My Memories Came Back, But I'm Not Telling My Childhood Friends - Chapter 5

Chapter 5

— The next morning.

I was sitting on top of the lockers at the back of the classroom with Ryosuke and the guys, just killing time and chatting like we always did.

“For real though, Maya was on a whole different level of cute,” Yamada said, looking back on the night before.

“Yeah, that smile of hers belongs in a museum. And those boobs, too,” another guy chimed in.

Yamada and the others were going on about their impressions of yesterday’s karaoke session.

As usual, the conversation was pretty classless.

Since they were talking about my childhood friend, I couldn’t help but feel a bit uneasy about it. But the fact that I didn’t even try to stop them made me realize just how much I’d actually blended in with this crowd.

“Okabe Maya… her guard was definitely up, though…”

Next to me, Ryosuke bit his nail, looking a little frustrated.

Yesterday, Ryosuke had tried his best to flirt with Maya, but she’d dodged every single one of his advances.

I’d been subtly getting in the way too, but she handled him so well that I probably didn’t even need to bother.

In the end, I couldn’t really tell if her guard was actually high or if she was just being soft.

Well, that airheaded, mysterious vibe is exactly who Okabe Maya is, anyway.

“Maybe you should just give up on her?” I suggested to Ryosuke, trying to nudge him toward dropping it.

“Nah, I’m actually getting fired up now. The ones with an iron defense like that are the most fun to break. That moment when you finally spend enough time to dye them in your own colors… man, nothing beats that feeling.”

As I thought, the word ‘quit’ wasn’t even in Ryosuke’s vocabulary.

Plus, his twisted personality was on full display.

I’d hoped he’d give up so I wouldn’t have to worry about it, but it looked like I’d only ended up fueling the fire.

What am I supposed to do with this guy…?

Ryosuke has set his sights on plenty of girls before. Most of them ended up being hunted until they belonged to him, eventually falling for his charms.

He isn’t the type to use violence or force himself on anyone; his style is to actually make the other person fall into darkness of their own volition. The only saving grace is that, in the end, it’s always consensual…

The nasty part is how easily he throws them away once he gets bored.

And apparently, when he dumps them, he makes sure to tell them, “I actually hate you,” right to their face.

He’s a genuine piece of trash.

…Not that I’m one to talk, though.

Even if our situations and goals were different, I’d done something pretty similar myself.

I didn’t have any right to lecture Ryosuke.

Maybe it really is better for me to just live my life as someone on this side of the fence.

Once a heart is stained, it doesn’t just go back to normal. Acting like a “good person” now would just be way too convenient.

If I’m going to spend all this time worrying, maybe it would be better to just act like these regained memories never happened in the first place—

Wait…? Is that…?

As I happened to glance down at the courtyard from the window, I noticed a female student being cornered by a guy.

They were in a blind spot, so none of the other students seemed to notice.

Just from a glance, the vibe felt tense.

And that girl getting bothered. Isn’t that—

Rin…?

I didn’t even need a second look to know it was one of my childhood friends, Hoshikage Rin.

She’s as blessed in the looks department as Maya, so she stands out immediately. I guess being a beautiful girl means you get a lot of attention. Getting hit on this early in the morning, huh?

But there was no doubt about it—the mood was bad.

Even from a distance, I could tell Rin was hating every second of it.

…

I really didn’t want to get involved with Rin if I could help it, but leaving her there while I just watched felt like it would leave a bad taste in my mouth.

I guess I’ll go check things out on my way to the bathroom.

“Sorry, guys. I’m gonna hit the head real quick.”

“Taking a dump?” “Don’t leak on the way!”

I cut the conversation short with Ryosuke and the others and hurried toward where Rin was.

◇ ◇ ◇

“—I told you! I hate delinquents like you!”

Rin was glaring at the guy with a look of pure disgust.

The argument was more intense than I’d expected, and looking closer, I saw he was gripping her arm.

She was desperately trying to shake him off, but the guy was built pretty solid, so Rin’s slender strength wasn’t doing a thing.

“Don’t be like that. My family’s loaded, you know? We could have a lot of fun.”

“I’m not hurting for money. Let go.”

“Come on, it’ll be great. Just once? Please?”

“I’ve said it a million times, I hate delinquents. Now let me go!”

Rin was firm in her refusal. But the guy showed no signs of letting her go.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen that specific type of delinquent.

Lately, you don’t see many guys who try to push themselves on girls so forcefully, but I guess our school had one after all.

Our school—Shirosaki Academy—is a middle-of-the-pack kind of place when it comes to grades. The discipline is actually okay, so you don’t see many blatant delinquents like this.

Even Ryosuke has some sense of boundaries. Though in his case, he’s crazy in a completely different way.

That’s why this felt a little off.

…Regardless, Rin is in trouble.

Since I went through the trouble of coming all the way down here, I might as well help her out while I’m “on my way to the bathroom.” Just a little side trip.

I wasn’t exactly thrilled about it, since it felt like I might lose sight of myself again, but I walked up to the two of them anyway.

“—Yo. You guys seem to be having fun.”

“!?…”

Rin’s eyes went wide with shock when she saw me.

“Huh? Who the hell are you? Don’t get in the way.”

“Don’t be like that. Let me join in too.”

“Hah…? What, are you after this girl too?”

The guy glared at me, clearly annoyed.

“Don’t get the wrong idea. The one I’m after is you.”

“H-Huh? What are you talking about…?”

“You’ve got money, right? Come play with me instead.”

“Are you… are you messing with me…?”

“I’m not messing around. I’m bored. Every single day. So come play with me.”

Fight fire with fire, and deal with a creep by being an even bigger creep.

Even a weirdo tends to snap back to reality when someone weirder shows up.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I’ve got some pretty bad rumors following me around.

“Tch, gross… forget it.”

The guy clicked his tongue loudly and walked away.

Honestly, it was a relief that he backed off so easily.

If I’d actually started swinging in front of Rin, she’d probably move past “disgust” and straight into “hatred.”

Now then… This is where the real problem starts.

As you could tell just now, Rin has a deep-seated hatred for delinquents.

And that includes me, her former childhood friend. There’s even a theory that I’m the reason why she feels that way.

I’m not sure about the details, but there’s zero doubt that she absolutely despises me.

The biggest reason she hates me is probably… because I made Maya cry.

To Rin, Maya is her childhood friend and best friend. I’m sure she won’t ever forgive me for what happened back then.

“W-What…? I didn’t ask you to save me, you know?”

“I didn’t save you. You’re getting ahead of yourself.”

“—!”

Rin looked at me with a sharp, piercing glare.

“I… I still haven’t forgiven you.”

She made her rejection crystal clear.

Her voice was trembling—maybe from the scare she just had, or maybe it was just pure anger directed at me.

“I see…”

I didn’t apologize or make excuses.

Doing that wouldn’t benefit anyone.

Everything that happened is in the past, and it can’t be taken back.

“Don’t you dare try to get close to Maya just because you’re in the same class now…!”

“I wasn’t planning on it anyway.”

“Hmph… I seriously hate delinquents.”

Rin spat the words out as she turned her head away.

…For someone who claims to hate delinquents, Rin herself looks pretty flashy.

With her bleached hair and her mini-skirt with a cardigan wrapped around her waist, she’s decked out in colorful accessories. Honestly, she looks more like a delinquent than I do.

Well, she’s more of a “gal” than a delinquent, I guess. But combined with her usual prickly attitude, anyone looking from the outside would just see a delinquent.

“What’s with that look like you want to say something? You’re creeping me out.”

She glared at me as if she’d read my mind while I was thinking that.

“Just so you know, I only dress like this for self-defense.”

“…Self-defense?”

“I only dress flashy so weird people don’t try to mess with me.”

I feel like that would actually have the opposite effect…

But if I said that, she’d just glare at me again, so I kept my mouth shut.

As always, Rin is a little bit off the mark.

Since we were kids, she’s always had a habit of her efforts backfiring, and she’s too stubborn to ever admit when she’s wrong.

In that sense, maybe she hasn’t changed all that much either.

“…Whatever. I’m leaving. See ya.”

The atmosphere was getting awkward, so I turned on my heel to walk away.

“W-Wait a minute.”

But Rin called out to stop me.

“…What is it?”

“You… about that… have your memories still not come back?”

I wondered what she wanted, and it turned out to be about my memory.

It’s been a while since anyone asked me that…

It was unexpected. I thought everyone had already moved on and left it in the past.

“…Sorry.”

After a moment of hesitation, that was all I could manage to say.

The old me is gone. Even with my memories back, it’s still like this. I’ve changed so much that I can never go back. I’ve become exactly the kind of person Rin hates.

Even if I told her the truth, it would probably just end up disappointing her for no reason.

“I see… Well, if they ever do come back, you better tell me.”

Rin said something I never would have expected, leaving me completely confused.

“…Why? I thought you hated me.”

“I hate the way you are now. But the way you used to be… I liked that person.”

“…”

Looking at the sadness seeping into her expression, my heart wavered for just a split second.

Maybe there was a chance she would accept me.

If I apologized properly, maybe things could go back to how they were…

I caught myself holding onto that faint hope. I was seeing a fantasy that was just too convenient.

But I shook it off immediately.

That isn’t possible. Even if she did forgive me, there’s no way we could ever laugh together from the bottom of our hearts like we used to.

I’ll say it again—I have changed.

“If they come back… yeah.”

Leaving her with only that, I finally walked away.

As I left, I couldn’t help but think that my final words were pretty cowardly.