Chapter 67: Anti-Marsa

Is it just me? Ever since meeting Shiro, the yandere insanity’s cranked up a notch.

　Not that it wasn’t bad before Shiro. But the whole shaving, bathroom oversharing, and diaper nonsense? That all started after. Diapers feel quaint now, honestly.

“Hey, Momiji.”
“Hmm?”
“Why do you sit on my lap facing me every break?”

　The worst part? Our classmates don’t even blink. This is just “normal” now. Probably because they’d rather die than get involved.

“Cuz I can’t touch you during class! Sitting right there but untouchable? Pure torture!”

　…Is that an answer?
　Whatever. This level of contact’s harmless… probably.

“Kumanokyo-san? Isn’t it my turn next?”

　Turn-based?! What rotation system are they even using?! Share the schedule with me, dammit! And shouldn’t I get a say?!

“Quit whinin’! I’m #1 at makin’ him happy!”

　Can’t deny it. Sadly, this position triggers trauma. No “accidents” on my chair, got it?!

“That’s your opinion. I think I have the best healing effect.”

　Your opinion! Without the curse, sure, you’d be soothing. Now? You’re nightmare fuel.

“Kaede hogs him after school. Chill.”
“Exactly. Go to club already.”

　For real. Please keep doing tennis. Otherwise, we’ll walk home together every day. Even ignoring my selfishness, you love tennis. You’ll regret quitting if the curse breaks.

“Why waste time on clubs when I could be cuddling Kogoro 24/7? I’d drop out if I could!”

　Scary part? That timeline’s plausible. Even my mom’s weirdly cool with their antics. She’d probably sign the dropout forms herself.

“Kaede! Even without compulsory education, school matters! College too, if possible!”

　Even cursed, the Class Prez stays responsible. Use that logic to quit the babyplay next!

“Gotta earn young to afford endless cuddles!”

　Is that… responsible? The logic’s sound, but the conclusion’s wild.

“But Prez… Does college even pay off? Four years without income sounds rough.”

　Short-term, yeah. Long-term, degrees usually win. Unless you job-hop—then high school grads fare better.

“Depends on the company, but degrees help. Unless you’re FIRE-genius material. Then dropping out’s smarter.”

Well, online biz doesn’t care about degrees. High school dropouts rule that world anyway!

“Then we should drop out!”

“Exactly! Why play normie when crime pays better?”

　Saying this with straight faces?! Especially Kaede—using yakuza slang proves you’re not “normie”! Normies don’t call themselves normies!

“Fair point.”

　Class Prez…?!

“Let’s have a FIRE strategy meeting after school!”

　Like it’s a mall date?! We’re high schoolers!

　…Still better than being dragged around town. At least indoors, they’ll only cling to me. Not like I have a choice anyway.

　As declared, the “meeting” happened—at my house. Better than being dragged to their homes, but still…

“First: tax evasion. Bank accounts attract tax vultures.”

　Starting with crime?! “Tax planning” my ass!

“Karaoke booths and arcades. Mess with their internal counters to underreport earnings!”

　Straight-up illegal! You’re talking fraud like it’s coupon clipping!

“Outsmarting tax parasites is essential for FIRE.”

　Most rich folks just pay taxes! You’re special.

“Buy cars and houses with cash!”

“Idiot spotted. Your brain nutrients went to useless milkless tits.”

　Momiji’s idea is dumb, but Miyabi’s jealousy is showing.

　…You ain’t lactating either, Miyabi. Right? Right?!

“Huh? Stashing cash’s annoying!”

“Annoying, but buying assets? Tax vultures swarm instantly!”

　What’d taxes ever do to you?! You’re the problem!

“Then what?! Die broke with empty banks?！”

　Planning for retirement?! You’ll be in jail by then!

“We’ll have legit side hustles for visible income. Front businesses!”

　”Front businesses”… Sure. Let’s commit more crimes!

“So… use dirty cash for living expenses?”

“Smart girl! Your tits aren’t completely useless.”

　Why insult others to boost yourself?! Just flaunt your “assets”! And get out of my house!

“Bigger sums need laundering. Amateurs should blow cash on lotteries—low risk!”

　Wouldn’t paying taxes cost less?! Wait, is your income that illegal?!

“Better 1Mcleanthan1Mcleanthan10M hidden. Lotteries deposit tax-free!”

“Right! No taxes on lottery wins!”

　…Paying taxes would still be cheaper. Are you this crooked?!

“Trading card games could work too.”

“Huh?! Toys?!”

“Packs cost pennies, but rare cards sell for thousands!”

　…Genius. And terrifying. Society must stop you.

“C’mon, Prez. Odds are rigged against us!”

“For plebs. We’ll buy thousands of packs cash. Spread purchases across stores.”

“So… launder money through cards, then sell ‘em ‘legit’?”

　Surprisingly sharp for a airhead. Ignorance is bliss, though.

“Exactly! Luxury goods raise red flags. But cards? “Got lucky with a few packs!” works.”

　…Should I report this? Can I? Cops can’t handle these monsters.

　Gotta break this curse before they crash the economy. Why must a high schooler save the nation?! I curse my fate and Kurokawa-senpai!