Chapter 17: Shuffle Change

An empty classroom, tinged with a faint melancholy, also brought with it a strange sense of tension.

The voices of students in the middle of P.E. class, audible from outside, only intensified the illicit thrill of sneaking into the deserted room.

I slipped into the classroom through the rear door, which had been left open. Maybe I didn’t need to be so stealthy in an empty room, but a teacher could pass by in the hall at any moment. Better safe than sorry.

I moved in a crouch, hiding behind desks. Along the way, I passed my own seat—the one with the “Momoyama” sticker on the back of the chair—and headed for my target desk.

Why was I acting like a ninja in my own classroom? For that, there’s a reason deeper than the sea.

It happened during P.E. today.

For once, it was a rare co-ed class, and we were playing soccer.

“Hey! Momoyama! Pass! Pass! HEEEY!”

Shin-chan was desperately calling for the ball. So cute.

But, I’m sorry, Shin-chan. Every single spot you’ve positioned yourself in so far has been exquisitely useless.

Shin-chan moved more intensely than anyone, panting and running all over the field, but since the game started, he still hadn’t touched the ball even once. It was like he was the only one running a marathon in the middle of a soccer match.

The way he shouted louder than anyone else was just so incredibly endearing. Cute. I love him.

But that pass was still impossible. I sent the ball to Chiba-san instead.

Perhaps feeling sorry for Shin-chan, Chiba-san took the ball, deliberately dribbled over to him, skillfully dodged an opponent, and passed it right to him.

A perfect spot, right in front of the goal. Offsides… no! This was Shin-chan’s one and only, his greatest chance to shine today!

“Uwoooaaaaahhhh!” Shin-chan roared as he sprinted toward the ball. It was the first time I’d ever seen someone actually shout while playing soccer in real life.

But this is great! Shin-chan’s marathon record is about to come to an end. He’s finally joining the ranks of the soccer players.

Catching up to the gently rolling ball, Shin-chan swung his leg back for a mighty kick.

“Go fooooor it!”

His foot swung down with tremendous force, and then—

“Ah. He whiffed.”

Shin-chan’s foot sliced through the air right next to the nearly stationary ball, and his personal marathon continued.

Immediately after, the whistle blew, signaling the end of the game.

Shin-chan, looking utterly dejected, plodded from the field toward the school building. The fact that he’d been practicing his ‘goal celebration pose’ before the match made it all the more painful to watch.

Ah, so cute… no, so pitiful!

As his future wife, I have to be the one to comfort him!

I started to approach Shin-chan.

But, in the next instant.

My vision warped as if it were twisting. At the same time, my libido began to boil and rampage, and a deep, primal part of me began to throb intensely.

W-What?! What is this?! This is bad! Shin-chan is… he’s emitting a pheromone that destroys a woman’s sense of reason!

It made sense, in a way.

Shin-chan had been running a one-man soccer marathon! He must have been sweating more than anyone. I must have inhaled the scent of that sweat and gotten completely intoxicated on his scent.

One by one, the girls around Shin-chan collapsed into a crouch. When someone gets ‘Shin-chan-drunk,’ their libido spikes so sharply the world spins, and an intense throbbing between their legs makes it impossible to stand. Completely oblivious to how dangerous he was, Shin-chan, now cloaked in an aura of eros, returned to the classroom, leaving a trail of aroused girls in his wake.

And then, Shin-chan changed out of his gym clothes and back into his uniform, and the eros-aura incident was over—

—or so it seemed.

But the eros inside me was not finished.

My inner eros was screaming for love from the center of my being.

I want to smell it again!

And if I’m lucky, I want to bury my face in the armpit of his gym uniform and take a deep, long whiff!

That desire grew stronger by the second, until finally, I lost control and decided to commit the crime.

After school would be too late, since Shin-chan would pack his gym clothes away in his bag. I had to inhale the essence before then.

That’s when I set my sights on the fifth-period elective class, which required us to move classrooms. During electives, everyone goes to their chosen class, leaving classroom 2-D completely empty.

If I remembered correctly, Shin-chan had Music. I had Art.

The art teacher had a hands-off policy, so I knew I wouldn’t be missed if I slipped out for a bit.

And so, here I was, in this empty classroom, stealthily making my way toward Shin-chan’s desk.

Almost there! Just a little more, and the gym bag hanging on the side of that desk—that legally-obtained erotic artifact—will be mine!

Pant… pant…

I could hear my own ragged breathing. Like a starving predator before a slab of meat, I wiped away the drool that was about to drip from my lips with the back of my hand. Things were getting damp down below, too; my panties were already cold.

Okay! It’s in reach!

I stretched out my hand and seized the gym bag. A legendary treasure. The Lost Ark. A dangerous item that, once held, could grant its wielder dominion over the entire world (of women).

With this OOPArt in my grasp, I was filled with a sense of omnipotence.

Now, for a quick sniff… I tried to pull the bag toward me, but failed. Someone was pulling on it from the other side of the desk. Crouching and hiding just like me was a gyaru, gripping the gym bag tightly.

“Chiba-san?!”

“Momoyama-san?!”

Our voices overlapped.

No way! I can’t believe someone else had the same idea!

“Excuse me, Chiba-san? Could you let go of that?”

I threatened her, yanking on the gym clothes.

“You should be the one letting go, Momoyama-san. I need this to suppress my… condition!”

Chiba-san’s eyes were bloodshot as she pulled back on the bag. She looked like a total junkie.

“Well, I need it too, or this throbbing between my legs and this shaking won’t stop!”

I pulled back, not about to lose.

The black dragon printed on the gym bag, the kind of thing a chuuni would love, stretched sideways until it looked like a tsuchinoko.

It was right then, as Chiba-san and I were locked in our desperate struggle, that it happened.

Suddenly, a voice came from the direction of the teacher’s desk.

“What are you two doing with my gym bag…?”

And there he was, Suda Shinichi himself, standing on the platform with a strained look on his face!

“Shin-chan, what are you doing here?!” I cried out, my voice trembling. Chiba-san pointed a shaky finger at him. “Shinichi-kun! It’s supposed to be elective period right now!”

“I could say the exact same thing to you,” Shin-chan said, walking toward us.

Chiba-san was the first to try and explain.

Idiot, don’t! But I wasn’t fast enough to stop her.

“It’s not what it looks like, Shinichi-kun! I need this for my chronic arousal condition! I have no ulterior motives!”

“What the hell is a chronic arousal condition?! Stop talking about being horny like it’s some kind of seizure!”

Just as I expected, Chiba-san became the target of Shin-chan’s sharp retort.

In that brief moment, while Shin-chan was distracted with his comeback, I noticed he was hiding something behind his back.

“Shin-chan, what are you hiding?”

“Huh?! Wha—? Nothing? There’s nothing here?”

Wheeeew, Shin-chan whistled, terribly. Way too suspicious.

I sent Chiba-san a signal with just my eyes.

She gave a solemn nod, then deftly maneuvered herself halfway behind Shin-chan and snatched what he was holding.

“…Gym clothes?”

What Shin-chan had been hiding was, of all things, my gym uniform.

A heavy silence fell over the room.

A moment later, my thoughts started to catch up.

(Wait? Why? Huh? Why would Shin-chan have my gym clothes—)

My mind, on the verge of total confusion, suddenly caught fire as the full realization hit me.

Noooooo!

Please, stop! They definitely stink! I was sweating like crazy!

I’m happy that my gym clothes got you worked up, Shin-chan! It means you see me as a woman, and that makes me really happy, okay?

But this is a completely different story! I want to smell your scent, but I don’t want anyone, not even you, smelling mine!

A girl’s sweat stinks, Shin-chan!

“No! It’s not what you think! This is! It’s for my chronic arousal condition!” Shin-chan blurted out an excuse that sounded vaguely familiar. The comeback he’d just made had turned into a perfect boomerang.

I shot Shin-chan a look of contempt as I grabbed and pulled at my Hello Kitty gym bag.

“You’ve got no right to be looking at me like that!”

I had no idea what Shin-chan was talking about.

With my left hand, I was in a tug-of-war with Chiba-san over Shin-chan’s gym bag, and with my right, I was in another with Shin-chan over mine.

We were at a stalemate.

It was Shin-chan who broke the three-way deadlock.

“Alright! I get it! Fine! Then let’s do this!”

As he spoke, Shin-chan used his free hand to grab the gym bag hanging from the hook on the side of Chiba-san’s desk.

Then, he skillfully opened the bag with one hand and dumped Chiba-san’s gym clothes out onto his desk. A white short-sleeved shirt and navy buruma.

Chiba-san blushed, looking embarrassed. And who could blame her? Having your sweaty gym clothes spread out on a desk for all to see would mortify anyone.

But Shin-chan didn’t seem to care.

“We’ll put everyone’s gym clothes on the desk like this and mix them all up. Then, one by one, we close our eyes and draw one piece at a time.”

“This isn’t a card game,” I said, giving him a sideways glance, but I was ignored. He just tunes out whatever he doesn’t want to hear. That’s so you, Shin-chan.

“I see. It’s completely random, so no hard feelings,” Chiba-san nodded, her face still a little red.

“No, it’s not ‘I see.’ There’s nothing to see here. Nothing about this is remotely acceptable.”

Chiba-san looked to Shin-chan for a verdict, and he responded with a silent shake of his head, as if to say, ‘Don’t bother with her.’ Following his lead, Chiba-san ignored me.

My opinion was officially disregarded, and the gym-clothes-shuffle-change was a go.

(Okay, calm down. The uniform is two pieces, top and bottom, so I have two chances. I’d really like to get Shin-chan’s shirt, but the shorts would be fine, too. The ideal scenario is that Chiba-san gets Shin-chan’s clothes, and I get Shin-chan’s.)

Once all the clothes were on the desk, without discussing who would go first, Shin-chan closed his eyes and started feeling around for a piece.

“My turn… Draw!”

♦︎

The result was an even split, a shared pain.

I got Shin-chan’s shirt, which I’d longed for, and got my own buruma back.

Chiba-san got Shin-chan’s shorts and her own shirt back.

And Shin-chan ended up with my shirt and Chiba-san’s buruma, looking mighty pleased with himself.

Come to think of it, Shin-chan was the only one who couldn’t lose!

Whether he got mine or Chiba-san’s, his libido would be satisfied, and if he got his own back, he wouldn’t have to worry about us using his clothes, so in a way, that was also a win.

We were completely played!

But even that sneaky, underhanded side of him is cute!

I really hated the idea of my shirt ending up in Shin-chan’s hands, but rules were rules. I had no choice but to accept it.

As per our initial agreement, we would each ‘rent’ the clothes until after school, and with that, our little meeting was adjourned.

However, when fifth period ended and everyone returned to the classroom, something unexpected happened.

Kadono-sensei, the P.E. teacher, came to classroom 2-D and announced in a loud voice:

“We’re behind schedule on the creative dance for P.E., so sixth period today will be P.E. effective immediately. Once you’ve changed into your gym clothes, girls head to the gym, and boys to the martial arts hall.”

I never could have predicted we’d have to use our gym clothes again.

Logically, the best choice would be to cancel the rental agreement and return the clothes to their rightful owners.

Shin-chan must have thought so, too. He was trying to tell me something with his eyes.

I gave Shin-chan a sweet little smile—

—and then broke into a dead sprint.

Because, because, because!

There’s no way I’m giving up Shin-chan’s gym clothes!

Once you get your hands on a national treasure like this, you can’t just let it go!

I’m gonna wear this for the creative dance~❤︎

It even has the ‘Suda’ name tag sewn on it, so I can show everyone that I’ve ‘borrowed my boyfriend’s shirt❤︎’! Two birds with one stone!

I glanced back and saw that Chiba-san was also making a mad dash for it.

And beyond her, I could see Shin-chan, on his knees, head bowed, radiating an aura of pure sorrow.

♦︎

“Suda. Why are you wearing buruma?”

Kadono-sensei is a good teacher.

He doesn’t just yell at you; he asks for a reason first.

And this time was no different.

With a slightly twitching face, he questioned me carefully. In the martial arts hall, the attention of every single boy in the class was fixed on me—or rather, on the buruma.

“Sensei. I don’t like to stand out.”

“Suda. You are standing out. You, or rather, those buruma.”

I wagged my finger. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. That’s why you’ll never be more than just a Kadono.”

“Suda. Don’t use my name like it’s an insult.”

I stood up and spread my arms wide. “Sensei, do you know what one must do to avoid standing out?”

“For starters, not wear buruma?” the teacher said, looking exasperated.

I ignored his nonsensical remark and continued. “To hide a tree, you use a forest. So, if you want to hide in a world full of girls, what do you do? …………This is the answer.”

“Suda. I hate to say this, but you’re not hiding at all. Before you cross-dress, you need to do something about that… prominent… feature… in your… lower… half… Suda.”

I wish he wouldn’t say it like it’s some kind of underage proclamation.

Is he talking about ‘getting off at school’?

It can’t be helped that my soldier Johnny, a member of the lower-half army, is pressing his face against the buruma, screaming ‘Let me out of here!’ as if he’s been locked away in a prison cell.

I mean, this is Momoyama’s shirt, after all.

This is insane! It’s thoroughly soaked in Momoyama’s sweat, slightly damp and cool to the touch. I’m constantly enveloped in her rich scent; it feels like I’m being held by a naked Momoyama under the covers!

And the buruma are erotic in their own way, damp with Chiba’s sweat.

The thought that Chiba’s sweat is soaked into the crotch area… I just can’t contain my excitement.

I’m equipped with items like these.

It’s only natural that Soldier Johnny stands at attention.

Growing impatient with the lack of progress in class, I couldn’t just stand by. I went and stood next to the teacher, my tent pitched, and turned to face my classmates.

“Now, it’s time to dance!”

“Could you not just start without me…?” Kadono-sensei let out a tired voice, but I ignored him.

I danced. I danced furiously.

I performed a sharp, solo dance, a prominent bulge in my buruma.

When the dance was over, I wasn’t alone. I looked back, and at some point, several boys had joined in as my backup dancers.

When it was finished, they smiled at each other and came up to me, asking for a high-five. “We really did it,” they said. “You were laying down a sick beat.”

And I thought.