Chapter 74: The Brat

“…Take it easy. Alright, I’m off now… go take a shower or something.”

…I’m feeling a mix of happiness and sadness—a complicated state of mind. I’m glad we managed to dodge a police scandal, but it stings being seen as someone you shouldn’t get involved with. Not getting grilled in a situation like this is really something, isn’t it? Well, sure—if the Hijiri family is backing you, I get why you wouldn’t want to get mixed up. But that’s not all, right? I’m being avoided too, aren’t I?

Of course, that’s to be expected, yet the onlookers are in an uproar. Whether they think I’m Yak-san’s son or some lunatic who’s always in trouble with the police, it’s all just infuriating.

“S-sakka-chan… You’re unbelievable! Seriously, you’re amazing! To send the cops packing like that—you’re not normal!”

“No, it’s not me—it’s you guys who aren’t normal. You’re avoided because you fraternize with unstable people. Sure, I might also be judged as abnormal, but deep down you should realize I’m the victim here. I really hope you do.”

“I knew it! You’re absolutely crazy!”

“You’re mistaken… I’m normal… at least I’m normal enough to stop a woman from trying to drown herself…”

“I see… so that’s how you’re turning the president into a bitch…”

“No, that’s not it… That person was a bitch from the start… I’m not involved in any of that!”

“You’re the best boyfriend… I actually ended up marrying such an amazing man… I’m so lucky!”

“Has it really come to that already? Damn it—because of that glasses-wearing kid, my reputation and even my stink have been ruined. What am I supposed to do now…?”

“S-so, why don’t we change clothes for now? My feet are soaking, and you’ve hardly got any dry spots left.”

“I’ve been wondering for a while—aren’t you disgusted? Aren’t you embarrassed to have your own excrement seen by others? Aren’t you ashamed of spreading your stench around? At the very least, when you’re chanting those sutras, don’t you already have plenty to fear?”

“Alright, alright! Yeah, that’s it! I can’t let my precious club member and boyfriend catch a cold, can I? Not to mention, I’ve made up my mind too!”

“…Huh?”

“Come to my place right now! Consider it a greeting, too!”

“I don’t like that… Going on a date with a woman is dangerous enough, and then having her come to your house to meet your parents? That’s way too risky. Besides, you wouldn’t want to introduce a guy covered in shit and piss either.”

“Don’t worry. My dad’s not around right now, so I’ll just be introducing you to my mom.”

“…Meeting the old man is dangerous, isn’t it? Once you’ve greeted your old lady, you’ll eventually have to face your old man too, right? I really hate that kind of hassle—can I just get out of here now?”

“I want you to greet them, then smoothly end up staying over, and from there work out the wedding arrangements… uhehehe…”

You’re completely lost in your own world, planning so far ahead. Your scheme to fill in the outer defenses is drawn out in ridiculously high resolution.

…Alright, desperate times call for desperate measures.

“Ryu-san!”
“Now, let’s finalize the betrothal arrangements… Huh? What’s up, Saka-chan? You didn’t bring a gift or anything…”
“My place! Won’t you come to my place!? My parents aren’t here, so how about it!”
“…S-so, does that mean… that… that’s what this is all about?”
“…Yes! That’s exactly it!”
“Ah, oh my gosh… we’re really climbing the adult staircase…”

Alright, for now I’ve managed to dodge the introductions. All that’s left is avoiding Kaede and the others, but frankly, I have no plan for that. But what can I do? If I don’t get through this phase, the next phase won’t even exist.

It should be fine, right? After all, these two are under the curse. People afflicted by the curse tend to have higher affinity for each other—you know? They’ve even accepted Shiro, who isn’t cursed at all. In a way, these yanderes—despite their over-the-top sutra chanting and eccentric behavior—are still rational. The only time they’ve really suffered irrational violence was at the hands of some yakuza, I suppose.

Speaking of which, what’s happened with that yakuza office? I don’t know which faction they’re from, but won’t they eventually retaliate? And during that stampede, Kaede mentioned my name, didn’t she? What if I get kidnapped…? I suppose some mysterious savior with an uncanny sense of smell will show up before things get too dire, but still—fear is fear.

That makes lifting the curse another can of worms. After all, when they’re not cursed, those guys wouldn’t stand a chance against the yakuza, would they? It sounds weird to say that being a yandere gives you an edge, but…

Anyway, I’ll forget about that for now. Resolving this matter comes first.

“Y-You’re gonna put on a condom, right? You got one, right? I mean… are we really going to do that now? It’s still a bit too soon… I mean…”

At this rate, even if I run into Kaede and the others, maybe it won’t be so bad? They might judge me harmless and just ignore me… No, I better not get my hopes up. I really hope I don’t bump into them…

“Umm, well, indeed, the person I got the message from is a girl—a childhood friend.”
“Sure is.”
“And, um… she’s definitely at home.”
“Sure is.”

…Her calmness is almost frightening. It’s better than losing it, but still.

“So, my suggestion to call it quits has nothing to do with that, right…?”
“Hey, don’t try bluffing with me.”

What the—?! With a voice as deep as a club’s strike, this person grabs me by the collar…
I know the curse prevents him from actually hitting me, but still—scary is scary.

“No, I’m telling you, it’s really different. It’s her—her change of clothes…”
“If I’m the one going, that’s fine, isn’t it?”

Ryu-san shoots a sidelong glance at the glasses-wearing kid. He’s probably urging me to head home.

“Understood… Sakamoto-san is the club president’s man, after all… I’ll go home alone, dripping filth all the while.”

Surprisingly, she doesn’t seem to resist. Is her bond with the president stronger than the curse’s effect? True to her word, she shuffles off, dripping all the way.
Hmm, maybe the situation’s improved just a bit? Since it’s certain Ryu-san will show up, having one less person here isn’t too bad.

“Well then… Saka-chan, it’s okay for you to head home now, right?”
“Yeah… not that I don’t want you to come along or anything.”

No—I’d grovel a thousand times to keep you from coming.

“And, um… it’s not like I’m going to get with my childhood friend or anything… so please, let’s avoid any fights…”
“Hmm.”

Hmm, “hmm?” Not ideal, but maybe not the worst reaction? The calm before the storm? Or is it a powder keg waiting to blow?

“So, that means she’s just a childhood friend, right?”
“Umm…?”
“That guy’s just for fun, and I’m the real deal, right?”

…………I break out in a cold sweat.

“Um, but, you know… she isn’t really my girlfriend…”
“…Huh?”

It’s terrifying… terrifying, but I have to explain that the proposal was just a misunderstanding…

“Look, it’s not that Ryu-san and I are… well…”
“But you did propose, didn’t you? You did try to seduce me, didn’t you?”
“That was just Ryu-san jumping to conclusions…”
“…”

Did I just step on a landmine? I thought now was the time to settle this once and for all—but have I rushed it? No matter when I deal with it, it’s bound to be a mess.

“Ryu-san was crying with joy, so I couldn’t correct it… It wasn’t really a proposal…”
“…”

So, did I mess up? I ended up putting the blame on Ryu-san. That was a mistake, wasn’t it? Well, I honestly think Ryu-san is at fault…

“Sure, my words were complicated, to say the least…”
“…”
“I truly apologize for giving the wrong impression…”
“…”

He’s been silent the whole time! Eh, is it okay to continue talking? Is his silence saying, “Go ahead,” or is it more like, “I’ll listen to your dying words”?

Ah—I’m starting to tremble. This is just the initial shudder; the main quake is coming soon… What do I do? Should I end it before I completely lose my breath…?

“Uweeeee!”

Wha—what?! The ultimate, genuine cry has started! I mean, he was crying earlier too, but this is on a whole other level. It’s like… that feeling you get right before a kid bursts into full-blown tears.

“This is cruel! You said you loved me!”

I never said that, I never did.
Whoa—he’s stomping his feet! A grown person, finished with compulsory education, stomping his feet!

“I’ve been deceived! It’s marriage fraud! It’s sexual exploitation—and bleeegh!”

Even though he’s bawling like a toddler, the words he uses are completely adult. And he’s not even sexually exploiting me—if anything, that plan never got off the ground.

“Japan’s future is so bleak! Waaah!”

Don’t tie personal disputes to the fate of the nation. From the government’s point of view, this is something that should be settled between individuals. And please, stop swinging that bench around. I’m no Shiro, but where on that frail body does he get that kind of power…?

“P-please, don’t cry! And please, don’t rampage!”
“Hug me! Give me a cuddle!”
“Okay, there, there!”
“Pat, pat, cuddle!”
“Alright, alright, alright!”

To all the passersby—I’m truly sorry. I apologize for the spectacle of chanting sutras while soiling myself, for the bench being flung around as I sob uncontrollably, and for all the other outrageous behavior.

In the end, I ended up having to soothe Ryu-san for nearly an hour afterward. And needless to say, during that time, Kaede bombarded me with frantic calls.

I don’t know about Japan’s future, but my future is undoubtedly bleak. In fact, it’s dark in real time—every moment, near and far, is pitch black. It feels like I’m stuck in perpetual midnight.