I Came Back from the Dead, Quit Being a Holy Hero, and Just Wanna Shake My Hips in a Harem

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Chapter 06: Welcome to This Totally Not Suspicious Village!

We hopped onto a wagon at one of Granule’s main transit stops.

The ride was a bumpy one—rocking and rattling as we rolled toward our destination.

Not too far from me, Lily sat quietly, calm as ever.

Her only luggage? That signature holy staff. Talk about minimalist travel.

But hey, she’s got storage magic—no need to lug around a bunch of bags.

Me? I finally got a Magi-Pack from the guild, so life’s a lot easier now.

Still… storage magic looks really tempting. That kind of convenience should be illegal.

…Not that I’d ever use it in front of Lily. Nope. Absolutely not.

Can’t believe I ended up traveling with her again—even after dying and hitting the cosmic reset button.

I let out a quiet sigh.

Immediately, Lily’s eyes snapped toward me like a hawk spotting prey.

“Do you have some objection to me accompanying you?”

“Whaaat? No way! I’m thrilled to be adventuring with such a super cute girl!”

I forced my voice to sound as cheerful and innocent as physically possible.

“You sound… tired.”

“I’m just running on low sleep, that’s all! My girl wouldn’t let me rest last night, y’know how it is!”

“I heard Lord Haruya frequents luxury brothels and is actively trying to lose his virginity. Why lie about it?”

“…Because sometimes, a guy just wants to sound cool…”

When it comes to love and romance, guys just… kinda bluff.

It’s a thing.

Whether it’s pretending they’ve got a girlfriend or claiming they’re not virgins—guys will stretch the truth just to look cooler.

Even after I turned the shameless sleazeball act up to eleven, Lily still asked me to come along on a quest.

And from the look in her eyes?

If I’d said no, she would’ve followed me across continents.

So yeah… I caved.

Curious what had her so fired up, I gave the request sheet another glance.

[Location: Lyra Village, North of Hawks Plain.

Request: Lyra Village Investigation.

Nearby villages have reported suspicious signs coming from Lyra.

There may also be irregularities in local monster behavior.]

Apparently, something about Lyra Village just felt… off, and the guild wanted someone to check it out.

It wasn’t a monster hunt or fetch quest.

Just a good old “go look around” gig.

Honestly, I only considered it because it sounded easy.

“How are you feeling, Lord Haruya?”

Yup.

That’s the voice of someone who’s definitely keeping tabs on me.

“Just thinking it’s kind of a weird quest, that’s all.”

“I agree. It’s uncommon to investigate a village simply because it feels ‘suspicious.’”

“Plus the reward depends on the outcome, right? Even with a little upfront cash, doesn’t seem all that worth it…”

“If someone’s in trouble, then helping them is the righteous path. That is what we must do as people.”

“…I mean, I’m not a Hero or anything. If I get paid, I’m good. And besides—the Demon King’s already toast. So what’s a priestess from the Grand Goddess Church doing all the way out here?”

Priests from the Grand Goddess Church were supposed to carry out the divine will of Goddess Flora, spreading light and peace throughout the land.

But Lily—Flora’s own chosen messenger—just brushed off my pointed question with that same calm, composed grace of hers.

“Even without a Hero… this world still needs light.”

…So she’s not gonna give me a straight answer, huh?

Still betting she’s secretly on the hunt for the missing Hero.

Great.

I’ve been marked. I just know it.

Well, too bad for her—there’s no way I’m picking up the Hero mantle again.

Of course, I’ll handle the village investigation properly.

But I fully plan to let Lily take the lead.

I’m going full-on “Huh? What’s that? My brain’s too smooth to understand!” mode.

Eventually, she’ll get tired of me and give up.

And so, we finally rolled up near Lyra Village.

It wasn’t too far from the main road, and honestly?

Looked more developed than my old hometown.

They even had an item shop and a weapon store.

Apparently, it was a decent little stopover spot for adventurers.

Probably a quiet, peaceful place too—

Monsters around here had to be total weaklings.

So why the “something feels off” vibe?

Eh.

This job’s gonna be over in no time.

I hopped off the wagon and followed Lily into the village.

“—Welcome to Lyra Village, where smiles never fade!”

About a dozen villagers stepped out to greet us.

But instead of waving or saying hi normally, they… twirled.

Like stage performers.

Full spin moves while talking.

“Smiles~”

“A smile is proof of goodness~”

“A smile is the mark of happiness~”

“A smile shows a pure heart~”

“““Which means we’re totally not suspicious at aaaaall~♪”””

They sang it.

In sync.

With perfect pitch.

And full-on nightmare-fuel grins.

…………ARE YOU KIDDING ME‼‼‼

There is no freaking way this isn’t suspicious as hell‼‼‼

Seriously!?

If I act like the clueless idiot here, I’m gonna look like the shady one!

At least try to pretend you’re not a creepy cult!!

Do you even know how to be suspicious properly!? Morons!!

Lily, completely unfazed, turned to me and asked—

“What do you think, Lord Haruya?”

Ugh…

Yeah, no. “Wow, such dazzling smiles!” isn’t gonna fly here…

“…They seem kinda on guard. Maybe start by telling them who we are and why we’re here?”

“A reasonable suggestion. …You’re oddly accustomed to abnormal situations.”

Ugh.

Did I just earn Hero Points?

No thanks. Hard pass.

While I was mentally sweating bullets, Lily turned to a chubby-looking man and spoke in her usual calm, composed voice.

“We’re adventurers. We came to investigate Lyra Village on a request.”

“What!? You’re investigating Lyra Village!? The village overflowing with bright, cheerful smiles!? There’s nothing even remotely suspicious here, I assure you!”

The villagers all nodded in perfect sync.

Still smiling.

Same plastered expressions.

Yep. Definitely not nightmare fuel or anything.

Even Lily, standing there like it was just another Tuesday, didn’t bat an eye.

She followed up with her next question, face still unreadable.

“We heard rumors that the local monsters have been acting strange. That’s what we’re here to investigate.”

“…The monsters?”

“Has anything unusual happened recently?”

“No, nothing at all…”

The chubby man kept his smile frozen in place while glancing around at the other villagers.

They all shook their heads.

Still smiling.

Still perfectly in sync.

I could feel eyes crawling all over me.

Stares from behind windows.

Shadowy figures watching from half-open doors.

The creepy meter? Pegged to max.

Okay. Full alert mode. We’re doing this.

And then, the chubby man spoke again—still grinning like he’d never learned how to blink.

“Lyra Village isn’t far from the city. The monsters in this area are weak, and the villagers can usually handle them just fine. In fact, monster sightings are rare around here… There’s really nothing that would trouble professional adventurers like yourselves…”

“That’s unfortunate. It sounds like this investigation might take a while.”

“…Take a while, you say…?”

The fat man froze mid-smile.

Didn’t say another word.

Yep.

He definitely wants us gone—like, yesterday.

Well, this is one of those early-game starter villages, after all.

Probably peaceful by default.

Low-level mobs. No drama.

…Or so I thought.

Out of nowhere, a young man came sprinting over—still smiling, but now yelling:

“Bad news! Two Silver Wolves just showed up in the village!”

Oh, come onnnn‼

You’re really gonna spawn monsters now⁉

What is this, a stage show? You summoning them from backstage or something!?

You people are so shady.

And if you’re gonna lie, at least try to lie better‼ You bunch of amateur cultists‼

I nearly grabbed my head in despair but settled for resting my hand on my sword.

Didn’t draw it yet—

Silver Wolves are weak monsters.

Even a Bronze-ranked solo adventurer could take them down no problem.

Plus… they weren’t coming for me.

They were heading straight for Lily.

Figures.

Priestess = support role = easy target.

Normally, a party member would jump in to protect her.

But this?

This is why Lily gets to be a solo adventurer.

The first Silver Wolf lunged—fangs bared, aiming straight for her throat.

Lily, calm and graceful as ever, raised her sacred staff, parted her lips, and gently whispered—like she was offering advice rather than casting a spell.

“Sacred Mark—Cell Overdrive (Heal Blast)!”

The Silver Wolf was suddenly engulfed in a glowing halo—like a perfect, angelic ring of light.

And then…

Its entire body started swelling up like an overinflated balloon.

BOGON!!

It burst like an overripe fruit, spraying chunks of meat everywhere.

Lily, completely unfazed, calmly flicked some monster goo off her hand and remarked:

“How convenient of it to appear. It truly was a low-tier creature.”

The villagers were still smiling…

But now they were frozen stiff.

Even the second Silver Wolf just stopped in its tracks.

I mean, yeah—who the hell expects a priestess to drop a literal instant-kill spell?

That move?

It force-triggers every cell in the target’s body at once until they explode.

A Lily classic.

And her face?

Stone cold.

Not even a flicker of emotion after turning that wolf into flying red confetti.

Yeah.

Now you see why I never talked back to her.

But wait—there’s more.

Lily lowered her staff and exhaled softly, her posture suddenly slumping a little.

“Lily? Uh… there’s still one more monster, y’know?”

“I’ve exhausted my faith energy… I’m afraid I can’t cast any more spells right now…”

Liar!!

She’s totally trying to see what I can do, isn’t she!?

Pulling the ol’ “Oops, I’m outta mana~” trick just to make me show off—

That’s messed up‼

What do I do!?

If I hold back, she’ll see right through it.

But if I go all out, she’ll definitely start asking questions…

While I was busy spiraling over the perfect level of “strategic incompetence,” the second Silver Wolf seemed to catch on that Lily had no intention of fighting.

It let out a low growl and lunged straight at her.

She’s not even gonna dodge!? Oh, come on!!

I sighed, drew my sword, and took it down with a single clean slash.

Lily didn’t even flinch when the wolf’s fangs scraped her arm.

Now she was bleeding—calmly, quietly.

And yet… she didn’t spare a glance at the monster I’d just sliced clean in half.

Nope.

Her eyes were locked right on me—watching, studying.

There was that little spark of curiosity again.

“A flawless strike. Well done, Lord Haruya.”

…The kind of person who’d casually let herself get hurt if it helped her achieve her goal?

That’s Lily.