Virgin Knight Who Is the Frontier Lord in the Gender Switched World - Chapter 101

The cemetery is not too far away.

Lord Faust and I often walk together along the paved roads built by the local peasants.

The dusk has not yet fallen.

Soon, we approach the cemetery.

The emblem of the Cross and Circle is engraved on a large rock near the entrance.

It is not the Polydoro family’s crest.

It is a crest that the followers of the Cologne Sect are allowed to use.

Essentially, everyone buried in this cemetery is a follower of the Cologne Sect.

That was the purpose of this claim.

…

The tombstones are modest.

Most are made of limestone, seemingly just excavated from the mountains near Polydoro’s lands, barely processed.

I wish we could shape them a little better, but only minimal effort has been made.

There seems to be little attention to decorative motifs.

Most of the graves are like this, but there is one large rock.

A massive rock, difficult to move even if several men rolled it with logs, serves as a gravestone.

It is the grave of Marianne-sama, Lord Faust’s mother.

Despite Lord Faust’s great strength, the size of the tombstone is unbelievable.

“Lord Faust…”

A voice is heard.

It is not my voice.

Next to Marianne-sama’s grave, that deacon was waiting.

“I have been waiting for you.”

“…Why is the deacon here?”

“The Holy Mother said that you would probably come to the cemetery.”

Lord Faust makes a slightly troubled face.

Something presumptuous, he must think.

But he is not one to complain.

“Understood. Let’s go together.”

With a sigh, he accepts the situation as it is and starts walking again.

I can only follow behind him.

“Martina von Bösel…”

The deacon walks beside me.

We do not stop.

“You must understand everything by now. The Holy Mother says to leave everything to Lord Faust. That would normally be correct.”

We walk side by side.

“But given Lord Faust’s current experiences, it would not suffice to explain everything. That’s why the Holy Mother said, ‘You, as a deacon, should tell Martina everything you have seen.'”

Lord Faust looks back at us with a slightly troubled face.

“I’m sorry, but I will talk to Martina properly. I promised her I would tell her everything just now.”

“An objective viewpoint seems necessary. Especially if you are going to share all your feelings, Lord Faust.”

I cannot understand, he seems to say.

But I understand.

Lord Faust will indeed try to tell me everything.

But whether he can convey all he wants to me is another matter.

Given his personality and his mysterious sensibilities, I doubt he can truly express everything.

An objective opinion is indeed necessary.

“I will listen.”

As if to interrupt Lord Faust’s puzzled face, I speak up.

“Then, if I may be so bold…”

The deacon clears her throat and begins to speak quietly.

“According to the Holy Mother, you, Martina, would understand almost everything by now. ‘Just tell her about Lord Faust’s actions and his words.’”

There might be some personal opinion mixed in.

With that preamble, she continues.

“It was the other evening. Lord Faust had been indulging Queen Liesenlotte’s whims and had just returned to his domain.”

The deacon folds her hands in front of her chest, intertwining her fingers.

“Late at night, trying not to let you notice, Lord Faust secretly left the manor, clutching a small cloth bag carefully, and appeared at the church. Then, hesitantly, he started to speak. ‘I’m sorry for the late hour, but I have something to ask the Holy Mother.'”

In a prayer-like manner, the deacon speaks.

“I have something to request now. Previously, I had asked the Holy Mother about confessing on behalf of my mother. At that time, it seemed the Holy Mother already knew my troubles. It all started when I took Martina in.”

The last piece of the puzzle I wanted to know.

“For various reasons, through worldly interests and reason, when Martina wished for death before Queen Liesenlotte, I refused. It was too much for me to accept. I have no regrets about that, but at the same time, as I raised Martina, I thought about it.”

If this mystery could be solved, I thought my heart might find some peace.

“Martina’s mother, Caroline, must have adored her child, didn’t she?”

But what the deacon says next, the words that Lord Faust uttered, are somewhat unexpected.

“Taking Martina in as a knight apprentice and raising her, I realized something. I have a strange memory from my childhood. There were times during meals when my mother would just stare at me eating. I had a similar experience. Before I knew it, I was watching Martina slowly scoop up her soup with a spoon and drink it neatly. Such simple gestures.”

This revelation adds a new layer to understanding Lord Faust’s deep, introspective nature.

What are you talking about?

It is abrupt, and I find it a bit hard to understand.

“When I was a child, I often wondered. Why would my mother watch me, slightly smiling, as I mischievously stirred my soup with a spoon? I always found it mysterious. Why would she smile at such trivial, silly gestures?”

The bad habit with the spoon that I pointed out.

Even that, Lord Faust’s mother, Marianne-sama, watched with a smile.

“Every time Martina catches my gaze and looks back at me with a curious expression, I am reminded of my mother. And then, I understood. I was probably loved by my mother more than anyone else, and so was Martina.”

I am still not quite getting it.

“I wanted to know all about my mother’s love, almost like seeking atonement. It seemed like something I should ponder over my lifetime and find answers to. But I’ve also come to realize what I currently lack. Despite having begged Queen Liesenlotte to spare her life and having taken Martina in as a result, I know nothing about raising her. I know nothing as a parent.”

I cannot understand.

“I researched everything I could about Martina. I begged Duchess Astarte to find out. About the environment surrounding Martina, why Caroline and her associates rebelled, I thought I would eventually learn everything. I realized that the gentle girl, Martina, would be hurt by that reality.”

What I do not understand is not about the love of my mother, Caroline, or Lord Faust’s mother, Marianne-sama.

No, that is different.

Such things, it feels as if all veils have been lifted, and I can painfully understand them now.

The only thing I do not understand is why Lord Faust needs to go to such lengths.

“So I begged the Holy Mother. There is no more time.”

There is no need for him to be so concerned about me.

“I wanted to reveal that confession. There is no time for me to ponder what my mother thought of me, now that I have taken on the responsibility of raising a child. Having saved a life, having taken on that life, I thought I must do everything for Martina.”

Why would anyone go to such lengths for just one knight apprentice?

A rebellious little girl accepts her fate and dies without accepting Lord Faust’s mercy.

The public’s opinion could settle that.

What would be known is only the tale of Lord Faust begging on the floor to save a life, and it wouldn’t even come up in conversation.

But…

“I wanted to protect everything about Martina.”

Lord Faust does as he pleases.

Everyone does.

“I understood my mother Marianne’s heart. I understood why Martina’s mother Caroline did what she did. So, I commit the sin. I implore. Lord Faust said so, taking out a lump of vice from the cloth he was carrying.”

Everyone does as they please.

Without even knowing my feelings.

“You would understand, Martina. It’s a bone. Lord Faust showed me your mother Caroline’s skull and said, ‘I want to mourn her.'”

Such foolishness.

Such stupidity.

A scream rises from my throat.

“Why would you do such a thing!”

Lord Faust is foolish.

I do not know by what means, but Lord Faust managed to get the head of a rebel, exposed in the capital, and brought it into the church of the Cologne Sect.

“Listen to what feelings Lord Faust had when he pleaded for your mother’s forgiveness.”

Lord Faust, upon hearing my voice, frowns sadly.

Ignoring that, as if calm or even coldly, the deacon replied.

“Caroline was a rebel. A sinner. Not someone to be given the ‘Lord’s Prayer’ at burial. Not someone to be buried in a cemetery. Even I thought at the time that I should refuse.”

The deacon’s voice is cold.

“But holding that skull, Lord Faust asked,”

However, it seemed he was holding it with a mix of dampness and warmth.

“Where is the Redeemer?”

Perhaps that’s what the following discussion will encompass.

Reluctantly, I listen attentively.

“We buried the servants and peasants of Caroline that we killed. It was a modest funeral, but death comes equally to all. We have done the same even for bandits, living according to the teachings of the Cologne Sect. But there is one exception. That’s Caroline, Martina’s mother.”

It’s inevitable.

“Martina will cry. She will cry knowing that her mother, who loved her, isn’t even buried in a common graveyard. Indeed, this skeleton was a sinner. A loved one, unrelated people, everyone was dragged down for her own selfishness. She probably fell into hell. But as discussed in this world, is it really right that a parent’s sins should fall upon their child? Should a child be demanded to carry those sins and sufferings for a lifetime?”

That seems to be the natural conclusion.

My mother committed sins.

It would only be natural for her daughter to bear the punishment for those sins as well.

That’s what I think.

But.

“I harbored one uncertainty. As I raised Martina, I realized something. Eventually, Martina will understand that her mother committed evil for her sake. When that happens, someone must tell her that she herself is not to blame. But if her mother is not saved, isn’t that merely deception? That’s what I thought.”

Lord Faust did not think so.

In front of Queen Liesenlotte, he knelt down and begged for mercy.

“When I realized this, I was searching for Caroline’s head. Time had passed, and her head, having served its purpose as a public spectacle, was discarded in the woods. I did everything I could to retrieve it.”

That was my pardon.

So, shouldn’t that be enough?

“This skeleton can no longer repent its sins. It cannot even ask for forgiveness from the Lord. I must admit, that’s just how it is. She who has fallen into hell would surely accept that as natural.”

I want it to stop.

“It’s natural to criticize the dead even after their death. She committed sins. Her head was exposed, stones were thrown, her flesh rotted away, and then thrown to the ground. Considering the innocent people she killed, that’s inevitable.”

I want the excuses for my mother’s sins to stop.

“I won’t say that blaspheming the dead is unforgivable, that would be shortsighted. I understand that it’s inevitable. This skeleton is the result. I fully understand that. Still, still I pray to God.”

No one wants to hear such defenses.

So, please stop.

You don’t really understand.

“Will her sins really never be forgiven? Her daughter, the daughter of this skeleton, is crying. So—so I ask again, where is the Redeemer? I beg for her redemption. There is only one reason: not to burden her daughter any further. I beg for God’s mercy, for Caroline von Bösel to be allowed burial in that graveyard, for God’s forgiveness.”

It’s merely sophistry.

Laugh it off and move on.

Ignoring my feelings, trying to cover everything with rationale.

My face turned to the ground; I didn’t want to see anything anymore.

The unfortunate reality is that everyone makes sacrifices because of me.

But someone grabs me by the collar.

It’s the deacon.

The deacon, with raw anger and none of the composure expected of a clergyman, shouted.

“He knelt before us and begged! Do you understand? Do you understand how Lord Faust agonized before begging us clergy for your mother Caroline’s redemption? I’m asking if you understand that! Look forward!”

Blood rushes to my head.

Do you understand?

What do you understand about me?

“Nobody asked for this! I never asked for it, not once!”

I can’t control my emotions.

I say what should not be said.

“I should have been killed! In front of Queen Liesenlotte, it would have been better if they had just killed me!!”

Tears won’t stop.

When I faced the ground and a tear dropped, I realized it.

I can’t seem to stop crying anymore.

“Everyone does as they please! Everyone decides to fall into hell on their own! Everyone does these things, but I didn’t want to be saved!”

Lord Faust, hearing my cries, looks profoundly pained.

Nobody is at fault.

I—no longer…

“It would have been better if I had been killed!”

I’m utterly disgusted with my own existence.

Lord Faust seems deeply hurt by my words.

That might have been the greatest pain of all.

But the deacon shouts angrily.

“A nine-year-old child, acting as if she’s bearing all sins, don’t get carried away thinking you’re some kind of redeemer! You need to listen to everything until the end, to understand all the love in this world. You must understand that no one truly wishes for your death. If you still want to die, that’s your lifespan! Do as you like!”

The deacon doesn’t let go of my collar.

“Continue. The Holy Mother, as a clergy of the Cologne Sect, answered.”

He’s about to speak of everyone’s sins, all the evil committed.

“Let us forgive the sins this skeleton committed. Let us have mercy on her death so that her daughter will not cry, and allow her burial. If human beings won’t forgive her sins—the Redeemer, the Daughter of God, will atone for it. If there is even one who begs mercy for her death, the Redeemer will ask God for forgiveness in her stead. From now on, the believer Caroline, having been beheaded by believer Faust, is considered penitent.”

The response from the deranged sect of Cologne.

“The burial of believer Caroline von Bösel is permitted. Once spoken, these words cannot be changed by a clergyman.”

The fact that my mother’s excommunication was lifted, and as a believer of the Cologne Sect, she is buried in this graveyard.

“This is the response from the Cologne Sect. I have delivered it clearly. Now go to the grave and listen to what Lord Faust has to say.”

The hand gripping my collar suddenly releases, and I lose all strength.

I can’t even stand anymore with the power left in me.