The Virgin Hero Who Fought in the Dungeon for 20 Years Returned to the Surface Only to Find the Population of the World Has Dropped Drastically, with a Male-to-Female Ratio of 1:1000 - 56

Chapter 56: A Happy Saturday

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“Nyuuun… Li-Like I said, there’s no proof that he-he’s the real Ryuuto Sakazaki! Humph! You probably just fell for a scam by a Man-sama! A-After all, even if you-re an A-rank adventurer, you’re oblivious to the traps of the real world!”

“Shut up. Besides, why did you quit being an adventurer? Reaching C-rank at 14 is pretty amazing. Back in middle school, you wouldn’t shut up about wanting to be a cool adventurer like your Onee-chan.”

“Hah! That doesn’t have anything to do with now, does it? A-Anyway, unlike you, my suitable job is ‘Merchant’! How am I supposed to stand out with that?!”

“Oh, come on, Tsumugi. It’s fine, even if your job is a Merchant. A party always needs at least one Merchant. Plus, your unique skills like ‘Summon,’ ‘Negotiation,’ ‘Coin Gather,’ and ‘Appraisal’ are super useful.”

“H-How am I useful with that?! Be-Besides, Merchants are just support for all the flashy frontline and rear-line jobs! Do you even know what people call us? Miser, scavenger, rip-off artist—we’re not in the spotlight! Someone like you, with the super popular job of Magic Swordsman, can’t possibly understand our struggles! Ugh, whatever! I’m going to stop diving into the dungeon, find some creative job on the surface and become a creator or something! Maybe I can become a screenwriter or a manga artist, then cozy up to actors and aim for a dramatic comeback in life! You’re an A-rank, but you don’t even have the faintest whiff of a boyfriend! Idiot! Moron! Your ‘down there’ must be like a spiderweb castle!”

“Ugh… Y-You know, there are some things you can say and some things you can’t—!”

“If it bothers you that much, why not keep a male prostitute or two? Goodbye!”

“Hey, wait a minute!”

As soon as she said that, Tsumugi slammed the door shut and bolted outside. In Loria’s opinion, Tsumugi’s physical abilities were exceptional. Plus, being a Merchant wasn’t all that bad for an adventurer. Her job and skills were plenty valuable when you looked at the party as a whole. But for someone like Tsumugi, who wanted to stand out and aimed for a happy marriage above all else, being a Merchant might not be enough for her.

“Haa… Or maybe, I should stop just waiting around and actually find some kind of hobby or something.”

Loria muttered to herself as she sprawled sideways across the table, letting her long hair drape over it limply. The cold surface of the wooden table felt comforting against her body, overheated from the heating. As an A-rank adventurer, Loria only got about six days off per month, making her days off rare and precious. 

“And yet, here I am, about to throw one of those precious days off down the drain. Ugh, so pointless…”

Feeling like the world was leaving her behind, a deep melancholy settled over Loria. Even the sunlight streaming brightly through the window and the cheerful chirping of sparrows seemed to amplify her gloomy mood.

Maybe I should think about Ryuuto-sama and, um, take care of myself before going back to sleep…

Her precious day off was about to become yet another empty day for this 20 year old girl.  Letting out a small “Fuu,” Loria recalled the image of Ryuuto, whom she’d met in a dungeon, and gave her chest a squeeze.

“Hiyaa!”

As if on cue, her smartphone, which had been lying near her ear, suddenly blared an old-school rock band, her favorite tune. Her heart thumped in surprise.

“Yeah, right. Calls like this are usually about work.”

Friends, acquaintances, or party members usually contacted her through LINE or email. If it was a phone call, it was almost always her mother, with her old-fashioned mindset, or the Explorers’ Guild. Looking at the screen, she saw the call was from an unknown number. Without giving it much thought, Loria picked up the call.

“Yes, hello?”

Maybe her voice carried a tinge of irritation, because she heard a small gasp from the other end.

What’s this? If it’s about something uninteresting, I’m going to lose it for real. 

“U-Umm… Is this Loria Himejima-san’s phone?”

This voice…!

“Ye-Yes! Yes, this is Loria Himejima speaking!

Her voice raised a pitch. Why? Because the voice on the other end belonged to the man with whom she’d had the longest conversation of her life outside her immediate family.

“Ah, it’s me. Sakazaki. Ryuuto Sakazaki. Do you remember me?”

“Y-Yes! Yes, I remember! Thank you for calling!”

“Ah, glad to hear that. So, uh, the LINE account I gave you back then—it wasn’t mine. It was Haruka’s. You know, Haruka Shimomura? The girl you helped rescue.”

“I-I thought so!”

We’re still connected! Thank goodness, thank goodness! He didn’t block me! Ryuuto-sama didn’t hate me! God hasn’t abandoned me! Yes, yes, I won! Victory! Absolute victory!

“Anyway, about that, I exchanged LINE info with everyone else back then too, but Haruka said she blocked them all. I was hoping to apologize to everyone personally for that.”

“Oh, that’s fine! I’ll let everyone know your ID and tell them to add you as a friend!”

“That’s great. Thanks.”

“Sure thing!”

Yeah, no way I’m telling them. I’m the only one who needs to stay connected with Ryuuto-sama!

Needless to say, at that moment, Loria’s face twisted into a smile of unparalleled wickedness.

“And, um, to change the subject a bit…”

“Yes! I love when the subject changes suddenly!”

“Uh, o-okay. Good to know, I guess.”

J-Just what am I talking about? It’s painfully obvious that Ryuuto-sama is confused at my reaction! His trembling voice… His unsteady breathing… He’s obviously flustered! 

And yet, having zero experience with men, Loria was desperate to keep the conversation going. She couldn’t think about what to say next. 

“Well, actually, I’ve got some free time. There are a few days left until I start school for explorers. So I figured I should go around greeting people. And so, if it works for you, Loria I would like to-…”

“Any time works for me! No matter what happens, I’ll drop everything to rush to Ryuuto-sama’s side. Wherever it may be! Even to the ends of the earth! I’ll give up everything for you!”

“N-No, it’s not that serious though. I just thought we could meet up and chat for a bit. But, yeah, I realized a regular café or family restaurant might not be the best option…”

“Th-Then, Ryuuto-sama, why don’t you come over to my house instead!?”

“Huh?”

Only after those words left her mouth Loria finally realized the hidden meaning behind them. Her face turned deathly pale as she processed what she had just said. 

Inviting someone to my home… I’m practically asking him to come and embrace me!

Of course, that wasn’t her actual intention. However, Loria’s negative experience points when it came to men made it impossible for her to know the right way to handle this situation. She had no choice but to bluff her way out. Her brain spun at full speed.

“N-No, I mean, actually, I’ve got three dolphins at home.”

“Whoa?! Three dolphins?! That’s amazing!”

It was an incredulous lie. One that could be exposed easily. 

“I-I-I-I-I-It’s not that amazing or anything! It’s pretty normal nowadays!”

“Oooh… What are their names? Your dolphins. “

“N-Names? Uh, um, well… From the top, they’re Saimaki, Tempura, and Sashimi. I, uh, caught them during a BBQ by the Tama River with some folks from the association. Yeah, that’s it! My little sister has the highest-level dolphin certification, so she caught them with this barbed net and knocked them out by giving them a little bop on the head with a deck brush…”

While trying to cover up her lie. Loria ended up making her lie more chaotic. The more she tried to patch things up, the more ridiculous her story became.

“A high-level dolphin certification!? They have something like that now!?”

“Y-Yeah. Oh, and the dolphins’ main diet is, uh, beetle larvae and ranchu goldfish. Tempura, the biggest foodie, especially loves munching on ranchu eggs, popping them one by one with her front teeth. And she loves smooth textures, so she gulps them down in one go. My little sister dotes on them too. When it’s stormy, she even sleeps in the same bed with them—”

“Seriously?! Now I need to visit your place, Loria! I want to see them!”

“Absolutely! By all means! Oh, and could you come around noon? I, uh, need time to prepare. Ryuuto-sama, you can’t really eat out without any special preparations first, right? That’s why… I’ll make lunch for you!”

“……”

I said it! Isn’t this way too much? We’re not even dating or anything, and this is only the second time we’ve met. Offering homemade food is way too heavy for a second time meeting! Loria, you idiot, idiot, idiot! God, just thirty seconds—no, ten seconds! Please turn back time! Oh no, this silence is unbearable—

“Oooh… You’re really going to cook for me?”

“Eh? Umm… No, I mean, I was…”

“No, I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m touched. Really. A home-cooked meal, huh? I’ve been eating a lot of convenience store food lately. But are you sure it’s not too much trouble?”

“Trouble? Not at all! Whatever you desire, just name it! This Loria Himejima will put her life on the line to make it for you.”

“Okay, then… How about miso mackerel?”

“Huh?”

“And miso soup with rice. If there’s potato salad, that’d be perfect.”

“Is that really all you’d like? I could prepare a swallow’s nest, bear paw, elephant trunk, foie gras, or shark fin if you’d prefer…”

“Nah, I don’t eat elephant trunks. I mean, what if I start going ‘hiiiing~’ after eating it? Anyway, I just haven’t had much fish lately. I mean, I can cook for myself, but I can only do fried stuff or stir-fry vegetables. Or… Is that too much to ask?”

“Absolutely not! I shall prepare the world’s finest miso mackerel, crafted by none other than Loria Himejima.”

“Okay. I guess I will come over at 12 PM?”

“Yes. I will send you my address!”

Loria couldn’t bring herself to hang up first, so the call ended with a small click from Ryuuto. With that, Loria’s world plunged into complete silence again, but she didn’t feel lonely. Her heart was filled with warmth from the conversation. Almost reflexively, she kissed her phone with a soft chu.

“Kyaa!”

Clutching her flushed cheeks, her face turned bright red. She replayed Ryuuto’s voice endlessly in her mind, letting it loop over and over… Until she snapped out of it.

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T/N: How is she going to catch a dolphin…? No. Three dolphins even… How??