I Went Into the Mountains to Commit Suicide and Picked Up an All-Purpose Perverted Maid Who Loves Serving Her Master

Chapter 15: Playtime

After that incident, what happened to Yui’s childhood friend?

Apparently he wasn’t actually arrested. The police and Mei reported the matter to his parents, and it was settled out of court. Mei got a decent settlement sum, which his parents paid upfront. The guy now has to work part-time jobs to pay them back.

He was apparently scolded to death by his parents for “punching a beautiful girl like Mei.” Well, he never meant to hit Mei in the first place. If she hadn’t stepped in, it would’ve been me eating that fist.

I thought arrest was overkill, but that’s only because Mei didn’t get hurt and acted completely unfazed. In reality, punching a woman and walking away scot-free is unacceptable. The guy should be grateful it ended with a settlement.

And just like that, the story of a random dude suddenly trying to punch me came to an end.

※

Today I went to another job interview. It went terribly.

It was one of those infamous pressure interviews: the interviewer kept hammering my flaws with a condescending attitude. I already know my own shortcomings without anyone pointing them out.

No qualifications, no experience, long unemployment period, all at my age. There’s really nothing I can do about it. Even with labor shortages, no company seems willing to hire me. Feeling pretty down, I headed home.

“I’m home.”

“Welcome back♡”

Mei was waiting at the entrance with a bright smile and immediately hugged me.

“Are you okay? Want to grope my boobs?”

“…Huh?”

“You looked really depressed, Master. I read online that when men are down, this is the best medicine.”

“From who?”

“The Internet.”

The Internet, huh. Well, today I’ll gratefully take the Internet’s advice.

“Can I really touch them?”

“Yes, as much as you like.”

I fondled Mei’s big, soft breasts until I calmed down.

※

“Master, why not just give up on working? If it makes you this depressed, you don’t need a job. I’ll provide all the money.”

After I’d calmed down from the boob therapy, Mei said that.

“No. I’m going to work.”

I answered with firm resolve.

I finally understood: being a full-time kept man requires a special kind of talent.

The ability to laze around all day doing nothing and not feel guilty about it.

To watch Mei and Yui working hard while you contribute nothing and not care.

To ignore society’s cold stares at an unemployed bum.

That kind of mental toughness is required. Unfortunately, I don’t have it right now.

When everyone else is working and you’re the only one slacking, it actually wears on you. You start feeling like you should do something too.

“I see. Then how about we all play a little to cheer you up? It’ll lift your spirits.”

“Play? What kind of play?”

When I asked, Mei left the room and came back pushing a cart loaded with thick stacks of cash. I don’t even want to know how much it is.

“You’re telling me to blow all this money and go wild?”

“No, this money is just a prop for the game we’re about to play.”

Money as a prop…? What does that mean?

The lights dimmed, mood lighting kicked in, and upbeat, heart-racing music started playing.

“Please drink this while you wait. We still need a little more preparation.”

Mei poured champagne, arranged some fruit, then disappeared again. What on earth is about to start?

I sipped my drink and waited.

Then Mei and Yui came in wearing super-revealing bikini-style outfits and started dancing seductively right in front of me.

They danced their way over to the sofa, sat on both sides of me, and pressed their bodies against me.

This is… sexy cabaret club role-play!?

“Come on, Master. Put the money in our outfits. In places like this, it’s common sense to tip the dancers.”

So the cash was for tips.

I timidly slipped a bill into Mei’s cleavage.

“Master, what kind of shy insertion is that? You’re obviously new at this. Watch: this is how you tip a dancer.”

She grabbed my hand holding the bill and shoved it deep into her top, making me grope her breast directly.

“The whole reason to tip is to get away with sexual harassment. If you’re not going to touch breasts or ass while slipping in the money, what’s the point? Go ahead, do it properly with Yui too.”

“B-But is it really okay to go all out?”

I checked just in case.

“Yui, can I put it in?”

“Put in lots and lots♡”

Since she said that, I slipped bills into Yui’s top. She grabbed my hand and pressed it hard against her chest.

“Ah♡ Nnh♡ Amazing♡ If you like me that much, put in way more♡”

Yui tilted her head cutely and begged. So I kept stuffing money in, groping her breasts and ass freely.

It was insanely fun.

“Ahn♡ More, give me more♡”

And that’s how we spent the evening playing sexy cabaret club at home.

I’m definitely curious about the real thing now. Though in a real club, touching this much would probably get me kicked out—or arrested.