Chapter 68: The Shady Business Meeting

The discussion on tax evasion finally wrapped up, and now the meeting about actual money-making schemes began.

Please, I’m begging you—just go home already. Stop holding these meetings at my place. And while we’re at it, stop preparing documents here too.

“Wouldn’t sugar daddies be the best option?”

When Momiji said that, it didn’t even sound like a joke anymore. Sorry for the bias against gyaru, but still.

“I don’t care if Kumanokyo-san does it, but I’m not interested. There’s no way I’d let any filthy male other than Kogoro-chan touch me.”

“Yeah, I’m against it too. And don’t even think about getting near Kogoro after doing that, okay?”

Just don’t do sugar daddies at all. The way you’re talking makes it sound like it’d be fine if I weren’t here.

“But we’ve already been seen, y’know? By the teachers.”

Quit acting like the victims. It’s not like they wanted to see anything. I mean, sure, if they had the chance, they’d probably take a peek, but this was an accident. They rushed to the infirmary because something weird was happening, and it turned out to be way weirder than they expected.

“That’s true. More than enough to blackmail them.”

No, it’s not. That’s called an acquittal. Sure, stuff like this happens all the time in this country, but that doesn’t mean you should get involved in it.

“Would our testimonies even be enough to use as leverage? Oh, wait, with the school nurse, that makes five of us.”

You can count the school nurse all you want, just don’t drag me into this. No way in hell am I becoming an accomplice in extortion.

“The teachers already got their mouths shut about it, so let’s not push it, okay? Wouldn’t be fair to Sei either. She’s our friend, so we gotta follow the code.”

Momiji of all people is against it? I don’t know why she’s getting along so well with Shiro lately, but I guess I can just watch over it with a warm heart… even if their friendship is based on a curse.

“Then what do we do? Just so you know, I can’t even hold hands with anyone but Kogoro-chan. Ugh, just thinking about it makes me feel like I’ll become infertile.”

You’ve got some incredible biology going on there.

“Selling used underwear would be the least damaging option, but I’d rather not. Though, I’d give as many as Kogoro wants…”

Kaede casually reached for the waistband of her panties.

Are you the embodiment of lust and impulse or what?

“Stop casually trying to strip.”

“Oh, right! Kogoro should be the one to take them off for me.”

I feel like I’m going to have to say the same thing at least a few hundred times, but seriously, what kind of brain wiring do you have? How does “Don’t strip” turn into “Let him strip you”?

“Hiiragi-san, let’s save that for later.”

Not later. How about never?

“Ehh? But Sumire-chan, don’t you want Kogoro to undress you too?”

“If anything, I’d rather undress him. He won’t wear diapers for me anymore.”

Which of these options is the lesser evil? Not that it matters, since I’m probably going to end up dealing with both anyway.

“Alright then, I’ll have Kogoro undress me, Momiji can undress Kogoro, and Sumire-chan can put a diaper on him.”

What kind of assembly line operation is this? My workload’s ridiculous. This is the kind of job where people would complain at drinking parties, “That guy’s getting paid way more than us!”

“We need money to make this a daily routine. Now, let’s get serious about this discussion.”

Motives and Methods Are Both Impure, So Stop Acting Like This Is a School Festival Planning Meeting. This Isn’t Youth. It’s Lust.

“So my idea’s a no-go? I mean, the world’s full of perverts who’d pay good money just to get kicked in the balls. That’s not too bad, right?”

Does that even count as sugar daddy work? Whatever it is, just drop it. I know it’s weird for me to be the one shutting this down since I’m not even your boyfriend or anything, but since this all somehow revolves around me, I think I have the right to put a stop to it.

“Hmm… I don’t want anyone but Kogoro getting turned on by me.”

“Forget about how this affects us. The real problem is making money through sex. That’s what needs to stop. You’re completely indecent. Frankly, you’re filthy.”

Considering we’re already discussing shady businesses and money laundering, none of you have the moral high ground here. If anything, sugar baby girls are probably less sketchy than this conversation.

“Can you not pick fights every time you talk? It really shows your upbringing.”

“Oh? Says the same Kumanokyo-san who flaunts her cleavage in class—”

“—is what someone might say, so maybe you should watch your words, Miss Class Rep? That was all one sentence, by the way. Are we clear?”

This is a meeting about criminal activity—can we not mix it with that special brand of passive-aggressive girl drama? It’s a double whammy. Save it for your girls-only gatherings.

“…Anyway, selling our bodies is a no-go. You shouldn’t let anyone but Kogoro-chan touch you.”

“I know that. It’s just that I couldn’t think of any money-making ideas that don’t involve bank accounts.”

Why is sugar daddies the first thing you all jump to? I mean, sure, it’s probably better if they don’t come up with anything else, but still.

“Then how about causing ‘accidental’ deaths for the elderly?”

Kaede…? Did I hear that right?

“What do you mean? Don’t tell me you’re thinking about life insurance scams…”

“No, no, nothing like that. But, y’know, there are plenty of families struggling with elderly relatives they don’t want anymore. Caregiver fatigue and all that.”

That’s not how you talk about people. Do you think slapping some polite language on top of it makes it okay? There’s a limit.

“I bet a lot of people want to speed up the process. An accident service for unwanted seniors would probably be a hit. The inheritance payout would cover the fees, so no problem there either.”

That’s not an accident. That’s murder. Also, why are you planning this from the client’s perspective? That’s terrifying. You’re a textbook psychopath.

“Mochi would probably be the best option, right?”

Do not come up with the optimal solution to the worst suggestion imaginable.

“Could we manufacture mochi specifically for choking? I bet there’d be a market for it.”

Mochi for choking. If that sells well, this country is finished. We should just let civilization collapse.

“Some families might not want them dying at home, either. Maybe we could team up with people looking to create ‘accident properties’ for cheap real estate deals?”

That’s the worst collaboration I can think of. Also, who the hell wants to create accident properties on purpose?

“Y-You guys… What do you think human life is…?”

“If the life isn’t wanted, does it really matter?”

Kaede… Please, just go back to the old you. You weren’t the kind of person who said this kind of thing, even as a joke. Or is this your true nature? I want to blame the curse for this. I don’t want to hear the phrase ‘unwanted life’ come out of your mouth.

Look, I get it. I don’t believe all lives have equal value either. But that doesn’t mean you can just decide who gets to die. And why is this even on the table this early in the brainstorming session? You’re all going way too hard right out of the gate.

“Speaking of unwanted lives, what if we offered revenge services against sex offenders?”

“A revenge agency? That sounds fun.”

Why does every idea revolve around ending lives? Just leave that kind of thing to the legal system. Also, you do realize you guys have committed sex crimes too, right? Just because your targets were men doesn’t mean you get a free pass.

“Hmm… Wouldn’t the cops snitch on us? The kind of people who’d request this service are probably too cowardly to take action themselves. The moment things get real, they’d chicken out.”

Why do you have such keen insight into the psychology of potential clients? How about sparing some of that empathy for me? Try walking at my pace for once.

“Our job would just be neutralizing sex offenders. We’d have the client castrate them personally, record it, and then there’d be no way for them to snitch.”

Wait, we’re talking full-on castration now? You’re reviving ancient punishments in modern Japan?

“Besides, women don’t care about the well-being of their assailants. The only time they even consider extenuating circumstances is when they’re the ones at fault.”

That seems like an extreme generalization… but since a woman is the one saying it, I have no rebuttal.

“The only issue is the location. Buying land just for this would be a waste. But if we ever mess up on some investment, we could repurpose it as a backup plan.”

Just checking—none of you have actually killed anyone before, right? You’re all still just high school girls, right?

“Guess we’ll put this on hold for now. We’d need a vehicle for kidnappings anyway.”

“Obviously, we’d use a stolen car. We’d need a shop to repaint it and swap the plates too. As for a driver, we can just hire some homeless guy for cheap.”

You really haven’t done this before, right? You’re not secretly professionals, right?

“Man, business is tough. My brain just isn’t coming up with anything good.”

Good. Don’t come up with anything. Also, maybe don’t use the word business ever again. It’s an insult to legitimate workers everywhere.

But seriously… These girls are actually plotting crimes just so they can spend every day flirting with me?

I need to deal with this curse now, or my problems are gonna go way beyond just a ruined social life.

Damn it, I still haven’t sorted out my date with Ryuu-san, and now I have to deal with this too…