[Sad News] Living Together with the Unattainable Beauty—Her Overwhelming Affection Is Way Too Calculated - 3

Chapter 3: Living Together Rules That Are Too Much for My Heart

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It was a nightmare. This had to be a long, horrible nightmare.

Thinking that, I climbed out of the unfamiliar bed like a zombie wearing only my underwear on the first morning of our cohabitation. The faint, brisk sound coming from the living room — ton-ton-ton-ton — mercilessly reminded me that this was unquestionably real.

That impossibly beautiful girl, Kanoko Fujigaya, was in the next room… Just that fact made my heart start pounding as if I’d been forced into an early-morning marathon.

I put on whatever clothes I could and trudged into the living room. What I found there was unbelievable — utterly unreal. Fujigaya-san stood in the kitchen making breakfast, wearing a frilly pink apron over a dark-indigo tracksuit. 

Why a tracksuit? 

Even so, she looked perfect. The way it stretched over her chest was nothing short of eye candy. Chop, chop, chop — the knife sounded crisp. The savory aroma of grilled salmon rose from the grill. Morning light streamed through the window, making her glossy black hair glitter; her profile looked like a scene ripped from a shojo manga. She was so dazzling I couldn’t look directly at her lest my retinas would burn.

“Ah, good morning, Miyazuka-kun. Did you sleep well?”

Noticing me, she turned and smiled gently. That smile packed a lethal dose of sweetness and force.

“G-g-good m-m-morning…”

Just that greeting left me a stuttering mess. Embarrassing. I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself.

Fujigaya-san didn’t seem to notice my odd behavior. 

“Food will be ready soon, so go wash your face,” 

She said with that perfect smile. I nodded awkwardly like a broken tin robot and fled to the washroom. Looking at my pathetic face in the mirror, I sighed deeply. A saggy T-shirt, half-pants pilled with fuzz. Slight dark circles under my eyes. My hair had bed-head sculpted into an artistic shape.

How had it come to this? Where had my peaceful solo life gone? I had planned to indulge in late-night anime without anyone watching. I’d ordered an onahole with express shipping yesterday and planned to jerk off nonstop starting today!!!

If a beautiful girl lived under the same roof, when was I supposed to masturbate? 

Is this the end? Does that mean I can’t masturbate anymore? I won’t get to use the onehole I ordered?

I washed my face while frantically trying to think up a perfect plan to masturbate in safety. When I returned to the living room a little less of a wreck, a breakfast that could have been served at a ryokan spread across the table.

Steaming, freshly cooked white rice. Perfectly browned grilled salmon. A fluffy, golden, dashi-rolled omelet. Blanched spinach dressed elegantly in a small bowl. Miso soup with tofu and wakame. Was it okay for my first morning living alone to be this lavish? Until yesterday I’d survived on cereal and milk for breakfast; some days I’d even skipped breakfast entirely.

“That’s amazing… It looks like something out of a restaurant.”

I let the thought slip out, and she blushed.

“Ehehe, really? I hope you like it.”

She said with a delighted smile. That smile had already reduced my life bar to zero. If I had an HP gauge, it would have shattered.

I mumbled a small “itadakimasu” and picked up my chopsticks. It was awkward — unbearably awkward. Even sitting across from her at a table for two, I couldn’t bring myself to look straight ahead, let alone at her face. In the quiet living room without the TV on, only the clatter of our tableware echoed.

It tasted good. It was insanely delicious, but I barely remembered the taste. The only sure thing was that nervousness had clogged my throat. After the meal, when I put my hands together and said “gochisousama deshita,” Fujigaya-san made a new suggestion.

“Hey, Miyazuka-kun. Shouldn’t we set some rules for the future?”

Thus, our impromptu meeting to draft the “Rules for Living Together” was convened.

Rule One: Order for using the bath.

“Miyazuka-kun, you can go first.”

“N-no, not at all — Fujigaya-sama should go first…”

We ended up in a strange back-and-forth of polite refusals. Just the idea of bathing under the same roof as a girl blew my capacity away. Could I use the bath after she did? What about her lingering scent? Was it legal to get into the bathwater left behind? Then again, I’d already bathed yesterday.

In the end, her suggestion prevailed.

“Whoever gets home earlier will bathe first. If we come home at about the same time, we will decide it with rock-paper-scissors.” 

A very democratic rule. So from now on I’d have to face the sacred ritual of janken every day…

Rule Two: Division of household chores.

“Um, I can help with cooking or laundry or something…” 

I ventured timidly. She shook her head with an angelic smile.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll do it, so Miyazuka-kun, don’t worry.”

An angel.. Is she an angel?

But my twisted, miserly brain translated that into:

『You can’t trust a man with zero housework skills! Don’t sully the sacred kitchen, you pathetic whelp!』

Yeah, that made more sense. It fit so well I wore a blank, hollow expression. Still, it felt sinful to let such a perfect person slave away for me; the guilt was almost lethal.

Rule Three: Respect for privacy.

“We won’t enter each other’s rooms without permission.”

Of course that was a given. Me entering her sanctified, sacred room would be a crime punishable by death. But she added.

“Except in emergencies, right? Like if someone’s collapsed from illness — then we can enter. If someone doesn’t get up in the morning, they might have passed out or something.”

Was it just me, or was there a strange implication in that? Her big eyes seemed to sparkle meaningfully.

Every rule we set made me acutely aware of how close she was, and my heart screamed in protest. She, who had always been out of reach, was now inches away. I could hear her breathing. A sweet scent floated over.

The amount of information overloaded my brain; I couldn’t process it. I found myself plastered to the wall in a corner of the living room, a pathetic insect trying to keep any physical distance possible. I aimlessly paced the hallway and the living room, hiding behind half-unpacked boxes.

I knew my antics were crazy; I knew how gross I looked.

Is this the life I’d have to live every day from now on? Would my heart hold up? No — it wouldn’t. Not a chance. 

It would be no surprise if my heart exploded by tomorrow. My peaceful, free life of living alone had, after a single day, transformed into a brutal survival where my HP and MP were constantly being drained.

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