Chapter 22: The Phantom Thief’s True Identity

“Mama!?”

Sylha’s remark made the air in the living room freeze.

Mama?

What on earth could that mean?

Demonic? As it is? Horse?

“Long time no see, Sylha-chan. Mama, I’ve missed you! And you’ve gotten so much stronger. As expected of my beloved daughter! Mama is so proud!!”

That means exactly “Sylha’s Mama”!!

Phantom Thief Rabbit… or rather, Sylha Mama, tossed aside her baggy robe and ran toward Sylha.

And then, a hug.

“Mama, this is a bit embarrassing…!”

“What are you talking about? This is a heartwarming parent-child reunion! There’s not a single thing to be embarrassed about!”

Liluria and I couldn’t keep up with the situation and were left standing all alone.

So the true identity of Phantom Thief Rabbit was Sylha’s Mama…!

No wonder Sylha—usually so attuned to enemy presences—didn’t notice them approaching while she was asleep.

After all, it wasn’t an enemy.

“Uri-uri. Oh? You’ve grown taller again? You must have taken after Papa, huh? But you’re still so cute! As expected of my child!”

“Oh, enough already! And—wait, Mama was Phantom Thief Rabbit? Was it Mama who stole my Usa-chan when I was five?”

“That’s right!”

Sylha’s Mama readily admitted that she had stolen her beloved daughter’s stuffed animal.

Then she explained her reasoning.

“But you see, I didn’t do it just to be mean to you, Sylha-chan. I wanted to give you the drive to make enemies and then go kill them~! Thanks to that, you’ve become this strong, haven’t you?”

Eh?

So you caused all this commotion for that reason?

It seems Sylha’s Mama has quite a crazy way of thinking.

“N-no way! I was so lonely without Usa-chan!”

“Sorry, okay? But you know, our family is a long line of pugilists, right? There are plenty of people who, out of envy for our strength, would hatch all sorts of mischief. That’s why Mama couldn’t feel at ease if Sylha-chan remained weak.”

What a crazy family line!

No wonder Sylha and her Mama are ridiculously strong!

“But then, why did you send a notice now? I’m already strong enough, you know?”

“No, no. Even if you make a name for yourself at the Adventurers’ Guild, that doesn’t necessarily mean you have strength that holds up in the world. There are plenty of strong people who aren’t members of the guild. That’s why Mama came to give a final check on whether Sylha-chan can make it on her own.”

“…Does Papa know about this too?”

“…That’s a secret, I guess♪”

“I knew it~! If it were Papa, he would definitely put an end to this nuisance!”

I then turned my gaze away from the chattering Sylha parent-child pair and surveyed the miserable state of the living room.

The windows were completely shattered. The floor was riddled with holes. The walls were pockmarked with holes. The table and chairs had vanished. The lights were out.

No matter where you looked, it was a terrible sight.

It was as if a war had broken out right here.

I stepped between Sylha and Sylha Mama and said:

“Both of you, sit in seiza.”

～～～～～～

“Hey, Sylha-chan. Why is this kid angry? Mama is scary.”

“Hmm, I wonder why? I don’t really get it either.”

Startled by my overwhelming demeanor, the Sylha parent and child timidly sat in seiza.

However, they seemed completely oblivious as to why they were made to sit in seiza.

“Sylha, and Sylha’s Mama, when you look around, does anything strike you?”

“Oh, calling me ‘mother’ already is a bit premature, don’t you think? Sure, you’re quite the prodigy—so I can’t entirely rule out Mama as a match for Sylha-chan—but defeating an enraged Papa is nearly impossible, isn’t it?”

Wait, what are you talking about?! Didn’t I say ‘Sylha’s Mama’?

And it seems that in order to marry Sylha, one must defeat her father—who is probably an overwhelmingly powerful fighter.

Sylha, I wonder if you’ll ever find such an exceptional marriage partner?

“Come on, Mama. Nobody mentioned anything like that, did they? …And why are you looking around like that? Hmmm—should we renovate?”

“No way! We just bought this house!”

We’re already strapped for cash, so we have no room to renovate.
After all, is that really what comes to mind when you see this mess?!

Forget Mama—you need to notice this:
the living room looks completely different from usual!
It clearly isn’t the same!

“Ah! Mama, I’ve figured it out, Sylha-chan. This kid definitely wants to become a disciple of our style! She must have become enamored with the strength of you and Sylha-chan.”
“Ah, so that’s it.”
“No way! Why would someone who wants to be a disciple make their master sit in seiza?! It’s the other way around!”

Hah, hah, hah.
These two are hopeless.
They’ve completely lost common sense in exchange for strength.
Wreaking havoc in someone’s house and then wanting to become a disciple—it’s just outrageous!

I’ve given up on expecting an apology.
At the very least, I should charge for the repair costs…
And just then, Liluria arrived carrying a tray.

“Simple tea.”

At this moment!?
No, no, no—we don’t need tea for these two.
They’re completely uninvited enemies.

Especially Sylha’s Mama—what did she do when she came over?
She only managed to destroy the living room!
There’s not a trace of hospitality.

I’m sure if someone like her came to my house, even a refined Kyotoite would bluntly tell her to leave.
It’s commendable that she did some proper maid work for once, but I wish she’d considered the situation a little more.

“Oh, aren’t there any tea sweets?” zuzuu
“Ah, hot tea really is soothing, isn’t it?” zuzuz

The two had already abandoned seiza and were sitting cross-legged in full relaxation.
It seems whatever anger they once had toward me has long since vanished.

So I said firmly to both of them,

“Um, about the repair costs for the living room——”

“Oh, it’s about time we head out. Farewell, my beloved daughter, and to her friends.”
As Sylha’s Mama headed for the entrance, Sylha grabbed her arm to stop her.

“Hey, Mama!? If you run away, who’s going to pay?”
“Sorry, okay? Mama didn’t bring any money. …That’s it! Under my parental authority, I’m giving you Sylha-chan! How’s that? Satisfied now?”
“That’s awful! You’re selling me!?”

Even if I got Sylha, I’d be at a loss for how to handle her.
——Wait a minute?
Wouldn’t I be able to make money hand over fist by putting Sylha to work?

Sylha is ranked ninth in the Adventurers’ Guild.
Her earnings must be substantial.
If even a small percentage of that ended up in my hands, I could become a NEET in no time—!?

“Sylha’s Mama, the contract is settled.”
Sylha’s Mama and I exchanged smiles and shook hands.

“Hey! What about my own will!?”
I ignored the commotion as Sylha began fussing.

“But Sylha-chan, you weren’t entirely against it, were you? You had quite a dreamy look on your face when that kid defended you earlier.”
“Huh!? I-didn’t do anything like that!”
“I know, Sylha-chan. Even though you’ve always lived as a strong person, a boy who comes to protect you when it counts really makes your heart skip a beat, doesn’t he? Mama fell for Papa that way too. Hmm, maybe it’s genetic?”
“Wait, no! It’s not like that! It’s different, I’m telling you!!”

Sylha repeatedly protested in a fluster, but her bright red face made the truth easy to guess.
I’m not exactly oblivious, and I’m quite perceptive when it comes to a girl’s subtleties.
For instance, I can clearly tell that Liluria holds me in high regard as a man.
But right now, more than anything, what matters is whether Sylha will become mine.
That would bring my dream of becoming a NEET ten steps closer.

“Sylha, become mine!”
“W-what are you talking about…? Look, if it’s money you need, I’ll pay for it.”
“I don’t need money. I want you, Sylha… I want you!”
Yes—if Sylha becomes mine, then that money will naturally be mine as well!

“Wha—? Th-th-that’s not possible…”
“Wow, this kid is surprisingly bold. Mama is getting all excited too.”

I’m aware that I’m relatively good-looking.
And from her reactions so far, I can tell that Sylha finds my looks appealing.
So I leaned in close to her ear and whispered,

“Sylha, I want you.”
And help me achieve my dream of becoming a NEET.
I’ve done everything I can.
Now, all that’s left is to wait for Sylha’s response.

So, what will Sylha’s answer be——?

Sylha blushed deeply, looked down, and mumbled,

“………………Yeah……”