The Most Beautiful Girl in School Has Become a Mother - Chapter 51

On a spring evening, I walk side by side with Miori along the school route. As usual, we are here to pick up Shuri.

Miori was pondering what kind of games would be good to play with Shinya and Sumomo. She had been cheerfully suggesting card games or playing tag and hide-and-seek outdoors.

I nodded along appropriately while glancing between her and me. Since we were walking side by side, her hand was right there.

A distance that seems close yet far away. It was as if it represented the distance between us.

If I try to connect like back then, what would happen──I can’t help but think about such things. But thoughts like “What if I’m rejected?” rushed in, and I couldn’t move forward any further.

It’s not a plum, but I can’t help but be aware of my own cowardice.

“It’s just a woman’s excuse, so figure it out.”

The words of Sumomo resurface in my mind.

Of course, there is no certainty in those words. It could be just Sumomo’s arbitrary assumption, or perhaps a hopeful speculation. Given Miori’s nature, there is also a possibility that she genuinely cares about Shuri.

How much can I desire? How far can I go before it becomes a burden for her?

Such questions race through my mind.

Our shoulders would occasionally touch, and each time they did, she would be considerate and create a bit of distance, only for the distance to gradually close again. This was a cycle we kept repeating.

If I stretch my hand a little, I can hold her hand, and if I stretch my hand a little more, I can pull her shoulder closer. It was just the right distance to do that.

What was lacking, as Sumomo said, was just my courage.

If this sense of distance is just my arrogance, or if it was a misunderstanding on Sumomo’s part──if it becomes awkward and she stops being “Mom”──the one who would be the saddest would be Shuri.

And this little family play with the three of us is comfortable for me too, and it was my privilege to see Imiya Miori when no one else was watching. Honestly, it’s sad that I won’t be able to see that anymore.

Looking at it this way, it’s obvious how cowardly I am, but this isn’t just my problem. It also involves Shuri. That’s why I can’t take a step forward with a “here goes!” I want to believe I’m not a coward…

“…Are you listening?”

Before I knew it, Miori was looking at me with a puzzled expression.

It seemed that I had been nodding along too casually, and the flow of the conversation had become awkward.

“U-um, I’m sorry. What was it again?”

“It’s about dinner tonight. Are you okay? You’ve been spaced out for a while… Are you feeling unwell?”

“N-No, I’m fine! I’m just a bit hungry!”

When I hurriedly said that, she tilted her head and asked, “Was there not enough side dish today?”

“But with that lunchbox, I can’t add any more…”

And then, Miori places her hand on her chin, looking troubled.

Oh, shoot. I’m making her worry about unnecessary things.

“No, no, it’s just that I’m particularly hungry today, so that’s fine.”

“Really? …Then, I’ll make a bit more dinner than usual today.”

Miori smiled as if to say, “It can’t be helped.”

That smile is really cute, and it naturally warms my heart. And when I think that I might not be able to see that smile depending on my every move, I can’t help but feel a bit scared.

I replied, “I’m looking forward to it,” and secretly let out a sigh of disappointment. Of course, the disappointment was directed at myself.

──In the end, aren’t I just a coward?

The time I can spend with Miori is actually quite limited.

Since she is playing the role of “mom,” it’s only natural, but most of the time, Shuri is in between.

At school, we only sit next to each other, so it’s not like we’re alone together, and during lunch break, there are four of us. We spend a lot of time together, but it’s not like we’re alone together.

The time we can spend together is basically just the commute from the nursery to school. Or, on days when there are five or six periods at school, we have a little time to hang out together.

However, that doesn’t mean we’re doing anything like a date during that time. We mostly end up spending it buying toys and daily necessities (clothes, changes of clothes, and other essentials) for Shuri, so in the end, it’s all for Shuri.

In the first place, the reason we started getting along was because I played the role of “mom.” Without that pretense, I wouldn’t have been able to get close to Miori. That kind of relationship is probably resonating here as well.

There are no complaints about the days spent with her and Shuri. Compared to how I was until last month, it’s enjoyable and relaxing.

However, every time I see her profile smiling happily, the feeling of dissatisfaction accumulates.

The depth of human greed is unfathomable. For example, if I were to satisfy my current sense of dissatisfaction, what would I end up wanting from her? If I keep wanting more, wouldn’t it just burden her?

Such anxiety just wouldn’t go away for me.

“Mom!”

When I go to the nursery, Shuri still hugs Miori’s belly as usual.

This was just another usual occurrence, something I had already gotten used to. The surrounding moms and daycare workers were watching with warm smiles.

“As always, doesn’t Shuri-chan really love her ‘mommy’?”

“Ah, Kijima-san. Thank you.”

The nursery teacher, Kijima-san, came out from the back and sighed as she watched the two of them.

“So? Until when is Isaki-san going to keep being a coward?”

And then, she looks at me with a bewildered expression.

“…I know I’m a coward, so please don’t say it.”

“Oh? So you can acknowledge that you’re a coward. That’s a step forward. Even Aristotle said that knowing your ignorance is the first step.”

“You’re so annoying, you know that?”

Even though she is superior, I found myself gradually unable to use honorifics around her.

“But, being shown something like that… don’t you think I’d get weak if I thought that the relationship might change and this scene might disappear?”

As I spoke, I gazed at Miori and Shuri. Kijima-san followed my gaze.

There was Shuri clinging to Miori as if she would never let go, and in response, Miori was gently stroking Shuri’s head. Watching them like this, it’s strange how they really seem like a parent and child.

“Mom, I love you!”

“Mom loves Shuri-chan, so much too!”

Miori also knelt on the floor, hugging Shuri tightly.

The two of them have such dazzling smiles that when I see them, all my desires and everything else just vanish. It feels as if the peace of the world, or happiness, or something like that, is all condensed into that moment.

If I think about the possibility of not being able to see these two smiles anymore because my desires seeped out, isn’t it only natural to hesitate?

“There’s no way I can win this, right?”

Kijima-san looked at the scene and, for some reason, smiled as if she had given up.

What was she supposed to win against whom? I tilt my head in confusion, unable to grasp anything from the context.

“What does it mean?”

“It’s nothing, just my own business.”

Kijima-san cleared her throat and then gave me a resigned smile once again.

And she added this.

“Then… if you want to preserve this scene, I think it would be quicker for the two of you to become something special together, don’t you think?”