I Came Back from the Dead, Quit Being a Holy Hero, and Just Wanna Shake My Hips in a Harem - Chapter 34: The Answer is ③!

Chapter 34: The Answer is ③!

In Kamunkotan’s sacred district, inside a grand mansion.

The large tatami-lined hall was polished to perfection, and I was seated at the upper seat of honor.

Beside me, Kokono sat upright like a model student, smiling brightly.

“This is the one who will be guarding me during the Divine Descent Rite… Sir Haruya Arden!”

Down below, the lower seats were filled with the town’s big shots.

A grandpa with a magnificent beard, veteran shrine maidens, brawny neighborhood watch types… and every single one of them had the same look in their eyes.
Basically, it screamed: This guy??? Really???

Hold on—since when was Kokono a shrine maiden candidate?!

Didn’t she just say she was a dropout?!

And what about Kikino?! Was her “journey” connected to all this?!

Even while sitting, I felt dizzy from the sheer whiplash.

That’s when two familiar faces appeared—Lily and Filio.

Looked like they’d been gathering info around town. I gave them the quick rundown, but judging from their expressions, they weren’t buying it one bit.

“(Lord Haruya, how in the world did this happen?)”

“(It just… kinda flowed that way…)”

“(Normally you’d refuse with your usual nonsense, wouldn’t you?)”

“(When it’s a pure-hearted girl, I can’t bring myself to go hard on her…)”

“(Lord Haruya… I’m also a pure-hearted girl, you know?)”

Lily’s voice carried the faintest edge of dissatisfaction.

No, but come on, that’s…

“(…Lily, you’ve got that whole “iron law and order” thing written all over your face again.)”

“(What’s that supposed to mean? Anyway, the Divine Descent Rite forbids outsiders, so this way we can accompany them legally.)”

“(Wait—what? You’re actually going??)”

“(Of course. I want to investigate.)”

Going straight into the Divine Descent Rite… there’s no way I’d run into Goddess Flora herself, right?

Maybe it was the sour look on my face, but Lily narrowed her eyes suspiciously, watching me like she didn’t trust me one bit.

The Divine Descent Rite was held in the hidden sanctuary where shrine maidens once lived after fleeing here long ago.

The path was harsh, the grounds sacred—outsiders strictly forbidden.

But Kokono just beamed like it was nothing.

And Lily, clearly sensing something about the Rite, looked dead set on joining in.

…Well, it should be fine. Outsiders would be turned away anyway.

See? There we go—one of the brawny townsmen stood up and glared right at me.

“Oi! You’re seriously gonna let some nobody guard her? That’s an insult to all the people who’ve protected this town till now!”

Yes, yes! Preach it! Tell them!

Exactly—trampling on their pride would be unforgivable!

“You’re absolutely right, brooo!!”

The tough guy’s eyes went wide.

Clearly, he hadn’t expected me to agree with him.

That’s right, I’ll back you up all the way! All the way!

I figured I could ride this wave and wiggle out of it… but Lily quickly flicked a glance at Filio.

And with that, Filio hopped up cheerfully and strolled over to the brawny man.

The man’s scowl deepened, his face twisting with hostility as she approached.

“Why don’t you fight me instead?”

“Hah? What are you, begging to get hurt?”

“Good. You’ve got the spirit. Then, pardon me.”

Filio stepped in gracefully, moving almost like she was gliding.

The burly man reached out to shove her aside—but with a sharp snap, she caught his arm and smoothly guided him right back down into a seated position.

The man blinked in shock, over and over. Filio just smiled sweetly at him.

“You’re not hurt, are you?”

“Uh, n-no… I-I’m fine, yes ma’am…”

“As you can see, I’m quite a capable adventurer. Especially him—Haruya’s swordsmanship is several times stronger than mine.”

Maybe it was the noble aura radiating off her, but the townsfolk all gave these “Ooooh, wow, really?” faces.

Ghh! I wanted so badly to shout She’s just a closet perv at heart!

“Hmph! Strength alone isn’t enough! Even if you claim his sword is strong, it’s still just a beast’s sword! Some wild adventurer’s blade is unfit to guard a shrine maiden candidate!!”

Yeah, that line of defiance? That was me.

I had to jump in and brand myself as “the savage swordsman” before anyone else could.

But then, the shrine maiden girls suddenly started chiming in.

“Isn’t he the guy who looked super cool earlier?”

“I saw it up close—his swordplay was beautiful!”

“Right? It was like he was dancing!”

Wait—what?!

They just crushed the criticism like it was nothing!

N-No, hold on, there’s gotta be another weak point somewhere!!

Desperate, I turned to the most important figure in the room—the old man with the magnificent beard.

He stroked his beard with a troubled look before finally speaking.

“A, ahh… w-well. Perhaps… it’s necessary to be liked by the spirits?”

“It is necessary then?!”

“W-Well, not exactly a strict requirement…”

“Someone! Summon the great spirits of Hokkoro here at once!”

I clapped my hands together—bam, bam—and shouted.

And sure enough, a Hokkoro spirit drifted lazily into the room.

Maybe it came because of all the noise, or maybe it just thought it sounded fun.

It rolled around on the tatami for a while, tumbling back and forth.

Then it noticed me, scrambled upright, and bowed its head politely.

“O-Oh my! Even the great Hokkoro spirit is that respectful!”

“Not even we townsfolk receive such courtesy!”

“Who in the world is this man?!”

…Guess it must’ve been because of earlier.

No way a spirit would waste its time plotting revenge—it must’ve sensed my holy aura and decided I was someone worth respecting.

But wait—hold up‼

The conditions for me to tag along just got cleared at lightning speed! How?!

Ughhh… Hm?

Something’s… lurking?

Through the sliding door, I caught a glimpse of half a suit of armor peeking in—

Wait. Wait wait wait!

That cursed piece of crap armor?!

What the hell’s it doing here?!

Don’t just loiter like you’re waiting for your big entrance! This is not your cue! Get lost! I’ll rub my dick all over you if you don’t, I swear!!

And Kokono…

Seeing me grimace and squirm like that, she looked just a little lonely.

U-Ughhh… gaaaaaaaaahhh…

B-But still—Goddess Flora…!

From what I’d heard, she was basically Lily with all the troublesome parts cranked up even further.

Who in their right mind would want to meet someone like that?

Granted, she was technically on the “good” side… technically…

Uuugh… no matter what I do, it all backfires.

Fate keeps hammering me down, shoving me the opposite way.

Backfire, resist… backfire, resist…

Wait. What if… I just didn’t resist at all???

Maybe I was exhausted because I kept struggling against the current.

But if I let myself drift with it, I could harness its flow.

—Entrust yourself to the flow.

…That’s it‼ I’d been forcing myself against fate this whole time!

And that’s why it kept slamming me down so hard!

If that’s the case, then—!

“Everyone, I think you’ve realized it by now.”

I rose to my feet, waiting until every eye was locked on me.

Then, with the most noble, fearless expression I could muster, I spoke words straight from the heart—honest, genuine words.

“To protect Kokono—the sweet, hard-working girl with the cutest smile—the gods… no, the very goodness of mankind itself has sent forth the strongest swordsman in the world! That man… is me, Haruya Arden! I shall accept the sacred duty of guarding her during the Divine Descent Rite!”

The townsfolk gasped in awe, voices swelling in a chorus of “Oooohhh…”

Kokono’s face flushed red all the way to her ears. She clenched her fists tight in her lap and lowered her gaze, clearly overwhelmed.

I figured she was happy.

And then—of course.

My declaration, which should have sparked another round of protest, slipped through without a single objection.

It was accepted, clean and simple.