let it be a miss.”

All three of us pulled out sticks with bright red tips.

“Oh my~! Looks like you all got lucky!”

No, no, NO!

If you exclude the graduated members, there are nine remaining members of the “Reject Five”—four boys and five girls.

For all three of us to draw winning sticks at the same time… the probability of that happening is—

“Fufu, what a lovely coincidence~.”

“P-President… don’t you think something’s fishy about this result?”

“My, my, Amakusa-san. It’s rather unbecoming of a gentleman to complain once a decision has been made~.”

Kaichou gave me a playful wink.

The male students’ faces melted into idiotic grins.

Honestly, I couldn’t blame them.

Seira Kokubyakuin was a perfect storm—an untouchable charisma, with a flawless appearance, and a mischievous charm that made her impossibly captivating.

She embodied what it meant to be ranked number one.

But for some reason…

I felt nothing for her.

Objectively speaking, I fully understood that she was perfect.

But that wasn’t the issue.

I couldn’t quite explain it, but… I just couldn’t trust her.

“Now, allow me to reveal the truth~.”

“You see, the other ‘Reject Five’ members already finished their lottery draws. Except for one person, they all drew white sticks.”

“So, by the time it was your turn, Amakusa-san… all the remaining sticks were guaranteed wins~.”

“W-Wait… so the sticks we drew…?”

“Yes, they were all red~.”

What the hell…

This wasn’t a fair draw.

Normally, wouldn’t you gather everyone together and draw at the same time?

I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was completely rigged.

“What’s wrong, Amakusa-san? You don’t seem very enthusiastic~. Do you really want to decline?”

“W-Wait… we can decline?”

“Nope~!”

“Then why did you even ask!?”

“Yuuouji-san, Yukihira-san, is this alright with you two~?”

“Of course! Sounds fun—I’m totally in!”

“At last… the time has come to unleash my power before the entire student body.”

…Can I just borrow a fraction of their unbreakable confidence?

“Oh, and one more thing~.”

“Out of the five selected participants, one spot is a special slot, which you all will decide later.”

“As for the remaining member who also pulled a red stick—it’s third-year Yumeshima Karasu-san.”

The entire classroom erupted in gasps.

Yumeshima Karasu-senpai was infamous—one of the most eccentric members of the “Reject Five.”

This lineup gave me nothing but anxiety about what lay ahead…

Well, to be fair, it’s not like there’s anyone in the “Reject Five” who could actually put me at ease.

“Kanade-san, this looks like it’s going to be fun!”

As Chocolat bounded over, her gaze met the student council president’s.

“Oh my, are you Chocolat-san, the academic support pet~?”

“Yes, that’s me!”

Wait… even the student council officially recognizes her!?

“By the way, Student Council President.”

“Yes~? What is it?”

“Your hair smells really sweet and nice… Can I lick it?”

“ARE YOU AN IDIOT!?”

I hurriedly covered her mouth.

“S-Sorry, Kaichou.”

“Oh, it’s quite alright~.”

“Still, Chocolat-san, you’re absolutely adorable. Like a little doll~.”

“Ehehe, thank you very much!”

Kaichou patted Chocolat’s head… then, for some reason, turned her gaze to me.

And then—

“Yes, just like—”

“—something that isn’t human.”

“Wha—!?”

A cold shiver ran down my spine.

In that instant, Kaichou’s eyes were like those of a bird of prey, locking onto its victim.

“Fufu, just kidding~.”

By the time I processed her words, the usual relaxed smile was back on her face, as if nothing had happened.

“Well then, it’s time for us to take our leave. Second-year Class One, thank you for your time~.”

With a polite bow to Utage-sensei, Kaichou left the classroom, bringing Shishimori-senpai along with her.

…What the hell was that?

Did she know something about Chocolat?

Or was it just sharp intuition, like what happened with Yuuouji the other day?

As my thoughts swirled in confusion, my phone suddenly buzzed.

The sender: “God.”

The subject: “Curse Removal Mission.”

“At this timing… Wait—WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?”

《Mission: Get every participating girl in the competition to say “I like you.”》

《Deadline: By the end of the competition on Friday, May 31st.》

…Yeah, no.

That’s literally impossible.