My Memories Came Back, But I'm Not Telling My Childhood Friends

Chapter 10

I said I was going on a journey to find myself, but it’s nothing that fancy.
I’m just wandering around the shopping street in front of the station where I always do my shopping.

I don’t have the money to suddenly go on a long trip anyway…

I still have some savings left from the part-time job I had back in the first year of high school, but my usual allowance is tiny, so I can’t waste any cash. I want to keep it for emergencies.

Well, today the main goal is just to get some fresh air and refresh my mind, so there’s no real problem.

By the way, I got fired from that convenience store job after only six months.

I got into a fight with a rude customer and they let me go.

The guy asked for a cigarette brand by number, and when I answered, he suddenly spat at me, so I got pissed and my hand flew out before I could stop it.

Looking back now, it’s a pathetic story. Getting serious with some old man like that.
Maybe I really am a hopeless piece of shit.

But the fact that I can even feel pathetic about it… does that mean there’s still room for me to change…?

While I was thinking about stuff like that and walking around aimlessly—

Right in front of me, the guy who was walking ahead tossed an empty plastic bottle on the ground.

It rolled straight to my feet.

I pretended I didn’t see it and tried to just keep walking.

…But I stopped.

The old me would have definitely picked it up and carried it to the trash can.

I never had enough sense of justice to go out of my way to scold the person who littered, but I would never have just ignored it either.
No matter how much of a hurry I was in, no matter how bad my mood was, I would have done it.

— I should pick it up.
— No, the guy who dropped it is the one at fault. It’s got nothing to do with me. Hell, maybe I should just kick it away.

Inside my head, two versions of me started arguing.
The me who had fallen into darkness, and the pure me from back then.
If you asked which one was stronger, it was definitely the dark me.
Even though I’d remembered those memories, they still felt like something from a very long time ago.

— It’s already too late. I’m better off just living as a scumbag.
— No, you can still go back. Don’t give up.

…I don’t know. Which one is right?
Which one is the real me?

“—Excuse me, you there.”

That’s when it happened.
A clear, pretty voice came from behind me.

“Didn’t you just litter that plastic bottle?”

I turned around, thinking the voice sounded familiar, and sure enough, there was a face I knew.

“Wait… you’re… Reita, aren’t you?”

The girl looked a little surprised when she saw my face.
She had long, glossy black hair and striking red-framed glasses, and she was wearing a knit cardigan.

— Shizuno Soraka.

She was the last person I wanted to run into right now.

“…Even though you’re already a high schooler, you’re still littering. Some things never change.”
“No, that wasn’t me who threw it away—”
“Save the excuses. Pick it up, quickly.”

Shizuno gave me a fed-up look and pointed at the bottle, ordering me to pick it up.

Of course it would turn out like this…

That’s exactly why I didn’t want to see her.

If I had to describe Shizuno Soraka in one word, it would be “justice.”

She’s the kind of person who clings tightly to her own sense of justice and goes overboard trying to correct anything she sees as unreasonable or unfair in other people or in society.

She’s basically the complete opposite of who I am now.
That’s why we get along the worst…

She’s always jumping down my throat about everything. Every single time I try to ignore her, she just keeps pushing until I’m sick of it.

I know it’s my own bad behavior that’s the problem, but…

At least this time it wasn’t my fault. I’m being framed.
Today, of all days, I’m gonna talk back.

“Hmph. I’m not lying.”
“From the situation, it really looks like you did it, though?”
“You’re accusing me without any proof?”
“It’s your own fault for doing things that make people suspicious all the time. That’s what we call your daily conduct.”

Tch… she’s good. I can’t believe I’m getting pushed back in a comeback battle.

“Then what if you’re wrong? How are you gonna take responsibility?”
“Even if I’m wrong by a long shot, I still can’t approve of just ignoring a littered bottle.”
“If that’s how you feel, go say it to everyone around here. Though forcing your justice on people who have nothing to do with it is just pushing your values on them.”

I found an opening and shot back right away.

Forcing your own values on other people isn’t right. If someone actually did the crime, fine, but just looking the other way isn’t a crime or anything.

Is it really okay to force that on someone who has nothing to do with it?

So, how are you gonna argue back?

“You’re not unrelated. You’re my childhood friend.”

“…”

—I lost.

I took a surprise hit.
It wasn’t a total knockout, but that one line was more than enough to shut me up.

Why do these people still treat me like their childhood friend…?

“…So? What are you doing in a place like this?”

Shizuno asked while she picked up the plastic bottle.

“Nothing special, just killing time.”
“Picking up girls again?”
“Stop calling me a serial pickup artist.”

I got hit with an unfair insult and fired back immediately.

There are all kinds of rumors about me at school, but honestly, I’ve never caused any trouble involving girls.
When I do talk to girls, it’s usually just tagging along with Ryosuke. I’m definitely not some habitual offender.

Because of how I normally act, I’ve kind of accepted that weird rumors will pop up, but still… getting suspected by Shizuno of all people stings.

“I wonder if that’s really true…”

It looked like Shizuno didn’t believe a word I said.
If she had believed me easily, I might have actually worried, but even so, my chest ached just a little.

I never used to feel this way before, but I guess it’s because of the memories I got back.

“…Well, anyway, that’s how it is.”

When the conversation hit a lull, I tried to leave right away.

“Wait.”

But she stopped me.
This feels so familiar…

Why do you people always stop me? I’m trying to be considerate and leave quickly.

“…What? If you’re hitting on me, I’m not interested.”
“I’ve decided to keep an eye on you today.”
“Huh…?”

Shizuno completely ignored my joke and suddenly said something completely ridiculous.
Keep an eye on me…?

“You’ve been acting kind of suspicious lately. Like… you keep glancing around, checking who’s watching…”

She pushed her glasses up with a finger and looked at me doubtfully.
That’s probably because of the memories coming back too. Of course I didn’t say that.

“I’m worried you might turn to crime. That’s why I’m watching you.”
“What do you even think I am…?”

Even before I got my memories back, I wasn’t the type to just casually commit crimes.

“I’m a decent delinquent who’s never even done underage drinking or ridden double on a bike.”
“A delinquent isn’t decent to begin with.”
“Even so, watching me is a violation of privacy. Is that really okay for someone who talks about justice all the time?”

I threw out a counterattack like payback for earlier.
Surely she can’t argue with that.

“…Then let’s do this. Come with me from now on.”
“Huh?”
“We’ll move together. That way there’s no problem, right?”
“With me…? You?”
“That’s right.”

Is she serious? Right now we’re like fire and oil.

“What if I say no?”
“I’ll report you.”
“For what crime…?”
“For being a suspicious person.”

Please don’t do that. I’ll actually get taken in.

“Well, joking aside. Let’s talk for the first time in a while.”
“Talk about… what?”
“Anything. Just casual chat.”
“You and me aren’t gonna have anything to talk about.”
“That’s not true. You might not remember, but back then we used to talk a lot when it was just the two of us. It was really fun.”

Shizuno said that and gave a small smile.

I don’t know… I can’t read the distance between us at all.

I thought she completely hated me now that I’m a bad guy, but it doesn’t really look like that.

And unlike Rin or Maya, she doesn’t seem to care much about the past, for better or worse.
That’s very much like Shizuno.

…Well, maybe it’s fine.

Today is my day to find myself. Honestly, just walking around blankly isn’t much more than a mood reset anyway. Talking with Shizuno, who has a really solid sense of “self,” might actually give me some kind of insight.

I might as well take her up on the offer.