Chapter 6

Akane walks into the cafe.

I can’t help but follow her with my eyes.

“Whoa, a super cute red-haired girl just came in. You’ve got good taste, senpai. Your cute-girl sensor is going wild!”

“…Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, let’s go over how to use the camera one more time.”

“Okay, Shion-senpai ♡”

Sora-chan gets way too close, whispering in my ear.

“Hey, don’t get so close.”

“Hm? Why not? If we show her how lovey-dovey we are, she’ll give up and go home, won’t she?”

Just as I expected, Akane’s expression is starting to darken. Told you so.

“Man, that girl really is cute. You’re interested in her too, senpai. I’ll do you a solid and go hit on her!”

Seeing where I’m looking, Naitou is completely misunderstanding. No. That’s not it. If anything, I’m looking at her with fear.

“Stop it! Idiot! Leave her alone!”

This is for Naitou’s own good, too. You need high-performance gear, like a yandere-dar.

If you make a move on a girl like that, your life is over. Seriously.

“Aw, come on, senpai, are you chickening out? Just leave this to me!”

My desperate attempts to stop him were for nothing; Naitou charged ahead.

In his pajamas. In sandals.

…I’d forgotten. This guy is a good dude, sure, but he’s also a moron of epic proportions.

Akane had a foul look on her face, mixed with a strained smile, but she seemed to know where he’d come from.

And then, what do you know, the two of them came over to our table.

Naitou looked vaguely proud of himself.

No, that’s not it, dude.

You’re not the one. I’m the one who’s about to be devoured. (Shudder)

“Shion! I can’t believe one of your friends would hit on me. Sorry, Naitou-kun. I’m Shion’s girlfriend.”

“Oh, uh, is that right…”

“…”

Looks like Naitou’s finally realized the gravity of the situation. Even a dumbass like you gets it now, huh?

This is the entrance to hell.

“S-Senpai! I don’t get how to use this camera~!”

“Ah, this is how you use it, see?”

As Sora thrust her face toward me, I used one hand to shove her head back and keep my distance.

I swear, I can’t forgive her. What does she think a human life is worth?

“…Haha. I can’t believe you were senpai’s girlfriend! You’re gorgeous! That’s my senpai for ya!”

“Oh, that’s sweet. Thank you. Say, can I ask you what Shion is like at the university?”

“Uh… He’s a super reliable senpai! He helps out with homework and stuff… and he treats us to food a lot, too!”

…Help. Someone.

Chapter 7

Naitou took responsibility and got Sora-chan out of there.

For that service, he’s earned his BBQ. I am most pleased.

Akane and I enjoyed the rest of our time at the cafe, and then we came back to my place.

Akane starts talking to me while hanging up her coat.

…Why is she hanging her coat up before me? She just used the heavy-duty hanger meant for outerwear.

“Naitou-kun’s fashion sense is, um… unique, isn’t it? Does he always dress like that?”

Well, I did ask him to come in his pajamas.

The truth is, the guy’s actually super stylish. An idiot, but a stylish one.

Still, there’s no point in defending him here. I have to harden my heart and pull the rug out from under him.

“He’s always like that.”

“Oh, really? …Ah, and just because I’m talking about another guy doesn’t mean I’m cheating! I don’t think he’s handsome or anything! You’re the only one I love, Shion!”

Is “cheating” the only thing in that head of yours?

No one would ever suspect you of cheating. If you did, it’d be as shocking as a cop shoplifting for a hobby.

“Wow, thanks.”

Just like that, Akane glides over to the kitchen area.

Apparently, she’s going to make dinner. She says she likes cooking.

—She’ll definitely make a great wife. Hope she finds a nice guy. Bye-bye!

“I got to hear what you’re like at school, too. That was nice~”

“I really wish I’d gone to the same university as you, Shion.”

Something that would snatch away all my dreams and hopes—I won’t allow it.

We went to the same high school, so our academic abilities were pretty similar.

Originally, I was planning on getting in through a designated school recommendation and starting my “Life’s a Breeze” YouTube channel. But—

“Maybe I’ll apply to the same university!”

That whisper from the red-haired monster next to me was the catalyst that made me switch tracks to taking the general entrance exams.

After an effort so intense it was like I was sweating blood, I barely managed to drag myself into this university.

“But you chose a university that didn’t have recommendation slots, so I couldn’t help it. It doesn’t even have a culinary arts department.”

Of course it doesn’t. I deliberately chose a university that would give Akane no reason to follow me.

“Well, that aside.”

She shoots me a sharp glare.

“Who was that girl?”

The interrogation has begun. I just heard the click of a landmine activating.

“That’s Aoyama Sora. A second-year student. She’s in the photography club and in the same department as me. She’s a little shorter than I am. I don’t have any romantic feelings for her, and neither does she for me. Furthermore—”

“Why are you talking like a robot?”

“Because you asked ‘who’.”

“Hahaha! That’s hilarious!”

“There’s nothing going on with her.”

To be precise, there was a whole incident. But if she senses that, it’s all over.

Her tone of voice changed.

“…She was obviously into you. What’s that about?”

“Even if you ask me that…”

What am I supposed to do about it? You can’t just control whether someone likes you or not. Dammit!

I’m pretty sure this qualifies as some form of harassment.

“Also, why didn’t you tell me a girl was going to be there beforehand?”

“If I told you every single time—”

Fwing!

A kitchen knife came flying past me.

“…This is a rental, you know.”

Put the knife away. I’m telling you, that’s not a tool for making threats.

“You seem pretty calm, worrying about the wall. I’ll hit you next time.”

“Well, what’s the difference now?”

Behind me were countless stab marks.

The wall is a wreck.

Repair fees for this section are already a given, so if she’s going to throw knives, I might as well have her do it here.

…Hey, you guys. Yeah, the readers. Be honest, you thought ‘she’ll kill me if she finds out’ was just a metaphor, didn’t you?

…My girlfriend isn’t that soft. She will literally throw knives at you, okay?

“If that hits me, I’ll probably die, you know?”

Just for the record, I should probably mention that I’m not some invincible creature.

If a kitchen knife comes flying at me and hits me, I will die. She might have forgotten a simple fact like that.

They always say communication is key.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, I guess ♡”