I Came Back from the Dead, Quit Being a Holy Hero, and Just Wanna Shake My Hips in a Harem - Chapter 05: The Iron Maiden Hasn’t Changed a Bit

Chapter 05: The Iron Maiden Hasn’t Changed a Bit

Her silver hair flowed down to her waist, shimmering like high-grade silk. It had this delicate, fleeting beauty to it… but her eyes? They burned with unwavering resolve. The kind of expression that said loud and clear: “Yeah, good luck trying to boss me around.”

She was petite and slender, like her body had stubbornly refused to grow up—clinging to girlhood with everything it had.

Priestess Lily Alshiana stood there with her sacred staff in hand, tilting her head slightly as she asked:

“Um… Have we met somewhere before?”

“T-That’s, uh…”

My voice stuck in my throat.

W-Why the hell is she here!?

In Granule, of all places!? In the Adventurers’ Guild!?

Lily stared up at me with those expectant eyes, like, Well? I’m waiting.

But I had nothing—no excuse, no strategy.

Even though she looked all soft and graceful, I’d never once been able to talk back to her. Not a single time.

“Lord Haruya, that is not how a Hero should act.”

“Lord Haruya, you must carry yourself with dignity, always.”

“Lord Haruya, done with training? Good. Then we shall begin supplemental drills. If you run out of stamina, I’ll replenish it with magic.”

“Lord Haruya? Hm? …You feel like your heart’s about to break? Worry not. A true Hero’s heart never breaks.”

Lily Alshiana—the priestess dispatched by the Grand Goddess Church to ensure the rebirth of a proper Holy Hero.

She saw potential in me… and then?

She hammered it in.

And it wasn’t just the physical stuff.

She trained my manners, my speech, my daily habits—she even micromanaged my entire life.

“Lord Haruya, we’ll be training all day today—until you learn how to properly use a knife and fork.”

“Lord Haruya, I see bed hair and dirt on your shoes. Let’s restart the morning routine from the top, shall we?”

“Lord Haruya, smile. Come now—smile!”

“Lord Haruya, don’t forget. You must always be the Hero.”

Be the Hero… be the Hero… be the freaking Hero…

“Staaare.”

Huh!?

She’s staring at me!

That suspicious glint in her eyes is back!

This is no time to be drowning in old trauma‼

Didn’t she drill it into me to stay calm no matter the situation!?

Right. Time to flip the script.

Now’s my chance to return the favor—in a good way!

“A priestess, huh? Don’t see too many of those around.”

“…Is it really that rare?”

“Well, this city’s kinda known for its… let’s say, flexible morals. So, seeing a proper priestess from the Grand Goddess Church and all—you stood out. Your name just stuck in my head, that’s all!”

“…But I never told anyone I was from the Grand Goddess Church.”

Uh-oh.

Her eyes just sharpened like a blade.

“I-I saw your pendant… maybe?”

“I’m not wearing a Goddess Church pendant.”

I immediately zipped it.

Tried to take a step back—

But Lily took a step forward, casually blocking my path.

“May I ask your name?”

“M-My name? Oh, it’s… super average. Totally normal. Nothing special.”

“May I please… hear your name?”

That crushing pressure wrapped around my stomach like a steel vice.

I was supposed to be the only one who remembered life before I died and came back.

Back in my hometown, no one remembered me ever becoming a Hero.

Same deal here in Granule—zero recognition. Nothing.

But what if…

What if Lily remembered even a little?

Also, seriously—why is she in Granule of all places?

This is a city with a whole red-light district!

And she’s working as an adventurer!?

“You have a moment? …Let’s talk at that table over there.”

Yup.

Didn’t matter what I wanted.

The way she said it? Yeah, I was already being dragged.

Lily was still very much Lily.

“Haha! A girl inviting me to sit? What an honor~!”

I tried to joke it off, but the cold sweat just kept pouring.

Help!!

Please, Goddess Flora…

Wait, no—if I pray too hard, she might actually descend.

Okay, uh—Demon King Chronova, lend me a hand here!

Didn’t we literally fight to the death once!?

That makes us rivals, right? Fate-bound frenemies or something!?

Just as I was about to sell my soul to the dark side, a nearby female adventurer leaned in close and whispered to Lily.

“You might wanna stay away from that guy.”

“Oh? You know him?”

“Know him? He’s kinda famous around here, actually… um, well…”

She cupped her hand and whispered something straight into Lily’s ear.

Lily gave a silent nod.

Then her expression went completely blank.

“…So he’s trash.”

Oof.

Now that was a new reaction.

Yeah, getting judged—and dumped into the garbage bin—by a former party member?

Yeah, that stung a bit.

But weirdly enough?

In that disgusted stare, I saw the tiniest flicker of hope.

“Yooo‼ It’s me, the one and only trash-tier Haruya Arden‼ Always on the hunt for cute girls to join my future harem‼”

“Me? …A harem candidate?”

“Bingo! I’ve had my eye on you ever since you showed up in town! Did a full background check and everything!”

I threw in a little hip wiggle and fired off a bold wink—BAM!

From all corners of the guild came the usual barrage from the female adventurers:

“Trash.” “Scum.” “Someone chop it off already.”

Hah!

Listen, if you don’t make a move, nothing ever starts between a guy and a girl‼

And I’m desperate here! I’ve got to smash every last “Hero” flag before it sprouts!

Shame? Dignity? Reputation?

I chucked all that the moment I committed to the harem dream!!

“…So people like this really do exist.”

Lily hit me with a look of pure, divine contempt.

Good, good, goooood‼ One more push!!

Time to dial the trash energy up to MAX!

“Really, it’s your fault, y’know? You’re just way too cute!”

“…Could it be you’re triggering some kind of protective instinct? I’ve heard female priestesses tend to be popular with men.”

“Huh? Where’s this coming from?”

“Admittedly, priests mainly use support spells. We’re not exactly strong in direct combat. Even so, we rarely get approached so crudely. Do you know why?”

“Uh… I dunno. ‘Cause people respect you or something?”

“It’s because we know how to kill sperm.”

With the softest, most angelic expression imaginable, Lily casually announced the extinction of my entire bloodline.

And this time?

No acting.

My mental state plummeted straight to rock bottom.

“Ah… okay, sorry…”

Terrifying.

One wrong move and Lily looked more than ready to rain down holy judgment.

She might look like some delicate girl with a soft, gentle aura, but deep down?

She’s the complete opposite.

Iron will. No hesitation.

If she says she’s gonna do something, you better believe it’s happening.

Even the guys nearby were backing off—clearly spooked by her spiritual pressure.

Heh… I used to live under that pressure 24/7.

Just remembering it makes my stomach twist into knots.

Well… I guess she’s totally written me off now.

Lily gave me one last glance, then turned toward the quest board.

She reached for the same request paper we’d nearly grabbed at the same time earlier, but—

That bespectacled guild staff beauty stepped in and stopped her.

“Lady Lily, I’m afraid you can’t accept that quest.”

“Why is that?”

Lily tilted her head slightly, letting out a soft little huh?

“Because your Adventurer Rank is currently Ash. Without a proven record or guild trust, you’re not eligible to take on requests of this level. Also… are you currently in a party?”

“…No, I’m solo.”

Wait, Lily’s going solo too?

Is that even allowed for priestesses?

…No way.

Don’t tell me she’s here looking for the missing Hero.

While I quietly broke out into a cold sweat, the staff lady gave Lily an apologetic smile and continued—

“If a Silver-Iron-ranked adventurer joins you, you can take the quest.”

“So… I just need someone strong with me and it’s allowed?”

“Yes. If they’re Silver-Iron level in skill, then there’s no issue. However… since the reward would have to be split… well, not many high-ranked adventurers are willing to team up with someone still ranked Ash.”

Uh-oh…

This conversation’s veering into danger zone territory…

The bespectacled guild beauty snuck a careful glance my way, clearly trying to choose her words wisely.

“For example… Sir Haruya here is technically Bronze-ranked, but his skills and track record are Silver-Iron level. And, well, it looks like he was about to take the same quest as you.”

Lily immediately turned her sharp gaze on me.

Her face practically screamed: No way is this trash-tier perv even remotely competent.

She’d clearly filed me under “Possible contamination risk.”

This is bad!

Like, disaster movie bad!!

“Yoo-hoo! I’m working suuuper hard so I can build the ultimate harem~!”

I started thrusting my hips at high speed like an absolute maniac.

There!

No way I look like a capable adventurer now!

Just a delusional creep begging to get stabbed in some dark alley!

The receptionist sighed, rubbing her temples like this wasn’t even the first time today.

“…Believe it or not, despite that, he’s actually good at his job. In just six months, he’s climbed all the way to Silver-Iron level. It’s… honestly kind of impressive.”

Stop it!

Don’t praise me!! Don’t make me sound impressive‼

Call me trash!

Insult me!

Call me a bottom-feeding loser!!

Gah…!!

Did I go too far just to blow all my cash at a fancy brothel!?

But I mean, come on—I wanna lose my V-card fast and in the most brain-melting, soul-shattering way possible!

Lily, now clearly intrigued, turned to the guild receptionist.

“Impressive, you say?”

“Yes. Since the guild was founded, we’ve never had a case quite like his. If the Demon King were still active… well, he might’ve been considered a Hero candidate. …Despite how he behaves.”

I stretched my upper lip like an idiot and cranked the hip-thrusting back to full power.

Careful now, lil’ lady.

Get too close and I’ll thrust you straight into orbit~

Even with my full-on horny-monkey performance, Lily didn’t flinch.

Not even a single twitch in her expression.

And then—using the same calm, serious tone she always had back before I died—she declared:

“Please accompany me, Lord Haruya.”