I Came Back from the Dead, Quit Being a Holy Hero, and Just Wanna Shake My Hips in a Harem - Chapter 33: Three Choices

Chapter 33: Three Choices

Kokono hadn’t lied at all.

“Kikino’s my big sister. I’m her twin little sister, Kokono~.”

So there it was—she really was the twin sister.

No wonder. Their faces were identical, but even if both carried that otherworldly aura, Kokono gave off a fluffy, airheaded vibe. Kikino, on the other hand, barely spoke and always seemed wrapped in a quiet, mystical air.

Which only raised the bigger question—where was Kikino now?

“She set off on a journey~.”

That was Kokono’s carefree answer.

Just before the Divine Descent Rite, she’d gone off somewhere. Maybe it was connected to the ritual? That’s what I was thinking—until Kokono suddenly turned her curiosity on me instead.

“Haruya, where did you meet my big sister~?”

Crap. That one was on me. Acting like I was an old acquaintance had been a mistake.

I somehow dodged the question and slipped away from the scene.

“Haruya, Haruyaaa~.”

“Who’s that? I’m not Haruya.”

“Eh? Really…? A case of mistaken identity…? But you look exactly the same.”

“I’m his twin brother, Karuya.”

“Ohhh, his twin broth—wait, hey! I almost believed you there!!”

Kokono trailed after me with a big smile plastered on her face. I had to remind myself—don’t drop your guard, not even for a second.

She just kept on pestering me about where I’d met her big sister. Seriously, was she a siscon or something?

I ignored her chatter and kept walking until we reached the town’s main plaza.

It wasn’t just food stalls—there were performances everywhere.

On stage, shrine maidens swayed in ritual dances. People in giant Hokkoro masks wandered the streets, their wooden jaws clacking—supposedly, if one “bit” you, it brought good luck. Shooting games, string-lotteries, little amusements of every kind lined the plaza, all thanks to the upcoming Divine Descent Rite.

One booth even had a “Become a Shrine Maiden!” game where you used a fan to bat water balloons around.

As I wove through the crowd, Kokono looked like she was having trouble keeping up. With a sigh, I slowed down and matched her pace.

“Haruya, Haruyaaa~.”

“You really shouldn’t just follow random guys around, y’know.”

“But we already introduced ourselves! That makes us super close now—yay!”

“Even if you say ‘super close,’ we’re still just acquaintances.”

Unlike Lily or Filio, Kokono was all soft and floppy—way too harmless to push back on with any real weight…

So then I figured, maybe I’d try brushing her off with something more sexual—

“…By the way, what does masturbate mean~?”

Yeah. That.

She didn’t even know the bare basics of sex. Probably still believed babies were delivered by birds.

I wasn’t about to shove an erotic novel in front of a girl like that.

…Or at least, I hoped I wasn’t.

“…Kokono, you really don’t need to know about that yet.”

“But I’m already an adult, y’know~? I can tell it’s something naughty. Heehee~.”

Kokono grinned, clearly plotting something mischievous.

“…It’s not naughty at all. When you’re struggling or feeling down, it’s a noble ritual to comfort yourself and fire yourself back up.”

Yeah—when life crushed you flat, one good masturbation session was enough to make you face tomorrow again.

Sure, it couldn’t create life… but it could save at least one person.

Honestly, most of us were probably kept alive by our lower halves.

“So it’s a noble ritual, huh~.”

“Don’t go trying it carelessly, alright?”

“Then I’ll just ask someone else later~.”

“P-Please don’t… just imagining that is enough to wreck my stomach…”

Even with my heavy sigh, Kokono just stayed warm and fluffy.

She was far too defenseless.

“You really shouldn’t be hanging around someone who might be a bad guy.”

“Haruya, you’re definitely a good person. I can tell~.”

On what basis was she saying that?

Was it really just because she wanted to know more about her big sister, Kikino?

“…I only saw Kikino a few times, but…”

“Yeah, yeah! Tell me~!”

Kokono’s eyes lit up, sparkling as she leaned in eagerly.

“She was like someone who lived only to dance… Her dancing was mystical, flawless… that’s what a true shrine maiden should be.”

Even when monsters surrounded her, she never faltered. With her iron fan in hand, she just kept dancing—mystical, beautiful, transcending human limits.

So mystical, in fact… that she hardly felt human at all.

“As expected of my big sister~!”

Kokono looked absolutely delighted. I couldn’t figure out why she was so happy, but when I glanced at her, she just flashed me a soft, silly smile.

“Truth is~ I’m a clumsy, hopeless, dropout shrine maiden~.”

“…”

“Ahh! That face says ‘Yeah, I figured’! It’s fine, I’m used to it~.”

“You’re used to it?”

“Yep, totally~. That’s why my big sister Kikino is my pride and my idol. Whenever someone praises her, it makes me sooo happy too~.”

Kokono smiled like she was completely at peace.

A brilliant older sister and her dropout little twin—huh.

It looked genuine, but at the same time, I couldn’t help but feel she was brushing it off too easily.

…The townsfolk didn’t seem to treat her very warmly either. And in my past life, her sister had been skilled enough to become a full-fledged shrine maiden. Kokono must’ve been compared to her constantly.

Sure enough, my hunch was right. An elderly woman suddenly called out to her.

“Kokono, dear, just what are you doing out here?”

“Hmm? Yes, yes~ what is it~?”

Kokono bounced over, but the old woman gave me a wary glance before speaking.

“Do you really think you should be wandering around like this?”

“Spending time with the townspeople is important too~.”

“Then why are you with some outsider…?”

“Haruya’s a good person~!”

“Sigh… Kokono, dear, you need to be more careful. Don’t go getting involved with strange men at such an important time. Now, when it comes to your sister Kikino—”

Ahhh… so that’s how it always is for her, huh. Figures.

People tossed all kinds of words at Kokono, yet she just kept smiling cheerfully.

That smile alone said plenty about how her personality had been shaped—so I quit fooling around, quit wiggling my hips like an idiot.

Well… I’d been through similar stuff myself.

Which meant—it was my turn to show off a little.

“Heeey, hey! I can hear you loud and clear, y’know~!”

The old lady turned toward me, flustered, and let out a laugh.

“Oh my, did you hear all that?”

“Don’t go calling me some weird guy! I’m Kokono’s strongest bodyguard, got it~?”

“…Excuse me?”

She gave me that look—the one that said, you, really? with that attitude?

Ignoring it, I strutted right over to the “Become a Shrine Maiden!” game booth in the plaza.

I dropped some coins into the burly stall owner’s hand and asked:

“So, I can use any weapon I want for this?”

“Yeah, whatever you like. So, what difficulty you want, mister?”

“Crank it up to the absolute max.”

I grabbed a kids’ wooden sword from the stand, plastered a dumb grin on my face, and stepped into the middle of the game area.

A red circle, about a meter wide, was drawn on the ground—I wasn’t allowed to step outside it. The whole arena stretched maybe ten meters across, with little magic cannons set up around the perimeter. Looked like they were gonna shoot water balloons at me.

“You sure about max difficulty, mister?”

“No problem at a~all. After all, I’m the world’s strongest swordsman~.”

When I tossed out that cocky line with a goofy grin, the stall owner smirked like he was about to crank things up to the absolute limit.

Cheerful festival music blared to life.

The instant people heard “max difficulty,” a small crowd started gathering.

Well, whatever—Lily and Filio already knew what I could do, Kikino wasn’t around, and this was a foreign land anyway.

The tempo quickened—the game had begun.

From straight ahead, a magic cannon launched a pumpkin-sized water balloon at high speed.

I split it clean in half with the kids’ wooden sword.

Two more came from the sides—BAM, BAM!—slashed apart almost simultaneously.

Another one fired from behind, but without even turning, I flipped the grip along my back and—crack—burst it midair.

Each balloon popped like a water-filled pouch, spraying droplets everywhere—

And with every splash, the crowd around me swelled larger.

“Eh? Wait, what? That guy’s insane!”

“Is he some famous adventurer? Incredible…”

“Wow… so pretty… it’s like he’s dancing…”

The stall owner scrambled furiously with the controls, trying to make it harder—

But useless, useless!

After all, I had once been a Hero… and now I was a man chasing his harem dream!

Standing firm in the circle’s center, I barely shifted my body as I slashed apart balloon after balloon, not letting a single one through.

Finally, the last shot burst, scattering droplets into the air.

The music cut off, and when the crowd realized not a single drop had touched me—

They erupted in thunderous applause.

I answered their cheers with the same dopey grin and laid-back attitude as always.

“Thank you, thank you! I’m the protector of sweet, smiley Kokono—beloved by all—and the world’s strongest swordsman, Haruya Arden, at your service!”

The old lady from earlier was left completely dumbstruck.

Kokono, on the other hand, froze with her eyes wide and round… then, when our gazes met, she broke into a bright, happy smile.

Well… sometimes standing out wasn’t so bad.

〇〇〇

Some time later, in a certain mansion.

I sat quietly in a large tatami-lined room, positioned at the seat of honor.

Beside me, Kokono sat upright with her back perfectly straight, smiling cheerfully.

“This is the one who will be guarding me during the Divine Descent Rite… Sir Haruya Arden!”

…Wait. Kokono was a shrine maiden candidate?

A shrine maiden candidate?! Really?! WHY?! Why, damn it?!

Tch! I swore I’d never lose to fate!

That’s right! Anyone who knows me already knows exactly what comes next!

① With my brilliant schemes, I’ll crush fate in dazzling fashion.

② Fate’s sneaky tricks will get the better of me.

③ Or, somehow, I’ll just trip over myself and lose anyway.

Fuhahahahahahahaha!

Bring it on, Fate!!!