I Came Back from the Dead, Quit Being a Holy Hero, and Just Wanna Shake My Hips in a Harem - Chapter 03: The Not-So-Holy Hero

Chapter 03: The Not-So-Holy Hero

Deep within the Dark Temple—way, way past the main hall—was the inner sanctum.

The chamber of the coffin.

That’s where the Demon King Chronova should’ve been sleeping.

I crept forward, sword drawn, every step light and quiet… when suddenly, a voice rang out behind me.

“Is it you… who dares disturb my slumber…?”

“…Tch. Guess I’ve been made.”

“I sensed an evil presence… Who goes th—huh!? What the—!?”

Chronova—decked out like some high-ranking priest—gasped, eyes wide.

Which, honestly, fair.

I’d be shocked too.

After all, the mysterious intruder in his sacred bedchamber was—

A completely naked man… wearing a gas mask.

Yep. That’s me.

The Demon King’s voice cracked in full-on panic as he stared me down.

“Wha—Whaaat!? Why are you naked!? Why the gas mask!? What is this terror!?”

Fuhahaha! Behold!

The mighty Demon King—trembling before the glorious sight of a bold, butt-naked, gas-masked madman!

I mean, yeah, I’d be terrified too.

Anyone would.

Even I’m scared of me right now.

Good thing I know I’m me.

Otherwise, I’d have called the guards by now.

“Who ARE you!? Some pervert!? A freak!? A man with… questionable tastes!?”

“I’m the one who’s here to take you down!”

“You don’t look like someone who can take down anything!”

“Shut up and DIEEEE!!”

First strike wins, baby!

I lunged, sword-first—but of course, the Demon King wasn’t gonna roll over that easy.

He snapped right out of panic mode, fingers moving like a pro-level spellcaster.

A glowing circle flared to life beneath him, and in the blink of an eye—a shimmering, semi-circular barrier burst up around him.

“Chrono Wall—Absolute Barrier!”

CLANG!

My sword smashed against the glowing wall and stopped cold.

Still drenched in cold sweat, the Demon King managed to force out a shaky sneer.

“Y-You pervert! How did you even get in here!?”

“Hah! What, you think I was gonna waltz in through the front door like some gentleman!? Idiot! Of course I snuck in through the window—silent and stealthy!”

“You dare call yourself the one meant to defeat the Demon King!?”

At this point, I couldn’t care less about appearances.

Forget being the shining hero legends are made of.

Forget keeping things kid-friendly.

We’re doing this my way now.

“I’m the guy who’s gonna chop you into tiny bits and KILL you—then drag this world back into the light!”

“Those words have no light in them whatsoever!! Also—stop letting it dangle like that!!”

Chronova was absolutely losing it over the casual swinging going on below my waist.

Yeah, even before I died, this guy was super uptight about decorum and presentation.

“And YOU! Do you seriously think that ridiculous headgear will protect you from my miasma!?”

“It’s a gas mask. You do the math.”

“Shut up!!”

“Besides, if I showed up wearing holy gear, you would’ve sensed me from a mile away, right?”

That one hit the mark.

Chronova’s mouth clamped shut.

Bingo.

Holy gear’s powerful, yeah—but this guy can sniff it out like a cursed bloodhound.

Last time around, I couldn’t even get close to this room.

I got mobbed by monsters before I made it halfway through the temple.

So this time?

I went full stealth mode.

No armor.

No metal.

Nothing that reeks of iron or humanity.

Just me, my bare-ass skin, and a gas mask.

Yeah, the miasma made my skin sting like it was being slow-roasted over hellfire, but as long as I didn’t breathe it in, I’d live.

Old me could never have pulled this off.

Back then, someone in my party would’ve tackled me before I even got my shirt halfway off.

But now?

I came here alone.

I’ve quit the whole “hero” gig.

Which means—I can totally do thisssss!!

I’m just a naked dude in a gas mask nowwwww!

And I’ve got zero issues sneaking into bedrooms for surprise attacks!!

“DIIIIIEEE!! No wait—get your brains blown out and THEN DIE AGAIN, DEMON KING!!”

I shoved my sword harder against the magical barrier.

Chronova—the Demon King himself—clutched his hands together and poured even more mana into the shield.

“Hmph! As if my magic could be broken by the likes of—wait, what!?”

Crack.

Creak.

Splinter.

Tiny fractures began creeping across the surface of his so-called “Absolute Barrier.”

Chronova’s eyes went wide in total disbelief.

“Impossible!? My Absolute Barrier… broken by a mere human!?”

“Fuhahahaha!! Look, look! It’s already cracking! Getting scared, are ya, Demon King!?”

“C-Could it be!? This naked freak… is the current Hero!?”

“Hero? Never heard of him!”

I smiled all sweet and innocent—then threw my full weight into the next strike.

SHATTER!

The barrier exploded like glass.

Chronova jumped back in an instant. Fast reflexes—he was the Demon King, after all.

While retreating, he flung out a spell—summoning a writhing serpent of purple flame.

“Chrono Spell: Flame Serpent Fang!”

“Rrrrhhah!!”

With one clean swing, I sliced straight through the flaming snake.

The blade cut through it like butter, sparks flying as the fire split apart.

Chronova stood frozen—eyes wide, jaw slack.

Yeah. He definitely wasn’t expecting his fancy magic to get shredded in two seconds.

You’d think rewinding time might’ve messed with my stats, right?

Wrong.

Surprise! They barely dropped at all.

Still rock solid.

Sure, I did lose the Goddess’s blessing…

Which meant some of the Holy Hero-only techniques were now locked behind divine red tape.

Probably because the time rewind erased my “bond events” with key NPCs.

No bonding = no unlocks.

Classic RPG logic.

But honestly?

This is more than enough.

I skipped all the sidequests, marched straight into the Dark Temple solo, and came here to take the Demon King down—my way.

Chronova, now looking like a raid boss at 2% HP, staggered and panted as he grumbled:

“Hey… you’re the Hero, aren’t you?”

“Never heard of him.”

“You are the Hero, right? …To think the legendary battle of light and darkness would end up like this. Future historians are gonna have migraines trying to write about it.”

“Yeah, well—that’s their problem.”

I had zero intention of letting this mess go down in the history books.

No tales. No epic ballads.

No catchy songs sung by dramatic traveling bards.

There’s no grand Hero vs. Demon King clash happening here.

Just a naked dude in a gas mask, and a demon lord locked in a deathmatch.

…Oh? The air just got way nastier.

The miasma thickened—Chronova had finally accepted it.

I was the real deal.

No more stalling. He was going all in.

I gripped my sword and channeled life into the blade.

A soft green glow pulsed across the edge—gentle, steady, sharp.

Chronova’s eyes narrowed.

“A Holy Sword Technique… huh. That goddess would faint if she saw you right now.”

“Never met her, but yeah. Probably. She’s got a huge clean freak complex.”

“But you are the Hero, right?”

“Dunno. Doesn’t ring a bell.”

“…Isn’t that technique supposed to convert the bonds between people into holy power?”

Still trying to buy time.

Still trying to get a read on me mid-conversation.

But I wasn’t biting.

The next move would end this.

So I made my stance crystal clear.

“That’s not it.”

 “What’s not it?”

“This technique—it’s not about turning bonds into power. It’s about using your *desire to connect with people.”

“…That’s literally the same thing.”

Chronova’s fingers twitched.

He was charging something—big.

A max-level dark magic nuke, by the look of it.

I let out a long breath.

I already died once.

Had my soul stripped bare.

At this point?

Screw it.

I’ll throw off everything—body, heart, pride, shame—and fight just as I am.

“This move… is powered by my pervy desire to thrust my hips at cute girls— It’s the technique to carve out my glorious future harem!!”

“A h-harem!?”

That hit hard.

Chronova flinched—just a split-second too slow.

And I wasn’t about to waste it.

My blade surged with light—glowing brighter than ever—as I swung it with everything I had, unleashing my ultimate technique:

“Seiken—Sexcalibur™!!”

“Guh! Chrono Technique—Lotus—”

“Too slow‼‼‼”

Got him. GOT HIM!

Die, you overdramatic, cape-flapping, final boss cliché!

You’re the last big, bad wall standing between me and my happy, hip-thrust-filled harem life!!

Cowardly?

Trashy?

Degenerate beyond saving?

Yeah? So what!

I’m not some shiny “Holy Hero” anymore!!

“Gwaaahhhhhh!! Don’t think this is over, Hero…!”

“I’ve got a second move! And a third! AND a fourth!!!”

“Wait! I mean I have a second for—”

“Perish! And become the stepping stone to my bright, brilliant harem-destinyyyyyyy!!”

Before Chronova could enter his second phase—or third, or whatever dumb anime-tier nonsense he had prepped—I slashed straight through his soul, cutting him down before he could even scream.

And just like that…

The Demon King Chronova vanished.

No final words.

No tragic backstory.

No flashy self-destruction or “I’ll be back someday…” threat.

Gone.

Poof.

Erased from existence.

Whew.

Looks like he didn’t even have time to trigger that usual “massive suicide explosion” thing.

Guess he needed to charge some mana first.

In my previous life, I wasted too much time standing around like a proper, patient hero,

letting him monologue his entire evil script.

Never again.

“Welp.”

Just like that, the world’s greatest threat—the Demon King himself—was wiped off the map.

No cheers.

No parades.

And no one even realized it happened.

Now, there’s only one person left who knows the truth.

That the hero who saved the world…

…was me.

Just me.

“Fufufu…”

So light! 

My shoulders—so freakin’ light!!

Feather-floating! Cloud-dancing! Balloon-on-a-breeze light!!

No more overly intense party members!

No bossy royals or uptight nobles dumping their world-saving baggage on me!

No ultra-mega-super-germaphobe goddess breathing down my neck!

I’m FREEEEEEEEE!!

Free from the crushing weight of being a “Holy Hero!!”

I practically skipped down the Dark Temple’s corridor, doing a full-on happy dance with every step.

Footloose, fancy-free, and emotionally naked.

Also… still literally naked.

Outside, the sky—once eternally stormy over this cursed place—was finally starting to clear.

Sunlight broke through the gloom, pouring down on the temple for the first time ever.

The Demon King was gone.

And the world… was beginning to shine with hope again.

And me?

I soaked in that peace.

That freedom.

With every cell of my body.

Yes.

Every. Single. Inch.

Because yes—of course—I was still completely naked.

“Aaaahhh!! FREEDOM AND PEACE ARE THE BEEEEEST!!”

I looked up at the blindingly bright sun like it was my long-lost best bro.

Just thinking about the future made me feel all warm and giddy inside.

I couldn’t stop the bubbling excitement.

The joy.

The urge.

The rising… motivation.