Chapter 83: The Menhera Bomb Disposal Squad

This is weird—I was supposed to be here for curse removal, though…

“Hey? What’s the point of this…?”

“Quiet. Focus.”

“…Yes.”

Even if I’m told to focus, why the heck am I being made to stand on one leg? And with my eyes closed, too.

Whoa, this is surprisingly difficult. I’m nowhere near as steady as when my eyes are open. And above all, it’s really tiring.

I opened my eyes just a crack for a moment to check on Shiro, who was right in front of me. Damn, he wasn’t swaying at all. …Ah.

“Have you already failed? It hasn’t even been three minutes yet.”

“No, I mean, just reaching one minute is impressive enough.”

Without practice, three minutes is absolutely impossible. What’s the point, anyway?

“Then next, we’ll try it on the other leg.”

“Wait, hold on—explain this…”

“It’s balance training. In other words, it’s like a brain workout.”

Yeah, I know that. When you close your eyes, you lose visual input, so your brain has to compensate properly, right? …So?

“I’m not aiming to be an athlete, you know.”

“Are you saying this training is meaningless?”

You totally get it. Like the last session, what does physical ability have to do with curse removal? Even if you concede that some physicality is necessary, that’s on the curse remover’s side, isn’t it? Frankly, a bedridden old man would be perfectly fine as a client, wouldn’t he?

“It might be necessary for overall health, but for curse removal…”

“Weren’t you supposed to trust me?”

Ah, crap.

“When you go to the dentist, they make you rinse first, right? And at that moment, do you ever think, ‘I already brushed at home—do I really need this?’ Or at a cooking class, do you question, ‘What’s the point of all this prep work?’ You don’t, do you? Because you’re just an amateur. When a pro tells you something, you just follow along, right?”

There it is—the menhera move. Not only does outright defiance flare up, but even the slightest question triggers it, huh? If I were given a compelling enough reason, I wouldn’t complain either. But something like that sauna session and waterfall ordeal from last time? No thanks.

“I mean, not so much the meaning as the reason…”

“Is there any point in explaining? It just shows you don’t trust me—especially when I’m supposed to be an elite curse remover…”

There’s no question you’re an elite athlete, but as an elite curse remover, your prowess isn’t exactly evident. And even if you trust someone, you’d still expect an explanation, right? Even professional surgeries include pre-op briefings to confirm the patient’s consent.

“Normally, you’d be doing this on a balance beam, you know? But I took it easy on you because it’s dangerous… And to call a considerate, good woman a con artist…”

Hmm, that’s odd. I’m pretty sure I’ve never called you a con artist—aren’t you just being paranoid? You’re really not under the curse’s influence, are you?

“Alright, that’s enough. I’m going to tie your hands, put on a blindfold, and have you stand on one leg on a balance beam.”

How did you come to that conclusion? Even if you’re lucky, you’ll crash into the ground and get seriously injured—and if you’re unlucky, you could lose your reproductive functions.

“Calm down! I trust Shiro!”

“To flip your stance at the moment danger approaches? What a wimpy man.”

Shut up, or I’m going to end up even more wimpy.

Knowing the reason is more encouraging, and aside from that, you’re simply curious, right? After all, even in studying, memorizing by rote without understanding hardly works, does it?

“Hmm? With those words, weren’t you actually doubting me—thinking I was making you do something meaningless?”

That may be true, but come on! It’s because the moment we got home you had me do this nonsensical training without any explanation. And last time, you put me through such grueling training that I nearly collapsed—of course I’d want to resist, right?

There’s no way I’d ever doubt Shiro.

“After this, there’s our customary sauna time.”

……………….

“Ah, please take care of it.”

“Last time, since it was your first time, I wrapped a towel—but this time, there isn’t one.”

…Does that even improve the efficiency of the training? In the first place, sauna play and curse removal have absolutely nothing to do with each other, right? You’re just driven by lust, aren’t you?

“Oh dear, so you’re still doubting me. If I were hired on a whim by the next head of the Seika family, your life would be over…”

“I’m not doubting you! Um, I’m just nervous! Just nervous!”

The Seika family is terrifying—after all, even the police wouldn’t dare lay a hand on them. If you make an enemy of them, the entire Sakamoto clan—every last member—would be wiped out.

“What do you mean by ‘nervous’?”

“What do you mean, though…? You know I’m doing sauna with Shiro, right? Do you honestly think a straight guy can keep his cool? Especially a pubescent boy? I’m practically standing at attention!”

I must be telling the truth. Sure, my build might be lacking, but since I’ve got a good face, I should appeal to most women. Unless a guy’s exceptionally unlucky with women, a little nervousness is only natural.

“Anyway, if it were any girl, it’d be fine, right? Unless she’s a total slob—if she’s young and of average looks, you can score, can’t you?”

This chick’s got an unnervingly high standard for men. Really, it’s rare for a guy to only go for a knockout. Plenty of girls insist on an ultra-handsome type, but even an average-looking guy can get them going. But wait—weren’t we talking about training, not about hooking up?

“Even if you had to choose between a national idol and you, I’d pick you without hesitation! If you want me to trust you, then first trust me! Believe in your own charm!”

I grabbed her shoulders with just enough force not to hurt her and announced it in a loud voice. I didn’t truly mean those words, but when she gets up close with that forceful body contact, I can just bulldoze my way through.

Honestly, I’m the worst—even by my own standards!

“Aren’t you an idiot? Even if you spout all that nonsense, I already know I’m number one in the world.”

She said that boldly, though her cheeks flushed slightly as she averted her eyes. That’s a clear sign my brute force is having its effect.

“Then believe that I’m serious too! I want to get all sweaty with you, tangled up together—without anyone interrupting! For as long as time and our bodies allow!”

“You incorrigible perverted monkey. And we’re supposed to be training for curse removal!”

…Training? Is she trying to turn me into a curse remover…? No, let’s put that aside for now. Even if I’m gathering information, I have to start by keeping her in a good mood.

“I might have asked you for this, but curse removal comes second! I want to spend time with you regardless of any curse! I want to feel your warmth!”

Ah, that line coming straight from my brain is so disgustingly gross I almost want to disown it. What level of handsome would be allowed to say something like that?

…

Wha—what’s this? She’s silently extending her hand. What does that mean? It doesn’t look like a handshake. Her hand’s turned with the back facing up—she’s not signaling for a slap, is she? Um, is it like a butler- or prince-style cue to escort her? No, it looks like she’s spreading her fingers wide.

“Learn it by feel. Memorize the diameter of my finger.”

Um, is this training too? Like how a martial artist sizes up an opponent’s height and limb lengths—am I supposed to develop a sense for human proportions?

“It doesn’t matter whether it’s too loose or too tight. If you prepare it out of love for me, that alone makes it valuable. So I’m not telling you the size.”

…I have absolutely no idea where this conversation is heading, but since it’s about engagement rings, I kind of get it. Um… ah, I see.

Yeah, yeah, it’s the same old pattern. It’s as if I’ve proposed, isn’t it? Since I wooed you, you’re expected to take responsibility, right? I’m so tired of this routine.

If I don’t clear up this misunderstanding, things will get messy—and if I do, there’ll be a huge fuss. Or is it even a misunderstanding? Maybe you’re just trying to force it all. Now that I think about it, all the other yanderes have their moments like this, too.

“I’m not really cut out for that sort of thing, but I’ll do my best.”

I’ll deliberately not deny it. After all, Shiro never mentioned an engagement ring. I’ll just insist it was a friendship pinky ring. It doesn’t exactly seem like something meant for a man and a woman to wear—but hey, that’s diversity for you.

“Don’t get your hopes up—I’m waiting. Now, let’s resume the training.”

“Ah, please take care of it.”

Phew… I managed to get through that once again. I diffused the menhera moment… No! In the end, I still haven’t gotten to the point of the training! Did Shiro manage it instead of me…? Did I just end up making an unnecessary promise…? Or was I simply forced to spout that teeth-chattering line…?

I’ve been taken down from the very start, but can I really make it to curse removal? Have I, with my own hands, just dug my own grave…?