I Went Into the Mountains to Commit Suicide and Picked Up an All-Purpose Perverted Maid Who Loves Serving Her Master

Chapter 16: Grooming

“Yamanaka-kun?”

While I was out alone in the city, someone called out to me. The bustling downtown streets were filled with the sounds of car engines, footsteps, and chatter. Amid all that noise, her voice calling my name stood out clearly.

I turned toward the voice and saw a striking woman in the crowd. She wasn’t dressed flamboyantly. She wore a white mask, so I couldn’t see her face clearly. But she radiated an aura that set her apart from everyone else.

“Uh…”

“It’s me, silly! We were in the same class in middle school!”

With that, she took off her mask. She was a refined beauty, the kind you rarely see.

I was stunned. I recognized her face—not from middle school, but from a few years ago on TV.

She was my former classmate, the idol of our class, and now a TV news anchor—Kyōka Azuma.

Honestly, back in middle school, we barely interacted. Even though we were in the same class, I hardly remember talking to her. She was the popular girl, while I was the loner with barely any friends.

I was shocked when I later heard a classmate had become an anchor, and I’d seen her on TV plenty of times since. No way I’d mistake her. Though, lately, I haven’t had time to watch TV.

“Azuma-san…?”

“Yay, you remembered me! It’s been forever—how’re you doing?”

“I-I’m doing okay.”

I answered, a bit flustered by her friendly tone.

“Running into you here is such a crazy coincidence! Oh, hey, you changed your contact info, right?”

“Contact info?”

From middle school, probably?

“Yeah! Did you know we’re having a middle school reunion soon? I’m actually one of the organizers. I was reaching out to classmates, but I couldn’t get ahold of you.”

“Oh, really? Sorry about that.”

“So, let’s swap contact info! You’ll come to the reunion, right?”

※

A reunion, huh? What to do…

Part of me wants to go, but there are people I’d rather not see. Still, getting a direct invite from Azuma herself makes it hard to say no. But I don’t have anything decent to wear to a reunion, and I’ve got zero fashion sense. What should I do?

It’s a bit awkward, but maybe I’ll ask Mei for advice. After meeting Azuma, I went home and brought it up.

“Hey, Mei, there’s a middle school reunion coming up…”

“Is that so? Then we’ll make sure you’re impeccably groomed so no one looks down on you. My Master can’t be underestimated by others.”

Looked down on…?

“This is the perfect opportunity. Let’s get you a new wardrobe.”

Before I could even say I needed clothes for the reunion, Mei read my mind.

She dragged me to a high-end brand clothing store.

There, she bought a ton of clothes for me, as if it was nothing. I tried to stop her—there’s no way I’d have occasions to wear all this—but she wouldn’t listen.

I can’t even tell the difference between cheap and expensive clothes. Honestly, I was fine with cheap stuff. But Mei insisted on buying pricey ones. Why does a plain white T-shirt cost so much more just because it’s a brand name?

In the end, I was decked out head-to-toe in brand-name gear. Shoes, bags, accessories—everything.

※

“Next, let’s fix your hair.”

Mei led me to a room in our luxury apartment that we hadn’t used before. It had been completely transformed without my knowledge. It looked like a full-on salon, complete with a barber chair, a large mirror, and a sink for washing hair.

“Why’s this room like this…?”

“I thought having a salon at home would be convenient.”

“Sure, a home salon is handy, but you need a barber to cut hair. Who’s gonna do it with just the room?”

“Me, of course. Leave it to me—I’m better than any average stylist.”

She sat me in the chair and draped a cloth over me to keep hair off my clothes. Then, with a single snip of her scissors, my hair fell in clumps. It happened in an instant. My hair was perfectly styled in no time.

What the hell!? Did I miss something? How do you cut hair that fast!?

And just like that, my appearance was flawless. When she went on to manicure my nails like a pro, I just accepted it as par for the course.

“Master, one last thing.”

Mei handed me a small palm-sized box. Inside was a wristwatch.

“It’s a gift. Please try it on.”

I put it on. Knowing Mei, I braced for it being some ultra-expensive luxury watch, but it didn’t look that flashy. It was a wooden-toned, understated design, not dripping with gems. Maybe it’s secretly super pricey, but I wouldn’t know.

Even I could tell it was a high-quality watch, though.

“This is an awesome watch. Why give it to me?”

“Is there a problem with me giving my Master a gift?”

“No problem at all. Thank you.”