Chapter 61: Spring Has Arrived

They say poor circulation makes you more ticklish, but I wonder if that applies to this person.

“Mm… ah…”

She’s letting out these sultry sounds just from me touching her arm. No way this is normal. There has to be some kind of medical explanation. Either that, or her whole body is just one big erogenous zone—which would still be a condition.

“I feel… so weird…”

What a coincidence. So do I. If this were the old me, before the curse, I’d probably be getting aroused right about now.

What the hell am I even doing? Seriously. And under the open sky, no less. Is this really worth skipping class for? Especially in a restricted area on the rooftop?

“My face… My face is melting… I can’t keep it together…”

She claims her final goal is just a hug, but if she’s already like this from arm-touching, she might actually keel over. Still, that look on her face is… wow. Any more, and it’d definitely cross into obscene territory, so I’d like her to stay at this level of lewdness.

Now that I think about it, I must be pretty strong mentally. I’ve been through absolute hell with women, yet I still have a sex drive. Any ordinary guy might have been so traumatized he’d lose it by now.

“Just… just give me a minute. Just one minute to rest.”

“I don’t mind, but are you okay? Your breathing is really heavy. Your pulse must be—”

The club president seems to crave thrills from gambling, but she’s more rattled now than she’s ever been. Yet what we’re doing is almost painfully wholesome for a couple of high schoolers sneaking onto the rooftop to skip class. It’s so pure it’s unsettling. I’m weak against women like her. And to be honest, her looks are exactly my type.

“Next, I’m going to press our arms together and slowly intertwine them. If possible, I want to hold hands. Damn it! Just thinking about it makes my heart pound!”

How’d she survive the folk dance at the sports festival? Did she fake sick?

“Thank god Saka-chan isn’t some hot guy. If you were, I’d have died at least five times by now.”

I’m fully aware I’m no pretty boy, but did she really have to say that out loud? Just because she’s all gorgeous and stuff…

“Well, I’m just glad you’re beautiful, senpai. It’d be rough doing this with someone ugly.”

Just a little sarcasm. If my instincts are right…

“Wh—Whaaa!?”

I was expecting some reaction, but not this much. It was supposed to be a tiny jab, but she’s trembling like she got serenaded by some Italian playboy. If a cheap compliment is enough to make her blush this hard, she’s amazingly cost-efficient.

“You’re adorable, senpai.”

“W-Wait! Just wait!”

“Right now, you’re the most precious person in the world.”

“Hawawawa…”

She reacts like she’s straight out of one of my self-written novels, so I can’t help teasing her. I’m too careless.

“H-How many kids do you want!? Do we register right after graduation!? Or wait until after college!? I can’t stand this anymore!!”

Even though I’m cursed with a yandere harem, I keep doing reckless things. I’m definitely taking home Fool of the Year. Calm down—she needs to calm down, too, but first I have to stay composed. This is just the early stage.

“Heh… we don’t even know each other’s names yet.”

“Call me ‘Ryu-san.’ Just call me ‘Ryu-san.’”

…It’s still just the beginning. A mild case. I have to stay calm and rational.

That’s a pretty masculine-sounding name, though. Maybe it’s something like Ryuka or Ryuko. There’s no way it’s just Ryu… right?

“Ryu-san. I apologize for teasing you, but you also—”

“Ahh… A guy finally called me Ryu-san… My spring has finally come…”

She’s basking in the warmth of the sunlight! Just from being called by a nickname!

“Ha… Haha. Lately, the girls around me have been getting weirdly aggressive, so even as a joke, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t bring up stuff like kids or marriage. Even if I know you’re not serious, Ryu-san—”

“Not serious? Are you saying I was bluffing? No, that’s not it. You’re just trying to erase that passionate proposal like it never happened.

You seduced me, planning to take what you wanted and leave, but before you could even get that far, the conversation jumped straight to marriage, and now you’re trying to cut your losses.

You were this close to claiming the ‘one and only, first-come, first-served virgin hole,’ but the moment you realized it wouldn’t be for free, you backed out, crying about it.

In mahjong terms, you called a Kan, but then your opponent declared Riichi, so now you’re chickening out.

You got me all worked up, and now you’re acting all hesitant? Quit squirming and put your damn Riichi stick on the table! You’ve already gone past the point of no return!

The second I let you call me Ryu-san—a name I’ve only ever allowed my closest female friends to use—you were already my husband!

And the moment you called me that, I was already soaking wet!

If you make someone wet, you take responsibility! That’s just common decency!

Imagine a clumsy waitress at a restaurant spilling water all over you and just walking away—her entire bloodline would be wiped out!

And you? You’d have her clean your soaked crotch while blushing, and you’d climax right then and there!

That’s the privilege of the wet one and the duty of the one who did the wetting!

Don’t screw with me! Don’t let any woman but me wipe your crotch, you damn beast!

You should only be lusting after me!

Don’t let anyone else touch your Riichi stick, you shameless hussy! Do you want me to snap it in half!?

And another thing! Stop going to restaurants with female waitstaff!

If you can talk to a woman just because you have money, that’s basically a cabaret club!

You toy with my heart and then run off to some hostess bar!?

So what, cabaret clubs don’t count as cheating!?

Men always say that! But they’re the first ones to throw a fit if a woman goes to a host club or a mixer!

Screw that!

I don’t need a host club or mixers because I have you!

When have I ever lied to you!?

Why do you doubt me!?

You’re the real con artist here, seducing women left and right!”

Crap. She’s already reached the chanting phase.

And worse, she’s exactly the same type as Kaede.

She’s somehow convinced herself I regularly visit cabaret clubs.

And… Riichi stick? I mean, I get what she’s implying, but still…

“Besides, you completely lack caution and imagination.

Why would you trust some random waitress enough to let her wipe your crotch?

What if she were an assassin?

You’re so blinded by your insatiable lust that you’d willingly expose your most vulnerable spot?

Men really are such inconvenient creatures.

The part of their body that gives them pleasure is also their ultimate weak point.

I mean, women have weak spots too, but we’d never let our guard down around an assassin.

Never do it again.

Losing your ability to reproduce over something that pathetic would be a huge loss for both of us.

And more importantly, it’s cheating!

Don’t let any other woman touch you but me!”

A waitress being an assassin isn’t a matter of imagination—it’s a full-blown delusion.

And I sure as hell haven’t been unfaithful.

In fact, I’ve never had my crotch wiped by anyone, past or present!

Kaede does the same thing—getting mad over completely fabricated scenarios.

They never consider how it feels for the person being yelled at for imaginary sins.

How the hell am I supposed to respond to this?

“I haven’t let anyone wipe me, nor do I plan to.

If I ever got splashed, I’d just take a towel and wipe myself.

Also, waitresses aren’t hostesses.”

“Hmph… Like I’d listen to anything from a man who tried to hit it and quit it.”

She turns her face away with a pout, but after that sermon, I can’t even find it cute. That was pure insanity.

“I never intended to sleep with you, and I don’t even—”

“We made physical contact, and you used a special nickname for me.

If you back out now, that would be what’s truly dishonorable.

And besides, touching skin together already counts as doing it.”

We just touched arms!

That’s all we did!

Calling that “skin-to-skin contact” isn’t just an exaggeration—it’s straight-up fabrication.

Even clickbait articles aren’t this misleading.

“You clearly plan to run, but too bad—I’ve already made up my mind.

I’m linking arms with you now, so don’t you dare run.

And after that, we’re doing a full-on lovers’ clasp handhold, so prepare yourself.”

How is she threatening me in the cutest way possible?

Honestly, I wish I could’ve met her without this stupid curse.

But ironically, without the curse, we never would’ve met in the first place.

From a simple touch to arms brushing, then interlocking, and finally holding hands.

She’s moving through the stages step by step…

The real question is, where does it end?

I’m genuinely terrified.