My Memories Came Back, But I'm Not Telling My Childhood Friends - Chapter 11

Chapter 11

After that, we decided to grab a slightly early lunch and headed to a nearby café.

Shizuno sat across from me, back straight, calmly looking over the menu.

At first glance, she looked so grown-up that no one would question it if you said she was a college student. Every little movement had a graceful touch to it, and you could really feel how well she’d been raised. The way she casually brushed her long black hair aside every now and then was pretty captivating.

In a way, she might not have changed much at all from back then.

She’d always been the kind of person with no openings. Her posture, her way of thinking—everything about her was neat and orderly, like she was wrapped in correctness itself. It felt like the old Shizuno had simply grown up exactly as she was.

Well, from my perspective, knowing how she used to be, it sometimes looked like she was putting on a bit of a show.

…Still, I never thought I’d sit at the same table with her again. Life really is unpredictable, huh.

Lost in those thoughts, I finished placing my order. While we waited for the food to arrive, Shizuno suddenly spoke up.

“So, how have you been lately? With life, I mean.”

“…That’s a pretty big-scale question right out of the gate.”

“We haven’t really talked properly since you lost your memory. I’ve been wondering about a lot of things.”

Her tone was calm, totally different from her usual lecturing mode. Back in the day, every conversation turned into some kind of argument battle, so talking normally like this was the first time in four years—same as with Maya and the others.

“Yeah… I don’t really have any complaints. But if you ask if I’m fulfilled, I wouldn’t say that either.”

I gave a vague answer. Just so you know, that was the honest truth.

The days I spent with Ryosuke and the gang weren’t exactly satisfying, but they weren’t boring either. Of course, now that my memories had come back, I had a whole new set of worries on my plate.

“I see… But you used to look like you were having a lot more fun.”

“…What are you trying to say?”

“Don’t you want to go back? To the kind of days we had before?”

“Even if you say that, I don’t remember any of that old stuff.”

I played dumb about the memory thing.

“Oh, right. Sorry.”

Shizuno apologized, looking like she didn’t have any bad intentions at all.

…She was testing me, wasn’t she?

That last comment was definitely her checking the possibility that my memories had returned. She caught on so quickly—it figured she was still as sharp as ever.

“I hope your memories come back soon.”

“I don’t think it’d mean much even if they did at this point.”

“Really? I wonder about that. All your childhood friends are still worried about you, you know?”

“Even you?”

“Yeah. More or less.”

“I-I see…”

I’d asked half-jokingly, but her unexpected answer left me at a loss for words. I’d thought Shizuno had completely given up on me, but apparently she still cared…

“Especially Maya—she seems really concerned. Why don’t you at least make up with her?”

“…What would that even accomplish?”

“You could just go back to being close like you used to.”

“No way. That’s impossible.”

“Why?”

“Because we’ve both changed—for better or worse.”

“I think the only one who got worse is you.”

“Shut up.”

That was exactly the problem.

“Why don’t you take this chance to turn over a new leaf?”

“That’d be way too late.”

“You think? I don’t think it’s late at all.”

“How can you even say that…”

I’d already gone too far to turn back. Reforming now was way past overdue.

“But right now, you’re hesitating, aren’t you?”

“Don’t just decide that on your own.”

“Am I wrong?”

“…”

She’d hit the nail on the head, and I couldn’t say anything. She saw right through me. Was I that easy to read, or was Shizuno just that perceptive?

“If it was the old you, you would’ve kicked that plastic bottle flying in that situation earlier. And you definitely wouldn’t have gone along with my invitation. At the very least, there’s clearly been a change in your heart.”

I’d thought she’d noticed my memories were back, but it seemed she was just really insightful.

After saying all that, Shizuno slowly lifted the coffee cup that had been brought to the table and brought it to her lips.

I sipped my iced tea and let my thoughts wander. Not late at all… huh.

When Shizuno said it, it sounded strangely convincing. She’d always had a really good eye for people, probably from dealing with so many bad guys over the years.

Honestly, I’d figured the chances of me actually reforming were basically zero, but maybe it wasn’t quite that hopeless after all.

If it really wasn’t too late…

Did I…

Want to go back…?

Sitting here, I suddenly ran straight into the question of what I actually wanted. Up until now I’d only been thinking about whether it was even possible or if there was any point in going back—I hadn’t really considered my own feelings.

The current me…

I think I do want to go back.

I even dreamed about everyone laughing together like that. There was definitely at least some part of me that felt that way.

“I don’t know what happened, but…”

Shizuno set her coffee down, and the faint clink of the cup against the saucer echoed softly.

“I’ll just say this—we’re all waiting for you to come back.”

Then, as she said those words, she casually poured sugar and milk into her coffee.

When I noticed, she made a slightly pouty face and quickly looked away.

She’d just said something nice, but it didn’t quite land smoothly. Her show-off side really hadn’t changed at all, and I almost felt my cheeks soften into a smile.

…Everyone really hadn’t changed as much as I’d thought.

And they were still waiting for me.

Even someone like me, who’d changed beyond recognition…