Chapter 18: Virtual Reality

A low whirring sound droned on from the machine spread across the desk in the student council office. Everyone pointedly ignored it, silently dedicating themselves to their own work.

Having run out of patience with the lack of a reaction, Misaki-chan shot up from her seat, kicking her chair back.

“Everyone! I brought a fun game, won’t you play it with me?”

Five more headsets were spread out on the desk. One of them brazenly occupied the space on top of the notebook I had open. I could feel Misaki-chan’s enthusiasm, a palpable “You are absolutely going to play this game!” The atmosphere was no longer one where we could say no.

“Is that a VR game?” I asked, only for Momoyama to cut in from the side.

“What’s VR, Shin-chan?”

“It’s short for Virtual Reality. You play inside a virtual space created by a computer.”

“This machine is a prototype I developed myself. It’s a super-rare item that’s not on the market yet! Its main selling point is, without a doubt, the five senses link system! Your physical body remains in a state similar to sleep, continuing its vital functions, while only your consciousness is transported to the virtual world. This allows you to play with nearly all five of your human senses intact!”

“What kind of out-of-place artifact is that?”

Just who is this Misaki-chan, to be able to create such an incredible machine?

I shot a look of utter disgust at my kouhai, who was mumbling “O-P-Artifact, O-P-Artifact” next to me.

Lately, her only role has been that of a simple pervert, but I just remembered that Misaki-chan is a genius. It had become nothing more than a background setting until now.

“You said five senses, but does that include the sense of pain?”

Kaoru-senpai asked, a worried look on her face. I get it. I’d rather not experience the excruciating pain of being decapitated by an enemy attack, thank you very much.

“Rest assured. All pain has been turned off, except for the pain of having your hymen torn.”

“Excuse me, but could you turn the hymen off too?!”

We absolutely do not need that pain function! Why are you assuming we’re going to be doing it in a virtual world?!

“I see. If the pain of the hymen is included, then I can rest easy,” Kaoru-senpai said, patting her chest in relief.

“What part of that is reassuring? Are you a pervert?”

“What are you talking about, Shinichi? A girl wants to cherish her first time. The pain is part of the package. You won’t stop even when I tell you it hurts, Shinichi, and I’ll be writhing and screaming… hehe, hehehehehe, what a thrill.”

“No, Kaoru-senpai, you’re the one who’s not making any sense. What in the world are you talking about?”

The president was the first to pick up a headset. “For now, why don’t we all give it a try?”

Following her lead, the others also began to put on their headsets.

When I picked one up, I was surprised by how light it was. It just rests on your forehead, so it doesn’t even obstruct your vision. It wasn’t uncomfortable to wear.

“It’s more stable if you lie face down on the desk like this.”

As Misaki-chan demonstrated, everyone else followed suit. I did the same, laying my head down and turning to the side.

My eyes met with Momoyama, who was lying face down toward me. She gave me a soft, gentle smile, and my heart skipped a beat.

Ever since the perverted bloomers-dancer incident, I feel like I’ve become a little too conscious of Momoyama.

It might be because I inhaled too much of her scent. It’s more dangerous than meth. An illegal body odor.

I felt a little awkward for some reason and escaped by closing my eyes.

I was sure I had closed my eyes, but they were open. A pitch-black, empty space. My consciousness had probably been transported to the virtual world. I couldn’t tell the boundary between reality and the virtual at all.

Looking around, I saw that everyone was there, looking exactly the same as they did in reality. Even though it was pitch black, I could see everyone clearly. It was a strange sensation.

“It doesn’t feel that out of place, does it?” said the president.

“My chest size is the same, too… I see.”

Kaoru-senpai unbuttoned the first and second buttons of her shirt to check.

Is this person trying to make herself busty during character creation? Kaoru-senpai was putting on a prim face, but she also looked a little disappointed.

“Everyone! The amazing part starts now!”

Misaki-chan turned back to us, her voice brimming with excitement.

I waited, my heart pounding, wondering what would happen.

Whoa, this is amazing! I can’t stop getting excited! Is this the tutorial? Normally, you’d expect some small-fry enemies to appear in a tutorial, right?

As I was doing some warm-up stretches to prepare for slimes, I suddenly noticed a shadow approaching us from the front.

I was dumbfounded.

What the hell is this thing…?

In a word, it was a monster. A monster, indeed. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to call it a demon. However, it was completely different from any monster I had ever imagined.

The one that stopped before us, standing at attention, was a boy who looked exactly like me. And he was completely naked.

No, the nakedness is fine for now. Well, it’s not fine, but there’s a mosaic over his groin, so I’ll turn a blind eye.

But there was something else that I could not forgive. A much more intense element that made this monster a monster.

Why the hell does this guy have a d*ck growing out of his nose…?

It’s not a schnoz! It’s a schlong!

It’s not Pinocchio! It’s Peen-occhio!

Instead of a nose, a rod-like object, like an elephant’s trunk or Pinocchio’s nose, was extending from his face!

No, comparing this to an elephant or Pinocchio would be rude to them. Neither elephants nor Pinocchio have such an obscene thing growing out of their noses.

So what is it? Is it a “two birds with one stone” situation where you can perform oral at the same time you do the deed? Great! you say? Shut the hell up!

What’s more, what really pisses me off is that while his groin is censored with a mosaic, the thing on his nose is uncensored. It’s right there in the open. Is he planning to push the narrative that ‘this is just a nose’?

“This is Penichi. He is the game master who manages this game. He is equipped with an advanced AI, so he thinks, speaks, and acts on his own.”

Yep, it’s a p*nis!

Judging by the name, it’s totally a p*nis!

You’re not getting away with saying ‘this is just a nose’ now, are you?

The president and the others gathered around Penichi, looking utterly fascinated. They stared at the object growing from his nose, letting out cries of admiration like “Ooh,” “I see,” and “Great!”

“Hey. Is this the corona?”

“Probably… yes.”

“I see… I had imagined it would be a bit more… defined.”

A group of beautiful girls intensely curious about male genitalia. What a messed-up scene. What do you mean, more defined?

“What are you doing, confirming the names of the parts?!”

When I admonished them, the president slowly turned around and answered with a bashful smile.

“Because if I asked, ‘You want the corona?’ during oral, Shin-chan, and got it wrong, that would be embarrassing, right?”

What is this little kid worried about…? I wish she’d realize there are other things she should be much more embarrassed about.

It’s no use. I’ll just leave these hopelessly perverted people alone.

I turned back to Misaki-chan to demand accountability.

“Hey, you, Misaki-chan. I’m going to need a thorough explanation as to why this monster looks like me!”

I pressed her.

“It is because I like you.”

Misaki-chan declared it without a moment’s hesitation, no pause at all. Her blue eyes, staring into mine, were slightly moist and alluring.

Cute.

But I’m not the kind of guy who can be deceived by something like that. I see beautiful girls every day. I have some resistance. I did not let up my pursuit.

“Then what’s the reason for the weird thing growing out of its nose?”

Misaki-chan looked down, averted her gaze, and blushed.

“……Because I like it, that is.”

Huh, what’s with that reaction?! Does that mean you like me? Or do you like my Soldier Johnny?

No, either way, there’s no need to connect it to a nose! Your sensibilities are insane!

This one’s a lost cause too!

“HEY, YOU! DO NOT TROUBLE MY HONEY!”

Penichi cut in between me and Misaki-chan with a voice that you’d probably write in all caps if this were a novel.

If this were a novel, the author would surely be thinking, ‘Writing this guy’s dialogue is a pain in the ass.’

“FROM NOW ON, I WILL… Hnngh! From now on, I will randomly transport you to a cursed, abandoned hospital.”

He adjusted it!

He adjusted it for the sake of an author who doesn’t even exist!

(He exists.)

“An abandoned hospital? Does that mean… this is a horror game?”

Momoyama said with a frown.

“Oh? Did I not mention it? This is a VR horror-action game.”

A horror game, huh…

I’m not particularly good with ghosts or zombies, but right now, Penichi, the creature right in front of me, is far scarier. Penichi, a creature of madness created by a mad scientist, is scarier.

Penichi apparently has a habit of shaking his head slightly when he talks. Because of that, the thing in question is bobbing and weaving all over the place. I can’t focus on his explanation.

“If you sprinkle the salt of purification, located somewhere within the hospital, on the ‘Promised Coffin,’ you will clear the game.”

This might actually be a little fun.

Alright, I’ll be the first one to clear it!

As I psyched myself up, Penichi’s next words left me speechless.

“This is a virtual world. Nothing that happens here will affect your physical body. E-v-e-n i-f y-o-u h-a-v-e s-e-x, it will not be reflected on your real-world body. So please, relax and enjoy yourselves.”

I see.

I CAN’T RELAX AT ALL!

Why is the example sex?! Normally you’d just say ‘even if you die’ or something!

The number of dangerous enemies just increased by four, and this is before we even get to the ghosts and zombies!

And the look in all four of their eyes has changed!

Misaki-chan is even having a revelation, like, “I never thought of that…!”

“Penichi, you bastard, you just had to say that, didn’t you!”

“404 Not Found. The requested page (URL) could not be located.”

“Hey, don’t think you can get away with this by acting like a machine!”

Damn it. Now that it’s come to this, the only way to avoid being ambushed at the goal is to be the first one to clear the game.

A death game with an absurdly high difficulty was about to begin.

“And now, let the game start!”

To be continued