I Went Into the Mountains to Commit Suicide and Picked Up an All-Purpose Perverted Maid Who Loves Serving Her Master

Chapter 28: Mukai and a Certain Researcher

Mukai POV

Something’s off. Why isn’t it working? What’s going on?

The 005 unit I borrowed from Dad isn’t performing at all like I expected.

Could it be… Yamanaka’s secretary isn’t related to the 005 series? No, that can’t be…

I couldn’t accept it, so through Dad, I contacted Futaba Labs, the developers of the 005. A researcher came to see me.

“You entrusted asset management to the 005, but it’s not yielding results? Uh… why would you do that? Sure, the 005 is smarter than most humans, so it’s not impossible. But that’s not its main function. It’s a weapon. Complaining that it’s not making enough investment returns and calling it defective puts us in a tough spot.”

That’s what the researcher—a short, chubby, bald guy in a lab coat from Futaba Labs—said.

“I looked at the investment results, and they’re pretty solid. It’s steadily growing your assets. What’s the problem?”

“No! It should be capable of much bigger returns! Otherwise, it doesn’t make sense!”

Exactly. It’s making some profit, but this level is nowhere near Yamanaka’s investment performance. It shouldn’t be this mediocre. Either my 005’s abilities are deliberately suppressed, or it’s malfunctioning.

“I don’t know what kind of fantasies you have about androids, but that’s impossible. No matter how smart they are, they can’t predict the future with certainty. They can only make high-probability, conservative investments. They’re not some legendary investor.”

That’s ridiculous. Then how the hell is Yamanaka doing it?

I need results fast, or Dad will take the 005 back. What else can I use it for to get results?

“Mr. Mukai, it seems you’ve misunderstood the 005’s capabilities. Let me properly explain its abilities. Take a look at this.”

The chubby researcher handed me some documents and a laptop.

The laptop screen showed what looked like a 005 unit and a regular car in a video. The 005 approached the car and lifted it effortlessly, then leaped high and slammed it into the ground. The car’s windows shattered, and it crumpled. Then, the 005 body-slammed the wrecked car, sending it flying off-screen.

The footage switched. Now, the 005 was being targeted with heavy firearms, shot with various rounds, and finally scorched with a flamethrower. After a while, the 005 emerged from the flames, clothes burned off, completely naked—but its flawless skin didn’t have a single scratch.

“What do you think? This is the 005’s true power: immense strength, impenetrable defense, and a human-like appearance to blend in. Their abilities are perfect for terrorism, sabotage, assassination. Don’t you think there are better uses than fiddling with investments? Like, say, physically crushing rival companies?”

I see… My mind flashed with a list of companies I’d love to see gone.

“Your father seems to have that kind of use in mind. He probably lent you one to test its combat capabilities. Ultimately, he plans to use their overwhelming force to establish an independent nation.”

An independent nation? That’s insane—what’s Dad thinking? A single company can’t pull that off.

“You think it’s impossible? But with enough force, anything’s possible. Everyone values their life. An invincible assassin blending into crowds, striking out of nowhere. No matter where you hide, they can easily destroy buildings to get to you. …Terrifying, right? Faced with that, even prime ministers or presidents would listen.”

“That’s… but still, that alone…”

“Mr. Mukai, there aren’t many 005s yet. But with more funding, we can mass-produce them. How about it—want to invest more in us? With the 005, we can build an unstoppable army. You could seize the world itself.”

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? POV

“Kukuku, thanks for the business.”

I muttered to myself, shedding the lab coat and climbing into the lab’s sales car, gripping the steering wheel.

Man, talking to dimwitted humans is exhausting. Why was he so hung up on investments, of all things?

Anyway, I successfully hooked a new cash cow. Mukai’s son will be a great source of funds—way easier to manipulate than his father. He thinks he’ll be the only one with 005s. What a fool. We’ve got other sponsors too.

The lab director’s against further 005 production, saying they’re incomplete. But I’ll persuade him. Research needs money, and he’s only interested in that. He won’t complain as long as the funds keep flowing. Besides, making the androids this powerful was just to attract sponsors in the first place.

Director, keep tinkering with your endless, unfinishable research. I’ll use it to take over the world.