The Gal Game Heroines Who Were Supposed to Die Somehow Learned My Secret ～By the Way, Where Did My [Diary] Go?～ - SS 5: [Four-Idiot Meeting]

SS 05: [Four-Idiot Meeting]

“Nooo! It’s Four-Way Meeting, not Idiot Meeting!”

“Very well, I’ll accept the challenge.”

“Today of all days, I won’t back down.”

“I won’t lose either~!”

All four of them shot to their feet at once. The air in the room tightened instantly, their gazes clashing like sparks. It felt like the night before a decisive battle. In the middle of it all, Satsuki turned to me with sharp eyes.

“Sorry, Satoshi-kun! We’re stepping outside to settle this!”

“Yeah, just be back before dinner.”

Meanwhile, I didn’t even bother looking up, still scrolling through stock charts to find a promising company. My reply came out half-hearted at best.

The room soon fell quiet. The tick-tock of the clock echoed loudly, filling the silence. I pulled off my blue-light glasses, straightened my back, and let out a long breath. Lately I’d felt my eyesight slipping, so I wore those things for peace of mind more than anything else.

“Still… you girls really are close.”

Every so often the four of them got into little spats. And every time, they solved it by holding what they called a Four-Way Meeting—a formal debate to hash things out.

If I remembered right, that day’s topic was whether I looked better with glasses or without them.

And of course they took it seriously. They even prepped documents and gave presentations. My job was to sit there and tune it all out, which by now had become second nature.

After all, I’d already built up the mental endurance required to survive their nonstop barrage of embarrassing praise.

Honestly, if it were anyone else, their psyche would’ve collapsed in a matter of minutes.

If you’re going to gush about your “favorite,” at least do it somewhere out of earshot of said favorite.

…That was my one complaint, as the guy being “favored.”

“Come to think of it… what do they even do in those Four-Way Meetings?”

I’d heard the term before—back when I still only knew them as characters in the game.

But ever since I dodged the death endings and they’d started living at my apartment, they hadn’t held a Four-Way Meeting at home.

Instead, they always went out—probably to a family restaurant or café somewhere.

“…Now I’m curious. Maybe I should go take a peek.”

They usually stuck to the same handful of places, so all I had to do was check them one by one. If I wandered around long enough, I was bound to find them.

◇

Sure enough, at a nearby family restaurant, I spotted them—four dazzling beauties.

There was a phrase: “they stand out no matter where they are.” That was exactly it.

Surrounded by students in uniforms, tired office workers grabbing dinner, and noisy families, the four of them alone looked like they carried their own personal spotlight.

Me? I was just background. For damage control, I pulled my cap low and tugged my mask up, walking the fine line between “suspicious guy” and “don’t-look-at-me extra.”

Luckily, the restaurant had booths with high walls. Thanks to that, I managed to slip into the seat right next to them without being noticed.

Pretending to study the menu, I pricked up my ears. Their cheerful chatter floated over.

Sneaking a sideways glance, I saw their table piled with parfaits, cakes, and pancakes, while colorful drinks gleamed in tall glasses.

“Reine-chan, you’ve got cream on your mouth~.”

“Nmuu… thanks.”

“Shuna, you’ve totally become the big sister type.”

“Fufu, well, Reine-san is like the youngest child of the group.”

“I told you, I’m not the youngest! If anything, I’m the older sister!”

“Yeah, no chance.”

…Yeah, I had to agree with that.

Teasing Reine aside, at least for now there wasn’t even a hint of fighting. That was a relief.

This wasn’t the table-thumping, sparks-flying debate I’d imagined a Four-Way Meeting would be.

Instead, it was a peaceful scene—smiles all around and the sweet scent of desserts in the air.

“Haa…”

Satsuki suddenly let out a deep sigh. The cheerful atmosphere from a moment ago dipped instantly.

“What’s wrong?”

Reine tilted her head, and Satsuki lowered her gaze with a serious look.

“Lately… I’ve been troubled about something. I want to talk it over with you guys.”

What…!?

I straightened on instinct.

Was it something she couldn’t tell me about? Something the four of them had to deal with on their own, leaving me in the dark?

My fingers trembled slightly around the coffee cup as I strained to catch every word.

And then—

“The truth is… I think our nights have been getting kind of stale lately.”

……… 

……

…

…Hah?

The clink of ice in my glass sounded like a gunshot.

“Satsuki-chan too, huh~? Actually, I feel the same way~.”

…Eh?

“What a coincidence. Me too…”

Eh? Eh??

Wait—hold on. The air had gone suddenly heavy with seriousness, but what they were saying didn’t match my reality at all!?

You four had been the most fired-up every single night, right!?

Even last night I’d nearly blacked out from being drained dry, remember!?

…No, calm down.

If they really had complaints, then as their boyfriend I needed to hear them out properly.

“It’s just, you know… Satoshi-kun never takes the lead himself, right?”

“Yeah~. In the end, it’s always just us chasing him down and jumping him~.”

“I want Satoshi to want me—to come after me himself…”

…Okay, wow. I was genuinely sorry.

But listen—try handling four of you every single day.

The fact that I was still alive and not completely dried up should already count as a miracle worthy of praise.

“M-M-More importantly, if Satoshi ever got interested in some woman other than us, then what… what would I do…?”

Reine’s voice wavered, on the verge of tears.

“There, there, Reine-chan. Don’t worry~.”

“Mm… nn.”

Shuna pulled her close with practiced ease, soothing her like it was routine.

…Yeah, I got their frustrations loud and clear.

Guess I’d better stop by the pharmacy on the way home and pick up some stamina supplements. Yep.

“You’re all being far too shameless.”

With that clear, composed voice, Shino gently set her coffee cup on its saucer. Clink. That tiny sound tightened the air. Every gesture of hers was refined, and with glossy black hair framing her face, she looked like she’d stepped out of a painted scroll.

As expected of the daughter of the Shinonome conglomerate.

Even something as ordinary as drinking coffee became a ritual in her hands.

“Satoshi-san is handling all four of us alone, you realize? Of course it’s physically impossible to demand any more of him.”

Shinooo…!

That was compassion. True compassion.

As expected of our noble Shinonome princess!

“Then what should we do…?”

Satsuki tilted her head, curious, and Shino answered with a gentle, reassuring smile.

“Fufu, not to worry. I already have a solution in mind.”

“As expected of our resident lewd genius!”

“Our shameless pervert~.”

“Succubus queen.”

Shuna and Satsuki tossed out their usual teasing jabs, and even Reine giggled, her shoulders shaking.

“Fufu—

━━━Who are you calling a pervert, hah!?”

“…Eh?”

Time froze.

Did… did Shino just deliver a Kansai-style tsukkomi!?

All three of them blinked in unison, struck speechless.

Shino—the very symbol of elegance, the lustful Yamato-Nadeshiko herself—had just dropped a casual comedic retort…?

She cleared her throat softly.

Her black hair swayed as she smoothed her expression back into that of a flawless young lady, as if nothing at all had happened.

“By the way, are you all familiar with the forty-eight techniques?”

The moment Shino brought it up so calmly, a cold sweat ran down my back.

…Uh oh. This was heading into dangerous territory.

The forty-eight techniques—an old Edo-era catalog of sexual positions. Basically, a manual of bedroom moves.

“Yup, I know it.”

Satsuki nodded without hesitation.

“Wait, so you mean… if we study those, it’ll stop things from getting stale? But then it’d only last forty-eight days~.”

Shuna chuckled innocently, while Reine slid off her chest pillow and crossed her arms, flashing a smug smile. Her crossed legs and grown-up pose only made her look like a kid pretending to be mature.

“…Such shallow thinking.”

“Ehh~? Then what do you mean, Reine-chan?”

“…Shino. Please explain it to these two idiots.”

She tossed out the order with an air of superiority, then went quiet again—classic Reine.

Shino took a measured breath and lifted her cup with graceful fingers.

She traced the rim, raised it to her lips, and sipped. Even setting it back on the saucer was done with flawless poise. Honestly, it could’ve been called a study in elegance.

“We four are all Satoshi-san’s lovers.”

“Right.”

“Which means, if we combine the forty-eight techniques among four people, they expand into forty-eight to the power of four.”

…What kind of nonsense math was that!?

I quietly downed my coffee, desperately trying to calm my nerves.

“Eh? So what does that actually mean?”

Satsuki tilted her head, while Shuna pressed a finger to her lips like she was thinking hard.

“Mm~… basically, since the four of us can mix and match the forty-eight techniques, that means we can enjoy 5,308,416 variations~?”

“That’s right.”

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF NUMBER IS THAT!?

“In that case, we’re fine! No way things will ever get stale!”

“Yup yup! Now we can relax! As expected of Shino-chan, you’re amazing~.”

“Fufu, this much is hardly worth mentioning.”

“Fufu, indeed.”

The four of them nodded, satisfied, wearing those smug, triumphant expressions.

What were these idiots even talking about!?

Satsuki and Shuna slapped a high-five, while Shino and Reine beamed with proud, self-satisfied grins.

Oi, Reine!

You dumped all the explaining onto Shino—so why do you look so smug right now!?

Damn it, I wanted to hug that face just to wipe that grin off!

Eventually, all four of them broke into warm, sunny smiles.

From my perspective? Pure madness.

“But you know~… can we really do it 5,308,416 times?”

Of course not!!

“Mm~ true. But since we’ve got the chance, we should try to complete them all~.”

NO NO NO NO NO!!

“If we assume once a day, that would take… about 14,543 years to finish.”

That’s exactly what I’d been saying!!

Even the entire Gregorian calendar hasn’t lasted that long!!

“Fufu, our dear Satoshi. Doing it a hundred times a day should be nothing for you.”

That still meant 145 years, damn it!!

“Exactly! Because it’s Satoshi-kun!”

I told you, I was a human being, not a machine!!

…This was bad.

The discussion was careening straight into total insanity.

And then—one of them dragged me into even deeper hell.

“But you know… the forty-eight techniques were thought up back in the Edo period, right~?”

Shuna tilted her head, sipping from her straw. Her lazy voice somehow hooked my ears.

“There’s no way modern sex is limited to just forty-eight types~.”

“Ahh, true. If you factor in cosplay and toys, there’s probably at least a thousand.”

Oh no…

Satsuki nodded with a serious face, as if pondering a deep philosophical truth.

“As expected of Shuna-san. Such excellent insight.”

Even Shino agreed without missing a beat.

“So that means… if there are a thousand, then a thousand to the fourth power… that’s a trillion variations in bed…?”

Reine swallowed as the number sank in.

“…If you did it once a day, that would take 2,739,726,027 years.”

“If it’s a hundred times a day, impossible… even a thousand wouldn’t be close enough…! And if you factor in a human lifespan, plus the time off when we’re having kids… then we’d need at least a hundred million times a day to clear it all!?”

Satsuki slammed the table and declared it with a straight face.

Her voice even carried a trace of desperation.

This was getting ridiculous… it actually hurt.

A hundred million times a day? What did that even mean…?

That completely ignored the limits of the human body…

“We can’t waste time here! Let’s hurry home!”

“Yeah~ forget worrying about things getting stale.”

“Perhaps we should also consider withdrawing from school…”

“You’re too slow to decide, Shino. I already plan to hand in my withdrawal papers when we get back.”

With deadly serious faces, the four of them tossed out those insane plans—then skipped out of the family restaurant on suspiciously light feet, as if they were having the time of their lives.

Left behind, I gripped my coffee cup tight and muttered to myself:

“…Am I even gonna survive once I get home?”

Cold sweat trickled down my back, and my heart pounded far too fast.

◇◇◇

I’m a liberal-arts major, so please just enjoy the numbers as a joke…

And finally, the book goes on sale tomorrow! I’d be so happy if you pick up a copy!