Volume 2 Chapter 32: Mm‐hm【The Aristocratic Council Arc】

“I won’t forgive you… I will definitely show you hell…!”

Curses spill from my mouth without any effort.
That they come out unbidden shows they are truly from the depths of my heart.

And the target of my curse is, of course, Kelphine.
Sending an assassin after me…

Just because of a few words, you’re coming to take my life? Are you out of your mind?
You little runt…

“Master, to be able to harbor such hatred against the four great nobles—impressive, as always.”
“Hmph, don’t flatter me…”

At Nanashi’s little grunt, I can’t help but break into a smug smile.
As long as she keeps me in a good mood, that’s enough.

…Huh?
Come to think of it, that hardly seems like praise…?

“Before proceeding, could you please sign?”

With that, Nanashi smoothly offers me a document.
You… even though this place is so steamy…

Still, in my good mood, I glance over the document Nanashi handed me.
What do we have here?

It states that all rights and property of the Apophis family are to be transferred to Nanashi free of charge.

“Ha ha ha!”

I break into a wide smile and tear the document to shreds.

“Ahh!? My painstakingly prepared last will…”
“Isn’t it odd for a maid to force her master to write a will?”

It was boldly titled 【Will】.
Don’t mess with me.

I won’t leave behind a will that grants you any inheritance; even if I did, it would be nothing but a barrage of curses against this world that killed me.
I let out a long sigh.

I look up at the ceiling and blurt out the question that had been bothering me.

I mean, isn’t it odd that I’m here, as if it’s perfectly normal?

Yes.
I’m in the inn’s large bath.

Normally, it would be filled with other guests, but now—cleared out with the intent of killing me—it’s completely private.
…I hate to say it, but it’s because they intend to kill me.

Of course, I’m here to bathe.
Being a high‐end inn, the bath is spacious and splendidly built.

Since it’s been reserved for me, there’s no reason not to take a bath.
…But.

Why is Nanashi also soaking in the bath…?
She’s in there with a nonchalant expression, as if it were the most natural thing.

Perhaps because of the hot water, even my iron mask is slightly flushed.

“It’s not strange, you know.”
“Huh, really?”

She says it so casually that I almost nod in agreement.
Well, I don’t really mind it, anyway.

We’re not at the stage of squealing over each other’s naked bodies anymore.
Besides, knowing Nanashi’s true nature, no matter how hard I try, I wouldn’t react.

She’s a woman who openly proclaims her aim for my fortune.
She’s so feeble…
And, she’s flat‐chested.

“I think it’s only them, but if by any chance reinforcements or a different assassin show up, won’t it be a problem?”
“That you would come to serve as my shield…”

It seems she’s finally come to her senses.
I’ll bestow upon her the title of Lifetime Honorary Meat Shield.
Let that motivate her from now on.

“At that time, since we’ll have to use you as bait to escape…”
“No matter what happens, I won’t let you go.”

I won’t let Nanashi escape, no matter what.
When the time inevitably comes that I absolutely must die, she will surely take me with her.

Having made up my mind, then…

“A love confession? Lord Balor.”
“Izun…”

Another female voice.
I turn around wearily to see Izun standing there.

Naturally, she isn’t wearing her customary Eprondress—she’s covering her front with a towel.
However, the clearly defined curves of her body aren’t entirely concealed.

Stop teasing Nanashi. Look—your eyes are fixed on her body.

“It jiggles every time she moves…?”

Ah, I’m about to end up crying along with her…
Ignoring Nanashi’s reaction, Izun steps into the bath humming a tune.

“Eh, you’re getting in? Your body is so unnervingly close, and our shoulders are pressed together—it’s unsettling.”

Didn’t I say I’m not good with human contact? Besides, there’s no way that some inexplicable, repulsive force in the water will affect me, right?
I hope I won’t end up looking like a mummy, too.

“Master, your excessive wariness about the power you received is truly something.”

Heh, yeah. Follow my example.

“Even if I die, I’m sorry.”

…………

“You’re so unfair, Lord Balor! Confess your love to Izun too!”

Izun, clearly under some ridiculous misunderstanding, puffs out her cheeks and charges at me, her bright red eyes sparkling.
As she stands up, her ethereally white skin is revealed.
Man, she’s seriously pale.

“That wasn’t meant that way, so relax.”
“That’s right, Izun. Are you trying to make me puke?”

Nanashi and I—unusually in agreement—join forces to persuade Izun.
We both can’t stand the thought of being seen as that kind of pair.

But if it comes to the point where I end up looking so pathetic as to vomit, should I whisper words of love to you?
…Ah, no. This is a bath, after all.

It’d turn into a scene from hell, and I’d end up suffering too.

“Lord Balor! Wash my hair!”

Before I know it, Izun is tugging me upright.
“Do you even have any sense of duty as a maid?”

“Ha ha ha! It’s not good that you’re seeing everything, Izun.”

Since she’s thrown aside the towel that was covering her front, nothing is left to conceal Izun’s body.
This is strictly for adults.

Her pure white skin is like that of a fairy.
(I’ve never seen a fairy, so who knows.)

However, her chest, trembling with every slight movement, is utterly irresistible to Nanashi…!

She’s surprisingly the type who looks slimmer when clothed.
Even if she’s a bastard, her looks are refined—and when push comes to shove, I might let her ingratiate herself with those lecherous foes.

“But Master, she’s not reacting at all.”

Nanashi, circling around me, fixes her gaze on my lower abdomen.
What are you looking at, you pervert?
I might as well award you the title of Ultimate Perverted Maid.

“Mmmph! It feels so good!”

I work the soap into her hair vigorously, and Izun narrows her eyes, stretching like a cat.
Even the slightest movement makes her jiggle.
(I won’t say where, though.)
But really—having the master wash your hair?
Usually, it’s the other way around, right?

“Izun, learn to wash your own hair!”
“Lord Balor will do it, so I’m fine!”

Izun smiles brightly.
How long are you going to keep bossing me around?
I just can’t believe it.

“Master, what shall we do now?”
“Ah… that guy, his final words were ‘Kelphine,’ weren’t they?”

Nanashi approaches and asks.
I find myself tearing up at how utterly lacking in curves my body is compared to Izun’s.
The name that assassin uttered in his final moments… Kelphine.
He is one of the four great nobles known to all.

But to have your life targeted by one of the four great nobles…
What the hell did I ever do…?

That’s one seriously misplaced grudge.
Maybe there’s something wrong with his humanity, Kelphine.

“We have to do something about this…”
I rub my chin, deep in thought.
If it were just ordinary court nobles, I could at worst flee back to my lands.
Of course, they’d take their revenge on me, so simply running away isn’t enough.
Still, going up against court nobles in this capital without any preparation is clearly a bad idea.

For now, retreating to my lands to prepare isn’t a bad plan.
Besides, no ordinary court noble has the power to do anything about me once I’ve returned home.
But when it comes to the four great nobles, it’s an entirely different story.
If I’m held in such contempt by them, retreating without changing the situation might actually lead to my lands being completely confiscated.
Those incompetent fools wield that much power.
So, running away alone won’t do.

Retaliation.
I must launch a counterattack so that they never dare oppose me again.

“Yeah, Izun, do your best too!”
“Oh, that’s encouraging.”

Izun cheerfully raises her hand.
Mm-hmm.

Work yourself to the bone for me, like a workhorse.
Because that is the duty not only of you, Izun, but of every living being in this world.

“Father, defeat him!”
“Mmm-hmm.”

……Huh?