Chapter 1: My Daily Life

“And that… is why.”

The student council president, Tomomi Saijou-senpai, slammed both hands on her desk.

No one had said a word, yet the President had suddenly moved to wrap things up. What exactly was she wrapping up? Her own thoughts? Did she just finish summarizing a delusion from inside her own head?

The President’s milk-tea-colored hair swayed. Cut neatly at her shoulders, it gave her a pure and innocent look. But it wasn’t just her hairstyle that was innocent. The President was so baby-faced and tiny, you’d never guess she was a third-year. If she weren’t in a uniform, you’d mistake her for an elementary schooler.

“I think we should pass a bill by majority vote: from now on, boys will spend their breaks resting on a girl’s lap!”

The President raised her right hand and declared it loud and proud.

Her expression was completely serious, despite the absurdity of what she was saying. Which meant, in a nutshell, that the President was a serious person. She was seriously spouting nonsense. She was a serious idiot.

“Whoa, hold on! What do you mean, ‘I think we should’?! What is this brain-dead bill?!”

“Brain-dead is a rude thing to say! The one who says ‘brain-dead’ is the one who’s brain-dead!”

“No, that comeback is already proof of brain-deadness.”

“Ah, you said it again! You’re a jerk, Shin-chan! A pervert! A vienna sausage!”

“Who are you calling a vienna sausage?!”

“Now, now, now,” Haruka Momoyama interjected.

“Let’s just all agree to be vienna sausages here, okay?”

“I don’t even have one…”

“And I am not a vienna sausage!”

Momoyama is in my grade and serves as the student council’s secretary.

Her gently curled, pink hair hangs over her red-framed glasses, giving her a slightly sensual look. Behind those glasses, her languid eyes speak to a calm personality.

But in this world, underestimating someone just because they seem calm will get you seriously hurt.

Because, despite all appearances, she is my dedicated stalker. Calling it “dedicated” doesn’t make it any cooler; a stalker is a stalker. She makes a living digging through my trash and taking secret pictures of me. In short, she’s a messed-up person.

“Look, let’s just think about this normally for a second. If you’re on someone’s lap, they can see everything you’re doing. You open your phone, and your screen is in plain sight. This is a clear invasion of privacy!”

Having my phone monitored constantly is the last thing I want.

There’s no way I can let a bill like this pass. I let my words fly, my tone sharp.

Just then, Misaki-chan timidly raised her hand in front of her chest.

“Senpai. It’s okay. Your phone has already been hacked, so it’s not that different from the current situation.”

“Hey, hold it right there! What happened to my right to privacy?!”

I had no idea my phone was already being monitored. Thinking it was pointless, I turned my phone off anyway.

She is the public relations officer, Misaki Yamanaka, a junior one year below me.

Her translucent, pale-blonde hair is all natural. Misaki-chan is half, with a Finnish mother and a Japanese father.

She has the chiseled features and blue eyes of a Northern European, but her cheeks, dyed the color of cherry blossoms, trace a soft curve, blending a certain youthfulness into her beauty.

Misaki-chan is strong with mechs and IT, and she casually throws around dangerous terms like “hacking” and “cracking,” but whether she’s actually doing it or just joking is unclear.

“Shinichi. A boy shouldn’t use words like ‘hey, hold it right there’!”

“That’s what you’re focused on?! Wasn’t there something else?! Something of a more criminal nature?!” I shot up from my chair as I spoke.

The one who offered this completely off-topic scolding was the treasurer and third-year, Kaoru Kikuchi-senpai.

Her single-length black hair and sharp, upturned eyes give off a cool vibe, but don’t be fooled.

This senpai is a huge masochist.

Can you imagine how it feels when the cool senpai you respect suddenly asks you, “Would you mind whipping my butt with this?” I can. It’s called despair.

“Well, anyway, we’ll just put you down as ‘opposed,’ Shin-chan. Okay? Just sit down.”

The President, who had somehow gotten behind me, stood on her tiptoes, placed her hands on my shoulders, and pushed me firmly back into my seat.

Then she came pitter-pattering around to my front and, with a cute little hop that you could almost hear a pyon sound effect for, jumped onto my lap.

The sensation of the President’s butt nearly made my own little soldier stand at attention, but I suppressed him with an iron will.

If he were to stand up now, he would make contact with the President’s rear. That had to be avoided at all costs. Mayday, mayday. We have a situation down there.

The President, sitting on top of me, began to take a vote.

“Okay. One opposed, four in favor—”

” ” “HEY, WAIT JUST A MINUTE!” ” “

The voices of Kaoru-senpai, Momoyama, and Misaki-chan overlapped.

“What do you think you’re doing, casually sitting on Shin-chan-senpai’s lap? Are you an idiot? Are you trying to pick a fight?”

Misaki-chan, the youngest of them all, laid into the third-year President without a hint of hesitation.

“That’s right! Tomomi, don’t you dare say you’ve forgotten the Student Council’s secret rules!”

Kaoru-senpai added, glaring daggers at the President.

The Student Council’s secret rules? What are those? Sounds terrifying.

“President! That’s a foul! You get a red card! You’re ejected from the game!”

Even the normally placid Momoyama’s face was flushed with anger, her gentle eyes now sharp and upturned. My own fear gauge had long since maxed out. “An enraged stalker”—you’d be hard-pressed to find a more terrifying combination of words.

Momoyama pulled a whistle out of her pocket and blew it. The way her cheeks puffed out was cute. She’s a stalker, but she’s cute.

“GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!”

At Momoyama’s command, Kaoru-senpai and Misaki-chan sprang into action. By the way, how did we go from a referee with a whistle to a SWAT team?

The President was lifted up by the three of them and, screaming “Noooooo!”, was unceremoniously carried away.

I wonder where they’re going to dump her. I can only pray it isn’t a river.

And just like that, I was left all alone.

Since I’ve been left behind, I might as well tell my story up to this point.

I am not from this world.

I’m what you’d call a person from another world.

I was just a perfectly ordinary, run-of-the-mill high school student, but one day I got caught in a car accident, and the curtain abruptly fell on my life.

—Or so it should have.

But for some reason, I woke up. It wasn’t heaven, or the realm of a god, or anything where I’d be granted some cheat ability.

It was just an unfamiliar room.

When I looked in the mirror, a boy with sleepy-looking eyes stared back. Messy black hair, a thin frame, and short stature.

Who is this guy?

I was speechless at the sight of this person so far removed from my familiar self. Thinking it couldn’t be, I tried out every single pose from the Ginyu F*rce. The shorty in the mirror copied my movements without the slightest deviation.

It was when I struck Burter’s pose that I was finally able to accept it—or rather, resign myself to it.

This guy is me…

It’s me.

Why.

Why couldn’t you have made me handsome?

Unforgivable.

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”

With a calm and pure heart, I let my furious rage burn.

—But nothing happened. My hair didn’t even turn gold.

Resigned, I decided to compromise and accept this face.

When I went to the living room, I was met by a self-proclaimed mother and a self-proclaimed older sister who called me “Shin-chan” and spoiled me rotten.

At this point, I understood that I had possessed the body of a person named “Shin-chan.”

But I didn’t panic. If it was possession, then sooner or later I’d be expelled, the original personality would return, and I would depart for heaven or wherever. Or maybe a god would show up and say, “My bad, here’s a cheat ability as an apology.” With my characteristic optimism, I spent my days living a relaxed life.

And so, three years have passed since I started living that daily life.

I, who was in my second year of middle school back then, have now proudly become a second-year in high school.

It seems the possession isn’t wearing off. Goddammit!

Living this daily life, I’ve come to understand a few things.

That this world has an unbalanced population with a 1-to-20 male-to-female ratio, and that the roles of chastity between men and women are reversed.

That many of the boys are cold toward the girls.

That the “Shin-chan” from before I possessed him, Shinichi Suda, was a very standoffish person.

That in this world, polygyny is permitted, and society generally doesn’t condemn men for two-timing.

And so on.

If I was going to be sent to another world anyway, I would’ve wanted a world of swords and magic where I could use cheat abilities and be totally OP.

And what’s more, even though I came to a world full of girls, I wasn’t handsome, I wasn’t athletic, and I wasn’t particularly sharp. I was just an ordinary guy, even in another world. Honestly, it’s a letdown. Shinichi-kun, you’re a real disappointment!

—And yet, despite all that.

It was April, when I was promoted to my second year.

I was abducted and taken to the student council room by the current president, Tomomi Saijou-senpai, and the current treasurer, Kaoru Kikuchi-senpai.

Saijou-senpai locked the door behind her back.

What is this? This is scary.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! What’s going on?! What are you doing? I really needed to use the bathroom!”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Trifling matters like the bathroom can wait. You’re going to listen to what we have to say first.”

Saijou-senpai wagged her tiny finger and grinned. It was a mix of annoying and cute. Amazing.

It seemed Saijou-senpai and the others had zero intention of considering my circumstances. The bathroom is not a trifling matter. It’s actually quite urgent.

“As of today, you are the student council vice president. Congratulations!” Kikuchi-senpai applauded.

Saijou-senpai followed suit.

“Yay, clap clap clap!”

It was a minor detail, but there was something endearing about the way Saijou-senpai clapped her tiny hands.

“…Um, you’ve made a mistake. I never ran for office or anything.”

What a bunch of troublemakers. Getting the winner wrong—is this student council going to be okay? Well, at least now I can finally go to the bathroom.

But it seemed that wasn’t the case.

Saijou-senpai put her hands on her hips and announced proudly.

“No, it ishn’t a mishtake. It has offishially been deshided that you are the shtudent counshil vishe preshident. And here’s the proof.”

Ignoring her own slurred speech, the President pushed forward, presenting a document stamped with the principal’s official seal as if it were the shogun’s crest.

How can you have such a smug look on your face when you’re fumbling your words so badly? It’s a mystery.

I looked down at the document thrust before me.

It was, without a doubt, an official document.

Huh?! Why?! Why is this happening?! HUH?!

“No, no, no, no, this is crazy! Student council officers are supposed to be decided by an election after they declare their candidacy, right?!”

“Heh, heh, heh,” Saijou-senpai laughed. Annoying to the very end. Annoyingly cute.

“You’re right. The student council is decided by an election. That is correct. That is—how it was until last year!”

“Wh-what do you mean?!”

“You see, last year, we passed a certain bill, and it was officially approved. Any idea what it was?”

“Huh? Uh… Student—”

“—That bill is! The ‘Vice President by Recommendation and Confirmation’ bill!”

She asks a question and then doesn’t even bother to listen to the answer! This tiny President!

Kikuchi-senpai added a supplementary explanation.

“It means that among the student council officers, the vice president is nominated by the recommendation of the current officers, and is then officially added to the council upon a vote of confidence. We were officers last year, too, so we put your name forward.”

“It took a whole year to revise the system, so we couldn’t tap you until your second year, Shinichi-kun, but we’re looking forward to working with you,” Saijou-President said, holding out her tiny hand.

I was about to ask, “Why would you go so far as to change the system just for me?!” but I stopped myself.

If it was because of a crush or something, it was all too sudden and I wouldn’t know how to handle it. And if it wasn’t, well, that would be a letdown in its own way.

And that’s how I took the President’s hand and settled into the seat of student council vice president.

Little did I know, I had walked right into a den of absolute lunatics.

“They’re late.”

I’m getting tired of waiting… Maybe I’ll just go home.

There’s no way a ridiculous bill like that is going to pass anyway.

I stood up alone, grabbed my bag, and headed for the door—but stopped halfway, had a thought, and walked back toward my seat.

Phew, that was close. Almost forgot something important.

Gotta do what you gotta do.