My Memories Came Back, But I'm Not Telling My Childhood Friends - Chapter 12-13

Chapter 12: A Decision at the Observatory

After finishing lunch, we headed to the old lookout point where we used to gather with the childhood friends back in the day.

The city below was just as lively as I remembered. The glass buildings reflected the sunlight, making the whole town sparkle brightly.

“…This place brings back memories,” Shizuno murmured, gazing out at the view with a distant look in her eyes.

It seemed like it had been a while since she last came here. Of course, the same went for me.

“We used to meet up here all the time, all of us together.”

“…”

“We’d talk about our worries, share our dreams for the future… This spot was really special to us.”

Shizuno’s voice stayed gentle, but underneath it you could hear a sadness she couldn’t quite hide. It sounded less like she was reminiscing and more like she was checking to see what she’d lost.

“But after you lost your memories… we stopped coming here altogether.”

She said it and then sadly lowered her gaze.

Looking at her profile, my feelings started to shift in a big way.

Just a little while ago I’d been wondering what I really wanted, but now I was starting to feel like I should tell them that my memories had come back.

These were important memories for me and for all the childhood friends. After seeing how they reacted, I didn’t think it was right to take them to the grave.

But…

What I wanted to see wasn’t their shocked faces. I wanted to see them happy. If I told them about the memories right now, that probably wouldn’t happen.

“Hey… if the four of us childhood friends could gather here again, would you want to?”

“Why the sudden question? That doesn’t sound like you at all.”

I knew it wasn’t like me to ask something like this. But her answer might decide everything.

“It’s just a what-if.”

“Hmm… If we could, I’d want to. No matter what, those days were the most fun.”

Shizuno looked out into the distance again as she answered.

“And I don’t think it’s just me. Maya and Rin would probably say the same thing.”

“I see…”

Then maybe I didn’t need to keep hesitating anymore…

If they had pushed me away, I wouldn’t have reached this choice.

Like I said earlier, I wasn’t really that unhappy with my current life.

But even so, Maya, Rin, and Shizuno—all of them still treated me like their childhood friend, even if they had their own feelings about it. I also learned that, even if it was only halfway, they still wanted the old me to come back.

If even a small part of them was still waiting for me, then I wanted to live up to their expectations.

To do that, though, I had to change.

If I didn’t, we’d never be able to laugh together like we used to.

It was probably going to take a really long time. My twisted personality wasn’t something that could be fixed overnight.

And I’d run into a ton of hardships. Once your reputation hits rock bottom, it doesn’t turn around easily. I’d have to deal with a lot of stress from what people around me would say.

But this was probably my first and last chance.

If I let this moment slip away, I’d probably never be able to come back. I wouldn’t even want to try anymore.

This was something I could only do right now, while I still had the expectations of my childhood friends.

So—

I’m going to end this rotten version of myself and take back who I used to be.

That’s what I need to do, and it’s also what I truly want.

“…Alright, I think I’ll head back now.”

Having quietly made up my mind, I slowly turned my back on the city view.

“Oh, you’re leaving already?”

“Yeah. I just remembered something I need to do…”

I said it while holding back the excitement rising inside me, and left the spot.

I still wouldn’t tell her that my memories had returned.

There was still a chance it might really be too late. I might give up halfway. If that happened, I’d only end up getting their hopes up for nothing.

Besides, when I saw them again, I wanted to be able to hold my head high.

And then, just like the old days, I wanted all of us to gather here again and talk—

—

Chapter 13

The alarm clock woke me up. Even though I’d gone to bed earlier than usual, my body felt heavy.

I was already learning the hard way that habits built up over years don’t change overnight.

But I couldn’t just sit around feeling sorry for myself. I had to keep moving forward, even if it was only one step at a time.

After all, I’d made up my mind to change.

I told myself that and faced another ordinary morning.

I dragged my heavy body up and headed to the dining table. My mom was already there. She widened her eyes in surprise when she saw me up a whole hour earlier than usual.

“Oh my, that’s unusual. Reita waking up this early?”

“Yeah… I’m thinking I’ll try to get up early from now on.”

“What’s gotten into you…?”

She looked confused. She probably thought it was just another one of my weird moods. Mom had long since stopped seeing me as anything but her strange son.

I didn’t blame her for it. Both of us were victims of that accident. She lost her beloved husband, and her son lost his memories. No wonder she couldn’t stay completely sane.

Still, no matter what, she made dinner every day and gave me the money I needed. She was at least doing the bare minimum as a parent, so I had no right to complain. If anything, I was the one who owed her an apology.

“…Sorry. For worrying you all this time.”

“…?? What’s really going on with you?”

“I figured it was about time I tried to change too.”

“…!”

My words made her eyes widen again—

“I see… Mom’s happy to hear that.”

She smiled gently without even asking what had happened.

Maybe she’d already known. That one day I’d say something like this. The accident had changed me, but deep down she was still my mom, unchanged.

After that we didn’t talk much more, but somehow the morning felt strangely refreshing.

◇ ◇ ◇

I left the house thirty minutes earlier than usual.

Thanks to waking up early, my head felt clear and my steps were light.

The walk to school took twenty minutes. Unlike usual, I spotted a few other students on their way. Even though it was the same road, the scenery looked completely different. It felt like my first day of high school all over again.

Then, as I reached the intersection, I spotted two familiar backs.

Chestnut-brown hair in a half-up style, and a blonde side-tail with a cardigan tied around the waist.

—It was Maya and Rin.

This was the first time I’d seen them on the way to school. I was always rushing in right before the bell, so it felt incredibly fresh.

If I managed to become my old self again, maybe we could walk to school together like we used to…

The thought crossed my mind, but that was getting way ahead of myself.

Nothing had even started yet. I didn’t even know if I could actually change. I shouldn’t be getting my hopes up.

It might not even happen before we graduated high school. And even if I did manage to change, there was no guarantee we could go back to the way things were.

So much time had passed since then…

Anyway, there were other students around right now, and I didn’t want any weird rumors, so it was better not to get involved.

I thought that and tried to walk past them without saying anything, but…

Maya noticed me.

“Huh? Reita-kun…? It is Reita-kun! Wow, running into you in the morning is rare.”

She ran over with a happy look on her face, while Rin followed behind looking reluctant. This was getting complicated…

“Good morning, Reita-kun!”

“Y-yeah…”

She greeted me with a bright smile, but I answered curtly.

“What’s up? You showing up to school this early?”

“Nothing special. I just happened to wake up early and had time, so I left.”

“I see…”

Rin was just as short with me.

Even if I managed to go back, I couldn’t picture making up with Rin anytime soon…

Out of the three, Rin was the one who still carried real anger about the past. Plus she was stubborn, so she probably wouldn’t forgive me easily. And I wasn’t exactly the straightforward type either.

“Hey Reita-kun, want to walk to school together?”

Completely unaware of how I was feeling, Maya dropped another clueless suggestion.

“Come on, Maya… you’re saying that again…”

“But we ran into each other and everything.”

“No no, we just had that weird rumor the other day…”

“That got cleared up, didn’t it?”

The weird rumor—she was probably talking about that PE class incident.

All I did was carry Maya to the nurse’s office after she fell and got hurt, but somehow the story turned into me dragging her there by force.

Rin knew the truth and denied it, so on the surface it died down quickly. But behind the scenes, people were still spreading their own made-up versions just to have something to talk about.

Seriously. Everyone thinks they can say whatever they want just because I’m a delinquent. Well, maybe this is karma…

“…I’m going on ahead.”

I couldn’t drag the two of them into this any further.

It still wasn’t the right time.

Until I became a decent person, I wanted to keep some distance. Otherwise it would just end up like last time.

I thought that and started to walk ahead quickly, but…

“Wait…”

Maya grabbed the hem of my uniform.

“Hey… let go.”

“Please. Let’s go together?”

“No. If another weird rumor starts, it’ll be a problem.”

“J-just until partway then…!”

I kept refusing firmly, but Maya wouldn’t give up.

Her eyes looking up at me were on the verge of tears, and at the same time I could feel a strong determination in them.

……

When she made that face, it was hard to say no. For some reason, I’d always been weak to Maya’s expression like that. I hesitated, but if it was only partway… maybe it was okay.

“Fine. Only until partway…”

Even though I knew it was a bad idea, I ended up agreeing.

“…! Thank you!”

Maya’s face instantly bloomed into a bright, flower-like smile.

Seriously… how can she make a face like that toward me? No wonder Rin worries so much.

Carrying that uneasy feeling, I ended up walking to school side by side with the two of them.

“Fufu, walking like this really brings back old times.”

Maya sounded cheerful as she reminisced while we walked.

“Except there’s one person here we don’t know.”

On the other hand, Rin threw in a cold comeback. Pretty sharp sarcasm. Normally I would’ve snapped back, but today I kept quiet.

“I think the current Reita-kun looks cool too, though…?”

“No way. Delinquents are just lame guys acting tough.”

“But when push comes to shove, they’re strong and reliable, right?”

“Maya, you’ve read too many manga. In real life they’re just weaklings who can only act big by hanging around in groups.”

They took my silence as permission and kept saying whatever they wanted. It started to tick me off a bit.

“You’re one to talk, dressing all flashy like that.”

“Th-this…! Shut up! It’s none of your business!”

I’d only meant to tease her a little, but she got seriously mad.

Her reaction was different from what I expected, and it left me confused. I’d thought she’d get angry but also blush a little from embarrassment. Instead she looked genuinely annoyed.

Maybe I misjudged the distance between us after all…

Maya accepted me so naturally that I almost forgot, but I couldn’t ignore the deep rift still between us.

“…”

Rin turned her face away and stopped talking. I’d really messed up…

If I was going to change, I probably needed to relearn how to interact with people.

But… what was that?

It felt like Rin’s anger had something else mixed in. Something beyond just being mad at me. I couldn’t tell what it was, and the mood definitely wasn’t right for asking.

“Ahaha… It’s okay, Reita-kun. I’m sure you two will make up someday.”

“…I hope so.”

After that the atmosphere got awkward, and we barely talked the rest of the way. Just as promised, we split up partway and I continued on to school alone.