I'm a Middle-Aged Man with No Degree or Job History Who Got Kicked Out of the Hero's Party. After I Started Crushing Them with My Power of Revenge, They Begged Me to Come Back, but There's No Way in Hell I'm Going Back - Chapter 13
Chapter 13: The Avenger Reven Exacts Revenge on His Third Target
“You’re Avengeyan!?”
At Bichi’s shrill voice, Reven cracked his joints while answering in a low, menacing voice:
“I’ve come to repay you for all the grudges you’ve given me, you old hag.”
After saying that, Reven glared fiercely at her.
Incidentally, he cracked his joints too much and broke his bones.
“My aaaaaaarm!! My arm is gooooone!!”
Without saying anything to Reven as he writhed in pain, Bichi said:
“Do you know what’s going to happen to you for doing this!? What are you doing, guards!! Call the guards!!”
“Hmph, it’s useless. Your subordinates have apparently abandoned you too. The guards won’t come thanks to my ability. You’re a rat in a trap.”
“Wh-what are you talking about…?”
At those words, Bichi’s face went pale.
“Being expelled by you all allowed me to gain new powers of ‘revenge.’ I’m grateful, because thanks to that, I obtained enough power to take revenge on you.”
“No no, everyone just can’t keep up with your crazy antics.”
Lumie interjected at Reven’s statement.
“Oh my, Lumie-chan. Why are you with these people?”
“Ah… well, um…”
“What about your work? And aren’t you ashamed to be with such suspicious people? Sorry, but later…”
Puff puff puff puff…
Suddenly, Bichi noticed black smoke.
When she frantically turned around, her designer travel bags were being burned by Reven.
“Kyaaaaaaah!! What are you doing!?”
Bichi frantically tried to stop Reven.
“Bone Attack!!”
However, Reven pulled out his broken bone from his arm and punched her away with all his might.
“Owwwwww!! Wh-what are you doing!? Hey, why are you just standing there!? Hurry and…”
“Handle it yourself instead of relying on your subordinates!! You damn hag!!”
Grabbing Bichi’s head as she tried to rely on Lumie, he slammed it onto the desk with all his might.
“Gahh…!!”
“Hmph, despite me rampaging this much, no one’s helping you—you must be quite hated.”
In fact, Bichi, who had continuously harassed her subordinates, was naturally despised by them.
If Lumie were to be honest, she didn’t want to help either.
“Ah, help me!! Please, I’ll apologize for what happened back then…”
“Oh?”
After saying that, Reven drew his sword.
And he slashed Bichi, imbuing it with the power of revenge.
“Bayaka Two-Sword Secret Technique: ‘Resentment Slash’!!”
“Squee!!”
When Bichi was slashed, she found herself at her old workplace.
“Th-this is…?”
With a rattling sound, Roaks appeared pushing a cart.
And he dropped all the cargo from the cart.
“Hey, what are you doing!? Pick it all up yourself!!”
“You help pick it uuuuup!!”
However, Reven in a beetle costume grabbed her head and slammed her face into the wall with all his might.
“N-no!! I don’t do manual labor…”
“That’s why you’re fat!! Move a little, dammit!!”
After saying that, Reven grabbed her legs and threw her onto a conveyor belt.
“Wh-what is this… what’s happening…”
As she wiped away the blood, the conveyor belt started moving.
“No…!!”
At the end of the conveyor belt was a swarm of sharks with their mouths wide open, waiting.
“Kyaaaaaaah!! What! What is this!?”
“Bayaka Two-Sword Secret Technique: ‘Forced Diet’!!”
Seeing this, Roaks couldn’t help but mutter:
“Didn’t we do this before?”
“N-nooooooo!! Help me!!”
Bichi frantically tried to get off the conveyor belt.
But Reven didn’t allow it.
“Already prepared for that!!”
When Reven pressed a button, a giant pit appeared around the conveyor belt.
“No…!!”
“You’ll either become shark food or lose weight—choose one!! If you don’t want to die, run!!”
“Hiiiiiiii!!”
Bichi ran desperately.
Because if she stopped, she’d die.
Then, Reven appeared wearing combat gear.
“Diiiiiie!!”
When Reven planted vegetable seeds in the ground, gorilla-like monsters sprouted from them.
“Whaaaaat!? Those things aren’t costumes!?”
“Go! Unknown monsters!!”
With that command, the monsters clung to Bichi.
“G-get off me!!”
Then, the monsters suddenly began glowing and exploded.
“They exploded!! What are those monsters!?”
“Maybe they’re a type of magical beast…”
Bichi, blown away by the blast, was sent flying straight toward where the sharks were.
“Shark! (Alright, food!!)”
“Sharks don’t have voices!!”
When Bichi entered, the sharks began eating.
Mainly the gorilla-like monsters.
“Kyaaaaaaah!! Help… help me!!”
“Goddamn!!”
Reven fired a destruction beam from his mouth and wiped out the sharks along with Bichi.
“Gyaaaaaaah!!”
Pop!☆
The sharks turned into beef bowls.
“Ah—!! The sharks turned into beef bowls!!”
“That makes no sense!!”
“Don’t you know!? Sharks turning into beef bowls is… common seeeeense!!”
After saying that, Reven grabbed Bichi’s head and threw her somewhere.
“Huff… huff… what is this!? What’s happening!!”
While wiping away blood, she looked around.
This time, it was a kitchen.
“Th-this place is!?”
“Shut up!!”
Reven grabbed her head and slammed it into a pot boiling with oil.
“Kyaaaaaaah!!”
Bichi’s scream echoed through the kitchen.
“Today is cooking class time for my darlings!!”
“What? Cooking class?”
When she glanced over, gorilla-like monsters were trying to take a cooking class.
“Now then, today I’d like to try making simple and delicious pork cutlets!!”
The one serving as instructor was the princess, Flam.
“Huh? Who’s this girl?”
“Don’t complain!! Even if she’s younger, a teacher is a teacher!!”
Reven punched Bichi’s face, which should have suffered severe burns and damage beyond speech.
“S-so then, I’ll explain how to make it.”
“She’s troubled but continuing!!”
Saying that, she prepared pork shoulder loin.
“First, cut slits into the fat.”
Flam cut slits into the fat as she said.
“I understaaaand!!”
Following her words, Reven carved up Bichi’s shoulder.
Slash!!
“Kyaaaaaaah!!”
“N-next, coat the meat with flour and beaten egg.”
Flam coated the meat with flour and beaten egg in that order.
“Noooooooo!!”
Following her words, Reven threw Bichi into magical seasoning and melted Mr. Egg.
“Kyaaaaaaah!!”
Seeing this, Roaks couldn’t help but interject:
“What the hell is this!?”
“Now revive!!”
And from inside melted Mr. Egg, a certain creature revived.
“The pterosaur that ○s ○!!”
“No waaay!?”
“Fireball Barrage!!”
The fireball barrage hit Bichi and the gorilla-like monsters.
“Next, wrap it in breadcrumbs so it spreads out, then gently put the meat in and fry it at 170 degrees!”
Flam wrapped the meat in breadcrumbs so it would spread out and put it in the oil.
“I understaaaand!!”
Reven struck Bichi with a giant hammer.
“Pigya!”
“It’s not even related anymore!!”
“Absolute Zero!!”
He doused the mangled Bichi with absolute zero.
It had nothing to do with cooking anymore.
“Once it’s colored, finally fry it just a little in 180-degree oil, then let it cool with residual heat and it’s complete!!”
“I can already see the punchline!! You’re gonna fry it in hot oil anyway, right!!”
But Roaks’s prediction was wrong.
“Finish!! Bayaka Two-Sword Forbidden Secret Technique: ‘Piping Hot Oil’!!”
Reven restrained Bichi and dragged her viciously with a spiked roller.
“What even is this anymore!!”
Meanwhile, Lumie was also participating in the cooking.
“That was surprisingly educational.”
However, what she had made was “Pork Cutlet of Despair” that couldn’t be shown without a mosaic.
“What did you make!?”
“Pork cutlet. Cooking is about taste, not appearance, right?”
“Really!? Give it here!!”
Roaks snatched it and threw it into Reven’s mouth.
“Human experiment!!”
“Gwooooooh!!”
When Reven was force-fed the “Pork Cutlet of Despair,” he vomited a massive amount of sludge onto Bichi.
“It’s disgustiiiiing!! I’m gonna diiiiie!!”
“So delicious I’m throwing up, huh?”
“He’s saying it’s disgusting!!”
Bichi was about to lose consciousness from the assault.
And when she came to, she was in her usual place.
Employees had gathered around, perhaps hearing the commotion.
“Huh… what is this?”
Bichi was bewildered by the situation.
“You pig hag. After I landed the first slash, urp, I didn’t do anything. You were just, ugh… I feel sick…, writhing around in a nightmare created by yourself…”
Reven said this while looking ill, as if wondering what he had been made to eat.
“That’s a lie!! There’s clearly a part after I made you eat it!!”
“So it was an area-of-effect technique. How nice to get cooking lessons through a technique.”
As Lumie was impressed, Flam said with a smile:
“Lumie-chan. I’d like to talk with you later.”
As Bichi trembled at having exposed such an unsightly display, Reven readied his sword for the finish.
“There’s something I’ve wanted to say to you for a long time.”
“Ah… ah…”
She no longer had the spirit to respond.
Reven, not seeming to care about such things, readied his sword.
“Here I go!!”
“Ah… no… stop!! If I become any more beaten up, my boyfriend won’t forgive…”
Before she could finish, Reven unleashed his technique.
“Bayaka Two-Sword Secret Technique: ‘Flash of Retribution’! And there’s no way a pig hag like you would have a boyfriend!!”
“Kyaaaaaaah!!”
With that single strike, Bichi was completely silenced.
“A pig hag like you who doesn’t know kindness should face reality a little.”
After Reven said something like a catchphrase, Roaks once again fed him the “Pork Cutlet of Despair.”
“That applies to you too!! Thirty-eight years old!!”
“Gyaaaaaaah!!”
One of the employees watching this scene trembled and said:
“B-Bichi-san is so beaten up… who are you people…”
While vomiting blood, Reven grinned and answered:
“Just an unemployed person with no educational background or work history. Hire me.”
The employee smiled and replied:
“Impossible.”
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