Surviving in a World Teeming with Monsters with the Useless Skill 【Everyday Items Master】! I Was Just Hunting Wild Animals with a Crowbar, So Why Is Everyone Screaming It's an S-Rank Monster? - 83

Chapter 83: ※Warning: Don’t Try This at Home, Kiddos

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

I lit the lighter and sprayed the spray toward the flame.

【Flame Spray】

A massive blaze roared forth, instantly engulfing the two in front of me.

“Whoa, that’s insane!”

“Gyaaaaaaahhh!” 

“Hot, hotttttt! Ugyahhhhhh!”

The two deranged raiders rolled around on the ground, completely on fire. Then, on a whim, I checked the can and saw it was labeled “Cooling Spray.” I sprayed it on them.

【Ice Spray】

An ultra-cold mist enveloped the fire-covered raiders, extinguishing the flames instantly.

“Hiihh, hiiihh…” 

“Haaah… ah… aahh…”

“I heard cooling spray doesn’t actually lower temperatures in reality, but I guess skills can ignore that sort of thing.”

How handy to have both functions..

I thought as I crouched near the two who had somehow survived, their hair scorched to a crisp.

“Hey. Are you back to your senses yet?”

“Hiih! Wh-Who the hell are you?! How’d you get in here?!”

“P-Please don’t kill us! What do you want?! I’ll do anything—just don’t take my life!”

Looks like they’re sane again.

I thought to myself. Grinning, I then asked them.

“Tell me where your boss, Inago, is.”

When we told them we were going after Inago, the two raiders said this along the way.

“Just so you know, that’s suicide. You don’t understand how strong—and how utterly insane—Inago-san is.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Everyone who ever challenged Inago-san ended up dying horribly. I’m warning you for your own good, you hear me?

“I appreciate it.”

Even though they kept trying to scare me, I didn’t react, so the raiders gave up and stayed quiet after that. Eventually, they led us to the top floor of a department store, which had been completely remodeled.

“Is this some kind of illegal club?”

Even though it was broad daylight, the place was sunk in darkness, with a mirror ball at the center casting rainbow lights to every corner of the room. Heavy bass music thumped through the space, and people were indulging in booze, drugs, sex, and dancing.

“This is chaos… It’s dark, the lights are blinding, and I can’t tell who’s who.”

“Hyah, hyaaah~! T-Tacchan! Tacchan, look! That’s so lewd! Lewd, I tell you!”

“Stop staring. I mean, Ui, I thought you’d be used to this kind of stuff, judging by your outfit.”

“N-Not used to it at all! Ui-chan’s still only twenty, okay?!”

“Twenty, huh…”

So many thoughts swirling in my head just from that one word. Best left unsaid though.

“Inago-san’s in the far back. Well then, we’ll just…”

“Bye then!”

After showing us the way, the two melted into the chaos around them. Maybe to alert Inago to our presence, or maybe they just couldn’t stand being sober here and wanted to get high again.

It didn’t matter to me anymore though. 

“Alright then.”

I rolled my neck and spoke to Ui.

“Ui. Before we start fighting, I need to ask—how do you fight?”

“Huh? Ui-chan usually… Jumps behind the enemy and slits their throat with a knife, or teleports just the knife with magic, I guess?”

“Hmm, got it. So that’s your style. You can teleport things besides yourself?”

“Yup!”

Ui answered energetically. I thought for a moment.

I could move through the air with the umbrella’s 『Close Umbrella』 function, but it was too conspicuous. In contrast, Ui’s teleportation magic was excellent. It wasn’t completely invisible thanks to dimensional distortion, but turning a movement along a line into a movement between points made it a lot less noticeable.

An idea came to me, and I asked Ui.

“Alright then, Ui. Can you teleport me directly above the mirror ball?”

I pointed at the mirror ball hanging from the ceiling, spinning and sparkling in the dark.

“Sure, but isn’t that dangerous~?”

“It’s fine. Even if I fall, I won’t get hurt.”

“Hmmm… Okay! Then—”

Ui held out her palm toward me. A moment later, with a buzzing deep bass sound, spatial distortion surrounded me.

“Be careful! Off you go~!”

The distortion closed, and my vision went dark. When it reopened in a flash, I was standing on top of the mirror ball.

“Whoa. Yeah, this is something you never get used to.”

Muttering that, I quickly clung to the base of the mirror ball and scanned the floor below. From the entrance, it’d be almost impossible to find our target, Inago, in this chaotic mess. But from above, it was a different story.

“There he is. Right at the back.”

Inago. A thick-legged man with a mohawk and bare chest. He was chugging booze in a slightly cleared-out area in the back.

“”“Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!”””

“Glug, glug, glug… pwaah! HYAHAHAHAHA!”

“””WOOOOOOOOHHHH!!”””

Cheered on by the crowd, Inago downed a barrel-sized drink in one go, then tossed the empty container aside. It rolled and bumped into the body of someone lying on the floor. Someone lying there—probably someone he killed. Male or female, it didn’t matter. The corpses were naked, battered, and abandoned.

“Ahhh, I feel fantastic! Hyahahaha!”

“Inago-san, want another?—Gah! Wh-Why?!”

“HYAAHAA!”

Fueled by alcohol and high spirits, Inago kicked a nearby comrade over and stomped on them over and over again. That triggered the surrounding crowd to register the victim as fair game—and they swarmed in, unleashing their chaotic desire to harm.

“S-Stop!” 

“Hahahaha! Die! Hahahaha!” 

“Take this!” 

“Gyaah, h-help me!”

All it took was Inago’s whim, and the others consumed the victim like a swarm of locusts. A frenzied orgy of violence with no regard for life. A living embodiment of locust-borne madness. I drew the umbrella from my pocket and muttered.

“I see. Yeah, this one’s gotta die.”

I leapt from the mirror ball, aiming straight for Inago’s head just as he had lost interest and wandered off.

【Open Umbrella】

The shock from the opening plastic umbrella smashed into Inago’s head, sending him flying. He bounced off the ground dramatically and crashed into the wall.

“Hyah…!?” 

“Eh…?” 

“Wha…?”

I stood atop the blood trail left by Inago and glared down at the other Grasshoppers gathering.

I was often underestimated—but once I drew blood, the perception flipped completely. Complacency turned into wariness, and everyone froze on the spot. That was because everything was hanging in a fragile balance. Just give it a little push and that wariness turned to fear. So I bared my teeth in a savage grin.

“—Yo. I’m here for pest control, you bugs.”

The effect was immediate.

“Uwaaaaahhh!? Inago-san! Inago-san was taken out in one hit!”

The crowd scrambled to flee. Panic spread like wildfire, and a swarm of them rushed to escape the dance floor.

I thought for a second about giving chase—but then decided not to. Mopping up the stragglers was Shachimaru’s specialty, and besides, I realized Inago’s presence wasn’t gone hadn’t vanished yet.

Using teleportation magic, Ui appeared by my side and said.

“Tacchan, you’re amazing~! Everyone just ran out all at once~! What did you do!?”

“I smacked Inago once. I meant to kill him, but it looks like he’s got more guts than I expected.”

“Ehh~?”

I turned my gaze back to where I had blown Inago away, just as Ui did. There he stood, bleeding, yet glaring at me with a face twisted in pure rage.

“THE HELL D’YA THINK YER DOIN’, YOU PIECE OF SHIT, SCREWING WITH ME!? I’LL F***ING KILL YOU, YOU SKINNY LITTLE BASTAAAAAAARD!”

Inago, in the peak of his rage, stomped the ground with a bam! bam! as if to express his fury. Each time, the ground cracked and shattered beneath his feet.

I see. Just as it looks, he’s got serious leg strength.

To that Inago, I said.

“Speak Japanese, you damn raider. Oh, wait, you’re a bug, so I guess that’s asking too much? Sorry, my bad. I shouldn’t expect the impossible from a bug brain like you.”

“DON’T YOU F***ING MOCK MEEEEEEE!”

“Eek~! He’s screaming nonsense, so scary~!”

Ui clung to me in a joking manner. Inago slammed his foot down with such force that he broke right through the dance floor. And then, he said.

“SKINNY BASTARD… I’M GONNA EAT YOUR LIMBS WHILE YOU’RE STILL ALIVE…! THEN I’LL RAPE AND KILL THAT BUNNY GIRL RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU…!”

“Try it, you brain-dead pest.”

I drew my crowbar and rested it slowly on my shoulder.

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー