The Old Man Is Being Shared by Three Gyarus?! ~An Ordinary Salaryman Is Adored by Energetic, Beautiful Gyarus, and His Daily Life With Gyarus Begins Now!~ - 116

Chapter 116: Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun…

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Why is Maria-san’s (assumption) older sister here!? And why is she wearing the same chima jeogori (Korean traditional clothing) as the students!? And why is she wearing round glasses too!?

“Is something the matter, Sir? You look a little pale.”

“D-Don’t worry about it…”

I answered while keeping my face forward. The cold sweat wouldn’t stop pouring!

Huh? What? Is she here as a helper or something? No, that doesn’t make sense. She’s definitely too old for that. She’s absolutely over twenty. In fact, given the intensity of her presence, she could easily be twenty-four or twenty-five, maybe even older…

“…Something wrong?”

Kaede-san gave me a piercing look.

“N-No… Haha…”

The pressure was no joke. 

Wait, is she a hitman sent to kill me or something?

Meanwhile, Misaki-san and the others were too busy with their Korean-style waffles to notice the arrival of this female Terminator. 

Are you serious!?

“You still have that foolish look on your face, I see. Well, no matter. A customer is a customer. Here is your order.”

Kaede-san, who carried far too heavy a presence to be called a high school girl, gracefully placed the plate in front of me.

Huh?

Something felt off about the waffle on the plate.

I had ordered the rich matcha flavor, but for some reason, there was a mountain of thick, greenish paste piled on top. The pure white whipped cream, which should have been sandwiched between the layers, was nowhere in sight.

“Uh… What’s this…?”

“This is your special wasabi cream flavor, as per your order.”

The Terminator answered with a straight face.

“…Huh?”

“Wasabi cream flavor.”

Wait. You’re telling me this entire thing is just pure tube wasabi? What is this, a punishment game from a variety show…?

“H-Huh? But I ordered matcha—”

“I prepared this special menu just for you, Nagumo-sama. Please, enjoy it to your heart’s content. And do make sure to finish every last bite.”

Kaede-san made sure to emphasize her point as she said so. Then, she bowed politely, and left our table. I sat there in stunned silence.

“…What…”

Why is she doing this to me after just meeting me once!? Did I even do something to deserve this!?

Completely at a loss, I sat there bewildered until Maria-san, who was sitting next to me, spoke up while staring at my plate.

“Nagumo-kun, you’re not gonna eat that? Droooool…”

The ever-hungry Maria (17 years old) had locked onto the wasabi waffle.

“Eh… Ah, no! I-I am eating it! I’m not giving it to anyone!”

I hurriedly covered the plate with both hands.

“Ehh! But I wanted to try the matcha flavor too, Ossan!”

No, this isn’t matcha! This is a hazardous substance called ultra-spicy wasabi flavor. Misaki-san and Risa-san might be able to handle it, but I definitely can’t let Maria-san eat this. I must put my body on the line to protect Saint-sama! Stay strong, Yuuki Nagumo! You can do this!

Steeling myself, I cut a piece of the waffle. Stabbing it with my fork, I cautiously brought it to my mouth. 

…Here goes nothing!

Munch…

Oh, maybe this isn’t so ba—

“Gofuh!? Gofueh!?”

From the very first bite, I started choking violently, tears welling up in my eyes.

“Haha! Ossan is crying because the matcha is so good!”

No. You’re wrong…

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I went through hell…

With tears in my eyes, I managed to finish the Agony Dessert (courtesy of a 25-year-old “fresh” high school girl). As soon as I did, I was dragged out of Classroom 1-B by three gyarus in cosplay who were grumbling, “You didn’t share with us!”

My mouth was still burning. I needed something sweet to refresh myself as soon as possible.

“So? What are we eating next?”

“Next up… D-Class has warabi mochi drinks… Wait, oh crap!! C-Class next door has a ‘Game Center’!! No way we’re skipping this!!”

…Is this a trap?

In the end, we took another detour before heading to the Japanese-style café. This time, the game of choice was a Giant Typing Challenge. A massive keyboard was made by sticking small cushions onto the blackboard. The goal was to type as many English words as possible within the time limit. It could also be played in teams of two.

“Elementary school English? Pfft, easy!”

“Onii-san and Maria-chan are gonna get wrecked! Misaki and I will show you our perfect teamwork!”

The two of them were all fired up. Since filming was allowed, I decided to record a video.

“‘Apple’ is ‘Appo,’ right? A-P-P-O.”

“It’s A-P-P-L-E!!”

This is going to be rough…

“Next is ‘banana’!”

“Oh! I got this! It starts with a ‘T’!”

“Huh? ‘T’!? I’m pretty sure it’s ‘B’…”

“Leave it to me! T, I, N, K, O… Done! TINKO (chinko=dick)!!”

“Oh, I see. Like that video in Onii-san’s collection, right? The one where a blindfolded lady licks a condensed milk banana like it’s a dick. That was a planned theme video, wasn’t it…? Wait, LIKE HELL IT WAS!!”

That was an impressive setup and punchline moment.

For the record, in those kinds of videos, things usually escalate until the real thing gets all wet and soft. And in the end, the girl in the video is swallowing down some “thick condensed milk” filled with protein and life essence.

“Hey, hey, Nagumo-kun! I want to try blindfolded condensed milk banana—”

“Maria-san, you shouldn’t know about that ye—”

Wait. Hold on a second.

“How about we do a trial test in my room sometime? Blindfolded condensed milk banana, I mean.”

“Sounds fun.”

Real-life planned theme video! Here we go!

A shiver ran down my spine. I felt a sharp gaze piercing into me, freezing my smile. This overwhelming pressure… I swear I just felt it not long ago… I was too scared to turn around, so I pretended not to notice.

“‘Small’ is ‘Smo—'”

“Risa’s boobs!!”

“LIKE YOURS ARE ANY BIGGER, DAMN IT!!”

Thanks to Misaki-san and Risa-san constantly turning everything into a comedy skit, Maria and I ended up dominating the game.

“Onii-san is disqualified.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Teaming up with Maria-chan, the second best student in our grade? That’s cheating!!”

“…”

Hooo. I had no idea Maria was such a good student.

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“Alright, then! The warabi mochi drink is on the old man!”

The warabi mochi drink too, huh? Well, it’s at a festival price, so I don’t really mind.

We had finally arrived at the Japanese-style café, placed our orders, and were now waiting for them to arrive. The atmosphere inside the classroom had a pure, traditional Japanese vibe, making it incredibly relaxing. Come to think of it, this cultural festival was supposed to be open for outsiders, but I had been ridiculously busy since this morning. I was starting to feel a bit sleepy… Maybe I could take a moment to relax.

“Yaaawn…”

“You still have the same idiotic look on your face, I see.”

The moment I heard that voice from behind, the theme song of a certain killer cyborg from the future started playing in my head.

Dun-dun dun-dun, dun-dun dun-dun…

I turned around, dread creeping up my spine.

—Hnnahhh!?

What I found was a terrifyingly oppressive gaze looking down at me. The sheer mercilessness in those eyes sent a chill through me, so intense that even the word death flashed through my mind.

“Thank you for waiting. Here is your warabi mochi drink… Citric acid flavor.”

Dun-dun dun-dun!!

It was the return of Kaede the Female Terminator. Her “I’ll be back” had come far too soon, and I was already drenched in a cold sweat.

“……Ahaha.”

I tried flashing a friendly smile to lighten the mood, but it had no effect. If anything, I could see the glint of pure murderous intent deep in her eyes.

Have I… done something wrong to deserve this?

“…Blindfolded condensed milk banana…”

Kaede-san muttered in a low, menacing tone, as if answering my unspoken question.

“……”

I-I-I-I-I-I’m about to get terminatedddddd—?!

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