Chapter 17 – The Hero and the Demon Lord Agree on One Thing: My Yandere Princess Needs to Chill!

The dusty combat arena smelled like burnt ozone and terrible decisions. A smoking pile of expensive robotic scrap metal ruined the cracked marble floor. The morning sun beat down heavily on the silent stadium. Hundreds of elite magical students stared down at me in terror.

“The dark abyss claims all weak and pathetic souls. I will consume her mechanical failures with my shadow magic.”

Dantalion floated two inches off the shattered arena dirt. Thick black smoke poured aggressively from his heavy leather boots. His red eyes glowed with edgy intensity.

“I will banish your dark stench from this holy arena.”

Leo struck a dramatic heroic pose in his blinding golden armor. He rested his heavy metallic hand confidently on his sword hilt.

“My supreme demonic power will crush your bright optimism.”

Dantalion gathered a tiny cloud of purple dark energy in his pale hands. He smirked an arrogant, evil smirk.

I rubbed my tired eyes with a flour-stained hand. This was the worst possible time for their weird rivalry. My artisan sourdough starter was dying back in my dorm room. Doughy needed my immediate attention.

“Can you guys please just take this outside?”

“You have demonstrated supreme cruelty today.”

Dantalion turned his glowing red eyes toward Elara in the dirt. He ignored my valid, logical request.

I looked down at my cheap canvas shoes in confusion. I flexed my bare, uninjured right hand.

“I just punched a piece of metal.”

“Enslaving a defeated foe is the ultimate dark lord move.”

Dantalion crossed his skinny pale arms over his spiked chest plate. He nodded his head slowly in wicked approval.

“I was trying to go home and bake bread.”

“Forcing her to carry your heavy bags is pure delicious evil.”

“You misunderstand his noble, golden intentions.”

Leo marched forward with heavy clanking metallic steps. He pointed his glowing silver replica sword at the edgy demon.

“He is obviously a terrifying monster of pure darkness.”

Dantalion sneered and revealed his perfectly white teeth. He floated slightly higher into the warm morning air.

“He is a benevolent golden king taking a fallen warrior under his wing. He will guide her broken soul back toward the glorious light.”

Leo puffed out his shiny golden chest plate proudly. He looked directly at me with uncomfortable heroic admiration.

Elara sat in the dusty dirt looking baffled. Her short blue hair was covered in dark engine grease. She wiped a fresh tear from her bruised cheek.

“I just want to keep my S-Rank status.”

“Silence your pathetic tongue. A true shadow servant only speaks when the dark master allows.”

Dantalion snapped his pale fingers loudly. A tiny spark of purple magic flared briefly in the air.

“A noble squire must learn the virtues of silent observation.”

Leo nodded his blond head in agreement. It was the very first time they ever agreed on anything.

“You guys are delusional and problematic.”

I crossed my arms tightly over my basic cotton shirt. I checked my cheap digital watch in panic.

“The master tests our supreme patience with his false modesty.”

Dantalion smirked his classic evil villain smirk again. He tried to look cool and mysterious.

“His humility is the perfect testament to his hidden strength.”

Leo smiled a bright, insufferable heroic smile. He tapped his golden chest plate twice quickly.

Professor Arthur snored loudly from the middle of the arena dirt. He was fast asleep under his dirty gray trench coat. He used the jagged gray rock as a very hard pillow.

“The homeless king sleeps while the golden era officially begins.”

Leo bowed his shiny head respectfully toward the vagrant teacher. He treated the lazy man like a religious icon.

“He is just a lazy guy avoiding a mountain of paperwork. I am going to leave.”

I really needed to get back to my luxury penthouse. The delicate yeast structure was collapsing right now. Yeast is a demanding living organism that requires precise timing. I turned around to walk toward the massive iron gates. I took exactly three steps across the cracked marble floor.

“You must formally accept her servitude first.”

Dantalion blocked my path with a wall of thick black smoke. The smoke smelled like cheap incense and old shoes.

“I do not want a servant.”

“A king requires a loyal shadow to walk the bright path.”

Leo stepped directly next to the edgy dark lord. They were teaming up to ruin my peaceful life.

“I just want to bake my French baguettes.”

“The dark rituals of the oven require a willing sacrifice.”

Dantalion nodded slowly with terrifying seriousness. He honestly believed baking was a lethal dark art.

“Baking is a perfectly normal, peaceful scientific process.”

“Your golden hearth will forge her into a legendary weapon.”

Leo tapped his shiny golden sword with a heavy gauntlet. He misunderstood the entire concept of normal cooking.

“You guys are making baking sound weird and dangerous.”

The ambient temperature in the air suddenly plummeted below freezing. The bright morning sunlight seemed to dim across the stadium. A suffocating wave of killing intent washed heavily over the dirt.

“My Dylan does not need an assistant. I am his one and only property manager.”

Sakura stepped forward with terrifying athletic speed. Her bright red hair floated menacingly in the cold magical air. Her crimson eyes glowed with unfiltered yandere rage.

“This crazy woman possesses a terrifying amount of pure evil.”

Dantalion took a fast step backward away from her dark aura. He coughed nervously as his fake black smoke vanished.

“She is corrupted by a dangerous madness.”

Leo raised his glowing silver shield defensively to protect his chest. He took a wide combat stance in the loose dirt.

“I will gladly eliminate the surplus bug right now.”

Sakura pulled a solid silver throwing knife from her uniform skirt. She twirled the deadly weapon effortlessly between her delicate fingers. She turned her terrifying crimson gaze directly toward the mechanic.

Elara scrambled backward in the loose dust. Her eyes went wide in unadulterated horror.

“Please do not murder anyone today.”

I raised my bare hands in a desperate gesture of peace. I stepped carefully toward my violently crazy childhood friend.

“She is unworthy of breathing your customized air.”

Sakura took a slow, predatory step toward Elara. She gripped the silver handle of the knife tight.

“I just wanted to prove I was the strongest.”

Elara wiped another fresh tear from her dirty face. Her sci-fi mecha was a smoking ruin. Her prestigious academic rank was on the line. Now she was facing a yandere death god.

“Your pathetic dreams are meaningless. I will tie heavy rocks to your ankles and drop you in the moat.”

Sakura pulled a thick coil of heavy hemp rope from nowhere. She held the silver knife in one hand and the rope in the other. She smiled a victorious, unhinged smile. She was genuinely excited about the prospect of brutal murder.

“I lost absolutely everything today.”

“That is a specific and illegal threat.”

I stepped quickly between my crazy childhood friend and the terrified mechanic. I blocked Sakura from advancing any further.

“I am just protecting my ultimate treasure from dirty pests.”

She tilted her beautiful head slightly to the left. She looked exactly like an innocent angel planning a violent execution.

“She is not a pest.”

“She pointed a massive lethal weapon at your beautiful chest.”

“It was a sanctioned school duel.”

“I do not care about pathetic school rules.”

Sakura bypassed my defensive stance with blinding speed. She lunged directly toward Elara with the sharp silver knife raised high. Her movements were fluid and lethal.

I reacted with the muscle memory of a dedicated baker. I pushed off the cracked marble to intercept her attack. I grabbed Sakura firmly around her narrow waist and pulled hard.

“Let me go right now.”

“Absolutely not.”

I held her back with all of my raw physical strength. She struggled violently like a trapped, dangerous animal.

“I must secure the entire perimeter for our future happiness.”

“You are going to get us expelled.”

“The school board is way too terrified of my raw power.”

She actually had a valid, logical point there. The school board let us do whatever we wanted.

“Just put the heavy ropes and the sharp knives away.”

“I will only put them away if you refuse her. Tell her to go rot in the filthy F-Rank slums.”

Sakura stopped struggling and leaned her soft head against my chest. Her unnatural body heat radiated straight through my cotton shirt. She wrapped her free arm tightly around my neck. She whispered the cruel demand directly into my right ear. Her hot breath sent a shiver down my spine.

“I cannot just ruin her life over a stupid fight.”

Elara stared up at me with wide, desperate eyes. Her academic future was hanging by a single thin thread. If I listened to Sakura right now, she was finished.

“You are way too kind and pure for this dirty world. That is exactly why I must handle the messy executions for you.”

Sakura traced a possessive circle against my fast-beating heart. She looked up at me with deep, suffocating obsession. She tried to pull the silver knife back up again. She ignored the massive crowd watching us from the bleachers.

“Nobody is executing anyone in this school.”

I squeezed her waist tighter to keep her arms pinned. I could feel the incredible magical power practically humming beneath her skin.

“Then what are you going to do about the annoying blue bug?”

I looked around the disastrous combat pit in exhaustion. Professor Arthur was still fast asleep on his jagged gray rock. Leo and Dantalion were watching the physical struggle with confusion. Elara was begging for her academic life with her terrified eyes. My artisan sourdough was definitely collapsing in its glass bowl right now. I just wanted to go back to my quiet kitchen and bake.

“I will formally claim her as my personal academic assistant.”

My voice echoed loudly across the silent, dusty arena. The elite nobles in the high bleachers started screaming in toxic anger. They hated the idea of a loser getting a free pass.

“You cannot just save a loser from the dirt!”

A rich student in fancy silk robes threw an empty cup. The plastic cup bounced harmlessly off the cracked arena floor.

“She belongs in the trash!”

I ignored the problematic, toxic crowd. They were just jealous of my SSS-Rank immunity.

“Did you just say yes?”

Elara blinked her tear-filled eyes in shock. She slowly lowered her bruised hands from her dirty face.

“You are going to do all my boring magic homework. You will carry my heavy bags of premium wheat flour.”

“I will write every single essay perfectly. I will carry absolutely anything you want.”

She nodded her head rapidly in desperate relief. She scrambled slightly closer to my cheap canvas shoes.

“You are officially my problem now.”

“I am going to poison her first meal.”

Sakura let out a terrifying, deep growl. She practically vibrated with unfiltered yandere jealousy. She gripped the silver knife so hard her knuckles turned white.

“You are not poisoning my new homework robot.”

“She is filthy and unworthy of your glorious presence.”

“She is going to do all my annoying paperwork.”

I let go of Sakura’s waist and stepped back carefully. I kept my bare hands raised in a constant gesture of peace.

“If you look at my Dylan funny, I will shatter your knees. If you breathe his customized air without permission, you die. If you touch him, I will feed you to the swamp monster.”

Sakura turned her glowing crimson eyes directly toward Elara. She pointed the sharp tip of the silver knife at the dirty mechanic.

“I understand. Got it. I will not touch him.”

Elara swallowed hard and nodded nervously. She kept her terrified eyes glued to the dusty dirt.

“We can go home and bake bread together now.”

Sakura smiled a victorious, unhinged smile. She happily dropped the heavy hemp rope onto the cracked marble floor. She walked over and wrapped her arm tightly around my left bicep. She rested her soft chin perfectly on my aching shoulder. She squeezed my arm with terrifying, unyielding physical strength.

“You guys are deeply weird and confusing.”

Leo sheathed his glowing silver sword with a loud metallic clank. He shook his blond head in heroic disappointment.

“The dark master works in mysterious and terrifying ways.”

Dantalion dispersed his pathetic cloud of purple smoke. He tried to look wise and mysterious.

“I am going to leave before my dough dies completely.”

I dragged my crazy childhood friend toward the massive iron gates. Elara scrambled up from the dirt and followed quickly behind us. The massive stadium crowd continued to boo loudly.

I was officially the most hated student in the entire magical academy. I had a giant target painted on my cheap cotton back. I had an unhinged yandere princess glued permanently to my side. Now I also had a resentful mechanic following my every move. My quiet, peaceful bakery dreams were ruined.