Chapter 60: Purely Platonic Friendship

…This is bound to get troublesome, but I can’t hold back my curiosity. The saying “If a pheasant doesn’t chirp, it won’t get shot” really rings true. But I guess pheasants chirp whether they like it or not.

“Um, senpai? You’re just a gambler, right?”

“The just part feels unnecessary, but yeah.”

“You’re not a thief, are you?”

“Hahaha, first time anyone’s asked me that.”

Really? Considering the way he acts, I’m surprised no one’s asked before.

“Oh, it opened! That was easy.”

“…Why can a gambler open a padlock? And with barely any tools?”

If he had proper lock-picking tools, I might understand, but opening a padlock with just a hairpin and pliers? That’s something else. Is his family in the locksmith business?

“Anyone can open a cheap padlock like this. Usually, I just use a spare key.”

Really? I’ve never tried it before, and I rarely even see padlocks. Wait a second—what did he just say?

“You have a spare key? Isn’t the rooftop key stored securely?”

“It’s so secure that no one notices if it’s missing. It’s rarely used, so even if it’s not in its spot, it won’t get noticed right away.”

That’s quite the reverse logic. Come to think of it, it’s kind of like how bank employees sometimes steal from safe deposit boxes. Senior staff are usually the ones keeping the keys, so if they’re the ones who take something, the lower-level staff won’t even realize it’s missing. That’s… an oversight I hadn’t considered.

“So you saw an opportunity, took it, and made a copy?”

“Exactly. By the time your instant noodles are ready, I can have a spare key done.”

He casually explains while opening the door, completely unaware of how serious this is. If I were recording this, he could get expelled. Is this a sign of trust, or is he just stupid?

Well, either way, I followed him through the door. At this point, I’m an accomplice, so I won’t rat him out.

“The school’s at fault for using the same kind of locks as regular houses.”

What a professional at shifting blame. But to be fair, unless the room contains sensitive documents or valuables, there’s no need for heavy security on a rooftop. As long as regular students can’t access it, that’s enough.

“Of course, I first tested it on my house key. After confirming that there were no ID checks or paperwork involved, I went ahead and made the copy.”

“…I respect your thoroughness, but why did you make a spare key in the first place? Planning a rooftop gambling tournament?”

What’s next? Making the losers jump off the roof?

“You know how in our club, money isn’t the only thing you can use as chips, right?”

“…Yeah.”

Apparently, if you’re short on cash, you can wager pain or humiliation instead. Last time, they told me I could gamble with the risk of showing up in nothing but a diaper. There’s no way I’d ever agree to that.

“If one of our members gambles their dignity and loses, we plan to use the rooftop. Winter’s obviously a no-go, though.”

Hmm… Whether students gambling their dignity is right or wrong is another discussion, but is the rooftop really the best place for it? Sure, the chance of outsiders interfering is almost zero, but it’s an open area. What if it shows up on satellite images? Then again, I guess they wouldn’t care even if it did.

“So, when you say ‘plan to use it’…”

“Yeah, so far, only Saka-chan has, um, ‘enjoyed’ any of our members.”

So no one’s actually lost yet, or maybe they haven’t held that kind of match at all. Either way, it seems like the members are safe for now. That’s a relief—wait. Hold on a second.

“When did I ever ‘enjoy’ anyone?!”

“What are you talking about? Y-You… hugged someone! You hugged them for a whole minute!”

…Sure, I hugged her. So what? Without curses or bets involved, a hug isn’t all that unusual. Unless, of course, everyone was a loner like me or Shiro.

“So… what is it? Why did you drag me up to the rooftop? Also, if you have a spare key, wasn’t the lock-picking unnecessary?”

“…Let me explain the latter first. The lock changed. It used to be a door lock, but now it’s a padlock…”

…Oh.

It’s fuzzy since it was about a month ago, but didn’t Momiji break it? I think she said she smashed the lock so she could eat lunch on the rooftop. She never even went there in the end, so it was a wasted effort.

“Got it. And the former?”

“…The clubroom might have interruptions.”

“Ah, because you’re skipping class. If a teacher finds out—”

“That’s not the issue. Whether it’s break time or after school, um… inappropriate… relationships… uh…”

“Inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex?”

“Yeah, that! Inappropriate relationships would be bad if someone saw, right?”

Seeing someone with normal ethics is kind of comforting. This school is full of people shaving random body hair or turning multipurpose bathrooms into group hangouts.

…Wait, hold on. Am I about to have an inappropriate relationship with this person? Why?

“You’re not gambling, are you? Like, no gambling with the president’s body or anything…”

“Would you not hug someone unless it’s part of a bet? You two-timing bastard.”

“Setting aside the misunderstanding about me fooling around, I don’t think hugging counts as an inappropriate relationship.”

“…You’re so progressive, Saka-chan.”

You’re the one who’s lagging behind. Did you grow up in a village with only women?

I had a feeling, but this person is really innocent. Even though she’s a gal type, unlike Momiji, she never uses crude language. She was flustered when I hugged the bookish girl, and when pulling me somewhere, she grabbed my sleeve instead of my arm.

“I won’t ask too deeply, but you just want to hug me, right? And you’ll let me go after? Okay, here I go.”

“W-Wait! Too fast! Back off! Pervert!”

Calling me a pervert when I haven’t even touched her? Could she share even a tiny bit of that modesty with the others?

“Start with the hands. You hold hands first. I know I’m the one asking for this, but let’s take it step by step. You don’t start a car in top gear, right?”

Wow, she’s surprisingly reasonable. Not what I’d expect from a gambling club president. Though, if she was going to use a metaphor, I wish she’d gone with gambling instead of cars.

“Alright, give me your hand…”

“Wait! Let me be the one to hold your hand first. Don’t move!”

Do you think I’m an explosive device or something? You don’t need to reach out so cautiously…

“H-Here I go. Don’t get excited and attack me, okay? I know you’re a brawling expert, but I’ll fight back with everything I’ve got.”

Who gets so worked up over holding hands? No one loses their senses that easily. If someone’s going to go feral, it happens the moment they’re alone together. Or even earlier than that.

Also, I’m not a brawling expert. That was just Toumei-senpai causing chaos.

“Y-Your hand is so big. And firm… The shape, I’ve never seen one like this…”

Thanks to those people, everything she says sounds lewd now. She’s just evaluating my hand!

“I don’t have much subcutaneous fat either, but there’s such a clear difference in how veins pop between men and women. If you don’t mind, can I touch the veins in your arm?”

“…I don’t mind, I guess.”

Why does this feel like she’s interacting with me from some academic perspective? A minute ago, she was ranting about inappropriate relationships.

“For a guy, you’re slim, but even so, your arm feels harder than an average girl’s. Hmm… This texture is fascinating.”

She’s poking at my veins curiously. Her touch is so light it tickles a little.

“I-I’m doing something pretty inappropriate, huh? In this sacred place of learning, doing something borderline indecent…”

“It just looks like you’re touching my arm.”

“Hey, hey, we’re not even dating or anything, you know?”

Yeah, we’re not even friends. You don’t even know my name, so it’s questionable if we’re even acquaintances.

“Do you casually touch the arms of classmates you’re not close with? I mean girls’ arms, not guys’.”

“…Even with guys, I wouldn’t.”

Back in the day, even that would’ve been a big no for me. Now it’s absolutely out of the question. Just passing by someone makes them scream. If I make eye contact, it’s, ‘He’s going to kiss me! Shave my hair! Someone call an adult! Call the hunting association!’ Touching an arm? That’d probably get me accused of assault.

“See? Here we are skipping class, touching arms on the rooftop.”

“We’re not really touching each other’s arms, though.”

“…Give me a moment. I just need to mentally prepare myself. I’ll let you touch mine too, but just wait a little longer.”

It’s just an arm, right? Just touching an arm. Not something else—just an arm.

“To be honest… just your body temperature is already overwhelming me. I knew there were temperature differences between men and women, but I didn’t realize it could mess with my brain this much.”

It’s messing with her brain? My body heat is making her release dopamine? What am I, some kind of human-shaped drug?

…It feels like getting to the hugging stage is going to take a while. Maybe the whole day. What kind of excuse am I going to give those guys later?