When I Was Rejected and Returned Home, My Childhood Friend, Who Should Have Been Distant, Was in My Room - Chapter 31: What Does Shogo Suzukawa Feel?

Chapter 31: What Does Shogo Suzukawa Feel?

“You bastard, don’t say such ridiculous things!”

I grab his collar tightly, and I raise my voice loudly. I have known this guy for almost two years, but I yelled at him like this for the first time. However, I couldn’t feel satisfied until I said this much. I thought Manaki Himuro seemed too pitiful.

But, despite my yelling, Masamune looks somewhere off in the distance. I thought he couldn’t meet my eyes, but he was looking at Hoshino Ozasa. Hoshino looks at us with a frustrated face, as if she wants to say something. Sorry, Hoshino, but this is between guys, and I have to say this as his best friend.

“Where are you looking? You’re talking to me right now, aren’t you?”

I pull his collar harder, and Masamune finally faces me. His eyes show emotions that are hard to read. But behind his suppressed expression, there is clear, intense passion.

“I’m not joking around, not even a little.”

Why is he so stubborn? If he cares about Manaki Himuro, there should be other ways to handle this. I feel confused by Masamune’s unclear explanation. And my confusion turns directly into anger.

“If Manaki Himuro is important to you, why do you say things that hurt her on purpose? If you’re scared of her getting hurt, you should protect her!”

“…”

Masamune stays silent, and my anger grows even more.

“You pretend to think about Manaki Himuro, but you don’t care about her at all! Do you understand? Manaki Himuro, Manaki Himuro…!”

The more I see Masamune’s calm expression, the more I feel boiling emotions rising from deep inside me.

“She loves you!”

The emotions swelling in my heart become too big, and my words spill out mixed with tears. I let go of Masamune’s collar, turn my face away, and wipe my eyes. My hand isn’t wet.

“I know that better than you do…”

“What?”

Masamune stands still and mutters something quietly. But my breathing drowns it out, and I can’t hear what he wanted to say. When I ask again, Masamune lifts his face sharply. His eyes show raw emotion, the strongest I’ve seen from him today.

“I don’t need you to tell me that! How many years do you think we’ve been childhood friends?”

Without taking a breath, Masamune shouts. His intensity makes me flinch for a moment.

“Manaki loves me? I know that completely.”

“Then…!”

“But!”

I wanted to tell him not to run away from her, but Masamune’s words cut mine off.

“Love alone can’t protect anything. Even if she’s important, no matter how important, if I can’t protect her, it means nothing.”

Masamune answers calmly. I have so much I want to say, but it feels like nothing gets through to him.

“All this talk about protecting her or being worthy, isn’t that just an excuse to avoid facing Manaki, to cover up the harsh words you threw at her before?”

“What do you know, Shogo? You barely know anything about Manaki, yet you get all worked up on your own.”

Masamune’s words cool me down like cold water. But the next moment, anger and frustration bubble up again.

“You can think whatever you want about yourself, but don’t make Manaki bear the responsibility just because you lack the confidence to accept her feelings!”

I still can’t understand Masamune’s words. It only looks like he’s intimidated by Jingu-senpai, losing confidence on his own, and blaming Manaki for his weakness. On top of that, he’s using her as an excuse. I thought I became best friends with such a pathetic guy, and it makes me want to cry.

“If you want to think you’re unworthy, at least make an effort to become worthy before saying that! If you say you couldn’t protect her, then try protecting Manaki properly and say it with pride! You haven’t done anything, yet you won’t even protect her feelings?”

No matter how angry I get, Masamune’s expression doesn’t change. I might have said too much, and Hoshino might hate me for it. But I wanted to say it. I wanted to tell Manaki to wake up. I wanted to say this guy isn’t worth her love. It’s out of loyalty as a friend. I take a deep breath and say the final blow.

“If you keep acting like that, Manaki would be happier with Jingu-senpai!”

For a moment, I think Masamune’s lips curve upward slightly. For a moment, I think he smiles as if giving up. That expression hits me with a strong sense of unease. It feels like I’ve made a terrible mistake.

The next moment, it happens.

“Stop!”

A loud voice shakes the classroom, cutting through us. It is Hoshino’s voice. I glance at her instinctively, and she is out of breath.

“Sorry, Hoshino…”

I might have lost some composure, but I don’t think I said anything wrong. In this matter, Masamune is completely at fault. There’s no excuse for him.

—

But Hoshino’s gaze is on Masamune. She looks at him, holding back overflowing emotions with a face close to tears, and whispers softly.

“Why… don’t you explain properly?”

“What?”

Ignoring my confusion, Hoshino stares at Masamune and asks.

“That kind of explanation is bound to make Shogo angry… Why do you say it like that?”

Masamune doesn’t meet her eyes at her question. His face clearly shows panic. A vague, bad suspicion rises in me. Masamune says nothing, but a single bead of sweat trickles down.

“Hoshino, what does that mean…?”

Instead of the silent Masamune, I ask Hoshino. She answers while keeping her gaze on him.

“Masaki, you’re not telling the truth, are you?”

“I’m not lying.”

“Then you’re okay with being misunderstood? Right now, you’re betraying Manaki’s feelings.”

“It’s fine, it’s not wrong…”

“I hate it!”

Hoshino firmly denies Masamune’s quiet muttering with a strong tone.

“You make me and Shogo hate you, make us think Jingu-senpai is better for her! You said those awful things so Manaki would end up with Jingu-senpai! Do you really think that’s the right thing?”

I can’t keep up with Hoshino’s words and can’t say anything. What’s going on? Masamune… what? I finally look at him, but he still looks down, avoiding Hoshino’s eyes.

“If that’s your plan, Masaki, I’ll say it.”

“Hoshino.”

Masamune, who I thought would stay silent, speaks one word. Hoshino, who was gaining momentum, stops talking abruptly. Still looking down, Masamune speaks softly.

“If… if you assume you know something.”

Still hunched over, Masamune looks up at Hoshino.

“Who did you hear it from…?”

His voice is chillingly dark, as if desperately denying reality, like he’s convincing himself. His raw emotional voice makes me step back instinctively.

But Hoshino faces Masamune directly. Her eyes are sharp, as if seeing through everything he wants to hide. Without looking away from him, she answers.

“Obviously, from Manaki.”

The moment he hears those words, Masamune slumps into a chair, as if all strength leaves him. Hoshino slowly approaches, step by step, as if confirming something. Looking down at the silent Masamune, she says.

“Masaki. Manaki knew everything.”

Hoshino states it simply, as a fact. I can feel Masamune’s emotions shaking. But I can only stand there, stunned.

“What’s going on… what’s happening…?”

As I struggle to understand, Hoshino turns to me. She lowers her brows apologetically.

“Sorry, I didn’t want you to misunderstand, Shogo. I couldn’t stand seeing best friends fall apart like this.”

Saying that, Hoshino takes a deep breath. Looking between me and Masamune, she continues.

“Then, I’ll tell you the story I heard from Manaki now.”

Muttering that, she begins to tell the truth.