I Went Into the Mountains to Commit Suicide and Picked Up an All-Purpose Perverted Maid Who Loves Serving Her Master

Chapter 17: Reunion

The day of the middle school reunion finally arrived.

Mei had groomed me to perfection, and I headed to the venue—a large izakaya.

We went by car, Mei’s sleek black ultra-luxury sedan. She drove. Turns out, Mei has a driver’s license! Her ID listed her name as Mei Watanuki (綿貫芽衣). After showing it to me, she said, “It’s very well-made, so no one will notice unless they dig deep. Don’t worry.”

…She’s joking, right? No way it’s forged. Right?

Going to the reunion in Mei’s fancy car would’ve been too conspicuous, so I had her drop me off a short distance away. By the way, her driving was flawless. The forged ID thing was definitely a joke. Yep.

Inside the venue, about half the seats were already filled. Some faces vaguely rang a bell, while others were complete mysteries—especially the women. Back in middle school, none of them wore makeup, but now they all did. It made it hard to recognize anyone.

But one woman stood out: Kyōka Azuma, the reason I ended up coming to this reunion after running into her. She spotted me quickly and came over.

“Yamanaka-kun, you made it!”

“Of course.”

I didn’t mention how I’d agonized over whether to come. We sat near each other, chatting casually. Then someone else approached.

The worst. The one guy I didn’t want to see. Of course you showed up, Mukai.

“Azuma-san, it’s been a while. How’ve you been?”

Mukai put on a gentlemanly act as he spoke to her.

“Oh, Mukai-kun, you came too!”

“Naturally. …You showed up too, huh, Yamanaka? I figured you’d be dead in a ditch somewhere. Got some nerve showing your face.”

He glanced at me, sneering with contempt.

“Yeah, well.”

I mustered all my bravado to spit out a single reply. I can’t stand this guy. He bullied me in middle school, and even as adults, I’ve got no good memories of him. I’d rather not talk.

He seemed to feel the same, ignoring me to focus on Azuma, chatting her up aggressively.

She deflected his boasting with polite smiles. Meanwhile, more people arrived, and the reunion’s start time approached.

The former class president, one of the organizers, gave a toast, and the reunion kicked off. Food and drinks were served.

“Alright, everyone, let’s do introductions again. I want to hear what you’re all up to. I’ll start.”

After some eating and drinking, the class president suggested it. He introduced himself, revealing he’s a mid-level employee at a major company, doing fairly well. Others followed, sharing their names and jobs—many were company workers or had taken over family businesses.

But one guy stood out: a quiet type from our class who’d started his own company and become a CEO. The room buzzed with excitement. No one expected it from someone so unassuming back then.

Next, Azuma, sitting near me, introduced herself. “I’m a news anchor.” Everyone already knew, but the room erupted anyway. Honestly, half the people here probably came just to see her.

Then Mukai, also nearby, went. “I’m the next president.” But following Azuma, it fell flat. Besides, he’d been bragging since middle school about inheriting his grandfather’s company, so it wasn’t news.

Maybe annoyed that his intro didn’t get much reaction, Mukai turned to me, visibly irritated.

“Your turn, Yamanaka. What’re you doing now, huh? After getting fired from my family’s company, what are you? A NEET?”

Ugh. He hit where it hurts. I used to work at his family’s company but got sacked. Now I’m a kept man. No way I’m saying that here. I scrambled for an answer.

“Uh… an investor, I guess?”

“Investor? Pfft, come on, be honest—NEET, right? Or maybe a part-timer? Haha, ‘investor,’ you—”

“No way, it’s true!”

Right as Mukai was about to mock me, the CEO classmate suddenly shouted.

“I knew the name Itsuki Yamanaka sounded familiar! I had a hunch, and I was right! The genius investor Itsuki Yamanaka! It’s really you! I’m thrilled to meet you!”

He rushed over, grabbing my hand for a handshake. I shook it reflexively.

“Whoa, what’s with you?”

“Don’t you guys know!? Itsuki Yamanaka is the hottest genius investor right now! Every stock he buys skyrockets. Just rumors of him buying can send stock prices wild!”

…Huh?