Chapter 82: Menhera Master

I’m already at my mental limit. In fact, it’s a wonder I’ve managed to endure this far.

Back when I was dating Kurokawa-senpai, those guys were reasonably mature. But now, it feels as if the curse has worsened—almost like a rebound. No, it can’t just be in my head. I didn’t notice at first because it was already awful, but if I think about it calmly, it must be worse than it was before the dates.

We defecated while piled on top of each other in a multipurpose restroom. We indulged in shaving fetish play and took photos almost every day. We exchanged French kisses while holding honey in our mouths. And then there was that fountain incident—defecating, performing a dogeza, and a failed suicide attempt.

Yesterday was no picnic either. Things fell apart when Ryu-san nearly died; if she hadn’t collapsed, it might have gone on all night.

Not only did the bizarre activities escalate, but the number of both victims and perpetrators suddenly multiplied. Even the drugstore clerk I exchanged a few words with, the board game club president I once hung out with, and the school nurse—suddenly, they’ve all become members of my harem. And this, despite the fact that many women go out of their way to avoid me.

If I don’t get this curse lifted as soon as possible, my life is doomed in the near future. Right now, I’m barely holding on by repeatedly hitting the pause button at the last moment, but soon I’ll have no choice but to throw in the towel.

“Hey, do you know what ‘apo’ means? It’s not an apple, you know—it’s short for appointment.”

In my desperation, I clung to Shiro, the curse remover. She’s my last ray of hope. I know it might sound outrageous to call clinging to someone from the influential Holy Clan in my hometown “a thread of hope,” but right now, I have no other merits except for power and brawn.

She grumbles in a sulky tone at my sudden visit, but I can tell—she’s sporting a face that shows she’s happy to be relied on.

“You got my message last night, didn’t you?”

I’ll let it slide that she hesitated for about two hours. If she gets upset, she’ll just hit me with impossible demands.

“Curse removal is months away. You have to pay a huge sum upfront—something a weak man like you could never muster—and the schedule is set entirely by my convenience. To think you managed to get an appointment with me the night before… phew, you’ve really taken me for granted.”

Were they really that incredible a clan? I always assumed they were just a troublesome, nouveau riche family who got rich back in the day—before regulations caught up—and have clung to power ever since…

But then again, if shamans get commissioned by the government, it’s not unthinkable that curse removers are valued just as highly, right?

“I believed that if it was Shiro, you’d surely lend me your strength.”

For now, I’ll just grovel a bit. With no money or connections, all I can do is massage her hands until my fingerprints wear away. Besides, for someone like me who doesn’t use fingerprint authentication on his smartphone, it’s not exactly a big loss.

“You believed that? Hmph! Who’s to say?”

White dismisses my words with an overblown reaction. If you only saw this scene, you might think, “I’m sick of all your groveling! Everyone’s so busy reading everyone’s expressions that they’re nearly distrustful of humanity!” But I’m sure that’s not it.

“What does ‘believe’ mean? Is it some kind of religious term? Anyone can say it—whether their IQ is below average or they’re a despicable, nauseating monster. It’s such a simple phrase that even someone with poor diction can manage it.”

Yeah… She’s after that. She finds absolute bliss in being trusted and craves that kind of affirmation.

“My curse is no trivial matter that can be dismissed as mere misfortune. I can only consult with someone I trust deeply.”

No, it’s simply that only she knows my situation. If I had any other curse removers I knew, I’d be turning to them instead.

“I know you trust in my skills. I’m the elite among elites, after all—it’s only natural. Even a simpleton who throws money into a lottery with low odds can appreciate my greatness.”

I don’t think there are many cases where a self-proclaimed elite actually turns out to be elite. Besides, I don’t know any other curse removers to compare with anyway.

“Ah, if I’m going to entrust my life, it’s gotta be Shiro. No matter how I think about it, no other option comes to mind.”

“I told you, I know that already!”

She looks absolutely thrilled. Contrary to her words, she’s overjoyed. If she had a tail, it would be wagging so furiously you could see an afterimage. She looks that pleased—like someone stifling a laugh on a train.

“You’re blaming me for that foolish act of booking an appointment with me—the great curse remover—on the night before. I never said you placed your complete trust in me, obviously.”

You sure talk big for someone sounding that happy.

“I should’ve asked about your schedule first. My bad.”

“Damn right. I had to go out of my way to rearrange my plans just for you, you know? Normally, that would be unthinkable.”

Liar. You don’t even have friends to hang out with. I bet you barely get any requests either.

“I really appreciate it. Thank you.”

Without missing a beat, I wrap both of my hands around hers. It’s a cheap hostess move—one I’m well aware makes me a scumbag. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Besides…

“O-Of course! It’s only natural!”

See? She’s happy. So it’s fine, right? I mean, even old dudes who get milked dry by hostesses still get some happiness out of it. Even if they’re trashed behind their backs, as long as they’re blissfully unaware, it doesn’t matter.

“Shiro… lend me your strength.”

“Hmph! You probably just see me as a convenient woman, don’t you? I know all about your little after-school date with Hiiragi.”

She’s not even part of the yandere squad, yet she’s somehow this informed. Well, we did get a lot of attention from the other students, so I guess it’s not surprising.

“That was… to suppress the curse.”

“You don’t just see me as a handy little tool? Someone to cover up your messes when things go south and a last-resort shrine when the curse gets out of control?”

I hate to admit it, but yeah. You’re either there for damage control or, well…

“I’m sorry! I know I’ve been relying on you too much! I promise I’ll make it up to you someday! Here, I swear it!”

Dodging the question, I pull her into a tight hug. Yeah, just gonna brute-force my way through this one.

Seriously though, what am I even doing in front of a convenience store? And why does she always make me meet here? At this rate, she’s gonna turn into some urban legend—like the woman in red who appears at Umeda’s Fountain Plaza.

“That’s such a textbook move from a scumbag. So cliché… …ehehe, ehehehe.”

I can’t see her face, but she’s totally grinning. At least try a little harder to hide it.

“If I can just get rid of this curse, I can see you properly. Please… help me.”

“…………Fine. I’ll let you pay me back after you make something of yourself.”

“I owe you big time! Thank you! Seriously, thank you!”

I run my fingers through her hair despite feeling a bit salty about having to pay at all. No idea how much she’s charging, but if it’s an amount a “weak man” like me couldn’t possibly afford, then, well… yeah, I’m probably screwed.

And for the record, people who say they’ll “pay after they succeed” are the ones who never make it.

“…Hey, Sakamoto.”

“Hm? What’s up?”

“You’re not thinking that once the curse is gone, you’ll have no more use for me… are you?”

……………… This conversation just took a sharp turn into menhera territory. I can practically smell the emotional instability. It’s a strong, potent fragrance. And it’s exactly this kind of thing that makes me want to keep my distance.

“……………… Human relationships aren’t just about profit and loss, you know?”

“Sakamoto, let me teach you something useful, okay?”

Oh great. A lecture on how to handle unstable women?

“People who avoid answering ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to a simple question? They’re hiding something.”

Unexpectedly, that’s… actually really insightful. Damn, she really is from a family of exorcists. That kind of upbringing must’ve given her some weird wisdom. It hits way too close to home.

“It’s bad to only think in terms of gains and losses, but… in the end, you still wouldn’t keep me around otherwise, right?”

Yeah, it’s exactly that. No point denying it. I just tried to dodge giving a straight-up “no.”

“So I was right…”

“N-No, that’s not—”

“What’s not!? You only see me as a convenient woman, don’t you!? Just keeping me on the side for when you get bored of the others, right!? I’m just a backup option, aren’t I!?”

I can’t deny the first part, but the second half is total nonsense. Does she actually think I’m some harem-loving playboy? Like, as long as they’re not yanderes, I’m totally fine with having a harem?

…Well, yeah, I do want to be popular, but still.

“You’ve got it all wrong!”

“Oh really!? You get a stiff one just from seeing another girl naked!”

Hey, don’t say stuff like that out loud in public! That definitely carried all the way into the convenience store. I’m shocked no one’s called the cops yet.

…Guess I don’t have a choice.

“Shiro, listen to me.”

“What? Gonna tell me I’m too muscular and bad to hug?”

Wow. The sheer number of accusations she can fire off in rapid succession is insane.

“I’ll confess… Sometimes, I… use your album to, uh… relieve myself.”

I am the worst. That’s the kind of admission that would kill any romance instantly. Normally, this is where she’d slap me, cut ties, or—if I’m really unlucky—sue me for sexual harassment.

But instead…

“……Follow me. We’re going to my house.”

For her, that was a critical hit.

Ugh… why am I only getting better at using these kinds of underhanded tricks? If I were a good-looking guy, maybe I could be a host or something.

…Nah, that’s overthinking it. And pretty rude, actually.

Alright, enough self-loathing. Time to focus on breaking this curse. She’s probably gonna make me do some crazy training, but if it leads to a better future, I’ll endure it.