I Came Back from the Dead, Quit Being a Holy Hero, and Just Wanna Shake My Hips in a Harem - Chapter 02: Hero or Hip Thrusts?

Chapter 02: Hero or Hip Thrusts?

My eyelids felt warm—just a little.

When I slowly opened my eyes, a clear blue sky stretched out overhead.

Is this… Heaven? Or maybe Valhalla?

But no… something felt off.

A gentle breeze brushed against my face, carrying a scent I hadn’t smelled in forever.

“…That’s the smell of… burning fields.”

It was a scent I knew well—straight from home.

I sat up and glanced around.

Looked like I’d been napping in a grassy field, but… huh?

I wasn’t wearing my armor.

Wait a second—aren’t these the old clothes I used to wear back in the day?

Yeah, the classic linen gear with a sweet little +2 defense boost.

“Wait… Is this… my village?”

Still foggy-headed, I got to my feet and took a better look around.

There was Mr. Tom’s house.

Granny Kaede’s place.

The village chief’s old shack.

The sheep pen. That rickety windmill I could navigate in my sleep.

No mistaking it—this was my hometown.

No famous exports. No sightseeing spots.

Just a sleepy little village so peaceful, it could lull a bear into hibernation.

Even when the world was about to be swallowed in darkness, the people here just kept chillin’ like nothing was wrong.

Back then, I thought it was boring.

But now, after everything I’d seen out there…

I get it.

This kind of peace is priceless.

“Wait. Seen out there…?”

That’s right. I was on a journey—to save the world!

I bolted over to the nearby stream.

In the reflection, I saw myself.

The old me.

The pre-adventure version of me.

My face twisted with disbelief.

“Huh? What the heck is going on?”

W-What… What even is this?

I traveled the world.

Became a hero.

Defeated the Demon King—got taken out with him.

I died. That’s how it ended… right?

“Was… all of that just a dream?”

Being worshipped as a hero?

Yeah, sounds like the kind of dream anyone would kill for.

…Or would they?

Every single day, I was drowning in expectations.

Trying not to snap under the pressure, giving myself stress ulcers.

No freedom. No privacy. I was barely hanging onto basic human rights.

Honestly?

It felt less like a dream and more like a full-on nightmare.

And I still remembered exactly what dying felt like.

That searing pain—like every inch of my body had been skinned raw.

The burning heat.

The sensation of everything being sucked out of me…

Wait. Heat?

“OWOWOW!? WHAT THE HELL!?”

Suddenly, my chest felt like someone had jammed a red-hot iron against it.

Panicking, I clawed at my clothes—

It was a pendant.

A purple gem glowing like a miniature sun, pressed right against my skin and burning.

I grabbed the chain and held it up for a better look.

At the center of the jewel, a swirling vortex spun slowly—like it was alive.

Apparently, I’d been wearing it around my neck this whole time… and yeah, I recognized it.

“This is… the Twin-Wing Wheel.”

A legendary one-of-a-kind treasure.

Passed down through the royal family for generations.

According to old legends, it had the power to rewind misfortune itself—basically, if you were about to die some horrible death, it’d go “Nope!” and reverse your fate.

“Wait… so if this thing actually activated… then the world really did rewind after I died?”

Still holding the gem up to the light, I stared into its glow, my thoughts drifting back to that final battle…

Right before I set off on what was basically a suicide mission, the princess gave it to me—her eyes filled with tears…

“Please take this pendant, Lord Hero.”

“And… this is?”

“The Twin-Wing Wheel. A legendary treasure passed down through the royal family. They say, when the wearer faces death, it can undo the misfortune entirely.”

I told her I couldn’t possibly accept something that valuable.

“I cannot stay by your side, Lord Hero.”

“Your Highness…”

“They say the jewel’s power activates through pure feelings. So please… think of this as me. And take it with you, Lord Hero.”

Yeah…

She looked so serious back then—those sparkly, full-of-hope eyes, totally convinced that our love would trigger the gem’s power.

Sorry, Princess.

Turns out it activated because of my horny little death wish:

“I wanna build a harem and spend my days shaking my hips!”

That’s what did it.

sigh

Honestly, I can’t even pretend to be surprised at myself anymore.

Truth is… I’m not even sure there was any actual love between me and the princess.

Call me a jerk. Call me heartless.

But we barely knew each other.

The first time we met?

My name had just started making the rounds.

The palace summoned me, and we exchanged awkward eye contact across a fancy hallway.

The second time?

It was after I’d officially earned the title of Hero.

And suddenly, she was pouring her heart out like we were childhood sweethearts or something.

To be honest…

I wasn’t confused. I was terrified.

What creeped me out wasn’t even her sudden shift.

It was how everyone else acted like it was the most normal thing in the world.

The king. The ministers. The royal guards…

They were all smiling like, “Yep, this is how it goes.”

There was this unspoken vibe like, “Once you beat the Demon King, it’s straight to the altar!”

They didn’t just dig the moat—

They built the castle, locked me inside it, and tossed the key into the abyss.

So yeah.

While I do genuinely appreciate that the pendant saved my life…that whole kingdom marriage plot?

Absolutely terrifying.

“Huh?”

The glow from the Twin-Wing Wheel flickered… then faded.

Its once-brilliant shine dulled to a dusty gray—and, without fanfare, crumbled into ashes, scattering into the breeze.

Welp.

Guess it really was a one-time-use item.

Now that the chaos in my head had finally settled, I let out a long breath.

“Whew… Okay. I think I’ve got the picture. Time really did rewind—back to before I set off on my journey. Which means… the Demon King Chronova is still alive…”

If that’s true, then I’ll just have to defeat him again.

I can’t let him roam free.

If I do, he’ll plunge the world back into darkness.

So I’ll rise up once more.

As the Holy Hero Haruya Arden, and—

And…

“…Wait. I have to be a hero again?”

Chills.

Every hair on my body stood on end.

It felt like someone dunked my soul in ice water.

I froze. Couldn’t move.

A proper, noble hero.

The holy hero.

The role everyone expected me to play.

The more people knew my name, the more crushing the pressure became.

The responsibilities were unbearable.

My teammates kept drilling the “true hero” mantra into me, and the goddess slapped some cursed holy armor on me like it was the greatest honor ever.

At some point…

My own will just… disappeared.

“To be a hero… all over again…”

I looked around at my quiet little village.

I knew I had to protect this peace.

I’d seen other villages across the land fall—burned down, wiped out, lost forever.

This world can’t be allowed to turn into that.

But still…

Why rewind time all the way to before my journey even began?

“When facing death, it rewinds misfortune…”

Misfortune, huh…

Wasn’t being a hero the real misfortune all along?

I mean, let’s be honest—

I was never cut out to be some noble, world-saving warrior.

The original reason I set off on my journey?

“I wanna get famous and be popular with girls! I’m an orphan anyway, got nothing to lose—let’s gooo!”

Yeah.

That was it.

Dumb. Carefree.

Zero planning.

Just dreams and hormones running the show.

But before I knew it, people started calling me “gifted” or whatever, and somehow, I got roped into becoming The Hero™.

What happened to my one simple, pure, beautiful wish?

“I wanna build a harem… and spend every day just grinding hips.”

Hero or harem?

Hero?

Hip thrusts?

Hero.

Thrust-thrust.

Hero.

Thrust-thrust-thrust.

Thrust-thrust-thrust-thrust-thrust-thrust-thrust—

HELL YEAH!!!