After a Heartbreak, My Bitter Childhood Friend is now Sweet Like Sugar - V2 Chapter 7.1 & 7.2

Night Sky After The Rain
Chapter 7.1

I came back to my room and buried my face in my bed, and cried.

I don’t understand. I can’t, why?

What did I do wrong?

I know Yuu!

… I was supposed to be.

He is not very assertive, a little stubborn, but kind at heart. We used to be on bad terms, but lately, he’s been sweet like sugar candy, and I can feel we’ve been getting closer step by step.

So I couldn’t understand why this was happening.

It’s not like he hated me inside. I don’t think he was annoyed by my actions either. The day he saw my diary, I heard him say that he would like to have a relationship with me if we were more than just childhood friends. I wondered if I had been too naive with Yuu’s words at that time.

Was it my fault for having such a lowly feeling?

Merely looking at the situation, it was as if I was taking advantage of his weakness and trying to force myself into his heart.

I couldn’t stop crying for a long time. Eventually, it became too painful to carry this pain alone, so I picked up my smartphone.

I dialed Hotaru-chan’s number and pressed the call button.

Immediately, it connected to Hotaru-chan.

|| “Hello, what’s up, over here?”

“Um, it’s… Uuu…”

I called her as soon as I could, but I didn’t know what to say.

|| “Wha-! Are you crying? I mean, what’s wrong?”

“… Um, do you have a minute? I need to talk to you about something.”

|| “Yes, I do. I was so bored that I’ve been meditating and getting lost in my life. What do you think of my light-hearted music now?”

“Oh, well, it’s okay.”

|| “I’m confident in my work, but…”

Hotaru’s reply made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I guess she was trying to cheer me up when I was crying.

“Thank you…”

|| “No problem. What’s wrong?”

“Well, I just need you to listen to me.”

|| “Yeah.”

I told Hotaru about what happened today. That we went to Reika’s house to visit, and that I was able to make friends with her. I had a feeling that everything was going well.

But then Yuu dumped me a while ago.

|| “Kokocchi, aren’t you being played by Yucchi? In fact, Yucchi is a crazy sadist whose hobby was to give pleasure to others and then drive them to despair.”

“No! Please don’t be rude!”

|| “But, you know, you don’t usually shake things off like this. There wasn’t even the slightest hint of that.”

“That’s true, but Yuu is not like that.”

|| “Really? But you were also dumped because you didn’t understand Yucchi, right?”

“Uuuuuu~!”

|| “I’m sorry, that was not the right thing to say. I was the one who told Kokocchi to be proactive, so I’m responsible for that.”

“That’s not true either! It’s not your fault! You helped me a lot. Even at the time of the school festival, Hotaru-chan saved me.”

I was the one who was in a hurry while she just gave me that push.

It’s true that after I met Reika, I may have been a little too aggressive. It was at that time that I changed my overly cautious attitude, lest I be left behind for not being aggressive enough.

But I didn’t think that was the reason. Even after that, we were acting normal, and if anything, I felt like we were getting closer.

|| “But you know, it’s definitely a lie just because he still can’t forget his senior. If he had dumped you because of that, he would have dumped you a lot sooner.”

“That’s for sure. But he just doesn’t want to tell me why.”

We went through a lot of comparisons. Then I was reminded of her.

It is hard to believe that he would suddenly say that he could not go out with me just because he remembered the time of his senior’s death. In the first place, there was no need for him to tell me that. It’s not like I was pressing him for an answer, so why bother?

|| “If that’s the case, you seem to be saying that it’s not Rei-chin’s fault, but isn’t it still her fault? Because that’s what he told you after you went to visit her, right?”

“I don’t think so. If that were the case, he would have told me without hiding it. The problem is not that he cheated. It is that he doesn’t want to tell me the reason.”

|| “Don’t want to tell you, huh? Why?”

“… Maybe he thinks it will cause me trouble or something.”

|| “What’s that?”

“He wanted to pretend, but if he told me why, he would either hurt me or not convince me. That’s why he told such a transparent lie.”

I’m familiar with Yuu.

I didn’t know why he rejected me, but I could imagine why he lied.

|| “So, what do you want to do from now on?”

“What?”

|| “The end results, isn’t that what’s important? I always listen to what you have to say, but I wonder what you want to do now. Are you going to give up?”

“No way.”

I was surprised at how quickly I was able to respond.

That’s when I finally realized

I realized why I called Hotaru-chan.

What did I want to confirm by talking to her?

“Thank you.”

|| “What’s wrong with you? Did I do something to be thanked?”

“Yes, you did. Thanks to Hotaru-chan, I succeeded in rethinking myself.”

|| “Well, I’m glad I could be of help.”

After that, I talked with her for a while. She told me what she liked about Yuu, what she found annoying about him, and a little bit about me.

“Thank you so much, Hotaru-chan. Now, have a good night.”

I finished my chit-chat, thanked her one last time, and hung up the phone.

I put my phone on the desk and was about to fall into bed, but then I thought better of it and went out onto the balcony.

I thought about how I would feel if Yuu came out of nowhere, but that’s not true. When I was depressed in the past, he had cheered me up in this place. But now, he is not here. The only person who could cheer me up when I was discouraged was myself.

I looked up at the sky, stretched out my hand, and made a gesture as if I were holding a star.

Where and what did I do wrong?

What did I misunderstand about him?

Yes, the first thing I need to do is to understand him. I thought I understood him, but it seems that I didn’t. I’ve been watching him for a long time, but I’ve overlooked his thoughts.

Why did he reject me?

He wouldn’t tell me if I asked him straight out. Besides, this is not something that can just be asked. Maybe. I’m sure. 

I know him. So I can turn him around, but what if he gets frustrated there?

I smacked my cheeks with both hands.

Think, think, think. I must conquer Yuu.

I noticed that there were no more tears in my eyes.

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Chapter 7.2

I saw it again, just like the other day. Everything was dark.

I was in another pitch-black dream.

There was nothing, a suffocating blackness.

At first, I didn’t know what this darkness was, but when I looked closer, the white dirt scattered around, and the suffocating atmosphere made me realize that I was in space.

I couldn’t see up, down, right, or left, and I couldn’t see the path I was supposed to take.

It seems that I have become lost in a dream.

As I was thinking about this, I suddenly saw a white light.

My vision went white out.

Eventually, as the light faded away, I realized that I was in a different place from the universe I was in.

Where am I? Huh, I was seated.

I was on a retro-style train. I was sitting in a box seat made out of wood.

Scene changes in dreams are abrupt! In dreams, the next scene is presented to you as if you were forcibly tied together.

I looked out the window and saw white stars and space. I don’t know much about stars but their shapes were familiar. Deneb, Vega, Altair. It was the Summer Triangle.

The train had stopped so that I could get a good look at the stars, but I couldn’t quite figure out where this train was. However, since I was dreaming, maybe I didn’t need to think about it in detail.

While I chased the stars like this, I suddenly noticed that someone was sitting opposite my seat.

When I turned around, there was a familiar bob-cut female student wearing the same school uniform of Tsukigaoka High School as me.

Familiar. 

Yes, we used to be together every day.

At first, I thought it was the junior who looked a lot like her, but soon I realized I was wrong. Even though it was in a dream, when I saw her in person, the nonchalant aura she wore was different from Reika’s.

“Senpai…?”

“Huh, I can’t believe Yuu-chan is even in my dream. Good evening? Or is it a good morning?”

She was confused as she looked at me.

For a moment, I wondered why she was here, but then I thought and realized that I was in a dream, so it was not surprising that anyone would appear.

“It’s been a while.”

“Yeah? It just happened today. No, I think it was yesterday.”

Apparently, the Senpai in my dream is still seeing me every day.

So, is this a dream set in a time when she was still alive and dating?

“Have you seen me lately, Yuu-chan? It looks like you haven’t seen me lately, with your face. Does that mean that you and I broke up? Maybe I got dumped.”

“No, you didn’t. We didn’t break up either. It’s just…”

I don’t feel comfortable telling her that she was actually dead, even in a dream.

There are many theories, but it is thought that dreams are a byproduct of the brain’s way of organizing memories during sleep. Some say it helps fix memories, while others say it eliminates unwanted memories.

If that’s the case, then the senior in front of me right now is just the residue of my dream, but she was so lively that I couldn’t believe she was just such an illusion.

“Could it be that I’m dead?”

Then, as usual, she said to me as if guessing.

“… Actually, yes. You’re already dead.”

“Ah, whoa, really, I’m dead? That’s quite a shock.”

It’s a pretty weird situation when someone who’s already dead is shocked.

“I see. But that’s the way it is, isn’t it? Then, the Yuu-chan in front of me right now… Ha!”

She seemed surprised.

“Does that mean, Yuu-chan is dead too?”

“I’m not dead.”

“But you’re seeing me, a dead person, right? Are you sure you’re not dead too?”

Now that she mentioned it, it might be right.

Since I am meeting her, is it reasonable to assume that I am also dead?

I can’t remember the cause of my own death, but maybe that’s how dead people are. Maybe I was run over by a truck or something. This train might have been heading for another world.

All right, I’m going to save a fantasy world with my Senpai!

“I want to be a swordsman. Yuu-chan is a little shy, so you’ll be the rear guard.”

“No, no, let me protect you there. I want to be cool.”

“Oh, no. I want to swing a sword. So, which race do you want to be? If I’m going to reincarnate, it would be a shame to be the same human all over again, wouldn’t it?”

“That remark is just like you.”

Even though it was in a dream, it was a very Senpai-like comment. Do you think it’s a shame to be a human again? I’m more than happy to be a human again.

“I got it. I want to be an orc. You know, like a violent pig.”

“Please don’t!”

I couldn’t help but argue with her.

I don’t want her to become an orc. Absolutely not.

“Why?”

“No, because I hate it. It’s not cute.”

“No, it’s cute?”

“It’s not cute.”

“Ehh…”

Apparently, she thinks that creature is cute.

Come to think of it, yes, Senpai was a little off in a few ways. She had a particular sensibility that caused her to call an ugly creature cute.

Anyway, I wonder why I’m having this dream.

I can’t believe I’m dreaming about riding on a space train with my Senpai.

… Hmm?

I feel like I’m remembering something.

“Ah!”

She then shouted as if she had a flash of inspiration.

“Why didn’t I think of it before? I’m meeting the future Yuu now.”

“What?”

“Dreams are mysterious. They don’t have any concept of time, and they can suddenly become the past, the present, or even an unknown future. Oh, maybe I’m not only going to the future, but Yuu-chan is also coming to the past. Ah, I see, so it’s a strange ride.”

As if to convince herself, she nodded in agreement.

After listening to her, I understood what I had almost remembered earlier.

“Yesterday, I had a strange dream. I was on a train in space, and Yuu-chan was there with me. I’m in the future, and I’m talking to the past Yu-chan.”

“It’s like Night on the Galactic Railroad. I like it.”

That’s what she once told me.

Are you saying that’s what this situation is now? No, no way…

“There is no meaning in the images that dreams show.”

“Really? I think that everything in front of me has a meaning. Wouldn’t that be more fun? What I talked with whom, what I ate with whom, what I dreamed about, I think it all has a meaning. Of course, I met you, and you met me.”

“Senpai in my world is dead, and yet?”

“Yes. I’m sure, for Yuu-chan, I am…”

She was about to say something.

That’s when it happened.

My vision turned black, and then it cut off.

The dream scene changes abruptly, leaving our feelings and words behind and ending on its own. 

Then, in a daze, I realized that I was awake.

After all, waking up is always sudden. Encounters, partings. Everything is sudden.

“Why did I have such a dream?”

I noticed that the corners of my eyes and my pillow were wet, and I sighed loudly.

I checked my watch. It was still a little early to wake up, but it was too late to go back to sleep. It was about time for Kokoa to wake up.

She was going to make breakfast today, but since I’m up, I might as well help her prepare breakfast.

And yes, I should wash my face first…

… No, but I can’t. Probably, Kokoa will not come after what I did last night. I don’t think she’ll come to make dinner either.

…

The reason why I rejected her was simple: I didn’t think I was qualified to go out with her.

I still remember my Senpai. When I heard that Reika had collapsed, I was surprised at how impatient I was.

And the fact that I was in such a hurry to move forward.

Lately, somewhere in my mind, there was something that has been nagging at me.

It was the same when I first met Reika when I refused the LINE exchange and ran away. At that time, I didn’t know what those feelings were. It wasn’t guilt towards my Senpai or Kokoa. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to move forward again because of my encounter with Reika, who was very similar to mySenpai.

At every turn, I felt sorry for Kokoa. I felt that I had to move on and that I had to return her feelings. When Reika told me to take her place, I realized what it was.

— I was using Kokoa to forget my Senpai.

I thought it was unfair and rude.

Kokoa is a good girl. She’s kind, beautiful, and honest. Even though I’m a slow learner, I can tell now that she really likes me.

She had always had feelings for me, ever since I was a child. Even if I didn’t realize it, even when I was seeing someone else, it was always there.

I didn’t want to take advantage of her. No, I didn’t want her to associate with me, the person who was using her feelings. I didn’t want to stain her pure heart.

The lesser the wound, the better. There must be many better partners for Kokoa. In the first place, I don’t like myself that much. I don’t think I have the value to be liked that much.

So I rejected her. I knew I had to. 

Before I use any more of her precious time and feelings.

In a sense, being liked by others is frightening. At least, I was not strong enough to feel that way.

… Well, let’s get ready for school.

I washed my face and changed my clothes, and since Kokoa didn’t show up, I made some food. Just in case, for the two of us. Just in case.

Of course, she didn’t show up.

When I ate alone, I felt a little depressed because it reminded me that this house was too big for me to live alone.

Even though I was supposed to be at ease, I felt a chill run through me as if a cold wind was blowing into the hole in my chest.

But it’s not that I want my parents to come back to this house.

“It’s better to be alone. “

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