A 30 Year Old Virgin (One Who Haven’t Even Interacted with Women) Took an Exam to Become a Wizard.

Volume 2- Chapter 04: Murder at the Hospital

“I’m exhausted…”

When I got home, I collapsed on the living room sofa and lost all my energy. I was so discouraged that I was spacing out like a mushroom on a cutting board. This might be the first time I’ve ever felt so discouraged.

The next target, Sakuragi Mika, has passed away. The shocking fact left me puzzled.

I don’t even remember how I got home from the address on the status, which was a cemetery.

If she had died today or yesterday, there would have been something I could have done. I could have pretended to be a mourner and put panties on her body while no one was looking. Even if her body was damaged or I went against my morals, it wouldn’t have been my concern. My soul was at stake, so I would have done it without hesitation.

If she died 10 years ago, there’s nothing I can do anymore. She’s long turned to ashes and is sleeping under the gravestone. I considered opening the stone lid and putting panties on the bone box, but I quickly gave up on that idea. It wouldn’t have worked since it wouldn’t make sense.

“Panties… Panties…”

This is a mistake in choosing the target. It’s the Goddess’s fault. Or maybe she never intended for me to clear the mission in the first place? That’s possible, she seemed like a bad person. Maybe she planned to trick me from the beginning, giving me a mission she knew I couldn’t clear. Damn.

“Panties again?”

“NuZwo wao☆!” (T/N: It’s simply bullsht.)

A voice that wasn’t quite a word escaped my throat.

Mari was sitting sideways on the armrest of the sofa. She wore a loose tank top and a relaxed fabric mini skirt, which suited her well. And this at 40 years old. She’s been married to the old man for 12 years, and that guy’s nose has been stretched with pride ever since, with no time to let it settle.

Mari looked down in disbelief, covering her ears. I could see her beautiful armpit from below. Is it really okay for her to be that careless? No, this isn’t the time to be leisurely admiring.

“M-Mari, you’re here.”

“Yes, I am. You ignored my ‘welcome home’ but I won’t get angry. You were lying on the sofa and thinking about panties. Did you buy new ones again? That’s all that’s on your mind, Akira, panties.”

She’s clearly angry.

“Sorry. I was spacing out. I swear I didn’t buy new panties. And also, sometimes I also think about what I will do about work tomorrow.”

I answered all three questions in one go. That’s it, end of report.

“Sometimes, right? On your days off, you stay holed up in your room. When you rarely go out, you come back and it’s all about panties. If no one is there to keep you in check, you’ll never become a proper person until the day you die. Aren’t you going to fix that habit of yours?”

She’s telling me to become a proper human. Quite harsh you know?

I want to retort, but I can’t get a word in edgewise with Mari. Since that incident, I’ve been on the receiving end of her nagging. She’s more strict than a real sister or mother.

“…… I don’t have the guts to do that. If I did, I wouldn’t still be a virgin.”

I want a girlfriend too. If I could buy one at a convenience store, I would have done it a long time ago.

“Akira, you’re still a virgin?!”

Ugh. I shouldn’t have said that. Please don’t look at me with those pitiful eyes. Please don’t pat my chest or anything. I’d cry.

“My bad..”

“I’m sorry. I thought you were acquainted with various girls, so I assumed… Did you not get along with Makoto-san? I thought you two were dating,”

Various girls? What part of me are you even looking at? Wait, Makoto?

“Makoto-san? Do you mean Shigamoto Makoto? That unreachable flower wouldn’t date someone like me.”

Back in third year of high school, there was a brief period when I was relied on. It was when I was struggling to make Mari wear panties. Shigamoto Makoto was scouted by a talent agency on a street corner and became an idol known to everyone. Now she’s 28 years old. There are rumors of her being in a relationship with the leader of a male unit. Someone like me is barely near her level.

“Is that so? Makoto-san liked you though? She even came to the house a few times to play with you.”

“It’s probably some kind of misunderstanding.”

I don’t remember her coming to my house…

Hmm?

I vaguely remember it. This happens sometimes.

Due to the time-leap phenomenon, my memory of connecting the dots is sometimes vague. That’s because these parts are brought to the surface when they are mentioned, so they are easier to remember. It’s confusing because of the half-assed Goddess.

“It was just a consultation. We never dated.”

Pinpon, pinpon, pinpon.

The doorbell rang three times in a row. My sister must have returned. She always rings the bell even though she has a key.

“Ah, Sugumi’s home. Welcome back.”

“I’m—backkkk-! Onii-chan!”

Sugumi dashed from the entrance and jumped onto the sofa, diving into my defenseless stomach. The full weight of her 10-year-old body landed on me. I couldn’t react in time to her sudden attack.

“Gueh.”

A bitter liquid came up my throat. Sugumi didn’t care and continued to rub her 10 year old buttocks on my waist.

“Good morning, Onii-chan, you’re energetic today too. Your cute little sister’s home. Stroke, stroke, stroke all over, front and back, Sugumi is yours, Onii-chan.”

“S-Stop.”

Damn it. My lower body is reacting to my little sister’s provocation.

A minute later, Dad came into the living room.

“The asparagus failed. The bell peppers aren’t growing well. This year’s harvest isn’t looking good.”

Dad had been tending to the vegetable garden in the backyard and seemed to have finished up. I’m lying on the sofa, and Sugumi is hopping on top of me. Mari is sitting on the armrest. Dad, who gave us a glance, sat down at his place at the table and turned on the TV. Atleast say something!

“Don’t be too complacent because she’s clingy to you! Mari is mine. And you can only be so clingy with Sugumi for 11 months!”

Then make Sugumi let go of me! Don’t just sit in there with your veins bulging and trying hard to endure this whole situation!

“Ara-ara~ Being jealous of your own son?”

“But…”

A middle-aged man is tracing the table with his finger. It’s unpleasant, like a sulking middle schooler. Mari moves the chair at the table and sits close to Dad. Dad’s nose keeps growing longer. It looks like these two might be at it again tonight. Make sure to use contraception. Raising a child at your age is tough. Running at a kindergarten sports festival could be life-threatening.

The news came on TV. I usually don’t pay much attention to it, but the name of the person I wanted to know the most was mentioned, and my neck almost dislocated from the force with which I turned to face the TV.

I set aside my resisting little sister, who was saying ‘No,’ and sat up to face the TV.

— It has been revealed that the medical mistake that occurred 10 years ago at this hospital was intentional. The police have discovered a memo left by the nurse, Saeuchi Yosuke, who committed suicide after the mistake he made, in which he clearly stated his plan to kill the patient. The deceased, Sakuragi Mika-san’s family, is demanding that the hospital disclose detailed information about the incident… —

Shocking news. Sakuragi Mika was killed by a nurse. While medical mistakes resulting in death are decreasing, actual murder is still rare. The relationship between the two. The circumstances that led to the murder. The means. It’s shocking news that a nurse killed a patient, and every information programs will probably pick up on it.

“It doesn’t concern me though.”

Sugumi sat on me as I lay on the sofa. I’m like a cushion. Her healthy shorts reveal glimpses of her panties.

“You’re pretty heavy.”

“I’m not that heavy, you should be able to take this much.”

Sakuragi Mika is already dead. She’s a stranger I’ve never met, and it’s a past incident that happened to someone else. I was surprised, but it’s like, “Huh.” I couldn’t have prevented it even if I had been there, and it’s not like I can conveniently go back 10 years. Mari’s case must’ve been rare.

However, I learned from Dad and Mari’s conversation that it does concern me.

“Scary. This is the hospital where Sugumi was born, isn’t it?”

“I remember the deceased, Mika-san. She was in a wheelchair, taking a walk, and we talked quite a lot. The nurse who was pushing her was the one who caused the accident… or incident, rather. I was surprised because it was the day after Sugumi was born and discharged from the hospital.”

On the TV, a reporter was shown standing in front of the hospital entrance, and the staff were quickly running inside.

“Hey, this is where I was born. Heh. If I go there, I’ll be on TV, right?”

“Please don’t.”

“It was just a joke, Mama. I don’t even know the place.”

“You have a personality that breaks common sense…”

I listened to the conversation between Mari and Sugumi, and my consciousness started to drift away. I was enveloped in a warm light, and I felt a sense of familiarity. Is this the time-leap phenomenon? As my consciousness faded, I heard the Goddess’s voice.

‘A short-term special event, “Lucky Pervert,” has been activated.’